11

That night, Sol jolts from Yohan's touch and finds that he does not want him in his usual, carnal manner. And Yohan tells him it is okay. And they make love in other ways; reading books together beneath candlelight, Yohan and Sol embrace each other in bed for hours. Being away from the knight was painful—even if it was only minutes—it seems Yohan felt the same.

They had both wandered this world alone for too many a year, that now, after finding minute ways into each other's hearts, it is hard to let go. Yohan kisses Sol's eyelid. As his palm cups Sol's jaw, Sol presses their bodies so closely together that he isn't sure where he begins, and where Yohan ends, anymore.

The warmth of their hands find one another. The room glows a deep orange. Artificial firefly light casts gnawing shadows across their skins. "I never thought I would meet you,"

Sol whispers, and Yohan holds him closer—closest. He does not know why he wants to cry. "It was hard to believe you were real."

Yohan takes his lips, mouthing little I love you s as they kiss.

Sol remembers a world without his lover and wonders, if it ever existed, in the end. When Sol would pray for the Riders to take him away, when Yohan would drink brews cooked with herbs prepared lands away by Sol.

E verything has led me to here—to him, Sol thinks and perhaps, it is true. Perhaps, it was fate. That gravity had pulled them together from the day they first stepped into this world unknowing, destined to meet.

Destined for each other.

He breathes in the scent of him as the crickets sing outside. "Yohan,"

indeed, the name feels familiar on Sol's lips, in the way that the sun does on one's skin in the summer. "I don't think we were ever alone,"

he mumbles, half-asleep, half-awake as he wraps his arm tighter around the man that he loves.

"I think… that we were always here."

* * *

One day it is raining on a Sunday. The curtain of dew drops that pepper the windows makes Sol feel as if he is underwater, hugged by the ocean and held by its waves: he imagines, that if he looks hard enough, he may see a fish swim by the wet glass panes.

A pleasant aroma of pancakes wafts through the kitchen air.

Yohan is cooking; minutes ago he lit a lantern that now rests atop the kitchen counter, and Sol watches with warm fondness in his heart as his knight loses himself to the task. Yohan had risen early in the morning, then sweetly kissed Sol back to sleep when he'd stirred, worried—the knight had reassured him, said there was nothing to worry about, "I merely want to try a new brew with the ingredients we found last week, my love."

Now, Sol wonders how early in the morning that was exactly, for he cannot remember having seen the sun, then. He has realized over these past few months living with Yohan, that the knight tends to rise early, even when the two of them have nowhere to be but home.

Is this how he has always been?

Or was the habit forged from his life's many demands?

Sol thinks, that he will have to ask him later.

As Yohan flips his final pancake that lands with a modest thud and a sizzle against the dark pan, he huffs with a proud exclamation. "There!"

He smirks as he stares down at his very appetizing work. "All done."

He serves Sol a most delicious breakfast, and beneath the table Sol rubs the back of his foot up Yohan's leg as he reaches for the knight's hand, he gives it a squeeze between his fingers. "Thank you,"

he tells his lover with a grin and a palate full of joy, "this is really great."

Sol sighs as he observes Yohan with fond love in his gaze. "There isn't one thing that you make that I don't enjoy, Yohan."

Outside, the rainfall grows heavier; so do the drops falling against the windowpanes. Yohan's shy laughter fills the room with a lightness that lifts Sol's heart, and the two talk about their days, how they wish to spend their future summers and winters, and reflect on how tired they have been. "I can't wait for us both to have a break,"

Yohan tells Sol with the most sincere of smiles as he pours Sol a fresh cup of tea.

Sol stretches his arms to the ceiling, he turns his head then looks out the window to the wet, cold hibernating world. He chuckles. "That makes two of us, then."

The taste of Yohan's newest brew is as sweet as the knight's lips, once he and Sol share another kiss together across the table. "When the weather is warmer,"

Yohan whispers as he stares at Sol through half-lidded eyes, "I'd like to show you something."

"Oh?"

Sol nudges at his leg again with a snicker; he rubs their noses together. "What else could you possibly surprise me with, Yohan?"

"Fields full of sunflowers,"

Yohan tells him, "each the more golden than the last—it would be lovely if you saw them, at least once, we could go on our way home."

We . Home. Sol's heart is giddy when he hears the words and thinks about the concept of them. Their house. Their journey. Their world.

He takes another sip of Yohan's brew. "I'd love that,"

Sol tells Yohan with a hand rested above the knight's knuckles, a smile.

It is true, he very much is looking forward to it.

He can already imagine himself laying amid the fields by Yohan's side, under the warmth of the sun, into the warmth of his arms.

The conversations moves then shifts, it is not long before they find themselves in the midst of making plans for a picnic before their inevitable departure. Sol didn't think it was possible, and yet that morning—as they talk and drink and laugh together over breakfast—he only falls harder for the man.

When they have finished with their meal, Sol rises from his seat. He walks on over to his knight. Yohan glances up at him from the table. And Sol lifts his knee then straddles Yohan's waist, until he is seated across the knight's lap. "Hi again,"

Sol whispers with a smile as he pushes Yohan's hair back, and kisses the knight's forehead.

Yohan leans forward—into him—until his fingers are pressed to Sol's waist. He glances up to Sol. "Hello, my heart."

He peppers kisses down Sol's neck, a low, lust-filled growl slips past his teeth. "Are you going to fuck me?"

Yohan's voice is softer than Sol expects, pliant, even.

There is a breath, and then two. Sol's fingers skitter up the knight's neck, he lets his palm rest against it, lets himself feel the stirring thuds of his lover's pulse. Sol leans in to trap the knight's lower lip, softly, into his mouth. "How badly do you want it?"

Yohan's panting falls, hot and heavy unto his skin. "I can show you—"

he gasps, and he undresses, without ever looking away from Sol's gaze; until he is bare, his cock erect in full and on display for Sol to admire, to devour .

A scarlet blush rushes to the knight's face, down his ears and shoulders.

Sol never realized his lover had such a vulnerable side—it is like seeing the moon after feeling the sun, and it only makes the wanting in his heart grow.

Sol's smile darkens. He runs nimble fingertips down Yohan's chest and watches as the knight shivers with clear anticipation. "I think…"

He brings his attention back to his lover's face. "I will—and, perhaps,"

Sol smirks, "I may fulfill your other requests , too."

And Yohan heaves in a heavy, weightful breath. " Sol. "

He shuts his eyes, his brows arch like his broad, pretty back has against the chair. " Please. I am mad for you."

Warmth blooms in Sol's chest. He rises to his feet, floorboards creak as he offers his palm up to the knight, and takes his fingers that tremble with the flutter of excitement; Yohan's skin is warm against his.

He leads Yohan atop the bed, urges him onto his stomach. A song of lust and wonder thumps then swells inside Sol's heart as he marvels at his lover's back. Yohan has obeyed him. Yohan is waiting— waiting, to be taken by Sol.

Across the bed.

Shaped like Sol's future.

And, Gods, is he perfect.

And, Gods, does Sol want to make love to him.

Oh, Gods, will he. Again. And again. And again.

Sol reaches into the bedside table for oils, his cock and harness.

He had delayed this because the world had been busy and so had his mind, but today he feels ready. Ready to try.

Sol undresses but only from the waist down, opting to keep his rather tight undershirt on after having discarded his tunic. He slips into the harness and feels it hug around his thighs. In an instant, the harness takes on the color of his skin like a chameleon, he can barely notice its presence anymore—and for once, when he looks downward, there is quiet peace in his mind.

Nothing feels wrong nor out of place anymore. "Oh."

Sol cannot help the small, soft gasp that leaves him. He had assumed he would feel mostly aroused whilst exploring this part of himself in this situation and its very context—yet, of all feelings there is to hold and grab onto, only one floods his mind: relief.

The feeling of wrongness he always carried on his shoulders is gone.

And then, Sol comes back to himself. He remembers what he was doing in the first place, when he catches a glimpse of Yohan's backside again. And it is there that his heart swells anew with yearning. Sol kisses him everywhere—from his shoulders down to his thighs, his arms, his calves.

He spills oil onto his fingers and massages gentle circles into Yohan's ass, his palm flat against the curve of the knight's plump backside. Yohan groans underneath him—Sol notices the way his lover grinds his hips, down onto the mattress—he loves the way Yohan sounds when he whimpers.

He cups Yohan's ass, then gives it a firm squeeze. "You're relaxed here. What did you do all morning long?"

He chuckles, and presses another slick finger to the front of Yohan's entrance. "Darling."

"Gods, Sol. "

Yohan hisses and trembles under him. "You know ."

Indeed, Sol does. It is not a hard guess, when he notices how loose Yohan already is. "Impatient, are you, dearest?" he coos.

"S-Sol—"

Sol is grateful to Yohan for giving him this much power willingly. It is a high Sol is riding like no other; he makes a silent promise to himself, that he will treat the knight to as much pleasure as he can grant him. He wants to show Yohan how loved he is.

"Yohan."

With his free hand, Sol's fingers trail down the knight's neck, they trace invisible paths across his shoulders, his elbows. "Relax."

Sol pushes two fingers into him, and Yohan squeezes around his knuckles—being inside his lover like this has Sol biting his own lip, Sol can feel the wetness of his own arousal dripping between his thighs, especially as Yohan's pulse thrums in rapid, restless thumps across his fingers.

The gradual intrusion finds Yohan moaning; Sol has never heard him make such a sound before—not like this. He hopes to hear it again.

He moves, and Yohan whimpers. "Sol, Gods. "

Yohan groans. " My darling ."

Sol finds himself wondering what this experience of being taken apart then put back together in mere seconds must be like for Yohan.

The knight who is finally letting go after holding on for so long, after never allowing himself to feel.

Well, Sol grins as he licks the underside of Yohan's chin, until tonight, that was.

He embraces Yohan from behind with his fingers still lodged deeply inside him, Sol rubs up against Yohan's sweetest spot and the knight's legs tremble then give. "Good boy,"

Sol whispers as he tries to soothe Yohan's heavy, hitching breaths, he kisses the back of Yohan's head, and Yohan grinds down against him. " Such a good boy. "

Yohan whimpers, he begs Sol for more and tenses around him again. "Please, Sol—"

The knight grits his teeth. "I'm close."

Upon hearing his lover's soft plea, Sol pauses to rub at Yohan's ass; he admires the way firm muscle gives under the press of his touch. "Are you sure?"

Yohan nods, and his shoulders tense ever so slightly. "I…"

Sol is paying attention to his every move, every subtle change to gauge his lover's discomfort, in hopes of finding none. "I took long enough to prepare this morning."

Sol heaves in a long drawn out breath. "Is that so."

The image of his lover sneaking away during the early morning hours to finger himself in the bathroom has Sol's sex burning with a throbbing heat.

Truly, Yohan will drive him mad one day.

Sol kisses the crown of Yohan's head again. "Yohan,"

he whispers, voice soft like feathers as he spills oil onto his cock then pumps. He dips his thumb atop Yohan's ample thighs then spreads the knight's ass.

"Yohan,"

Sol cannot help the smile that takes his lips as he speaks his lover's names and thinks about all that it means. "You're adorable, you know that?"

He presses himself to Yohan's entrance, and Yohan whimpers and moans around Sol's name.

"Is it good for you?"

Sol asks with a kiss buried in Yohan's shoulder.

Yohan's voice is slurred, all he provides is a nod and a small, quiet, "Please,"

and, "more…"

Sol threads his fingers through the knight's hair. Yohan squirms beneath him. "Yohan."

Sol thinks of all their early mornings spent together, the times during which they'd talk late into the nights, how Yohan's smile is always crooked when he gets too excited talking about tea. "Yohan."

He thinks of these past few weeks, all that Yohan has given him— all that Yohan has shown him —and he thrusts into him, dragging his cock against Yohan's insides, drawing moans each the more holy from his lover's lips. And Yohan gives himself to him again. And Sol's heart is full. He has never felt so whole. "Yohan,"

he echoes as he holds his lover close. "I love you."

I love you.

"You are all I need."

Yohan grinds his hips downward, he moves, tries to fit all of Sol's cock with a desperate needy hiccup.

Sol cannot take his eyes off him, it is like Yohan has cast a spell on him and he is transfixed, watching in lustful fascination as Yohan slowly devours all of him. He runs a finger down the knight's spine then embraces him tightly. "I wish to spend my life with you,"

the whispered confession leaves Sol before he can think. He isn't sure if Yohan hears, but it does not matter, for he knows his lover will understand him through touch if not words.

How Sol craves him.

How Sol holds him.

How Sol nibbles on his ear as Yohan reaches behind himself to grasp onto Sol's waist in an attempt to pull him even closer. Yohan tenses, his thighs trembling as he groans then comes, spilling hot milky seed all over the bed's mattress.

Outside, the wind rustles the trees and leaves that quiver like Sol's arms shake, when he embraces the knight dearly. Yohan has given himself to him in ways Sol will never forget— in truth, he always wanted this , to take a man in such ways.

He'd just needed permission.

Sol urges Yohan onto his back. The knight greets him— yielding —and Sol is drunk on the thrill. He kisses him until his lips hurt. There is something urgent welling inside him now that he has tasted this once, Sol can only think about doing it again. He wonders if it is the same for Yohan.

He rests his head against the knight's chest and listens to the deep thumping of his heart, until his mind is smothered with the sound of Yohan. As Sol leaves mellow caresses against his knight's skin, traces soft shapes across his nipples, Sol glances up to him. "How was that?"

"I—"

Yohan heaves in a breath, his eyes are wide, in the certain way when wonder takes one's face and leaves a man breathless. "I didn't want it to end."

"You're not the only one,"

Sol's voice is barely a mumble, he is still so aroused as he takes in Yohan's flushed features with a libidinous grin; the face his lover makes right after being taken is more than enough to light a fire in his belly. And Sol finds himself grinding his cock against Yohan's leg, until he feels enough pressure against his sex and whimpers, and gasps.

Soon, Yohan's lips are on his again, the knight's big hot palm gripping at his waist. Candlelight wax drips onto a silver plating nearby.

"Yohan,"

Sol breathes between a chuckle as their eyes meet, lidded, wanting. "Are you hard again?"

The knight mouths kisses across Sol's neck. And Sol relaxes under his touch. Yohan's breaths are like little comets, warming Sol's skin with a mystical burn, Sol feels like they are endless. And maybe he is right. "I'd thought about doing this for so long,"

Yohan finally tells him, "can you blame me, if I am a little excited?"

And Sol's eyes widen; it occurs to him that he is Yohan's first in this regard. Sol's voice grows a tad softer, he blinks, as if plunged into another reality that slowly unveils itself to him. "I'm sorry,"

he says, whilst he looks at him with mild regret bubbling in his gaze. "I wish… I could have taken more time with—"

But Yohan silences him with his lips. A smile. "I kept asking you to put it in, my love."

The low, rumble of his voice calms Sol. "It is all right. And,"

Yohan snickers. He raises his eyebrows playfully at Sol playfully. "We can always do this again, if you so wish."

Yohan cups the side of Sol's face and smiles. "Sol,"

he mumbles. "You are so precious to me."

He leans in, his lips brush against Sol's forehead. "I am enamored—with all of you."

Tears form crescent linings in the hollow of Sol's eyes, his lips quiver as they collide with Yohan's. "I am, too."

His brows raise with modest joy when he stares at Yohan with a lovely warmth growing inside his chest.

Yohan pulls Sol in like the tide, Sol's face is hot—but whether it is from Yohan's body heat or his own, he cannot say. "Would you like to?"

Yohan asks. "Put it in again, I mean."

Sol lets out a breath he hadn't known to be holding. He is relieved to find he has done a good enough job, that his lover is already coming back for more. Part of him was a tad nervous he would mess things up, or that this would not be as pleasurable for Yohan as he'd hoped. He did not want to let him down. "What position?"

Sol murmurs as he continues to lay across his lover's chest, he draws errant, lazy circles across Yohan's bicep.

"I could be on top."

Sol pauses for a moment.

On top… He gulps. It does not take him long to form an image in his mind of what that may look like. Yohan, grinding down on his cock from above? The mere eroticism of the idea has him blushing in an instant.

Yes, please, Sol thinks. "Um,"

he blurts awkwardly, overcome with lust from the newfound suggestion, a reddening blush rising to his ears. "I think that sounds lovely."

He doesn't know why he's trying to stay polite about it when the two of them have already seen almost, if not all of each other. And yet right now, it feels like Yohan is blessing him in more ways than one. Sol is overcome with the need to worship his lover like a deity of love.

"Ah."

Yohan parts his lips. "Truly?"

It is odd, that he seems surprised.

Sol furrows his brows. "Of course!"

He bats his eyelashes as he looks bashfully from the left to the right, until he finds the courage to glance at Yohan again. "Yohan, I'll be honest with you…"

Sol sighs. He gives Yohan's thigh a gentle rub, and kisses the knight on the cheek before moving closer to his ear. "I think you are perfect in every way,"

he whispers. " Gods , being inside you like that was thrilling, I—"

Sol grasps at Yohan's hand; and squeezes. "You arouse me to no end, Yohan. When I think of you my mind fills with yearning. You have lit a fire in me, and I… I can find no other way to put it other than…"

Sol pulls away to look him in the eye. "I want you." He smiles. "I want you , Yohan. Every part of you."

For a moment, Yohan does not move—it is as though he is too busy comprehending, feeling Sol's confession, to respond. Until another few seconds pass, and he threads their fingers together, then squeezes back. Yohan's eyes meet Sol's anew, and he returns his fond expression, his grin. "Then,"

Yohan says as his free palm finds Sol's jaw once more. "Why don't we use the potion this time?"

Sol gulps then nods, transfixed by Yohan who is now straddling his waist, grasping at the bottle that he pours onto Sol's cock with a carnal grin.

As Sol reaches for Yohan's waist, he thumbs at the knight's hipbone. He watches as Yohan lowers his ass atop the tip of his cock, hot feverish longing clouds his gaze. "You're so perfect like this,"

Sol whispers the words to his knight who writhes, his eyes rolling back as he slides himself on Sol's cock and threads their nimble trembling fingers together; Sol squeezes the space above Yohan's knuckles. "You're such a good, loving man."

Sol smiles, then chuckles when Yohan's cock twitches at the words, truly, he is divine. Sol's eyes briefly widen as he watches Yohan unravel on top of him like so. "You deserve all the pleasure I am giving you,"

he whispers to Yohan. "You deserve to be happy."

Yohan whimpers, as he grinds down against Sol, he leans forward to press a desperate kiss to Sol's lips—yet when Sol thrusts upwards, into him, the knight chokes around a moan and misses his mouth—his face burrows into Sol's shoulder instead.

Sol runs his fingers through the knight's hair and holds him closer. "My darling,"

he purrs. "Aren't you a good boy?"

"Ah— Sol! "

Yohan's knees tremble around him when he hears the sweet praise. "Y-You're—"

He groans then grinds down against Sol, his eyes wide with pleasure. "H-Hitting my—"

But when Sol reaches down to massage Yohan's cock, the only sound left across the knight's lips is a breathy gasp.

Sol rubs circles into the wet shine of Yohan's tip, his beloved's come sticks, slick across his fingers as he makes a fist around Yohan's cock then pumps him, slow. "You're doing so well, Yohan—so good for me."

Yohan whimpers, and Sol feels him tremble and feels, as though he has understood something about his lover today.

Though the knight so often shows Sol his bravest faces—at his core, he is merely a man who wanted to be held and vulnerable, yet hid away his heart, so that it would not be taken from him.

So that he could survive.

But they are not just surviving anymore.

And Sol intends to show him that.

"You're so hard, Yohan,"

Sol nibbles on Yohan's ear as he lowers his voice to a whisper, he asks the knight, "Are you going to come for me?"

His palm finds Yohan's spine that he traces with his fingers; Sol is losing his mind from having rendered his lover into this state of bliss, no greater flattery could exist than to see Yohan desperately writhing, impaled on his cock. "You're so pretty like this, Yohan."

And it seems that, too, is all the encouragement Yohan needs it seems, for soon the knight is thrusting into Sol's hand that still pumps him gently; the knight chants Sol's name ceaselessly hushed, like it is sin.

"My dearest love,"

Sol tells him when he deepens their embrace, " Yohan. "

As Sol continues to fuck his beloved through his orgasm, his palm finds the back of Yohan's neck. He whispers, "I love you."

And Yohan presses their noses together, he pants into Sol's parted lips. Their skins are sweat clad, hot. Sol smiles again. "I love you,"

he tells him, " so much. "

You've no idea.

Sol's eyes fill with wonder and fascination as the magic warms his own cock, he watches himself spill inside the knight. There is so much thick, white come—a lifetime's worth, even—it slips out of Yohan, down his thighs. "Oh, Gods , Sol."

Yohan leans down to cup Sol's face just like he does whenever they kiss in bed every night. His smile is languid, lustful. "You are so generous, my heart,"

he tells Sol, his words slurred between his teeth, as saliva drips down his lips. A lazy, soft chuckle leaves him, before he tilts his head to kiss Sol's cheek. "T-Thank you,"

Yohan's breaths quicken, his legs tremble again around Sol; he giggles again. "I feel so full, so loved by you."

The smile Yohan wears is crooked and quivering with desire, want as he stares down at Sol, his face flushed red.

As they kiss, Yohan raises himself up and pushes against his knees until Sol has slipped out of him. The knight falls onto the bed again, panting—now, the two of them lay flat beside one another on their backs, their heads turned towards the inside of the bed; Sol and Yohan grin as their gazes meet.

Yohan reaches for Sol's cock, he makes a palm around it then strokes him, softly, gently. "I love how you felt inside me,"

he tells Sol through hushed, breathless whispers. "Your cock is so lovely."

Sol thrusts into his palm on instinct. He cannot hold back the quiver in his lip upon hearing Yohan's praise. That his lover would want his cock like this… Sol hadn't imagined it would ever happen in his lifetime, he is feeling oddly emotional.

"Oh, look at you,"

Yohan tells him with another, soft smile as his attention drifts to Sol's cock. "A lot more's coming out."

Sol cannot help but follow the direction of his beloved's gaze. "I'm flattered, Sol."

It is true, the magic is still well in effect as thick white pearl spills from Sol's tip, onto Yohan's fingers. Sol knows he cannot feel it, and yet the sight finds him so incredibly aroused all the same, has his breaths quickening, his lips aquiver. Sol thrusts his hips upward again, into Yohan's palm. His mind is empty, ever so full of relief. How soothing it is, Sol thinks , to finally feel whole: to feel as if he , as if everything— everything —is where it should be.

Yohan rolls onto his side; he presses a kiss to Sol's forehead. " Gods , Sol,"

his hand rests against the back of Sol's head. He buries his face into the crook of Sol's shoulder. "I want to make you happy."

"You already do,"

Sol can't help but tear up as he embraces his knight, his savior, his love. "You do."

Truly, you do.