Chapter Twenty-Six

The wolf shall heed the raven’s call

R avyn hesitantly followed the small path that Sebastian’s sister-in-law had pointed out to her.

Halfway over the Rockies, Ravyn’s old fears returned. What if Toby’s mother blamed her for what had happened? She didn’t have a lot of experience with female wolves, but the ones she’d met over the years were fiercely protective of their young. And with the loss of her mate, the protectiveness would be exponential.

However, instead of being met by anger, she was met by the swift, firm hug of the taller woman. The boys had gone into town to watch a movie with some older members of the pack as well as her younger twins, while Sara was catching up on some needed household chores. And, Ravyn suspected, enjoying a bit of quiet time.

“Those boys sure can eat,” she told Ravyn, sounding rather proud, “but surely, you know that.” She led Ravyn into the homey kitchen where they sat at a well-worn, oversized wooden table which bespoke decades of meals shared among wolves. Ravyn held the warm teacup in hand, only accepting it to appease Sara’s desire to extend hospitality when what she really wanted was to see Bash.

Looking at her cup, Ravyn began, “I owe you an—”

Placing a warmer hand onto Ravyn’s, Sara gently shook her head. “No, you don’t. Our men aren’t like regular men. As much as we try to protect and coddle them, they’re not like human men. You treated Toby—Tobias,” she corrected herself. “You treated him right, and you treated him well. I sent him away because I was afraid of what happened to his father, and I was afraid of the path he was on. I couldn’t talk to him or say the right thing. But you and Bash gave him what he needed. I can see the man he’s becoming.”

Blinking back tears, Sara smiled at Ravyn. “Plus you sent me another son. Kai is friend to the wolves, but he’s also family now.”

Choosing her words carefully after subtly tasting and testing the air in the home, Ravyn asked, “You’re a witch? Not a wolf?”

Smiling in her kind and gentle way, the woman responded almost sadly, “Is that a question or an observation? But yes, I am. I grew up in the town instead of the forest, but I knew James and Sebastian for as long as I can remember. With so few paranormals, we tend to sort of gravitate toward each other regardless of our affiliation.”

“Was it a problem… being different? I guess that’s a stupid question. Obviously you’re here, living with the pack and having his pups.” Ravyn tried to wave off the need to know the answer. “I apologize. I overstepped and, well, I apologize for my nosiness.”

Shaking her head, Sara considered her question, this time choosing her own words carefully. “As with any mating or marriage, some will be unhappy with it even if there are no differences. But for James, there was never any doubt and he never questioned Fenrir when he chose me as his mate. Sebastian, as well as most of the pack, welcomed me with open arms. For wolves, they’re a progressive group.” She laughed. “My family had a few more complaints for sure.”

“Why would they? Are they prejudiced?” To be accepted by a wolf pack, any pack, was a great honor and surely even a coven would see it that way.

“No, not really prejudiced.” Hesitating, she once again considered her words. “I don’t want you to see my family in a bad light; they truly aren’t bad people. They absolutely adored James and were nearly as heartbroken as us when we lost him. But to mate with a wolf changes your world. Our children were destined to only be wolves. If I had children with a witch or even a human, they would be witches or at least more likely to be. But a wolf? Our children would only be wolves. Both of our people’s numbers have dwindled over the centuries, so it hurt my family knowing that my children would never add to the number of witches in the world.”

“But they accepted it and the children?”

“Oh, yes. They were saddened by the loss of a future generation, the image they had held in their minds and hearts, but at the same time, who can argue against a god- or goddess-ordained pairing?” She laughed roughly as Ravyn watched her heart break over the loss of her mate.

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up—”

“Oh no”—Sara sniffed—“it’s wise to question such things. Losing James was the most difficult chapter of my life.” After a moment’s pause, she added, “Well, Toby’s attack is a close second. But the children are what keep me going each and every day. James would want that. Wolves follow one another quickly to the afterlife, and although I look for the day I can meet him there, right now I’m needed more here.”

Interesting . Ravyn’s mind whirled. She’d always thought that mates’ lives were entwined together and if one went, they both went. But Sara made it sound like it was, in fact, a choice rather than a destiny.

Apparently recognizing the realization that crossed Ravyn’s face, Sara explained further. “A mating deemed by Fenrir does tie the lifespans together. Fenrir and the goddess chose wisely by our mating. If James had mated with a wolf, she would have joined him in the afterlife quite quickly. There would have been no chance of her living out a natural life without turning feral. But me being me… a witch…” She trailed off, considering. “That means I can be here for the children he left behind. Because the gods chose our pairing, our children still have a parent walking the earth with them. I’m here as long as my children need me or until my natural lifetime takes me.”

Standing up, Sara gently removed the still full cup of now cool tea from Ravyn’s hands. “Now, I don’t want to keep you. I know it isn’t me you’re here to see. And to be honest, I’m thankful you’re here. He’s been out running as a wolf since he arrived. He’s hurting, and I suspect you are too.” Bustling around the kitchen, Sara fanned her face with a small tea towel while Ravyn watched her.

“Does it bother you? That I’m, well, me and he’s a wolf?” After their conversation, Ravyn was hopeful that pack relations extended beyond witches and into other species.

“Oh, goodness, no!” Shock crossed Sara’s face. “I hope he didn’t tell you that?”

At the shake of Ravyn’s head, she continued, “Ms. Sinclair, in our pack we grab a hold of any bit of happiness we can find for however long we find it. There can be so little happiness in the world, so grab it with both hands and hang on tight when Fenrir grants it to you. Our lifespan might not be as long as yours but, gods willing, Bash and you should have centuries to hold that happiness. The gods have a plan even if we can’t see it. They wouldn’t have made you mates if you weren’t made for one another.”

Mates? Ravyn questioned the word, rolling it over and over in her mind. When Sebastian looked at her, did he see a mate? Ravyn wished she’d taken the time to ask Sara more questions about being a mate. She was inexplicably drawn to Bash and hated for him to be out of the room. The last few days had been torture.

Was this why her heart felt like it was breaking into a million pieces after he’d flown halfway across the country? If he felt the same way, how could he have left?

Ravyn silently walked the shadowed path toward the cabin that Sara had directed her down, her eyes flitting about, searching for any sign that Bash had been that way recently. Sara had brought in the two-person security team who had accompanied Ravyn so that she could feed them a good meal, claiming that California cuisine had nothing on good old-fashioned home cooking. The men had hesitated, clearly torn between the promise of food and the necessity of protecting Ravyn. It hadn’t taken much convincing from both women for them to accept that it was fine for Ravyn to walk the secure area of the pack’s nearly-empty compound.

It didn’t take long to find him. Or truthfully, for his wolf to find her. One moment she strolled along a quiet bend in the path and the next, his wolf stood in front of her before sitting on his haunches with a whine and what looked like a toothy smile.

“Hey you,” she whispered, going closer to the shaggy, nearly white animal whose clear yellow eyes watched her intently before laying down, sitting his chin between his paws with an inviting whine and yawn. Stepping closer, she marveled at his beauty, before setting a tentative hand on his head and stroking the soft fur down his neck. Like his counterpart, the fur was pale, and slightly curly, but not nearly as long as how Bash wore his hair. “So handsome,” she cooed, stroking the white-and-silver wolf who preened under her touch and words.

Before today, she’d only seen flashes of his animal. Bash had transformed when they left the wendigo's lair. One moment he was a man, then in the blink of an eye, he’d slid into wolf form, leaving behind a pile of clothes and shoes. In another blink, he quickly loped off to circle Bertrando’s compound for others—survivors or minions.

There had been no chance to simply appreciate the beauty and the strength of the animal who seemed to preen under her touch. Nuzzling his muzzle against her, he leaned into her lap, soaking up the moment.

Too soon, the wolf stood up with a huff circling around as he backed up a few steps. Hunching over, the transformation began, and the wolf’s form crackled and snapped into the familiar shape of the man who unfurled to stand up to his full height.

Naked.

Of course, his clothes didn’t shift with him. Ravyn blinked slowly as her eyes adjusted, before belatedly remembering the pack of clothes Sara had sent off with her. She stood wide-eyed and, without a word, shoved the pack toward him.

Keeping his eyes on the pack, he sighed and then let out a sardonic chuckle as he pulled out the clothes. “Sara sent these?”

Ravyn nodded, keeping her eyes up on his face as he held up the pair of joggers Sara had packed.

With a grunt, he pulled them on, wiggling them up past his hips as Ravyn bravely kept her eyes on his face.

“She sent Toby’s pants,” he announced with his hands out to his sides. “And no shirt at all.”

While Toby nearly had his uncle’s height, there were at least two sizes separating the two. Allowing her gaze to drop, she snorted out a burst of laughter at the skin-tight black joggers hugging his legs, ending at his mid calves and sitting low and tight on his hips as far up as they could be pulled. “It could be worse. She could have sent Kai’s.” His shorter stature would have made wearing his pants impossible.

Nodding in agreement, Bash picked up a long strand of grass from the side of the trail and twirled it in one hand between two fingers. “Did you fly commercial out here or something?”

“Why does everyone keep acting like that’s such a big deal? I’m a two-thousand-year-old creature created by black magic and hell-bound demons. I literally kill people,” Ravyn grumbled good-naturedly. For the first time in days, she felt the tightness in her chest release just a hint. “No, I did not, in fact, fly commercial. Apparently, Oliver likes sending his plane back to the west coast at every opportunity, just in case,” she mocked, using finger quotes but softening her words with a smile.

Silence lay heavy between them as Ravyn struggled to find her next words, her chest once again drawing slightly tighter. Dammit, she had hours to figure out what to say on the flight over as well as the drive down. Others wrote words for her; she could always find the emotion to deliver the words, but they weren’t her own. Yet another thing she’d grown lazy about.

“What are you…” Bash began just as Ravyn opened her mouth to say something, anything. “Go ahead,” he offered generously

Ravyn groaned inwardly. “Your sister-in-law says you’ve been out here running in the wolf form since you came back,” she offered weakly, still using someone else’s words.

Bash didn’t break eye contact but continued to twirl the long stem of prairie grass between his fingers. “I suppose I have been. My wolf hasn’t been able to run completely free for a while. And it’s only been a few days.”

Ravyn knew it was partially her fault, or maybe completely. He hadn’t cycled out any down time since he’d arrived on the mission. The wolf was only allowed free during the full moon and even then, it couldn’t relax completely, running on borrowed land. It went against their instincts, no matter how much they trusted one another.

“I’m sorry for that. I’m glad he’s got the chance now.” The words sounded weak even as she said them and she nearly grimaced but was determined to keep an impassive face.

“Ravyn…” Bash sighed gently, looking more defeated than he had even in the face of Toby’s injuries. Determination and revenge had filled his face then; now it was just sadness. “Why did you come here?”

“Why didn’t you ask to stay?” The words shot out of her mouth before she could stop them. But once they were out, she didn’t wish them back.

“Stay?” With a huff, Bash looked up at the sky as if begging Fenrir himself to give him the answer. “Why didn’t you ask to come? Why didn’t you ask me to stay? You told me to go,” he reminded her with a frank look.

“I tell everyone to go,” she whispered back, admitting it for the first time. “I tell everyone to go, and they go. Even you went.” Swallowing the urge to remain silent and bolt, she pushed on, “Would you have stayed if I asked?”

“You didn’t ask,” he reminded her, tossing the frayed grass strand aside before crossing his arms across his chest. For the first time, his hair wasn’t smoothed back into a bun or pony tail. Instead, the curls hung freely down his shoulders, slightly matted in places as well as decorated with twigs and forest debris.

“When you kissed me after… I got scared,” Ravyn admitted. “I got scared and I pushed you away. I had words I wanted to say, but couldn’t. And it seemed like you immediately were making plans to go. Plans to take Toby home. Plans to hunt down Ibis. None of those plans included me.”

“After a battle isn’t always the time to profess...things. Things said after the high of battle, aren’t always sincere. I wanted to save you from that. Then you didn’t give me a chance to include you in those plans. You immediately assumed the worst of me. And after that night together, I thought maybe we were more than that. I thought maybe you would want to be included in my plans or that you would include me in yours.”

“It seemed safer not to assume,” Ravyn confessed. “And we never had a chance to talk after that night. You were gone. I was gone...”

“Why are you here now? Are you finished being scared, Princess?”

A small smile broke through her trembling lips and she shook her head. “No, Thor. I’m terrified now.”

“Why are you here?” he repeated, lowering his arms and taking a step closer.

The forest seemed to grow quieter around them as if awaiting her answer as well.

“I don’t want to be alone,” Ravyn began softly.

“So, you just want a warm body? You can pay for that! Hell, people—anyone—would pay you to be that warm body,” he scoffed, folding his arms across his chest.

Ravyn felt her face warm as the first flash of anger flowed through her. This time it was her taking a step closer. Couldn’t he just shut up and listen for once? Why was he so difficult all the time?

“No, you big dumb wolf,” she began before a soft growl emanated from Bash’s chest. Apparently, the wolf took offense to those words. “Not literally, of course,” she quickly amended. “I want you, Bash. Only you and your wolf if he’ll have me. I want to wake up next to you. I want to go to sleep next to you. I want to be where you are. Whether it be here in the Ozarks, somewhere in California, or anywhere in the world. I want to explore the world with you or stay at home with you. You and only you. When I’m close to you, I can imagine I have a soul and it soars when I look at you. When I’m not with you, my heart feels like it’s stopped beating and is attempting to break into a thousand pieces.”

Emboldened now, the words flew out as easily as if someone had written them for the two of them. “I don’t know how you see us or if it’s possible, but I would like to try. What good is eternity if we do it alone?”

The same question her sister had whispered to her when they’d hugged good bye. What good was it?

“Even if we only have your lifetime, I’d rather have that than nothing. I’m tired. I’m tired of being alone and tired of being afraid of losing.”

Step by step, she moved closer and closer until she could reach up and gently pull a twig from a massive curl. “I was scared. I am scared, but I can’t keep living in that state. You asked me before why I acted, why it was so important to me. It’s because it’s the one place I can safely let all my emotions play out. It’s safe,” Ravyn stressed, watching his face intently.

Does he understand?

“I can’t suppress all my emotions, but when I get in front of the camera and become someone else, I can let it all out and then once the camera is off shut it all off again. And yes, yes, hide away from reality.”

Sebastian’s eyes flickered over her face, examining her for the truth in her words.

They were truthful. The most truthful she’d been in centuries.

Roughly, he admitted, “I’m not the easiest either.”

“We can practice together; we can learn together,” Ravyn volunteered, refusing to plead and refusing to let her pounding heart feel relief at his words. Was he going to let her down gently? Or what? A flicker of hope took hold in her heart despite her attempt to await his declaration.

“I’m not perfect.” Another low growl emanated from his chest, as if his wolf agreed with his words.

“Neither am I,” Ravyn promptly agreed, placing a gentle hand on his chest, where his wolf hummed in approval from her words and touch, flooding her with comfort and love.

If only the man would agree.

“You are so beautiful. The first time I saw you, you took my breath away.” Sebastian pulled away, looking her earnestly in the eyes.

Strong, rough hands circled her waist, lifting her up to his nodding face.

Wrapping her arms around his neck, she lifted her chin to look him in the eyes. “Are we doing this?” she questioned softly, ready to say the words.

His low laugh reverberated through him as he nodded. “Yes, I think we’re doing this.” He hitched her up closer.

“Wait,” holding his face in her hands to forced him to look straight into her eyes. “With no battle adrenaline or off the high of feeling you on my body, I need you to know. I. Love. You. Now and forever. I go where you go.”

She wrapped her legs around him as he lowered his mouth to hers, and his wolf rumbled contently against her chest. “Princess, I love you with all my heart and soul. I will spend the rest of my days showing you all the ways I love you.”