Chapter Thirty-Nine

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE

NOW PLAYING: SANCTUARY - Joji

Staring out the window of our hotel room, I study the city of Las Vegas far below. A city so busy it literally never sleeps. I could never live somewhere like this. My mind would never be able to settle in a place so filled with noise. Starburgh is a city, but it isn’t nearly as energetic as somewhere like Vegas or New York. There’s peace to be found in our little haven.

The thought of returning to our apartment there doesn’t sound appealing. My heart knows the space I once loved will be as empty as our bus without Omen by my side. Wherever my girl is, that’s where I belong.

My jaw still aches from my fight with Nebula, the bruises on my face and chest a dark bluish purple. I can’t stand seeing my reflection in the mirror. The reminder of how destroyed my pack is. I deserve the pain. Not for fighting with Nebula, but for abandoning my omega when she needed me. If I had known Neb would take drastic steps to cut her off, I never would have walked out of that hotel room.

Whispers in my mind remind me I could write to Omen using our connection and my mates would never know. I could reach out and apologize every day until she forgives me for walking away. But I can’t bring myself to pick up a pen. Not when I still have two weeks’ worth of shows left in our tour.

If I write to Omen now and she responds, I doubt I’d have the strength to stay away. I would leave everything behind in a heartbeat if it meant I could hold her again.

Shaking my head, I force my thoughts away from my girl. An idea sparked during my restless sleep this morning. The perfect way to let Omen know she’s on my mind without using our connection. I’m going to spend my days sending my girl food pics. Each one paired with a promise to return to these cities so she can try these restaurants, or new ones, with me.

Food is our love language, so I’m going to woo the shit out of her.

Stepping into the restaurant I’d seen recommended multiple times on a thread for the best restaurants in Vegas, I know this is somewhere my girl would love. Cushioned booths sit against a wall lined with neon signs shaped like different Japanese foods. The center of the room has tall tables with stools, and the wall by the kitchen holds a wooden counter for individual seating. The ceiling is covered in these adorable mini paper lantern string lights.

It’s moody and fun, and best of all it smells fucking delicious as soon as you walk in.

Linking my hand with Cal’s, I lead him to one of the tall tables off to the side, hoping to avoid the majority of the crowd while still being close to the door when we’re ready to leave.

“This place is cute,” my mate comments as he sits across from me. His dual-tone eyes study me, seeing deep into my soul and recognizing my ulterior motive. “You chose it because of Omen?” I nod, placing a drink order with our waitress before explaining my plan to win our girl’s forgiveness. “That’s a really sweet idea. She does love trying new foods.”

“Exactly!” I pull out my phone and show him the pictures I’d sent her earlier. “I went to this rustic taco place for lunch. Tijuana style is what their menu said. They were so good! Not as spicy as I think our girl would prefer, but she’d love the unique options they had for fillings! They even had cow tongue tacos! I wasn’t brave enough to try those though.”

“Cow tongue? I didn’t know people cooked them to eat.”

“Yeah, neither did I. I mean it wasn’t super surprising. If people will eat an animal’s brain, then why not its tongue?” I swiped to the next set of pictures. “After the taco place, I found this cute ice cream shop down the street. Omen isn’t big on sweets, but they had so many cool flavors I couldn’t pass it up! They even had a hot honey ice cream! She’d probably love that one! I got honey lavender though. Nothing spicy for me.”

Cal smiles sweetly, asking about the other flavors and restaurants I want to visit to share with our omega. His eyes are a little sad though, which I get. It would be better if she was here to enjoy this with us.

Scanning over the restaurant's menu, a giddy feeling bubbles up my chest when I see they have a kimchi carbonara dish. Omen would get that for sure. I think I’ll order their hot pot instead. I don’t want to burn my tongue off trying to eat something above my spice comfort level. I snap a picture of the menu, though, and edit it to highlight the pasta dish.

Sneaking a picture of Cal sitting across from me, I send both to Omen with a short note telling her about the cool place we found. I can’t wait to bring her back to Vegas and make new memories with her.

“Do you believe she will forgive us after everything that’s happened?” His question is quiet and full of uncertainty as he stares into his bowl of ramen.

I understand his hesitation. It would be too easy to believe this is the end. That my gorgeous girl will never forgive us and our crossed paths have finally forked. But I refuse to lose faith in Fate. “Omen is our destiny. I’m not going to give up on her. One day she will bear our bond marks and spend every night in our arms. I won’t accept anything else.”

Cal’s eyes raise, skepticism and adoration gleaming equally in the orbs. They can all have their doubts. I’ll prove I’m right one determined grovel session at a time.

The bus door opens quietly. From the corner of my eye, I watch Nebula walk up the steps. He’s carrying a paper gift bag in his hand. I don’t move or speak. Content to let him simmer in his anger. I won’t be apologizing this time.

I feel the cushions beside me dip as his weight settles on the other end of the couch. My feet brush against his side and I quickly pull them back. Our bond feels fragile, fractured from the stress of the distance between us.

“Nex,” he mutters my name sweetly. Deep voice filled with resignation and remorse. “I don’t know how to fix this. How to come to terms with who she is and what she is to us. I hate hurting you. Knowing my refusal to entertain the thought of her as our omega is causing you pain destroys me. I don’t want to be the villain in your story.”

A sigh falls from my lips at his admission. I recognize the situation we’ve found ourselves in is extremely complex. A labyrinth we’re forced to navigate with no knowledge of what awaits us at its center. “I never expected you to just accept Omen as ours, Nebula. I’m not naive enough to think things would ever be so simple. I only want you to give her a chance to explain. To listen instead of allowing your anger to blind you.”

“I’m starting to get that.” His shoulders slump, his eyes trained on the bag he’s slowly twirling in his hands. “I lost everything when Elizabeth died. My sister and best friend, my parents. She was gone and I was suddenly alone. Then I presented and those feelings intensified. I lashed out at the world, endangered myself and everyone around me. Being shipped to the Alpha Academy didn’t help, at least not at first. Not until I met you.”

I remember the wreckage Elizabeth’s death had caused in my alpha mate. When we met, he was filled with rage. A broken, lonely teenager. Angry at the world with no one to love. It took months of patient support and adoration to convince him I wasn’t going to abandon him like his family had.

“Our pasts may influence us but they don’t determine who we are,” I remind him. “Omen is not her brother nor is she her father, yet you act as if she’s responsible for carrying the weight of their sins.” He opens his mouth to reply but I cut him off. “You’ve devoted your adult life to fighting to protect omega’s from men like Ben Montgomery. We love your determination, your protective nature. Joining you in speaking up against abusers is something I do proudly at your side. But Neb, when will it be enough? If Benjamin Montgomery were to be found guilty and charged with Elizabeth’s death tomorrow, would that be enough? Or would you find someone else to blame? The Pastor? His wife? Their children? Grandchildren? Where does your quest for justice end?”

Nebula sighs, the sound so defeated I almost regret what I said. “I know. I’m going to work on it. When we get back home, I’m going to start seeing a therapist and try to work through my issues revolving around Elizabeth’s death. I don’t want to spend our lives chasing her ghost. But I don’t know if therapy will be enough for me to forgive Omen’s lies.”

“Are they lies? Is hiding her identity as part of the DAU’s designation protection program considered lying? Even if it was done to protect her from the very family who helped destroy your sister?” I shake my head, sitting up so I can look him in the eyes. “None of us will know why Omen kept the secrets she did unless we talk to her.”

“I’ll try.”

I nod, accepting this tentative peace for now. He turns his body toward me, relief clear on his bruised face. He passes the gift bag to me. Peeking inside, I see several new romance paperbacks from my wish list. I don’t hide my grin. He went to a bookstore to get me something as an apology.

While my hurt is still there, pulsing weakly in my chest, I can’t stay mad at him. Fighting with my mates is equally as painful. Leaning my head against his shoulder, I soak in the warmth of his tobacco and vanilla scent. It feels like it’s been ages since I was wrapped against him like this. Our bond sings at the contact, a blanket of comfort drifting over both of us as we soothe the aches in our hearts. Nebula’s arm wraps around my back when he pulls me to sit over his lap so he can bury his face into my neck.

We might not have all the answers and we may not see eye to eye on everything, but as long as we have each other, it will all work out in the end. Fate guides us to where we need to be, we have to believe the path we are traveling won’t bring us to ruin.