Chapter 24

Sadie

Thanksgiving is the time of year I love the most; next to Christmas, of course. It’s a time where my mom and I spend the whole day in the kitchen, cooking our favorite meal, talking, laughing, and just enjoying each other’s company.

And even though it’s not spent in our little cottage this year but in a new massive house, it’s still just as fun because it’s not where you are or what you cook, it’s who you’re doing it with.

“Oh my god.” I snort as Mom takes the turkey out. “What is that!” She places it on the stovetop and takes a step back.

“Why is this hanging out over the side of the roasting pan?” Mom asks, brow raised as she spins an amused look over to Grayson.

“You had my man’s dick shoved in his body. Had to at least give him a bit of dignity while you cooked it. Also, not eating that. Can’t betray a fellow male like that.” Grayson shudders with mock horror.

I roll my lips together, biting down a grin as his father shakes his head with a smile.

“I’m sorry, dick?” Mom asks, her own grin finding her lips.

“Yeah.” He nods. “When you asked me to take the turkey out and baste it.” He shoots me a wink, but I just roll my eyes. Leave it to Grayson to find ways to make everything dirty. “I saw it sticking out. Shame to do a man dirty.”

“Grayson.” I can’t help the laugh that escapes. “That’s not his dick.”

“It’s not?” He frowns.

“I apologize for my son,” Mark laughs. “We usually have chefs that make our holiday meals. He’s never seen a turkey neck before.”

“Neck?” Grayson’s gaze snaps to his father's. “That is his neck?”

“Why would you think this was his dick?” I laugh, holding up the neck. “I mean, look at the thing.”

“I just thought my man was hung.” Grayson almost sounds disappointed. “I really thought he was a lady’s man, getting all the girl turkeys.”

“You don’t even know if it was a guy; that could have been a girl, you know?” I ask, looking at my adorable boyfriend.

“Then I’d say she had a massive dick.” He snorts.

“Not a dick!” I burst out laughing. Mom sighs, shaking her head with a smile.

“You two, stop saying dick. It sounds weird. You're just kids.”

“Mom, don’t start acting like you're all innocent now,” I tease. “Don’t think I didn’t see you and Carol giggling over the box that got ‘miss-delivered’ to Carol,” I emphasize the last part using air quotes.

Mom’s face pales before going pink. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” She spins around and puts the turkey back in the oven to cook some more before going over to stir the potatoes.

“Wait, what box?” Grayson asks.

“Yeah, love, what box?” Mark joins in, both of them grinning. I can see where Grayson get’s not only his handsome looks, but his charming personality. He’s his own man, but I see a lot of his father reflecting back. It’s not a bad thing. Mark is a great guy and treats my mom like a queen.

“When we went over the other day, Carol excitedly dragged Mom into the study. When I didn’t see them for a few minutes and heard a lot of giggling, I went to check. Found her and Carol digging through a box of sex toys. Big massive dicks the size of my arm.” I hold up my forearm.

Mark's eyes widen as Grayson bursts into laughter. “No way. Headmistress was playing with sex toys?”

“Grayson!” my mom hisses, spinning around to glare at him. She then shoots me a glare. “Sadie. You're grounded.”

“I’m nineteen.” I laugh. “I’m in college.”

“You live here,” she huffs. “You're grounded. No...” she waves her hand around before she grins. “No chocolate pudding pie.”

My lips part as I gape at her. “You wouldn’t.”

“I would.” She gives me a smug smile.

“You’re playing dirty, Mom,” I growl.

“Says the daughter who just outed me for playing with sex toys.”

“So you were playing with them?” Mark asks, making Mom’s cheeks redden.

“I’m going to answer the door,” Mom says, heading towards the doorway that leads to the entryway.

“But no one knocked or rang the bell,” Grayson says in confusion. As soon as the words leave his mouth, the doorbell goes off, and Mom shoots him a smug look.

“Guys, be nice to your mother. You're embarrassing her.”

A gross feeling fills me as he refers to her as not only my mom but Grayson’s, too. I’m glad he has her; they get along really well. Mom has even said how much she enjoys having Grayson in our lives and that he’s a good boy.

Wonder what she would think if she found out I was fucking her new stepson.

“You okay, Sadie?” Grayson asks, his playful tone gone.

“I’m fine.” I give him a little smile.

“Sadie! Your boyfriend's here,” Mom calls out.

I know she’s doing it to embarrass me, but joke’s on her because I’m so damn excited to have Declan here.

Grayson chuckles as my eyes light up, and I rush out of the kitchen into the entryway.

There he is, Declan in all his handsome glory. I’ve missed him so damn much. After he confronted his parents about calling off the engagement, things between them have been getting better.

I guess after he went to talk to Mia’s parents, he went back over and talked to them, to let them know how he felt about their absence in his life.

So, his mom planned a family vacation for the three of them. He just got back this morning.

“Hey, Sweetheart.” Declan grins, and I squeal as I run towards him. He chuckles, catching me as I leap into his arms. “I missed you–” I cut him off by smashing my lips to his, not even caring that my mom’s watching.

“Never leave me again,” I murmur between kisses.

“You know, it’s rude to do that when there are people watching,” Collin’s voice has me pulling back from Declan, breathing heavily.

“When did you get here?” I ask, raising a brow. More heat floods my belly at the private naughty look he gives me.

“They were just behind lover boy here.” Grayson nods his head to Declan.

“You two are adorable,” Mom gushes as Declan puts me down, Declan giving one of his adorable blushes.

“They’re okay,” Collin mutters.

“Don’t worry, Collin, no need to be jealous. We all know you two are together as well.” Mom grins as Carol laughs.

My eyes widen. “W-what?”

“Honey, I knew you didn’t stand a chance with Collin and his obsession.” Mom laughs. “From a young age, this boy was over the top.”

“I only wanted what was best for her, sue me,” Collin sighs, crossing his arms.

“Why do you think we sent him away?” Carol smiles. “We didn’t need him scaring you away.”

“Aren't you like five years older than Sadie?” Declan asks. “Isn’t that weird to be a teenager and obsessed with a kid?”

“Listen here, you little shit.” Collin gets in Declan’s face. “I didn’t have those kinds of feelings for her until this year. I saw her, and my whole life fucking shifted.”

“Really?” I ask, blinking at him in surprise. “You never told me that.”

“He left the same day after coming to tell us he was going to marry you.” Carol grins.

“You really are a crazy fucker, aren't you?” I ask Collin, still in a little bit of shock.

“And you fucking love it,” Collin growls.

I bite my lip because I do. I love his brand of crazy.

“Wait.” I spin to face my mom. “You know I’m seeing Collin?”

“I assumed as much since Collin was back. I didn’t think he would hold off any longer.”

“And you would be very correct.” Collin nods.

“Then you told me about Declan. So, I thought that something between you and Collin wasn’t going to happen.”

“Like I’d allow that,” Collin mutters.

“Enough.” Carol glares at her son.

“But then I saw the way you two were when hanging out a few weeks ago, and I had no doubt there was something going on between the two of you. No one looks at someone with that much love and are not together.”

Oh, little does she know it very much happens. More than most would like.

“How did you know she was seeing both of us? Maybe she’s been seeing me behind Declan’s back, and you just outed her,” Collin challenges.

My mom gives me a matching glare to the one Carol gave her son. “Because I know my daughter. She would never cheat.”

“And you're okay with all of this?” I ask her. “Me dating more than one person?”

“I am. I love you, and I just want you to be happy. I just hope you know how much work it’s going to be. This world is ruthless and cutthroat. But I know with those two by your side, you will be fine.”

“But you are expected to keep your relationship private.” Carol gives Collin a look.

“Yeah, yeah, until after she’s out of my class, I know.” Collin rolls his eyes.

With my eyes, I tell him we’re having a conversation about this later. I can’t get mad at anyone for keeping secrets when I seem to be keeping more than everyone combined.

Maybe I’ll believe the lies I tell myself if I tell them enough.

“How come you didn’t say anything to me?” I ask Mom.

She shrugs, expression loving. “I was waiting for you to come to me. But I can see how you might not feel like this would be something you could talk to me about. But I want you to know that you can come to me about anything. I love you, Sadie. And I’ll support whoever you choose to love. No matter the numbers.”

“Mom.” My eyes sting, and I wrap my arms around her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, honey.”

“Erin, love, you better get in here before my son eats all the damn cookies,” Mark calls out.

“That boy and his sweet tooth,” Mom sighs as she steps back. “We’ll talk more later?”

“Yeah.” I smile. I feel like shit for keeping so much from her. I’m honestly surprised that she’s okay with me dating more than one person.

The question is, would she be this okay with me dating Grayson, too?

Would dating my stepbrother be crossing the line?

“Okay, I was not expecting that,” Declan says, pushing his glasses up his nose.

“Same,” I say guiltily. “I really should have told her sooner.”

“It’s normal to not expect a parent to be okay with something like this. Especially in this society,” Declan reassures.

“But my mom isn’t like most people in this society. Neither is yours.” I look at Collin. “I should have known.”

“Don’t beat yourself up over it, Sunshine. Let’s not focus on that, but be happy we can be a little bit more open around one another.”

That has me smiling. “Yeah. I’d like that.” I know he’s been feeling a little left out with the guys being able to be around me all the time. It’s not that he’s a teacher that's keeping him from me; he didn’t seem to care much about that before. It’s his father. His stupid, useless father. I need to ask him how everything regarding that asshole is going.

“So, are you two going to move out of the doorway and let the little lost soul standing out there come in, or what?” Collin asks, and I frown.

“What?”

Collin turns the handle and pulls the door open. Standing on the doorstep is none other than Preston.

“What are you doing here?” My statement has a protective edge to it as I step in front of Declan.

Preston shifts from one foot to the other, his blond hair longer and shaggier than normal. He looks guilty. His hands are shoved in his pockets, a lost look in his eyes.

He doesn’t look good; he looks tired, defeated. Damn it. Damn this man for making me feel bad for him.

“I invited him,” Collin says. “He’s my brother, and I’d like to spend Thanksgiving with him.”

“This isn’t your house,” Declan grumbles. “You don’t have the right to invite anyone over.”

“I’ll just go,” Preston mutters. “It was stupid of me to come anyways.” But he doesn’t move, he doesn’t leave.

“Get your stubborn ass in here and talk to the two people your head over heels for. Don’t make me beat your ass, little brother,” Collin growls.

“They clearly don’t want to see me,” Preston snarls back.

“Sadie, Declan, take this dumbass into the study and talk to him. Do not leave until you have all your shit out on the table. Preston here is done being a raging asshole.”

“Tell me again why I even talk to you,” Preston spits.

“Are you not here to apologize to them?” Collin asks.

“He doesn’t have anything to apologize to me for.” I look to Preston. “That would be Declan.”

At the mention of his name, Preston’s eyes finally lift up to look at the man behind me. I see the regret and pain in his eyes.

Preston likes Declan, he might even be in love with him. If he would just work with us and not act like there is no hope of them having a future, he would see he’s not alone.

It feels like someone is fisting my heart as I stare at him. I’ve never seen him so vulnerable and broken. Tearing my gaze away from Preston, I look over my shoulder at Declan. His eyes are glued to Preston, his jaw clenched.

“Do you want to hear what he has to say?” I ask Declan.

“Not if he’s going to spill his heart out, kiss me, tell me it’s a mistake, and walk away again,” Declan murmurs in a low voice.

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Preston says. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

“For which part?” Declan asks.

“Walking away.” Preston continues holding his gaze. “I shouldn’t have told you it was a mistake. Nothing with you is a mistake, Declan.”

Declan is quiet for a moment. “Fine,” he says softly before he turns around and walks into the house. I follow after him, nerves fluttering in my belly. Is this it? Is this the moment where Preston finally pulls his head out of his ass?

That would be a Thanksgiving miracle if you ask me.

We head into the study and Declan takes a seat on the couch. When I move to sit next to him, he pulls me down into his lap.

I smile softly and press a kiss to his lips as he wraps his arms around me. I’ll be his anchor, his support, always.

Preston joins us, running a hand through his hair, taking a deep breath as he takes a seat in the chair across from us.

“So,” I start as Preston just looks up at us awkwardly.

“I know this isn’t an excuse, but being open about my feelings isn’t easy for me.”

Declan snorts. “Unless you're drunk,” he mutters.

Preston sighs. “What I said that night... I meant every word,” he confirms, eyes on Declan. “It was the wrong time, wrong place. I panicked because, in that moment, I was forced to realize a lot of things about myself, my feelings, and my sexuality. It hit too hard, too fast, and it was so fucking wrong of me to take it out on you.”

“You think?” Declan grunts.

“Fuck.” Preston gets to his feet and starts to pace. “I’m just gonna lay it all out there. Please, just let me speak. Then you can yell at me all you want, okay?”

“Whatever,” Declan whispers.

“We’re listening,” I say, raising a brow. I’m not heartless, I know what he’s going through is hard. But it doesn’t give him permission to fuck around with someone's feelings.

“I’m in love with you,” Preston blurts.

Declan and I pause as my heart thunders in my chest. No one says anything for a moment until I ask. “Who?” It comes out as a whisper like I’m not sure I want to know the answer and risk getting hurt myself.

“Both of you.” His voice breaks. “I’m so fucking gone for the both of you that it’s fucking with my head.” He starts to pace, and a lump forms in my chest. “My life is a fucking mess. I have a psychopath for a father who's the puppet master of my life. For the longest time, I fought him, rebelled, didn’t give a shit. I’d pay the consequences for my actions in the form of his fists connecting with my body, but I didn’t care about the pain, about the bruises. What's the worst he could do? Kill me?” Preston laughs, shaking his head.

“Sometimes I wished he would—end me and put me out of my fucking misery. Because I truly felt like I had nothing. No friends, no family. No one loved me.” He sighs, grabbing handfuls of his hair. “I had Collin, but I was so consumed with my jealousy and resentment of him for the life he got to live. The life I wanted so fucking bad. I didn’t care about anything, happy in just being a miserable asshole. Until I met you.”

He looks at me, his deep blue eyes so damn pitiful. “The quiet girl in the tower. The one who let me sit with her. You never asked anything from me. Never judged me. You were just there. Some of my darkest days ended in that tower. And the only reason I got through them was because I got to sit there with you. I’d think, if I end things today, would she wonder if I’d be back? Would she worry? A part of me felt like if I left this world, I’d be leaving you, and I just couldn't do that. Even if we never talked, you became a big part of my sanity.”

He’s heaving now, and my eyes water as I grip Declan’s hand, his arms wrapping around me tightly.

“The first day I knew I loved you was the first time you offered me something to eat. Your kind eyes as you held out that candy bar felt like you were offering me the world.” He growls and grabs handfuls of his hair again. “I stopped coming because my feelings for you became so strong I felt like I was drowning. It was a reminder that I could never have you. Because my life was set in stone for something else. It wasn’t a possibility. My father would never stand for it. To him, you would have been just the daughter of the help.” He looks at me with wide eyes. “I’ve never thought that.” He keeps going when I lick my lips, nodding my head as I try to hold back the tears threatening to spill.

“So, I became bitter and an asshole. Hating the world because even with all the money we had, it couldn’t buy me the things I wanted in life. It couldn’t buy me my freedom. That’s why we ended up opening the club. It was my way to make money that wasn’t controlled by my father. Something that was just mine. My plan was to take it and disappear. Change my name and make a new life for myself.”

He swings his eyes back to me again. “That was until you walked into the Host Club and made a deal that turned my life upside down. Because I already convinced myself I’d never have you. Not in any way. It’s why I stopped going to the tower. Being around you and craving you like I did, it hurt too much. That night nearly killed me, Sadie.”

Tears fall at the reminder of the night he’s talking about. The lowest point in my life. He still doesn’t know why, and he’s never asked. If he asked me, I think I’d tell him. He deserves to know, doesn’t he?

“That deal, it brought everything back that I’ve worked so hard to bury down. I was a fucking jackass to you. I treated you like shit because I was a coward. I was so damn afraid of those feelings coming back and taking over me like they used to. Not that they ever really went away. Being with you that night in the club was the best and worst time of my life. The best because I finally had you in ways I’ve only dreamed of. But worst because I was so heartless and cruel to you. I’m so fucking sorry, Sadie. I’m sorry I hurt you. I’m sorry I continue to hurt you. I’m in love with you, I can’t breathe knowing I can’t have you.”

“But you can,” I rasp, wiping at my eyes.

“What?” He blinks at me with wide, wild eyes.

I get up off Declan’s lap and stand, moving to crowd Preston’s space. My stomach twists into knots, everything he just said making my head spin. But this needs to happen.

“I like you, Preston.” I laugh. “Despite how you’ve treated me, I’ve liked you for a long time. I saw the broken boy inside you, and I knew the facade you put on, that the way you treated me wasn't who you really were. Because I’ve seen the real you, Preston. Every time we would sit in that tower, I saw the broken boy who just wanted to be loved. I wanted to do that for you. I wanted to be there,” I sob. “But you wouldn’t let me. I’m broken, too, you know. So damn broken, you don’t even know. And someday, I’ll tell you.” I wipe my tears. “But if you want me, Preston, here I am. All you have to do is work for it, take the steps to prove you want me. I’m right here.”

“It’s not that easy,” he says, sounding so broken.

“We’re going to put an end to your father,” I promise him. “You will be free, Preston. I can’t tell you when or how, but if you're willing to make the sacrifices the others have to make this work, then I’m here.” My voice lowers to a whisper. “I like you, Preston. Even though everything that’s happened between us was warning me away, I ignored it because I know who you are deep down. Give me that man. Let me help you be that man. Let us help you.”

Both of our chests heave, both sets of eyes wet with tears. I feel open and raw, and I’m sure he feels just the same. I want to tell him how proud I am of him for finally letting us in, for coming to us with his worries and pain.

He takes a step towards me, but I take a step back, causing hurt to flash in his eyes. “We are nothing without Declan,” I tell him. “I won’t even entertain the idea of us being something more unless you two settle whatever happened on Halloween night and everything else since.”

Preston’s eyes flick over to Declan. I turn to see him sitting there, body rigid as he stares down at the ground, eyes red like he’s about to cry.

I wanna go over there and comfort him, but the person who should be doing that goes over to him and gets down on his knees before him.

“Declan,” Preston’s voice is soft and pleading. “Look at me, please.”

Declan lifts his eyes, nostrils flaring as he tries to keep things under control.

“I’m so fucking sorry for the night of the party. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that. And it kills me that I hurt you. I need you to know that I love you. I’m not ashamed of it. I don’t wish things were different. I’ll be honest: coming to the reality of my sexuality came at the worst time in my life. I was drowning in my own self-hatred and misery. I didn’t hate myself for being bi, I hated myself for falling for another person I couldn’t have. Another person I’ve let down.” He places his hands on Declan’s thighs.

Declan doesn’t look away, his lower lip wobbling. I stand there and watch, my eyes stinging, still shocked that this is all really happening right now.

“I want to be with you. I want to be with both of you. To love you, to take care of you, to be the man you deserve. But I don’t know how to do that, not while my father has me by the throat. But I know I can’t keep pushing you away. I don’t want to deny my feelings for you, either. I don’t deserve you. Either of you. But I want you. I want to be worthy of you both. I’d understand if you can’t forgive me for the things I did, but I need you to know that I’m sorry, and if I could take the words back that broke your heart, I would.” Preston lowers his head, closing his eyes. “I’m scared. I’m so fucking terrified. Not just of what my father would do if he found out about my feelings for you and Sadie. But for giving in to them. I’m not good at being affectionate or romantic. And though I love you both, I don’t know how that’s supposed to work. I’ve never seen love. Not until I saw the way you two are with each other.” He lifts his head again. “I want that,” he whispers, his voice raw. “I want that with both of you together, with you individually.” His voice cracks, and god, so does my heart with his next words. “I just want to love and be loved.” He hangs his head as if he’s ashamed for even thinking he deserves it.

My hand moves to my mouth as I smother a sob that wants to rip free. Tears spill down my cheeks as my heart races in my chest. This man, he’s so fucked up because of his parents. He deserved so much better. He was never a bad guy, just dragged down by the evils of his world. The evils within the four walls of his home.

Declan’s eyes are filled with sorrow and love as he parts his lips, blinking a few times. His eyes flick up to mine, and I give him a sad smile, letting him know I’m okay with whatever he chooses.

Declan looks down at Preston and grips him by the chin, lifting his head up so he can look at him.

“You are loved,” Declan whispers, giving him a soft smile. “You’ve just hated yourself too much to see it. But you don’t need to hate yourself anymore, Preston. We don’t. We never could. We love you. We want to be with you, to fight by your side—with you, not against you. Let us love you even if you don’t love yourself. Let us be there for you. Let us be your strength. You don’t have to do this alone anymore.” Declan leans in and presses a kiss to Preston’s lips.

The whimper that escapes Preston has me squeezing my eyes shut from another wave of tears. Preston wraps his arms around Declan’s waist and starts to cry, holding on to him like he’s seconds away from falling apart and Declan is his lifeline.

Declan grabs the back of Preston’s head, holding it to his chest, and kisses the top of it before looking at me, tears trailing down his cheeks. I move to kneel behind Preston and wrap my arms around him from behind.

It makes Preston cry harder, and I join him.

I cry with him for all the times his father hit him. All the times he made Preston feel like he’s worthless. For all the time, his dad was cruel, and for every second, he was forced to do all the things he hates by his father's hand.

Declan plays with my hair, patting my head as he rubs Preston’s back.

I’m not sure how long we sit here like this, soaking in each other's touch before Preston’s phone rings.

I move so that he can grab it from his pocket. He takes a look and curses before putting his forehead on Declan’s knee.

“I have to go,” he says in a hollow voice. He takes in a big, exhausted breath before looking up at us. “It’s my father asking me where I am. I’m supposed to be going over to...” He blinks a few times, wiping at his eyes as he stands.

“To Tina’s?”

“Fuck.” Preston scrubs his hands with his face. “Fucking fuck!” He shakes out his head. “I don’t want to. Please know I don’t want to.” He looks between us with pleading eyes.

“Hey.” I put my hand on his arm. “We understand. We’ll figure it out.”

“This isn’t over.” He looks between us. “I have more I want to say.”

“And we want to listen,” Declan replies, standing up and coming to my side.

Preston looks between us, not sure what to do, what to say. I can tell leaving us right now is tearing him apart. I know he wants to stay here with us.

“I’m not running. Not this time,” he whispers.

“We know,” Declan answers.

Preston’s phone rings again, and he curses. “Shit. I-I have to go.” He gives us one last longing look before taking off.

Letting out a sigh, my heart, I turn to look at Declan to talk about what just happened when Preston busts back into the room. “I forgot something,” he says, then rushes over to us. He grabs me by the back of the head, his lips crashing into mine. “I love you, Kitten,” he pants before doing the same to Declan. Declan whimpers against Preston’s lips, their kiss quick but passionate. “I love you too,” he tells Declan before turning around and leaving again.

“Did that really just happen?” Delcan looks down at me with a shy smile on his face.

“I think it did.” I laugh. “Wanna talk about it?”

He shakes his head. “Later. Right now, we have turkey to eat.”

As we sit down at the table, I give my two other boyfriends a smile, letting them know I’m okay before smiling over at Declan.

My eyes drift to the empty chair next to Collin and my heart pangs. Maybe next holiday it will be filled.

I’m not sure where we go next, but I know both Declan and I want to give Preston the chance to prove himself to us. We love him, we care. Now he just needs to let us take care of him like he deserves.