Tiernan Chapter 16

Fuck, I was screwing this up. I was trying to explain our past and present to Kynedi and doing a shit job of it. She was almost hysterical and trying to escape. I had her pinned to the goddamn bed for ar son Dé , God’s sake. I was losing her. The thought had me panicking. How had Darragh and the others convinced their women? None of them said it was this bad or hard. She was shaking beneath me.

“ Mo gra , my love, please, please don’t be afraid of me. I love you. I love Cass. I’d never hurt you or anyone like you. We’re protectors—hunters of the monsters in the world. We don’t go out randomly, becoming judge, jury, and executioner of people either. We have a code and rules.”

She was sobbing. I needed help. I fumbled to reach my cell phone. It was after midnight. I prayed I wouldn’t wake up the wives or kids, but I needed my family. I found our group text.

Me: Help. Told Kynedi about our past. I tried to explain. She’s terrified. I’m losing her. How did you tell your women?

I tried to soothe her as I waited for one of them to respond. The text went to every one of the guys. I had a group for the entire family, but I didn’t want to disturb everyone. If it became necessary to bring any of the women in on this, then I’d do it. I was in agony as she cried and shivered. She kept trying to make herself smaller, which I knew was her way of distancing herself from me. I was sick. A ding had me looking desperately at my phone screen.

Dar: I’ll be there in 5. Hang on.

Aidan: Me too.

Daid: We’re coming.

There were more, but I didn’t bother to read them.

“Shh, Kynedi, you have to calm down. You’re making yourself sick. You’re killing me. I’m sorry I scared you. I didn’t mean to. I’m clearly not explaining this right.” At a loss, I placed brief kisses on her shoulder, but she shrank away from them.

“Tiernan, where are you?” I heard Daid call from inside the house. I don’t know how much later it was. She’d eased her crying, but she wasn’t talking or looking at me.

“We’re in the bedroom. Hang on,” I called back.

“Kynedi, I need you to come out to the family room and talk. There’s help here who can explain it much better than I can.”

She shook her head.

“I’m not leaving you like this, and I’m not inviting anyone into our bedroom. Come on. Let’s get dressed and go out. You’re safe.”

“I want Cassius,” she whispered hoarsely.

“He’s asleep.”

“I don’t care! I want my son where I can see that he’s safe,” she said.

“I’ll make you a deal. Talk to us, and after we’re done, I’ll bring Cassius here if you still want me to. If he sees you like this, he’ll freak, Kynedi.”

She thought about what I said for several seconds, then nodded. As I eased off her, she sat up. “Who’s out there to talk?”

“ Daid .”

I got off the bed. She slid over and stood on the opposite side of the bed. She was unsteady. We’d gone to bed in our nightclothes, which was a short nightie for her and shorts for me. It was a habit with Cassius being in the house. She watched me warily. I went to the closet and grabbed a shirt for me and then into the other one to get her stuff to wear. When I came back, she was at the window staring out into the darkness.

“Kyn, here’s something to put on.”

“I need to use the bathroom. Put it on the bed.”

I did as she asked. She walked over, snatched them up, and then hurried into our bathroom. When the door closed behind her, I knew she’d locked it. I ran my hand through my hair and tugged on it in frustration. I’d royally fucked this up. If we couldn’t somehow convince her we weren’t a bunch of murdering animals, I’d lose them. If that happened, I’d never be able to stand it. I sent off a text as I waited for her.

Me: She’s getting dressed. She’s barely hanging on.

Daid: Just get her out here.

It was several minutes before she came out. She was pale, and her eyes were red. Her hair was pulled up in a hasty bun. She shied away when I walked toward her to take her hand. My heart hurt.

“Go ahead,” I said, waving her toward the door.

It wasn’t more than a short walk up a hall and then through to the family room, which was more relaxed than the living room. When we entered, she froze at the number of people standing there. They had been waiting silently for us. If I hadn’t been between her and the door, she would’ve run.

It wasn’t just Dar, Daid , and Aidan. Mam , Patrick, Sean, Maeve, and Brenda were with them, too.

“We asked the others not to come. This needed to be settled by us. Ashlynn and Riza would’ve been here, but they had to stay with the kids. I think it’s best if Cormac, Sean, and I start this conversation. After all, we’re the ones who were the most involved in our past lifestyle, rather than you boys,” Patrick said as he watched Kynedi closely.

“Kynedi, will you have a seat? We promise none of us is here to harm you. We want to explain. Tiernan loves you, and you’ve got him terrified he’s going to lose you. We don’t want that to happen,” Sean added softly. He gave her a tender look.

“What about what I want? Does that not matter?” was her hoarse reply.

“It matters very much. But you can’t make a decision without knowing all the facts. We want to give them to you and let you ask all the questions you want,” Darragh added.

“Honey, we know that you’re scared, and we don’t blame you. We’ve been in your shoes, sorta. We had to make the same choice, whether to be with our men or not. Except when we made our choices, they were a true Mafia family,” Mam told her.

“Come sit by us,” Maeve said as she patted the couch.

The three moms were seated while the guys were standing. Kynedi slowly went over and sat between Maeve and Mam . I wanted to be next to her, but that wasn’t the right move at the moment. The rest of us took seats on the loveseat and in chairs. We were all facing each other. Kynedi was twisting her hands and staring at the floor.

“Let me start since I was the head of the family when the kids were growing up and after our daid stepped down. It wasn’t long after we all found our forevers and had our first kids that we began to wish we lived differently. We’d known nothing else our entire lives. Our daid was a hard man, but he loved his family more than anything. He wanted us to be safe and able to care for ourselves. In his day, there weren’t a lot of ways to do that other than to be a criminal. He had no formal education or money, and he was a foreigner to most people here. We decided that wasn’t what we wanted for our children and grandchildren, so we worked in secret to change. We knew if we were caught, it was a death sentence for all of us from the other mobster families. We had to maintain our outer appearance of being hardcore mobsters while discreetly moving our money into legitimate businesses and making other changes,” Patrick stated.

“While we did it, we had to make sure that worse people than us didn’t find out and try to wipe us out or take over the things we were getting out of. We looked over our shoulders more than ever. It wasn’t easy or fast. It took years of meticulous planning and execution,” Sean added.

“Unfortunately, this meant that our sons and daughters had to be made strong and take part, to a degree, in getting us out of that world. It mainly fell to the boys to do it. They got their hands dirty and sometimes bloody, but it was all in the name of protecting the family and those too weak or without the resources to protect themselves. We’re not going to lie and say we’ve never beaten anyone, threatened someone, or even killed. We have. And when we meet our maker, we’ll have to stand and be judged for those. But there’s one thing we won’t do, and that’s deny we did it or why,” Daid told her.

“We’re not ashamed or regretful for all the drug dealers, murderers, rapists, pedophiles, and abusers we’ve eliminated. And we’ll continue to remove them. However, it’s not done impulsively or without the consent of all of us. We’re talking about people who’re like Bram Farr and worse,” Darragh said, causing her head to snap up.

“Bram?”

“Yeah, your ex. He not only beat you more than once, but he was preparing to sell his child to God knows what kind of people. If we had been around when that was discovered. If we knew you then, he wouldn’t be lying in prison, getting a cot and three hots a day, and who knows what else. He wouldn’t be a threat to you and Cassius, now,” Aidan hissed.

“A threat? How is he a threat? He’s behind bars.”

Darragh glanced over at me. “Tell her.” It wasn’t a request. He was speaking as the ceannaire an teagh laigh , the leader of the family.

She was finally making eye contact with me. “Tell me what, Tiernan?” she asked softly.

“We have proof that Farr’s lawyer is pushing for a mistrial. There’s evidence that some of the documentation you provided of his abuse and plans for Cassius was mishandled by the police. The chain of custody logs are incomplete. That’s enough to get his conviction overturned and declared a mistrial. If that happens, he’s free. He can come after you and Cassius. I’m not about to let that happen. A man like him won’t stop. You put him away. He’ll want revenge. So we’re going to prevent him from getting his revenge,” I told her boldly.

“They can do that? Just let him out?” she asked aghast.

“They can,” Dar said.

“How are you going to stop it?”

“As soon as he’s out, we’ll take care of him. He’s going to disappear and never be seen or heard from again. What you need to know is cosnaíonn an teacghlach an teaghlach i gcónaí , the family always protects the family,” I said grimly.

“You’ll kill him.”

“We will,” came from Daid .

“We know this is a lot to take in all at once, and it’s scary. When we first met Patrick, Sean, and Cormac, each of us knew who they were. It was widely known they were part of the Irish mob. And as much as we didn’t want to be associated with them, our attraction and then love made it a moot point. We couldn’t live without them, so we did our best to support them and steer them from the more heinous crimes, which we found out they weren’t doing anyway. When the time came, we helped get our family out from under it all,” Maeve added with a smile.

“And no one could love as hard as them or protect better. If you have to be afraid of someone, make it the animals and monsters out there who prey on the innocent and helpless. How many wear masks that fool so many every day? I bet you didn’t know what this Farr was like when you met him, did you?” Brenda asked.

“No,” Kynedi said.

After all of that was said, we sat there and waited for her to ask more questions. She was quiet for so long that I was ready to scream, get down on my knees, and beg her not to leave me. Finally, she broke the silence.

“How do you know the ones you go after deserve it? And how will you get rid of Bram? What’s to prevent others like Chris from coming after you? The four remaining families could gang up on you.”

“We have an extensive team of investigators who dig into every dark recess they can find to ferret out the information we need to make a final decision. If there’s doubt or we can’t reach a unanimous decision to proceed, then we don’t. It may be that we wait and watch until we get that definitive proof. As for how we plan to get rid of your ex, we’re not giving you the details. Even telling you this much is risky. We don’t want you to be dragged into a mess if something goes wrong. Just know, he’ll be gone,” I informed her.

“And the other Irish families?” she reminded me.

“We know for a fact that one of them will definitely side with us. This means even if Chris and the remaining ones join up, they can’t overtake us. We have more resources than they know. All the protective measures we take with the compound, guards, security systems, and more are not just to keep everyone safe from the paparazzi and crazies who are out in the world,” Darragh supplied.

She sat there mulling it over for a couple of minutes before she said more. “I need time to think this all through. I know that’s not what you want to hear, Tiernan, but you have to give it to me. I’m not just putting my life on the line here. Cassius has to be protected no matter what. I thank all of you for coming over in the middle of the night to explain. I appreciate it, but I think it’s time for me to lie down. I have a lot to digest and think over,” was her answer.

She got up and walked out of the room. I had to let her go while I saw everyone else out. They’d come through the tunnels and enter through the access by the dining room. They were going back the same way. As they opened the hidden door, Mam and Daid hugged me.

“As hard as it is, give her time to process. Answer her questions. Let her see you love her and are willing to give her time to think this through. If you push her, she’ll likely leave,” Daid warned me.

“It’s gonna be fucking hard not to, but I hear you. What if after she’s done thinking, she still wants to go?” I asked in fear.

“Then you have to let her go,” was his answer.

“I can’t live without them!” I protested.

“You let them go, but you keep them guarded and do everything you can to get her to see that she’s meant to be with you. I’m not suggesting you stalk her or anything, but you can still continue to plead your case,” Patrick interjected.

There were a few more murmurs of support and hugs before they left. I dragged myself to our bedroom. It wasn’t until I got there and saw it was empty that it hit me: she wouldn’t be sleeping with me in our bed. Turning around, I went to see where she was. I wasn’t planning to try and make her come back, but I needed to know she was still in the house. Luckily, I went to Cassius’s room first. I found the door locked. Sighing, I called out.

“Good night, I love you, Mo Chuisle,” I called out. I waited but didn’t hear a word in return.

I knew I wasn’t about to get much, if any, sleep tonight, so I sat down on the floor with my back to the wall. I had to stay close by in case she needed me. I closed my eyes and started to pray.