9. Dex

9

DEX

Austin is in his tune-out-the-world mode at dinner, which is fine, especially with people you feel comfortable around. Others might see it as rude, but I think it's endearing how he can so easily slip into fictional worlds.

As people finish eating, it's the perfect opportunity to follow up on our text conversation from earlier in the day. I know he was frustrated at the time, so he's likely over it by now.

"Hey." I tap his knee under the table. "Everything all right?"

He looks up from the page he's reading. "Yeah, of course."

Well, that's a non-response if I ever heard one. "Were you serious earlier?"

"At the time, I was. But now it just sounds dumb."

"It's not dumb. You have little experience, and I have plenty enough to share."

I'll admit, when he'd first blurted it out, I wasn't sure it was a good plan, given how much I've fucked up in the past. But I could also hear his exasperation—or maybe desperation is the better word. It made me feel for him and want to immediately help remedy the situation. Even if I do screw up again. At least this time, it wasn't my bright idea.

"Except you never close the deal emotionally, only physically."

"Well, you gotta start somewhere. Maybe I could learn a thing or two in the process," I huff out. "But you started it by bringing up Dildo Baggins."

"Jesus Christ." He averts his eyes as if to double-check no one is listening. "I don't even know how I meant the whole teaching thing. I've watched you flirt and get numbers plenty of times, and I've never learned through osmosis."

"True." I think back to what I witnessed when I first walked in. "You're perfectly capable of having conversations with Angelica's friends. It's not much different."

He rolls his eyes. "It's easier with girls because I'm gay. It's some of the guys I struggle with."

"Well, I'm a guy, and you're comfortable with me," I point out.

"That's different."

I hitch a shoulder. "It doesn't have to be."

He scrunches his face. "I don't…want things from you."

My stomach constricts. "Gee, thanks."

"You know what I mean." He playfully shoves me. "I'm not secretly longing for you to look my way or talk to me. Unless you're ignoring me for some stupid reason."

I laugh. "Right, same. No more being mad at me."

"I can't help it when you put me in awkward situations with hot guys."

"No need to keep putting me on blast. I promised not to do that anymore." I take a breath. "Right now, I'm only focusing on you and me."

I certainly don't want to disappoint him again. And what if I can't even pull that off? Somehow, when it comes to my best friend, I'm messing up a lot lately. He just means so much to me. So maybe I can think of a few ways to get him to feel more confident, like when he was playing darts at the party or just now talking about romance books with Luna.

One by one, the tables begin to clear because this guy Chase and some other theater majors are about to film a livestream about college life for a class project, and it sucks to have to be quiet. But it's kind of cool to watch too. I whisper to Milo that I'll meet him back at the house and then wait for Austin to throw away his leftovers before walking out with him.

"What exactly are you proposing?" Austin asks as we head toward the dorm.

I swallow the boulder in my throat. "Practice on me."

"Get the hell out!" He places his face in his hands. "I don't think I can do that."

"Sure you can." I glance at the empty walkway. "How about right now? No one's around. Just pretend for one minute…"

"What do you want me to pretend?"

"That we just met at a bar or a party."

He stills as if I just asked him to streak naked or something.

"Okay, I'll go first, then." I clear my throat, sidle up to him, and think of the cheesiest pickup line. "Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be fine print."

Austin guffaws. "Does that really work for you?"

"It works for a laugh. You couldn't help yourself." I nudge his shoulder. "Try it."

He grows silent as he thinks it through, then pumps his eyebrows for effect. "Know what my shirt's made of? Total boyfriend material."

I burst out laughing because it's as ridiculous as my one-liner.

"See? It's good for comic relief."

He shakes his head. "Except knowing me, I'd flub the line and say something like, ‘ Do you play baseball because you look like a keeper! '"

I stare at him. "I don't get it."

"See? It was supposed to be a reference to soccer, not baseball. You know—goalkeeper?"

"Oooh, right." I snicker. "We can work on your delivery."

"I don't see how it could possibly work." He chews on his bottom lip. "Like I said, I'm already comfortable with you."

I look off into the distance, racking my brain about how this should go down. Maybe he's right and it's a dumb idea.

"Okay, new plan." I keep my lips in a neat, straight line. "Do you like raisins?"

His brow furrows. "No, why?"

"How about a date? Get it? Raisins and dates."

When he scrunches his nose, I say, "Okay, bad pickup line. Let me try again. Do you know Jason from the LGBTQ+ club?" He shakes his head, and I realize I have way more exposure to the happenings around campus. This is due in part to participating in student government as well as being more social in general, sometimes even dropping into the LGBTQ+ association lounge area, where the club was formed. "Anyway, he said there's a bonfire on the beach Friday night, and I'd like you to be my date. I'll pick you up at seven sharp."

"Like a pretend date? To help me…what? Practice?" He sputters at the suggestion. "What if we laugh at the ridiculousness of it the entire time?"

"Then at least we'll have fun." I shrug. "It won't hurt to give it a try."

"Wouldn't you rather it be somewhere people don't know us?"

Actually, I think it'll be more comfortable for Austin to attend something being run by the campus alliance.

"Nobody has to know what we're up to." We're together so much that it's doubtful anyone would bat an eye. Still, Austin just stands there, blinking at me. "Why do you still look unconvinced?"

"I wouldn't want to cramp your style, especially at a party." He winces. "You might give up the chance of a good hookup for me."

"You're more important than a hookup."

His cheeks stripe pink. "Aw, see? You can say schmoopy things."

I feel a strange twinge in my gut. "Only with you."

He averts his gaze. "Well, I'm not sure I'd return the favor. If a guy even gave me the time of day, I'd drop you like a hot potato."

I laugh. "Now we're talking. More of that confidence. And wear those nice new clothes."

His lip quirks. "You're just trying to get on my mom's good side."

"Always." I wink. "And your parents love me for it."

His mom and stepdad are awesome and have always been supportive of our friendship. Our moms even chatted a handful of times at school events. I always wished my mother could find a good guy like Mrs. Reid has instead of always choosing awful men.

"Don't I know it," Austin mutters. "You've charmed the pants off them. Okay, ew, that didn't sound right."

I chuckle as I reach out my hand. "Do we have a deal, Austin Reid?"

He only hesitates briefly before he takes my hand. "Deal, Daniel Exon."

I hum happily to myself all the way back to Poli House. Why do I feel super excited about this? Maybe because I've tried to convince Austin for so long that he deserves guys fawning over him, and now I sort of get to show him what it might feel like in my own way.