Chapter Twenty-Four

Though he chases the moonlight he cannot catch the beams

T aking a deep breath, Sebastian inhaled the fresh, clean scent of the Missouri forest. The mixture of crisp pine mixed with a melody of clean grass, fauna, and sunshine enveloped his senses, even extracting a contented sigh from his currently quiet and moody wolf.

Home.

He was home now. Relief as well as trepidation filled him. His sister-in-law, after her initial tears and panic, had been relieved that her son hadn’t been more severely injured or worse. Over the phone, she’d assured Bash that she didn’t blame him, but that could have been a mother’s way of ensuring he let his guard down before ripping his throat out for endangering her pup.

Closing his eyes, he let the sunlight dance on his skin as he inhaled deeply, embracing the scents of home quite possibly for the last time if Sara decided to cut his head off. While it felt and smelled like home, something seemed off. He’d thought when he arrived here he would feel more. Something more. It was home, but not quite home anymore.

“Uncle Bash!” a twin symphony of voices screamed shrilly, breaking the quiet of the moment, accompanied by the sounds of two sets of feet running toward him, kicking the rust-brown and yellow leaves out of their way.

Bash barely got his arms out before their furious launch into the air toward him. The boy shifted in the leap to gain an advantage over his sister, hitting Bash’s chest with the force of four paws and a mix of fluff and muscle. Instantly following was the blond head of his slightly smaller sister, whose arms wrapped around Bash’s neck, squeezing it tight before peppering the side of his face with tiny kisses. Similarly, her twin’s nose butted happily against the other side of his face along with the lapping of a minuscule tongue.

Sebastian’s trepidation left him as the twins’ joy reflected through him and he carefully returned their exuberant greetings. Surely their mother wouldn’t have allowed her eight-year-olds to greet him if she planned his demise?

“Hey,” Toby said sharply, “what am I? Roasted vegetables? And here I’m the one that got injured.” He waved his healed hand in the air, enticing his siblings with his scars.

Both twins, still in the same form, squirmed to be let down. Sebastian managed one last squeeze of each of them before they hit the ground running. This time, Penelope crouched down to grab her twin’s pants that had been carelessly left on the ground after his shift. Vin had already lunged into his big brother’s arms, peppering him with puppy kisses before turning a reproachful eye to his sister, who now was swinging his pants above her head.

“Don’t you dare shift on me, Vin,” Toby warned his brother.

The pup let out a sharp bark toward his sister, who innocently flipped the pants into the air with a tiny giggle, tossing her blond curls back as she taunted him.

“Pen, leave your brother alone. Our new friend will think you were raised by animals.” Sara’s soft voice drew the small groups attention once again.

Bash became aware of Kai silently gaping at the display before him, quite possibly wondering what he’d gotten into when he agreed to visit the pack.

Nodding toward the quiet young man taking it all in, she formally added, “Kai, I welcome you to our land, our pack, and my home.” With a nod toward Bash, she added less formally, “I’m the big idiot’s sister-in-law, Sara. And all these hoodlums belong to me.”

“Sara of Missouri, I thank you for your welcome.” Kai displayed the same solemn vow to Sara. “I thank you for your family’s sacrifice and help.”

Toby let a wiggling Vincent hop back to the ground, before slapping Kai on the back and moving toward his mother. “Ma,” he began with a laugh before wrapping his arms around her waist, picking her up to twirl her around. “I’m home.”

With a laugh, Sara agreed, “I see that! And what have they been feeding you in California? You’ve grown like a sapling, but you’re nearly skin and bones.” Patting his broad shoulders, she added, “Thankfully, I have a few things prepared for you all.”

Despite her cheerful words, Bash could still hear the tremble of fear in her voice—a fear he’d placed there by his poor choices.

Gently placing his mother back to the ground, Toby urged Kai forward. “That’s our sign to eat.” The entire trip across the country, Toby had described all the wonderful food his mom was sure to cook for the returning heroes. And while he certainly hadn’t missed many meals over the last few months, Kai had, and he absolutely deserved the finest Sara could offer.

“I’m going to run for a bit.” As happy as he was to see the rest of his family, Bash had been pent up. Now that they were home, his wolf was eager to take advantage of it, especially after months of only being allowed out during the mandatory full moon runs.

Not letting go of her oldest son’s waist, Sara nodded with understanding and sorrow. “Your cabin down by the river has been aired out and freshened up. You’re welcome to take meals here in your own time, but your fridge has a few goodies in it.” Sara had prepared for him to come. To stay. Despite her fear and her anger, she still welcomed him and at the same time foresaw his need for quiet and a chance to unwind however he needed to.

Guilt flooded Sebastian. The feeling was constant in his gut now. He’d caused the fear to return to her eyes, and James would hate that they’d caused his mate so much fear and sorrow. Her children were what kept her going after the loss of her mate. It had taken so much to bring her back from the edge after his death, and Bash knew without a doubt that Toby’s injuries had caused all the old feelings to resurface. If something happened to one of her children, she might not make it back.

“Let’s get you all fed,” Sara repeated, drawing Kai forward with her free arm. Bash could see she was fighting the urge to mother her young wolf, but she clearly planned to make certain Kai received some of the mothering he’d missed out on.

Bash carefully untangled Penelope from her battle with her brother’s pants and with a yippy howl, she ran back in the direction of the house with her brother on her heels.

Sara hesitated, drawing back from the boys. “Go on, I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Ma,” Toby began warningly.

“Go on, your uncle is safe with me.”

Bash stuck his hands in his pockets, steeling himself for what was to come. Regardless of what she’d told Toby, he deserved whatever punishment she was preparing to dole out. “I’m sorry...”

Sara looked up at him curiously. “Enough of that. I’ve tried for years to figure you out. To figure out why after James... left... you didn’t come home. Why you avoided me and the kids. I thought sending Toby to you might help you find your place again.” Shaking her head sadly, she continued, “But you don’t think you deserve a place with us. James would never have—”

“James should’ve lived; Fenrir took the wrong brother,” Bash bit off, avoiding her sad scrutiny. “He was needed here.”

“That’s not how it works and you know it. And to think you know better than the gods? It was time for James to go, whether we wanted him to or not. You can’t continue blaming yourself for things outside of your control. You’re not responsible for everything that happens.” Sara punctuated the last words with repeated sharp fingers to his chest. “The children may not have a father, but they have a mother. They may not have a father, but they have an uncle. A pack. A family.”

Bash looked toward the heavens as if they might contain the answers he needed, the words to convince her that he wasn’t a good substitute for James.

Shaking her head sadly, she added, “We all loved him, but he would have wanted us to keep living. He would have wanted you to find your mate, find your happiness. No, maybe you don’t deserve that, but then none of us do if we’re going by your morality code. Don’t die before you’re dead.”

Sebastian had no words and silently watched her retreat back into the house to her family.

It was time to run. Time to forget.