1. A12-18

The medical exam room is the same as every other time I’ve come here. The room is cold, smells strongly of sanitizer, and the lights are just a little too bright. The only difference between this time and all the other times I’ve been asked to come here is that the doctor isn’t already waiting for me. I didn’t think he would be, though. He has other things to worry about, like how my best friend screamed at him this morning before she was sent off-planet.

When Earth started to collapse and half the population died, an alien group who called themselves The Hands of the Creator saved us. Well, they saved those of us who were willing to trust an alien species telling them to all hide out in a baseball stadium in the Bronx. Thankfully, I followed their instructions and met my best friends, Simone and Deja. We lived in the stadium in relative peace for two years. After those two years, we were told that a group of women would need to be sent to another planet to help repopulate an alien tribe. At first, it seemed like a bad deal. But honestly, life on Earth is boring without my friends, so I’m not too disappointed to have to leave in about a year when it’s my turn.

Simone left Earth this morning, two weeks before she was scheduled to go. All of us in Unit A12 were supposed to be asleep since it was so early, but Simone’s never been one to be quiet. No, she was cursing and yelling, not caring who heard her.

When I popped my head out to see if she needed backup, I saw her throwing all her expletives at the Hand who works as our doctor. He just stood there and took it, waited until she calmed down, and then wrapped his arms around her as she started to cry. His skin began to glow a faint white, and when his eyes opened again, they were almost blinding in how bright they were. Simone didn’t seem to mind it at all, just placed a hand on his cheek and told him to go fuck himself.

That was when I decided to return to my room and leave them to their goodbyes. I thought Simone would come and get me before she left. That was hours ago, and I haven’t seen her or the doctor since. Not that I won’t see her again, because I will when I’m sent to the new planet. I just thought she’d at least say goodbye to me before disappearing.

The main reason I’m in the doctor’s exam room is to ask if Simone has actually left, but I also have a mole on my left boob that’s been looking a little odd recently. I’m sure it’s nothing, but I’d rather have it checked out than risk it. Plus, if I’m not in my best health, I might not be able to go to the new planet. The Hands have made it abundantly clear that the women of Unit A12 need to be healthy to go to the new planet. We’re being sent to help repopulate the planet, after all.

Simone and Deja are both already gone, and I’m not about to be stuck here on shitty Earth while they’re off partying with their new alien boyfriends. So, I’m going to have the doctor check out the mysteriously bigger and more blobby mole, figure out if Simone is gone, and then not worry about anything until it’s my turn to be sent away.

The door to the medical room opens, and the doctor comes in, his head hung low, a bright light seeming to emanate from his skin. He startles when he sees me and then presses on his face, trying to adjust the weird human disguise he wears.

I don’t know how the Hands make themselves look somewhat human, and I’m not about to ask him. It looks weird enough when it slips slightly, and I get to see the glowing white light hidden underneath. I don’t need to know how it all works.

“A12-18, what can I do for you?” The doctor clears his throat, emotion still evident in his words.

“Hey.” I chew on my lip, trying to decide which of my many, many questions is most important.

I have about a million questions about his relationship with Simone. Deja and I were always trying to figure out which Hand she was always off sneaking around with, and neither of us ever thought it was the doctor. It doesn’t help that Simone kept her dating life, or whatever it was she was doing with the doctor, locked down. If we even mentioned we thought she was sneaking around, she would deny it and then tell us to mind our own business.

Of course, all of the most important questions I want to ask are about his relationship with Simone, but he looks dead inside. I’m not trying to make his breakup, or whatever it was, any worse. Maybe once he’s not looking like someone just kicked a puppy in front of him, I’ll ask.

That means this conversation is going to be crappy for me because I’ve been putting off thinking about what this stupid mole could mean for me and my future. I lick my lips and then tell him why I’m here. “I have a mole that’s changed, I think.”

The doctor’s eyes go wide, some of the tension leaving his body. “When did this happen?”

“I don’t know. I’ve been checking every month for lumps and stuff like you said, but this isn’t a lump, and I thought maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me or it was just a weird angle. I definitely think it’s changed, though. It used to be more flat and circle-shaped. Now, it’s raised and more blobby.”

The doctor narrows his eyes at me and then goes over to his computer, where he types something out and pulls up all my charts. “I haven’t seen you in five weeks.”

“No, we had to reschedule my last appointment because you said there was a lot of research happening with the humans already on the new planet.” My fingers fiddle in my lap, and I keep chewing on my lip. With how hard I’m biting down on it, I’ll make it bleed at some point, but the tension here is thick.

The doctor types something else into his computer and then moves to one of the storage cabinets. He pulls out a hospital gown that he hands to me. It’s the same kind I’ve been asked to put on every single month I come to get checked out by him.

He doesn’t say anything to me as he steps out of the room, but I know he’ll be back in a few minutes. I’m supposed to strip, put on the gown, and then wait for him to return. The only difference today is that I don’t take my pants off. I doubt he needs my pants off to see a mole.

The hospital gown is thin, and the room is cold, which means I’m pulling my jacket back on. I’m not about to freeze to death while I wait for the doctor to come back. Thankfully, he doesn’t make me wait long. When he sees me, he tilts his head to the side, walks over to the thermostat on the wall, and taps on it.

“I didn’t realize you were coming today. I would have already warmed the room,” he says, as though the room isn’t always freezing. It makes me wonder if he’s always warm or if he doesn’t feel the temperature at all. As weird as the Hands are, I wouldn’t be surprised if they don’t feel anything.

“It’s okay.” I shrug the jacket back off so I look more like a patient. I can’t and won’t think about him as my best friend’s weird alien boyfriend while we’re doing the whole doctor-patient thing because it’s gross. No, right now, in weird situations like this, it’s best to have clear boundaries and roles to play. “I just want to get this done because I have more questions for you.”

The doctor rolls his little wheeled chair close to the medical bed I’m sitting on. He looks at me in surprise before shaking his head. “Let’s not talk about A12-05 until we’ve finished your exam.”

“Yeah, that’s what I’m saying.” I throw my hands up a little dramatically to really get my point across that we’re on the same page. “I don’t want to talk about how you’re banging my best friend while you’re touching my boobs.”

Any humor that might have been on the doctor’s face is gone in an instant. The white in his eyes burns so bright I end up lowering my gaze. Clearly, joking about him and Simone is off the table, at least for now. Maybe when the heartbreak isn’t so fresh and when I’m not half dressed.

The room stays bright for what feels like at least a few minutes, and the whole time, I keep my eyes firmly planted on my lap while I wait for the doctor to decide whether to be mad at me or continue his examination. I finally have a chance to peek up when his chair rolls away from me, and instead of anger or embarrassment, there’s only sorrow on his features.

“I’m sorry,” I say the words before I can think about them. I don’t know the doctor outside of the monthly appointments where he makes sure I’m still healthy and able to have babies. I don’t even know if I should be telling him sorry since the last thing I heard Simone say to him wasn’t that loving.

I thought Simone was just messing around with one of the Hands. He looks like his whole world is ending right now. I wonder if it was more for him than Simone made it seem. At least I’ll be seeing her in a year. As far as I know, the Hands don’t get to go to the new planet. If they do, I feel like the doctor would be there with her right now.

“I appreciate that, Nia,” the doctor says my name, and it causes my eyes to widen and my lips to part.

The Hands are always so careful about calling us by our numbered names. Not once in my over two years here has a single one of them called me by my given name. The doctor ignores my surprise, though. Instead, he rolls the chair back over.

“Go ahead and open the left side of your gown.”

I let the gown hang open, exposing enough of myself so that he can see the mole. There’s nothing on his face but a calm, determined demeanor that makes me know there’s absolutely nothing he finds erotic about this situation. Which is good because then I’d have to throw up on him. I can’t think of anything grosser than catching the eye of one of the Hands, much less seeing anything lustful in his gaze when I know he’s still heartbroken over Simone. I’d have to hurl on him just for the betrayal.

His eyes track over the mole, and then he turns his eyes up to me. “Do you mind if I touch the area around it?”

“No, go ahead.”

His touch is impersonal, clinical, and, thankfully, fleeting. One moment, he’s touching the skin, narrowing his eyes on the mole, and the next, he’s sitting back up. He says nothing before turning his chair and rolling back to the computer to type more.

“So?” I ask.

He pushes away from the computer again, sparing me a glance over his shoulder as he moves to one of the cabinets. “I need to do a biopsy. Luckily for you, our technology is much better than the technology your human doctors had.”

“A biopsy?” I feel my throat starting to burn and all of the blood leaving my face.

How bad could it be? It’s just a mole. I haven’t been out in the sun in two years, thanks to the world going to shit. Even if I had, it’s not like I’m melanin deficient. I didn’t wear sunscreen very often, but then again, I didn’t ever burn either. To be honest, worrying about this kind of issue, the skin cancer type of issue has never been a concern. Or I didn’t think it needed to be.

I especially didn’t think I’d need to worry about if the Hands wanted me to help another alien species repopulate their tribe. They should’ve been able to tell who has cancer genes, right? I mean, I would imagine a futuristic species would have a way to tell if this was even going to be an issue.

“Yes, a biopsy,” the doctor says, sounding calm somehow even though it feels like my entire world is crumbling around me.

I can’t have cancer. I’m supposed to join Simone and Deja on the new planet. I’m supposed to have a house full of weird alien babies that love me. I mean, I don’t know if I want a house full of weird alien babies, but that’s kind of been shoved down my throat for the last six months. Before the world ended, I was okay with never having kids, but I’ve been told over and over again that I’m going to a planet to have babies. I started to accept it. I didn’t have a say in it, but now that it’s the opposite, I don’t know which one I prefer.

“Nia, are you with me?” The doctor’s in front of me now, a needled syringe in one hand, the other on my shoulder, trying to shake me and get my attention. “The chance of it being skin cancer is low, and the chance of it being worse than anything our medical equipment can handle is near nonexistent. You will survive this, I promise.”

“Good, that’s good.” The words feel hollow as they come out, but I lock my eyes on his and manage to get a single question out. “What is that?”

“A sedative,” he says. His hand on my shoulder moves down my arm to my elbow, where he holds it up and straightens out my arm for me. “I need to put you under so I can get you into a medical pod.”

I nod, all of my thoughts about what this could mean for me threatening to spill out in the form of tears. Even if I do survive, how drastically will my life change? If I have cancer, will I still get to leave this planet? Will I ever see my friends again?

“A12-18,” the doctor’s voice is harder now, and I realize my body’s started shaking. I’m not cold anymore, or maybe I am. Maybe I’m just like the Hands and can’t feel the temperature anymore because there are things that are now so much more important than whether or not the room I’m in is slightly cold. The doctor waits for me to look at him before speaking to me. “No matter what, I will make sure you are with the others.”

“What if—?”

“No matter what.” His gaze is hard and determined as he waits for me to accept what he’s saying.

I take one deep swallow, forcing down my worries. Questions and concerns swim in my mind, but there’s something more pressing. Something I never thought to ask until right now because this Hand is offering to make sure I end up with my friends. I’ve never cared to ask him one of the most important questions to ask a person. “What’s your name?”

“Vexarionaxnoryndrik,” he says. I don’t have a second to ask him if he’s joking or if he’s being serious with how much of a mouthful his name is. He keeps his eyes on mine as he pushes the syringe into my arm, and the world goes dark.