10. Derek

The fight playedlike a looping film reel in Derek's head.

He saw Wade's fist moving in slow motion, directed at him—where it should be.Then Briar, coming out of nowhere and stepping right into the hit, followed by the sickening wet thud of knuckle striking flesh and bone.

Briar was so small that one single punch knocked him out cold.

That was all the provocation the Triple M"s cowboys needed to swarm, and the tavern devolved into a full brawl.The crowd surged in a sickening frenzy of sweat, booze, and violence.

Briar would have been trampled if Derek hadn"t scooped him into his arms and held him above the fray.He was so slim. So vulnerable.How had he managed to stay alive this long?Derek had no illusions about the world.It preyed on weakness. Wolves had been circling his family since he was old enough to remember, and the only thing that kept them at bay was being bigger and meaner than they were.Someone like Briar would never stand a chance.

He tucked Briar"s head against his neck, cradling his slender frame in his arms, and then grabbed his brother by the back of the collar and dragged them both outside.

"Hey!" West shouted, digging in his heels."What the hell do you think you"re doing?"

"Keeping you out of trouble," Derek replied, ignoring his resistance.

"Like hell!" West struggled harder, ripping out of his grasp and tearing the seams of his flannel in the process."You"re crazy if you think I"m leaving Michael alone in there!"

Derek grabbed him before he could take a single step, reeling him back in."He"d want me to take you home," he said flatly.

"He is my home, asshole!" West caught him in the ribs with a vicious elbow and shoved him away.His look of defiance struck Derek harder than the blow.Then he turned and headed back inside.

Derek steadied himself, ignoring the negligible pain in his ribs, and debated going after him.With a pack of cowboys at his side, West wasn"t in any real danger, and he could handle himself in a fight.Derek ought to know; he was the one who"d taught him.But watching out for him was a compulsion by this point, even if West hated him for it.

A lone siren had already begun to break the quiet, and Briar"s gentle breath against his throat called him back to his other purpose.

He unlocked his truck one-handed and settled Briar in the passenger seat, awkwardly arranging his limbs until they looked comfortable.

Then he got the hell out of there.

Derek had done a lot of things he wasn't proud of when he was a kid.Stripping stolen parts for Sutter and Wade wasn"t even the worst of it.The only reason he"d never been caught was because he knew how to cut and run at the first hint of trouble.

He gunned the engine, taking the familiar winding roads with enough speed to kick up a trail of dirt devils.Town faded in a blink, taking the light with it. The darkness of a backwoods night closed around them.A jackrabbit darted across the road, eyes glowing in the glare of his headlights.

Every so often, he glanced at Briar, slumped against the window.He looked so fragile. The curve of his neck was long and pale, almost delicate, with deep hollows by his collarbones.Derek had always found that spot on a man fascinating, but Briar"s collarbones were so thin they would have crumbled beneath Sutter"s fist.

He didn't think his heart started beating properly again until those big gray eyes fluttered open.

"Wha the…" Briar slurred, reaching up to clutch his wounded face.

His cheek had taken the brunt of the attack.The side of his face was swollen and flaming red, and a laceration oozed sluggishly above his left eye.

"Just sit back and relax," Derek said gruffly, ignoring the way Briar flinched in surprise."We"ll get you patched up. It"s not as bad as it probably feels."

"Oh, goodie." Briar"s words were muffled.

Derek barked out a grim laugh."Kid, if you're going to try playing hero, you need to learn how to take a punch."

"I know how to take a punch."

"Doesn't look like it from where I'm sitting."

"He just took me by surprise," Briar muttered defensively."Trust me, this isn't any big deal.I've been hit worse."

Derek's grip tightened on the steering wheel.He didn't know what kind of life Briar had lived back in the city, but it had been enough to give him the darty, nervous energy of a man always looking for an exit.All Derek wanted was to be locked in a dark room with whoever had taught him that response.Just five minutes; that's all he'd need.Maybe less.

"Where are we going?" Briar asked, finally clocking the lodgepole pines as they whizzed past in the dark."Just drop me at my apartment and I'll sleep it off."

"You lost consciousness," Derek said grimly."You can't be left alone."

"I'll call Nate to stay with me."

"You're a terrible liar," Derek said, shooting him a wry glance from the corner of his eye."Someone needs to watch you for the night.Unless you'd rather go to the hospital?"

Briar snorted and lifted a middle finger to express how he felt about that suggestion, and Derek smiled despite himself.He'd already clued in to how important it was to Briar to be seen as independent.He hated feeling helpless.

"So, you need someone to watch you," he said brusquely.

"It doesn't have to be you."

It shouldn't be him—for a lot of reasons.But the idea of turning Briar over to someone else didn't sit right with him.

"You want me to turn around and drive you to Nate's place?" he asked through his teeth.

"No." Briar managed a lopsided grin through the pain."You were right. I wasn"t going to call him.I guess I'll settle for bothering you…if you're offering.But it's really not necessary.I'm a big boy."

Derek scoffed.

"I'll prove it to you one day," Briar murmured wearily, resting his temple against the window and closing his eyes.

"Just stop doing dumb, impulsive shit," Derek growled.

Briar's lips twisted into a ghost of a smile."I've got a knack for that around you."

It wasn't long before the familiar outline of Derek's cabin materialized.It was a simple, one-story structure halfway up the side of Strawberry Mountain, far from town but close enough to the scrapyard that it wasn't a burden.It offered all the peace and quiet a man could want, something he'd desperately needed by the time he moved out of the cramped family farmhouse. The place was practically falling off its foundation when he bought it as a stupid teenager.He"d gutted it and shingled a new roof with his own two hands. The front porch was made from rough-hewn logs he'd carved himself, decorated at one end by two rocking chairs—even though only one had ever been sat in.A bare bulb swung in the breeze above the door, beckoning them with soft yellow light.

Derek cut the engine, and the noises of the mountain became louder.Noises that were hard to notice at first: the wind in the pines that sounded like the distant roar of the ocean, and the sporadic chirp of early-season crickets.Their music never failed to settle his nerves.He pitied Briar for having grown up without them.

He opened the door and offered a hand to help Briar out of the truck.

Briar hesitated a moment, then said with a tight laugh, "What a gentleman."

"You"re so short, you"d probably fall flat on your face climbing down even if your balance wasn"t shot."

Briar didn"t reply, and he didn"t protest when Derek kept a hand under his elbow and guided him up the porch.He wobbled on the first step but shrugged off Derek"s help as soon as he got onto an even surface.Then he just stood there, blinking in the sudden light of the cabin, as Derek flipped the switch and tossed his keys on a nearby coffee table.

A stone fireplace dominated one wall, with a modest kitchen adjacent to it.The living area was simple, accented by a rugged leather sofa and a coffee table stacked with books.A crate stuffed with muddy boots sat by the door, and a canvas jacket hung from a peg on the wall.There weren"t many knick-knacks, but he liked it that way.After growing up in a house busting at the seams with people, pets, and baubles, he cherished having so much unfilled space.A comfortable home—but solitary.

With gentle firmness, Derek hoisted Briar onto the granite island that separated the kitchen from the living area.His flesh was warm and solid beneath the thin fabric of his ridiculous shirt, and Derek"s fingers lingered a moment longer than he intended.

Briar met Derek"s gaze uncertainly.His eyes were confused and glassy, like the prettiest marbles Derek had ever seen.

"Stay still," he ordered, fetching a first aid kit from under the sink and wetting the corner of a clean dish towel.

His fingers felt huge and clumsy as he clasped Briar's chin and tipped his face toward the light, but he tried to be gentle when he dabbed at the crusted laceration beneath Briar's left eye.

Briar flinched, but he didn"t make a sound.He bit down hard on his lower lip instead, and Derek"s gaze dropped to his mouth.

"Don't," he said harshly, brushing his thumb over the tender flesh of Briar's lower lip.

Briar's mouth was shockingly soft beneath the thick callus of histhumb.It wasn"t at all what Derek had imagined a man"s mouth would feellike.Tempting. Derek couldn"t resist testing the pliancy with just a hint ofpressure.He pressed down on the cushion of his lower lip, watching, fascinated, as the succulent flesh sprang back intoshape.

He'd banished every longing he"d ever had for men years ago—the day West had come out to their parents. One look at his mother"s tear-streaked face, and Derek had understood that there was only room for one gay kid in their family. It didn"t matter that the porn West had been caught with that day had belonged to Derek.

But someone like Briar was so tempting. He was exactly what Derek used to dream about.Soft, exotic, vulnerable...but with a core of masculinity that bewitched him. He was small and gentle, but not feminine. Derek wasn"t worried about breaking him. And he would taste amazing.

Their faces were inches apart, so close that he could smell the bitter hops on Briar's breath. His lips trembled beneath Derek"s thumb.The air felt thick. Cloying. Like something was about to break.

Briar's eyes widened in panic just a fraction of a second before Derek leaned in to kiss him.But it was too late to stop.

He caught the puff of a gasp in his mouth and sealed it with his lips, cautious at first, then growing firmer when Briar didn"t protest.He clasped the back of Briar"s neck and held him in place, waiting until the resistance in Briar's body faded to pull him close. He kept his eyes closed. He didn"t want to see who he was kissing.He just wanted to feel again, to steal the little sips of breath from Briar"s lips and breathe them deep.Hold them there. It had been a brutally long time since he'd touched anyone, and never someone so lush, so giving.

Desire pounded through his body so fiercely that he felt like he was about to crack open.No matter how hard he tried, he couldn"t tamp down on it.Couldn"t control it—or himself.All he could do was slip his tongue inside Briar"s mouth to finally taste him.

Someone moaned. Maybe him.

God, it was him.

Horror crashed over him like a bucket of ice.He snapped back to reality with a sickening lurch, tearing himself away from Briar's pliant body through sheer force.But he didn't get far. Briar's fingers were still buried in the fabric of his shirt, clinging for dear life.Those pretty gray eyes, usually so playful, were foggy with confusion.He sat on the counter, shivering even though Derek knew his tight little body was blasting heat like a furnace.His lips were swollen and glossy, and he licked them nervously.

The motion caught Derek"s interest.Did Briar still taste him? Still want to?He should kiss him again, just to be sure.

He moved away before he could give in to temptation.

Briar watched him, wide-eyed and silent, fingers playing absently with his lips.Derek wished he would stop.

"I…fuck," Derek cursed. His voice was raw.He dragged his hands through his hair, but they came away damp with panic-sweat.The room was cool, but he was blazing hot.The tension was suffocating.

"Derek? Are you..." Briar began to look nervous.He slid off the island, wincing a little, and carefully edged around the counter to place it between them.

Derek"s hands itched to haul him back into his arms.He clenched them into fists at his sides instead.

Briar tracked the movement warily.

"Are you okay?" Briar asked tentatively.

Derek froze, full of regret and self-loathing.He ground his teeth and deliberately tucked his hands into his jeans pockets, doing his best to look unthreatening.He knew how it must look: a man like him, someone who looked like a cartoon henchman on his best day, bringing a small, openly gay man to an isolated cabin and then assaulting him.

"Don"t be scared," he said stiffly.

"I"m not," Briar lied.

"I won"t hurt you."

Briar frowned, looking insulted now."I know."

"I haven't…" Derek trailed off, searching for words that didn't make him sound like an awkward teenager."I've never kissed a man."

Briar blinked in surprise. He cocked his head and examined Derek, seeming to take stock of his size and age.Derek didn"t want to guess how flustered and defensive he looked right now.He"d never lost control like this before.

"Okay," Briar said hesitantly."So, this was…what? A momentary lapse of judgment?"

A muscle in Derek's jaw began to twitch."Yeah," he said, voice brittle, "something like that."

Briar's face twisted, but he must have forgotten about his injury because he immediately cupped his cheek like it hurt."So...what? Your dick got confused by a tight pair of jeans, and now you"ve got a case of het regret?"

Derek twitched, anxious to move his body but hyper-aware of how carefully Briar was watching his every move.It left him with no outlet, and his frustration boiled over.

"Maybe. You look enough like a girl," Derek sneered, cramming every drop of disdain he felt into his tone.

Briar's mouth dropped open. He stared wordlessly, lips moving like he was testing and discarding a dozen responses all at once.A berry-colored flush had begun to creep up his throat, contrasting prettily with his pale skin.He was glaring, but it only made Derek want to grab him and kiss him again.

"It was just a kiss," he insisted desperately.

"Just a kiss?" Briar's voice had begun to shake, but Derek couldn't begin to guess the emotion."What planet do you live on? That wasn"t just a kiss, Derek.You know it."

"You"re overreacting."

"And you"re an asshole!"

At least he wasn"t afraid of him anymore.

Derek shook his head. "Look," he said gruffly, "this isn"t the time.You're hurt. We need to deal with that first."

Briar's expression contorted with frustration.He glared for a long minute, but Derek just folded his arms across his chest and waited impassively.He"d raised four stubborn siblings; he could wait out anyone.

"Fine," Briar bit out, touching his swollen cheek with a grimace."But this conversation isn't over."

Derek let him have the last word.There was no harm in it. No matter what Briar thought, they would never finish this conversation.

He pretended not to notice the way Briar sought out his eyes as he mechanically swabbed the laceration on his brow.Applying a butterfly stitch without encountering his warm, smooth skin took some finesse, but he managed.

Briar looked down, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt while Derek closed the kit, washed his hands, and then retrieved a stack of freshly laundered linens from a cupboard.He began to make up the couch for him, saying brusquely, "Bathroom's down the hall, second door on your left.I'll be waking you up every two hours for a check.Holler if you need something."

Briar swallowed so hard that Derek could hear it from across the room.

"Thanks," Briar muttered grudgingly.

Derek didn"t bother responding.He retreated wordlessly into his bedroom, but even with the thick door separating them, he swore he could hear the gentle rustle of Briar sliding between the blankets.

He didn"t bother turning on the lights.He stood with his back against the door for what felt like an eternity, staring at the familiar shadows of his dark bedroom.The worn-out rugs on the wooden floor, the massive four-post bed, the cozy bedroom fireplace that always lay dormant—all of it mocked him.He'd built this home for two people, but that wasn"t ever going to happen now.Keeping his family alive had burned up all the best parts of him.He'd had nothing left to give long before Briar showed up in town.

It wasn"t Briar"s fault. He"d made the mistake of being too sweet, too appealing, too untouched by small-town bitterness.

And Derek was going to make him pay dearly for it.