Chapter Sixty-Three

Five days later, no wrens died in New York City.

Kierse inhaled the crisp chill as snow collected in her dark hair. Wren Day. Her day. And she had survived it after all. If only barely.

Nate's black car came to a stop before her. He rolled the passenger window down. "You ready?"

She touched the wren necklace at her throat. The legacy her parents had given her, whatever may have happened to them. She still didn't have answers, but she was going to get them.

"All set," she said.

She yanked the door open and slid inside. Nate took off like a bullet down the crowded streets. Christmas traffic had returned in force. Christmas markets had sprung up overnight. A tree at Rockefeller Plaza. She hadn't seen any of it from the sanctuary of Five Points, but Colette had told her about it all happening. Like this season had redoubled its efforts to bring Christmas magic, cheer, and joy to the city.

After the events of the solstice, Kierse, Gen, and Ethan had gone to Colette, who had put them up in a different room. None of them could say it, but they weren't quite ready to go back to the attic. When the wolves had woken up a day later, they'd returned to the Dreadlords. Nate had apologized a thousandfold for what had happened while he'd been on lockdown. But she couldn't blame him. She wasn't sure that Nate would have been able to succeed against Lorcan that night anyway.

"You're sure about this?" Nate asked.

"Positive."

"I'm still sorry," Nate said, cutting his hazel eyes in her direction. "About everything."

"You don't have to apologize, Nate. The whole thing was fucked."

He nodded, and they drove the rest of the way in silence. He cut the engine a block from Colette's, taking the first parking spot available on the slushy streets.

"You know that you're welcome with me anytime, Kierse."

"I know," she told him. And she did.

But she couldn't remain at Nate's. Nor could she stay with Colette. She had too much to do, too much to learn. And she needed to start now.

"Don't make it another year, okay?" he said, pulling her into a hug. She didn't fight it, just let his wolf warmth radiate over her. Oh, how things had changed.

"I'll be back," she promised.

She pushed open the door and was hopping out when he called, "Wait." She stuck her head back into the car, and he passed her an envelope. "I wasn't going to give this to you. He doesn't deserve access to you, but... Fuck."

Kierse turned the blank envelope over and saw that there was a green wax seal with an acorn pressed into it. Lorcan. She stuffed it into her jacket pocket.

"Thanks, Nate."

Then she darted across the street and up the front steps of the brothel. Corey stood sentinel on the steps and had a wide smile for her.

"Kierse! Glad you made it."

"Hey, Corey," she said with a wave. She was surprised that he could still smile, considering what she, Gen, and Ethan were planning to do. But maybe Ethan hadn't told him yet. Leaving it to the last minute.

"They're waiting for you inside." He pulled the door open for her.

Inside, she found Colette, her lush, red hair in a gorgeous wave down her back. She was in a floor-length black dress with a mink around her shoulders. She arched an eyebrow at Kierse's appearance. "Welcome back."

"Are you going soft on me?" Kierse asked, fighting for the familiar.

"Never." Then her voice dipped. "I'm just glad that you brought my Genesis home to me. And Ethan," Colette added. "And you, of course. All three of my children."

Kierse's throat closed up at those words. And when Colette held her arm out, Kierse let her hug her as well. A day of hugging for a day of leaving.

She took the old, familiar stairs, running her hand along the banister, listening for the same creaks that were always there. She took her time, reminiscing. Then, just before she reached the landing for the attic, she withdrew Lorcan's letter.

She hadn't been sure she'd read it, but she was too naturally curious.

Kierse,

I know you don't trust me. I haven't given you reasons to do so. But you cannot trust him, either. I won't beat a dead horse and list the ways of his deception. I believe you have finally seen the truth of the matter.

I could wax poetic about the ways in which you are sacred to my people, how you have changed my entire world, but from our short acquaintance, I can tell that would not sway you.

So go.

Go see the wide world beyond. Learn your answers the way that I did. The way that he did. And when you return home, I will be waiting.

L.F.

P.S. I'd start at the Goblin Market on Grafton Street in Dublin.

Kierse folded the letter and stuffed it back into her pocket. Arrogant, insufferable man. As if he hadn't threatened to kill her and her family innumerable times after making his own promises that he would not. Like she couldn't see the web of his own deception. Now he was groveling because she was somehow sacred to his people. Not good enough.

She ground her teeth together and then released her anger before walking the last few steps up and pushing open the door to her attic.

Somehow, it felt... smaller.

Had all three of them really lived up here?

Their beds were the same against the far wall. The abandoned training facility in the center of the room. A space reserved for Gen's tarot cards and herbal work. A couch where they lounged. She ran her finger along a dresser and found dust collected in the crevices. Ethan had been so tidy that it was hard to believe. Most of the plants were dead or their pots were empty. Gen's discarded harp, a side project that had never taken root, was lying atop her messy table. Kierse's clothes still filled the closets or lay scattered on the floor. The place where they lived.

"Hey," Ethan said, sliding a full backpack on his shoulders.

"Kierse," Gen said. She turned toward the sound of Kierse's footsteps. "We were just packing up."

All of Kierse's clothes and belongings had been delivered in neatly packed boxes from Graves's residence on Christmas morning. No note or anything from him. Just the boxes and another five million dollars deposited into her account. A closing to her services.

She wasn't surprised. She was just another person he'd pushed away. Just another person who had left him.

So, she didn't actually need anything from the attic. All of Graves's clothes were higher quality and better fit. It was the closure that she needed.

"You have to tell her," Gen hissed.

"Tell me what?" Kierse asked, coming back to herself.

"I'm... I'm going to stay," Ethan said.

Kierse blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," he said, breathing in deeply and then releasing it. He was actually afraid to say this. "I'm going to go train with Lorcan."

This time, Kierse froze completely. "Come again?"

"He said he could train us... me. I'm a... Druid," he said as he floated his hand over his coils nervously. "I don't know what that means. I don't even know how it's possible. But he has answers. He has them now, Kierse."

"He's going to play you," she said. It was hard to keep her tone light.

"He's not Graves."

"No, he's not," she said, and it wasn't a compliment.

"He's going to go whether you approve or not," Gen said. "So just be happy for him."

"Happy for him," she repeated. "He tried to kill you. Both of you. He almost did kill me."

"I know," Ethan interjected. "But I want this. I have magic; I want to know how to use it. So, I'm going to go train with him. You made your deal with the devil. Let me make mine."

She didn't want to. She wanted to beg him not to do it, but she couldn't make his choices for him.

"Of course," she said instead. "Of course, if that's what you want."

Ethan blew out another breath. "You... you could come, too."

"I couldn't," she said. "I need my own answers. Not ones that come with strings. I hope he gives you what you're looking for, and if he hurts you, remind him that I will kill him."

Ethan laughed before clearing his throat when he realized how deadly serious she was. "Yeah, I'm sure he'll love that." He turned to Gen. "And you?"

"I agree that you should do what is best for you even if we disagree," Gen said quietly. "But I'm with Kierse."

He nodded. "I figured."

"We'll be back, though," Gen insisted. "Can't keep us away forever."

Gen beckoned Kierse in, and she let her friends hug her. This triskel, as Lorcan had said, that had created between them. She knew they were stronger together. The thought of Ethan going off with Lorcan was... wrong. And yet, she couldn't stop him any more than he could stop her. But she felt bereft at the thought of his absence.

Gen patted Kierse's arm and then followed Ethan to the door.

"Kierse," he said over his shoulder. "Until next time."

She smiled back at him, fighting down tears. "Until next time."

When he was gone, she let the tear track down her cheek. She swiped it away angrily. Ethan had made his choice. That was all there was to it.

A creak on the stairs brought her right back to reality. She whirled around, hoping that he'd changed his mind, but against all odds, the figure that walked into the attic was Graves.

She inhaled sharply at the sight of him. He cut a sharp figure in a stark black suit. His wound must have fully recovered, since he wasn't even in a sling. No one else would ever know that he had been stabbed less than a week earlier. But Kierse knew. She could see it in the tilt of his head, the clench of his jaw, the weight of him. She knew him too well not to see the strain. It hit her so much harder, knowing that. That she did know him.

And her tangled feelings made it all so much worse.

"I never thought I'd see you in here," she admitted as he came fully into the attic.

"I wanted to see you before you left."

"You didn't send a car? Or wait for me to show up?"

"I came to you," he answered simply.

Kierse looked away from him. "It's not much, but it was home."

"I understand its importance in your life."

"Well, are you going to ask me to stay?" she asked, glancing up at him again.

His eyes were soft. "Would that work?"

She laughed slightly. "A question for a question. How very Graves."

"Stay," he said, a note like pleading in his voice.

"I can't," she told him.

She had wanted those words from Graves. She had wanted him to want her like that. To need her in that way. She had thought for a time that they were the same. And at their core, they were.

They fit together not just because he was the Holly King and she, his wren. But because they were two broken pieces of the same tapestry, and being with him was like being sewn back together. Only he'd sliced his sword down that mended seam. And she didn't quite know how to repair it.

Which was how she knew that she needed to go. Go and get her own answers. Here, she would only be a part of Graves's mission. She would only know enough to suit him and not enough to suit her. She wanted more than that. But if she was to return to the city, her home, to Graves... then she wanted it to be on her own terms.

"I understand." He spoke in a way that said he didn't approve.

"You could tell me where to start, though," she suggested.

He considered the request. "If I was starting, I'd go to Dublin," he said. "There's a place on Grafton Street called the Goblin Market. It's probably your best bet if you won't stay."

Kierse almost laughed. The Goblin Market. The same place that Lorcan had suggested. Well, if she had doubted either of them telling the truth before, having the same answer from both of them confirmed it.

"Thank you."

He nodded. "You'll be safe?"

"As safe as I ever am."

"That's what I am afraid of."

"Give me more credit," she said, reaching for playful.

"And the spear?" he asked hesitantly.

"Is mine," she told him. "Your spell will have to wait."

He grasped her hand. She realized in that moment that he wasn't wearing his gloves. Skin to skin. His heat melted into her.

"What we had was real," he confessed. "It was real for me."

"I know." She met his gray gaze, saw the fiery emotions so blatant there. She wanted to lean into it. She wanted so much more from him. "It was real for me, too."

The door to the attic creaked open then. "Kierse, Ethan just left..." Gen trailed off when she saw Graves standing in the room. "Oh, should I come back?"

She looked around the attic that had been her sanctuary. But it was just a room now. It was the people that mattered in her life. Gen, Ethan, Colette, Nate. They were what mattered. And maybe... maybe Graves, too.

"No," Kierse said. "I think I got everything that I need."

Then she walked past Graves, took Gen's arm, and closed the page on her life in the attic.

Graves's voice carried over the threshold. "Are you going to come back?"

"New York City is my home," she said. "I'm not done here yet."