Two Years Ago

Carys

I caress the green and yellow splotches under my breast and along my side. They’ll completely fade in a few days' time, but for now, they’re an ugly reminder of how I’ve disappointed my mate.

Mustard yellow and dirty-highlighter green.

Such bizarre colors.

Bruises start out such a bitter shade of purple, then they fade to a sad gray-ish blue, before turning green.

Why green?

My eyes drift to the bouquet of jasmine reflecting back to me in the mirror. The tall vase sits on my bedside table. Lazy white flowers spill over the side of the vase. The buds are small but fragrant. While I like the flowers just fine, I wish my mate would bring me something more colorful. I miss color.

Everything in this apartment is black and white, mixed with various shades of gray. The furniture, the walls, the carpet, and even the art. Everything .

I long for vibrant pinks and soft blues. I want to see a juicy shade of orange and wear a lavender-colored dress. I want….

My shameful thoughts make me bow my head.

It’s horrible of me not to appreciate the things I have. After all, I have a roof over my head, food in the kitchen, and a mate that would kill anyone who dared to look at me. My life is good. Even if it is black, white, and gray…. and purple and green , my evil mind reminds me of the bruises I frequently wear.

I curse that vicious voice, dropping my gaze to the thick gray carpet at my feet.

While it’s not easy being mated to such a strong and powerful alpha, that’s not an excuse to think such awful things. I’m thankful I only have one mate. Three or four would be nearly impossible!

I’m very lucky.

“That’s enough for today, Carys,” I say to myself, gathering up my long dark hair. I twist it, tying it in a very loose knot on the top of my head. I’d kill for a hair tie. “Time to start your day.” I nod at my reflection, then march out of the bedroom.

I get to work, scrubbing the kitchen tile with a paddle brush before sweeping, mopping, and hand-drying every inch. Then I vacuum, and brush the white carpet in the living room, making sure the criss-cross pattern is perfectly spaced. After starting my third load of laundry, I begin to panic. My mate will be home soon, and I still need to collect all the trash and start dinner. I can’t miss a single item on my to-do list. He’ll be so disappointed if I do.

I wish the apartment wasn’t so big. Its size is ridiculous given that it’s only me and my alpha that live here. On paper, we’re a pack of four, but really it’s only the two of us. My mate was never good at sharing his toys…at least that’s what he always says. It’s kind of sweet if you think about it. He likes to say that I’m too good to share.

Or I would be if I wasn’t so bad at cooking and cleaning.

I groan at the intrusive thought. Preston’s ugly words always seem to pop into my head at the worst moments. But I simply don’t have time for this today.

There’s too much to do.

Marching through the house, I collect the rubbish from all the bathrooms into a big black trash bag. I still haven’t started dinner, but I can’t think about that right now. I don’t want to panic.

Rushing to the front door, I wrap my hand around the doorknob, then I freeze. Alpha Judson is probably in the hallway. He always guards the front door during the day.

I glance down at my naked body, then groan. My life would be so much easier if I were allowed even a simple T-shirt, but it’s not my place to demand things. Clothes are a privilege that I haven’t earned yet.

Moving back through the house, I make my way into the living room. A black blanket drapes across the back of the bright white couch. I wrap the soft fabric right around my shoulders as I walk back to the door.

Sucking in a deep breath, I grip the doorknob, then open it a crack.

“Omega?” Judson's deep voice hits my ears as I peek into the hallway. I can’t see the alpha, but I can feel his presence on the other side of the doorway. My mate doesn't like me to be around other alphas, but there’s no helping it on trash days.

“I have the trash,” I whisper, eyeing the lone elevator across from me. It’s one of the few perks of living in the penthouse—we have a private elevator that requires a key-code, which means it only moves when my mate is on his way home. And right now a bright red 1 shines down at me.

“Let me take that for you.” Judson’s big body comes into view, and I immediately smile. He’s a stunning young alpha with short back hair and a tanned complexion. His dark brown eyes always sparkle when he sees me, and he smiles all the time.

I don’t talk to the alpha often, not since what happened with the last night guard. Preston beat him into a bloody pulp in this very hallway, threatening to slit his throat. After that, it took me months before I summoned the courage to speak a single word to Judson, but I’ve come to treasure these small moments with him. It’s dangerous, and something I know I shouldn't do, but I can’t help myself.

Perhaps I wouldn't be so lonely if I was allowed to watch TV or read a book.

“Thank you,” I whisper, pushing the bag through the crack in the door. I don’t want to open it any more than I have to. “Be careful.” I release the bag. “It’s heavy.”

“I’ve got it.” Judson chuckles and warmth spreads across my chest. He’s such a calming presence. Even his scent is soothing. It’s a mixture of cloves and cinnamon with a hint of vanilla. It reminds me of Christmas when I was a child. Cold winter wind, roaring fires, and roasting marshmallows.

“How has your day been?” Judson asks, cocking his signature sweet smile. His teeth are so white and straight. “Did you end up making that lasagna recipe last night?”

I immediately eye the number above the elevator. It still says 1 . I’ve got some time.

“No lasagna.” I give him an exaggerated frown. “I had too many chores and ended up making steak instead. It’s faster.”

“I bet you make a mean steak.” Judson leans against the wall next to the door. He’s a respectable distance from me, but I bet if I reached out my hand, I could touch him. “Your cooking always fills this hall with the most amazing aromas.” Judson hums as if he was smelling the food right now. “Makes me wish I could taste it just once.”

I return his friendly smile, enjoying the small conversation. “I’d love to cook for you.”

Judson’s smile grows as he leans into me. “Nothing would make me happier.” My lungs fill with his amazing scent. “I have dreams about your banana bread. It smells like heaven wafting through these halls.”

I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help but say, “Next time I make it, I’ll sneak you a piece.” A thrill cuts through me, and I giggle at the very idea of doing something so dangerous.

“I’m going to hold you to that, omega.” Judson says, narrowing his stunning eyes. “So what’s for dinner tonight?” He tilts his head, waiting patiently for me to answer.

“Pork chops,” I laugh when he gasps like it’s the most amazing thing I’ve ever said.

“I love pork chops.” Judson pats his firm tummy. I can tell from the cut of his button-up shirt that he has a very trim waist. Alphas are so lucky. They’re strong without having to really work for it. Omegas are weak. We have no ability to fight back.

Omegas just take abuse, unable to stop it.

I jerk at the odd thought, not sure what made me think that. Preston doesn’t abuse me. He teaches me. He loves me and wants only the best for me.

I am not abused, I silently repeat the words in my head, trying to force myself to actually believe them.

“What’s wrong?” Judson asks, worry etched between his brows. He’s young. Maybe mid-twenties, but he acts so much older than me. Fatherly? No. He’s not fatherly. He’s more like a friend. I miss having friends. “Carys,” he says, pulling me from my thoughts. “Please. Tell me what’s wrong, omega.”

“It’s nothing.” My smile grows tight. Forced.

“Don’t do that.” His voice is so soft and deep. Filled with sincere emotion. “I can see it in your eyes. You suddenly got very sad.” His gentle gaze drifts over my face. “What happened?”

I open my mouth, but I don't know what to say. So I drop my gaze and shake my head. Silence is always better than a lie.

“Look,” Judson’s voice deepens, more serious. “I want you to know that you’re safe with me.” He glances over his shoulder at the elevator. “And I will do whatever is necessary to keep you safe.” His dark eyes cut past me, into the apartment. “From anyone ,” he growls the last word, making it clear he means Preston.

Shock rips through me, followed quickly by something deep and raw. Gratitude? No. It’s more than that. It’s relief and fear and pure joy because someone can actually see my pain.

“You want to help me?” My voice is barely a whisper.

“I do.” Judson reaches over, brushing his fingers over my cheek, down to the edge of my jaw. His touch is so light. So…loving. “Please. Come with me.”

“Maybe—” The light above the elevator changes and my heart plummets. The 1 changes to a 2, then a 3. “I’m sorry!” I blurt out, then slam the door shut before Judson can get out a single word.

Panic rips through me, making my abs clench as I frantically race to the living room. My hands tremble, unable to properly fold the blanket.

“Focus,” I snarl at myself, trying to line the corners up perfectly. But before I can get the blanket in place, the front door opens, and ice-cold fear grips me.

I run.

Right as I round the corner, I see the blanket fall out of the corner of my eye. It slips and flutters, puddling on the living room floor.

I don’t have time to fix it. I have to be in my place. He’ll kill me if I’m not.

Trying to move as quietly as possible, I run on my tiptoes down the long hallway, going straight for the bedroom. Everything is exactly as it should be. The bed is perfectly made, every piece of furniture has been wiped down, and his clothes are hung up with exactly one and a half inches between each hanger. There’s nothing for him to be upset about…except for that dang blanket.

Maybe he won’t see it.

Coming to a stop at the foot of the bed, I lean over, resting my cheek on the black blanket. Then I arch my back, displaying myself the way my mate likes. Sometimes he ruts me when he gets home, but usually, he just examines the house, then releases me to finish his dinner.

Dinner….

I still haven’t started it. He’s going to be upset when it’s late.

I pray he’s more forgiving than last time.

A phantom pain cuts across my still bruised ribs, reminding me of what happens when I disappoint my mate. I hate feeling this way.

I’m just so tired.

“Carys?” Preston’s deep voice vibrates through the apartment, followed by his heavy footsteps. I can practically see him marching through the house, his tall, lanky body stiff with purpose.

I begin to relax, thinking he’s already passed the living room when intense displeasure pulses in our bond. Thick emotion pounds in my head, and I push my clenched fists to my chest.

“Omega,” he whispers as he enters the bedroom, and I swear the air in the room gets thicker.

“Alpha,” I say in the most cheerful voice I can muster. I wish I could see his face, but I don’t move a muscle, doing what I’ve been told. “I hope you had a wonderful day.” I force the words from my mouth. “I missed you terribly.”

His footsteps grow louder, coming to a stop just behind me. Our bond contracts painfully tight, his frustration shifting into hot anger, and I hold my breath. All I can think about is that cursed blanket. Lush black fabric, landing softly on the bright white carpet. It landed with barely a sound, and yet it was the loudest thing I had ever heard.

He saw it.

I know he did.

And he’s furious.

“You didn’t miss me.” His words slip into an angry growl, and my body tenses with the urge to run, but I can’t. He’ll hurt me worse if I do. And then that bizarre thought slips back into the front of my mind— Omegas just take abuse, unable to stop it.

“You left a mess in the living room.” He places the black throw right next to my head, and I squeeze my eyes shut tight.

“I’m s-sorry, sir,” I whisper, desperately wanting to run and hide in a nest, but I don’t have one. I’m not allowed. Bad omegas don’t get to have nests. “I was folding it when I heard the front door, and it?—”

“I don’t want to hear your fucking excuses!” he roars, making me flinch.

I wait, squeezing my eyes shut so tight, static buzzes behind my eyelids.

Silence fills the room, growing so loud it crackles in my ears. Then a gentle hand grazes my hip, and a whimper jerks from my throat.

“Don’t you dare fucking cry,” he growls softly as he leans over me. His big body covers mine completely, aggression pouring off of him in waves. His scent is so thick and sharp, reeking of pure fury. There was a time when his aroma was pleasing. I think he smelled of citrus and cedar, but I can’t really remember. “I could smell you in the fucking hallway.”

Judson .

My heart pounds, fear cutting straight to my bones. I pray he didn’t hurt my kind guard.

“I didn’t...” I shake my head, wishing like hell I could stand up and look him in the eye. But I’m not allowed to move. “I didn’t?—”

“Liar!” He barks with his mouth right at my ear, his sharp words cracking down on me. “I know for a fucking fact that you were talking to Judson. I could feel it in our bond. Laughing and flirting with the fucker. Do you suck his cock while I’m out working my fingers to the bone for you?”

“No!” A sob erupts from my throat, but I’m not scared of what he’ll do to me. It’s Judson that I’m worried about. Would my mate fire him? Beat him? Kill him? Either way, I’ll probably never see the friendly guard ever again. It’s probably for the best.

“You are mine , Carys.” He pushes his hips into my bare bottom. His belt is rough and cold, digging into my flesh. “Alphas were created to possess omegas. Not share them with lesser packmates ,” he spits the word as if it were poison. “You are mine!” He grabs a handful of my hair, pulling my chest off the bed.

My eyes fly open, fear pumping through every cell in my worn body. I wrap a hand around his wrist, trying to get him to release me, but it's useless. He’s too strong.

“Please,” I whisper, staring at the vase of cascading jasmine. The white petals look so soft, so pure. I hate them.

“Did he fuck you?” Preston jerks me, turning me to stand. His face is right in mine, angry and red. His dark hair hangs over his forehead, touching the corners of his hateful eyes. Those eyes have never held any kindness or love for me.

“Answer me!” he screams.

“N-never!” I cry, struggling to get my words out. But his sharp scent makes it difficult to breathe. “I would never!” Hot tears pour down my cheeks.

“I hope it was worth it, Carys ,” he hisses my name as if I’m beneath him. I guess I am. “Omegas are goddamn whores, not happy unless they’ve got a cock in every hole.” He jerks my hair, flinging me backward. I hit the floor with a heavy thud. Pain shoots up my hip, making me wince.

“I d-didn’t do anything.” I turn away from him, clawing at the carpet, trying to inch away from the enraged alpha. I’m so pathetic.

Omegas just take abuse, unable to stop it.

“Roll over.” He grabs my upper arm, shoving me onto my back. “Spread your legs.” He kicks out at my feet, forcing me to bare myself to him. “This pussy is mine . Every fucking inch of you belongs to me.” He lifts his foot, placing his expensive dress shoe right against my sex. It’s so degrading and gross. I hate him so much right now.

“P-please stop,” I stutter.

“Is that what you want, omega?” He presses his foot down, grinding the tip of his shoe against my clit. It’s painful, making my nose run and more tears pour. “Do you want to be another alpha’s whore?”

“N-no,” I sniffle through panting sobs.

His voice changes, deep and commanding, “Look at me, omega.”

My body instantly obeys and my head snaps up.

The alpha looking down at me is terrifying. His blue eyes narrow into angry slits and his upper lip is curled with disgust. I hate it when he looks at me like this.

“I’m sorry,” I say as loudly as I can, but my voice is still barely a whisper. “It w-won't happen again.”

“Stop your fucking crying,” he snarls down at me, speaking as if I were a speck of dirt. “Get up.” He removes his foot, taking a careful step back.

My knees shake as I force my body to rise to full height, readying myself for what’s going to happen next.

“You’re a shameful fucking mate,” he says, scanning the full length of my body. “I should lock you up with Judson’s rotting corpse. Maybe then you’d learn to follow the rules.”

The sudden image of Judson’s lifeless body rushes into the front of my mind. Swift emotion grips me as I picture his dull eyes and slack mouth, blood pouring from some invisible wound. My kind friend. Dead because of me.

“Please, Preston,” I whisper. I’m not allowed to say his name, but I don’t really care. “Please.” I raise my hands, reaching out to touch his chest. “You have to believe me. I’d never?—”

“Shut up!” he barks, slapping my hands away. “You are mine , Carys.” He grips a fist full of my hair, forcing my head back. A slight whimper slips from my mouth. I stare up into his hard blue eyes, praying for mercy. My prayers are never answered, but maybe just this once, someone will come and save me. “No one touches you but me. And if you continue to lie, I’ll march right back into that hallway, grab that fucker by the throat, and gut?—”

“You’re right!” My voice cracks. “It’s all my fault,” I speak softly, conceding to my mate’s dominance. “I opened the front door and spoke to him.” I lick my lips. They’re salty, covered in quickly drying tears. “I just wanted to talk for a bit, but Judson turned his back and told me to go away.”

Preston’s eyes narrow, thinking over his next steps. He wants to punish me—that’s clear—but if I can keep his attention on me, maybe he’ll be too tired to hurt anyone else.

“Is that so?” He jerks my hair hard, making my scalp pinch and burn. It feels as if he’s going to rip the skin right off of my skull. “No alpha would turn his back on a sloppy, naked omega.” He releases my hair, shoving me back onto the floor. “He needs to be taught a lesson.” Then he turns, walking to the bedroom door.

I scramble to get my feet under me, chasing after my enraged mate.

“No!” I scream, then jump, landing right on Preston’s back. “You can’t hurt him!” I slap and punch at the back of his head and the sides of his face.

“Get off of me!” he roars, grabbing my forearms. He jerks and I fly forward, slamming into the freshly polished floor. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” His eyes are wide as saucers and his face flushes bright red. I’ve only ever seen his skin this color once before, and it was right before he gave me the worst beating of my life. I thought he was going to kill me. But right now, I’d gladly take death if it meant he forgot about Judson.

“I wouldn't have to talk to other alphas if you weren’t such a horrible mate,” I snarl the shocking words as I slowly stand. I know I won’t be on my feet long, but I’ll fight for as long as I can.

“What the fuck did you just say?” Preston growls, taking a careful step toward me.

My body trembles forcefully, and my shoulders instinctively curl inward, but I stand firm, determined to save my friend.

“Judson didn’t do anything!” I yell, unable to stop myself. I don’t know where my sudden strength is coming from, but I’ve never felt stronger or more alive. “He didn’t talk to me or touch me or even think about me,” I snap. “He just stood there while I threw a bag of trash at him.”

Strong fingers wrap around my upper arm, squeezing tight. “Don’t you ever talk to me in that tone of voice ever again.” He pulls me closer, his nails digging into my sensitive skin. “Judson works for me. If I want to fire him, beat him, or even kill him. I will.”

Something like rage burns through me, and my body reacts.

I suck in a mighty breath.

Bring my free hand back.

Then I swing as hard as I can, slapping my mate across in the face.

Preston’s head jerks to one side, and I freeze, completely unable to move. My palm stings, but the pain is nothing compared to the crushing sensation in my chest.

“Carys.” Preston slowly turns his head back to me, his teeth flashing as he speaks slowly, “I want you to pause, look into my eyes, and understand me when I tell you that you are going to pay for that.”

And I believe him.