19. Derek

Derek leanedback in his rocking chair and stretched his legs out on the porch rail.

His phone kept chiming, a back and forth between his sisters in the group chat. They were planning their father's birthday but couldn't decide on the particulars. Derek didn't care what they decided, only what the final cost would be so he could get the money into Susan's bank account.He'd just fixed up and flipped an old Chevelle, so cost wouldn't be a problem.

Now he had his eye on a Jeep with a partially rebuilt transmission. If Briar was going to stay in Sweetwater, he needed reliable transportation.Whenever he imagined a clueless city boy like Briar stranded out in the middle of nowhere without a ride of his own, his blood ran cold. It was no hardship to see him in a reliable vehicle; Derek was surrounded by them. It definitely wasn"t because he wanted to see Briar"s face light up in that baffled sunshine smile.The smile that always looked happy but slightly perplexed, as if he couldn"t believe he deserved something good.

The distant hum of an engine interrupted the evening crickets.Derek cocked his head, listening intently.Traffic noise was rare this far up the mountain, and that wasn"t the distinctive roar of his neighbor"s HEMI engine.Headlights blinked in and out between the trees as a vehicle took the last few twists and turns up the sidewinder.Dusk had barely begun, but the winding road was perpetually gloomy from the surrounding forest.

Derek kicked his legs off the rail and ran a hand through his hair.It was still damp from his shower and too overgrown to arrange into anything presentable.He hadn't managed to scrub all the grease from beneath his fingernails, but he'd done his best.He'd even splashed on some of the nice-smelling aftershave Bethie had gifted him for Christmas two years ago.

An unmarked equipment van maneuvered its way into the clearing, gravel popping beneath the tires.Then Briar stepped out, and Derek"s mouth went dry. The play of uncertainty on his face plucked at something in Derek's chest.

"You comin' up?" he called from the porch.

Briar looked torn, like part of him wanted to climb back into the van and head down the mountain.Derek understood. It was the same impulse that had him tapping out and deleting his dinner invitation a dozen times before he finally sacked up enough to send it.They were in uncharted territory, playing a game that they both knew neither of them could win.It was enough to make any man take a few backward glances…and yet they couldn't seem to stop themselves.

Derek couldn"t leave him standing there alone.He was off the porch and covering the ground between them in a few steps, alert to any sign of retreat, any signal he was still frightened by Derek.But there was none.

A sheepish smile began to creep across Briar"s beautiful face, blooming full when Derek pulled him into his arms.Briar's head nestled perfectly into the cradle of his shoulder.Derek turned his face into the silky fluff of his hair, breathing deep.His warmth, his scent—the hint of expensive cologne—it all felt exotic and daring.He closed his eyes and breathed, grounding himself.Their time together couldn't last, but he was determined to commit every detail to memory while he had the chance.

"That's a warmer welcome than I expected," Briar said with a tiny laugh."Now I'm glad I wore my good jeans."

Derek held him at arm's length, taking in the skinny jeans and jewel blue shirt that sparkled against his fair complexion."You're looking…bright today," he complimented.

Briar struck a pose. "I was shooting for subtle," he teased, giving a tiny half-turn to show off the skin-tight denim.

"Subtle as a neon sign." Derek couldn't help but laugh at his sweet foolishness."Planning to light up the whole mountain?"

"Did it work?" Briar asked, leaning back and searching his face.

Derek caught him by the belt loop and tugged him closer, slipping his hands into Briar's back pockets and cupping his sinfully tight ass with both hands.

"Got my attention," he murmured, nuzzling the tender skin beneath Briar's earlobe.

Briar shivered, fingers clenching around Derek's biceps."Before we get ahead of ourselves, I should tell you something," he said reluctantly.

"What?" Derek asked, unconcerned, as he sucked a gentle mark into the delicate flesh of Briar's throat.

"Now, don't be mad…" Briar said hesitantly.

That caught Derek's attention.He lifted his head just as Briar reached out and opened the van's passenger door. A streak of black fur leaped out and shot around the yard like a missile.Sabbath rocketed in ecstatic circles, tongue lolling and ears flapping, kicking up swaths of dust and gravel in her wake.

"She missed you." Briar smirked, watching as the half-grown puppy shot-putted herself between Derek's legs before flipping over onto her back and writhing in joy."Can't say I blame her. I'd let you pet my belly too."

Derek glared at him. Undaunted, Briar simply waggled his eyebrows. With a reluctant sigh, Derek crouched and gave the puppy a good, hearty scratch, just the way she liked it.She wriggled happily, grinning all over her doggy face.His throat tightened.

"It's not that I don't love her," he said impulsively.

"I know." Briar didn"t say anything else.He didn"t push for more than Derek was willing to give; he only smiled gently when Derek looked up at him.

Time stopped, and Derek swore he felt himself fall.

Briar cleared his throat, breaking the moment, and retrieved a small cooler from the van."Now, let's get cooking."

Derek grunted and led him indoors on legs that felt strangely weak.

Sabbath darted past them and into the cabin, making a beeline for the corner where her old bed still sat.She sniffed and circled the cushion before settling down with a contented sigh.

Briar gave him a pointed look.Derek ignored it and purposely looked away.

"I brought some wine," Briar said, as if sensing he was pushing too hard."It sounded like you were having a busy day."

"Same old," Derek said, taking the cooler from him and setting it on the counter."Pulled apart an old skid loader, argued with my wholesale guy about prices.Sometimes it feels like I'm living in a loop—like Groundhog Day."

"Bill Murray became a genius by the end of that movie," Briar pointed out.He was opening and closing kitchen drawers, searching for a corkscrew."Are you trying to tell me something?"

"Nah. I'd be a lot further along on that Jung collection gathering dust on my bookshelf," Derek said wryly.

He watched Briar fumble in all the drawers and cabinets.There was something endearing about seeing him so out of his element.The kitchen in Briar"s apartment was a barren wasteland of dust bunnies and stale poptarts.

Derek loved the kitchen. It was the only place he was allowed to be creative.He'd designed it himself, from the sturdy hand-carved shelves to the cast-iron skillets hanging on the wall.He knew exactly where everything belonged, but even if he'd been a complete layman, he didn't think he'd ever look for a corkscrew in the warming drawer beneath the oven like Briar was doing.

"Looking for this?" Derek fished the corkscrew from a nearby drawer and dangled it in front of Briar's face, yanking it up over his head before he could grasp it."Ah-ah," he teased. "What are you going to give me for it?"

Briar's eyes were sparkling when he asked, "What do you want?"

Derek didn't need words. He hooked a finger inside the hem of Briar's shirt, twisted it, and used the leverage to pull him close and kiss him.Finally. His mouth was beautifully soft, but sweet and vaguely sticky, like he'd been using gloss again.

"You taste like pineapple," Derek murmured, licking the taste from his mouth.

"Is that bad?" Briar whispered, staring up at him from under his lashes.His eyes were hazy and dreamy-looking.Derek was so distracted by the pretty gray color that he momentarily forgot to answer.Briar had to repeat the question.

"Not bad," Derek said huskily."Nothing about you is bad. You're perfect."

Perfect for me.The thought was unbidden.Unwanted. But Derek knew himself well enough to recognize the ring of truth.

Briar was so pleased that he lifted up on his toes and kissed him again.Derek gathered him into his arms and leaned back against the counter, lingering over the kiss until Briar was limp and Derek was the only thing keeping him on his feet.Briar's eyes stayed closed when they parted, and Derek stole a moment to appreciate the spray of pale freckles he"d never noticed before.

"You're the first man to kiss me like that," Briar whispered, lashes fluttering open."Like it matters."

"You're the first man I've ever wanted to kiss," Derek admitted.

"That can't be true." Briar pulled back and searched his face."I mean, I know I'm irresistible, but there's no way you haven't at least thought about being with a man before."

Derek chuckled and tweaked his pert, adorably freckled nose."I thought about plenty," he said wryly, "but kissing wasn't part of it.Now, stop distracting me. Those steaks aren't going to cook themselves."

Briar wrinkled his nose in disgust, but he allowed Derek to reach around his neck and disentangle his arms.

"I don't think you should be allowed to call it steak," he pouted, watching as Derek set the meat on a cutting board and seasoned them with a practiced hand.

"Spoken like a city boy," Derek teased."C'mon. I'll teach you."

"Oh, you like it burnt?" Briar asked, crossing his arms.His tone was lighthearted, but Derek sensed his insecurity.He reached out and snagged Briar by one delicate wrist, tugging him forward to stand by his side.

"Anyone can cook," he said, giving him a reassuring squeeze."It's all in the details. Just pay attention and trust your gut."

"My gut usually tells me to order takeout," Briar said, flashing an impish grin.

Derek set an onion on a fresh cutting board and handed him a knife."Thin slices."

Briar hesitated, holding the knife awkwardly.He was so petite, the blade was nearly as big as his forearm."I think I'm more of the ‘watch and learn' type," he admitted.

Derek took pity on him and stepped behind him, covering Briar's slender hand with his larger one.He guided Briar's hand in an easy motion.

"Like this," he said, bending his head to murmur against the shell of Briar's ear."Just take it slow and steady until you get the hang of it."

"I'm trying," Briar saidbreathlessly.His weight shifted, as if he wanted to lean back against Derek but wasn"t sure heshould."You don't make it easy to goslow."

"I know." Dereksighed.

He knew they were talking about more thancooking, but he was desperate to gorge himself on every new experience while he had thechance.