Chapter 23 - Reiner

My head feels like it’s been trampled by a herd of wild horses, each one stomping a little harder than the last. The morning sun stabs at my eyes as if it has a personal vendetta against me. I’m not usually one to indulge in this level of self-pity, but damn, I feel like shit. And not just because of the hangover.

I lean against the porch railing, watching as the last of the Stardust Hollow shifters load into their trucks. They’ve been with us for two months, and while it hasn’t been the easiest experience, it’s also been rewarding in a lot of ways. We’ve learned a lot from each other, and I think we’ve forged some strong connections.

But now, it’s time for them to go. And with them, Jane.

She’s been distant all morning, and it’s gnawing at me like a festering wound. Every time I’ve tried to catch her eye, she’s looked away, like she can’t stand the sight of me. Maybe she can’t. Hell, I can’t stand the sight of me right now, either.

When I tried to speak to her, she brushed me off, saying she had to go help Piper and her aunt with the final packing. But I know she was really just trying to avoid me.

As I watched her walk away, I couldn’t shake the feeling that this was all a mistake. I should’ve told her how I felt. I should’ve been honest with her. But I was a coward, and now I’m going to lose her.

The thought of losing her is almost too much to bear. She’s the first woman I’ve ever really cared about, and I can’t imagine my life without her in it.

I’m still standing on the porch, lost in my thoughts, when Rafe approaches. “You okay, man?” he asks, his voice laced with concern.

“Not really,” I admit, running a hand through my hair. “I fucked up, Rafe. I fucked up big time.”

“What happened?”

I sigh, leaning against the railing. “I was an idiot. I was afraid to admit how I felt about her, and now, she’s gone.”

“You guys can do long-distance,” he suggests.

“Maybe,” I say, my voice heavy with doubt. “But I don’t think that’s what she wants. I think she’s done with me.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself,” he says, clapping a hand on my shoulder. “She’ll come around. Just give her some time.”

“I hope you’re right,” I mutter, staring at the vehicles as they drive away.

I can’t help but feel that I’m watching my chance at happiness go along with them.

I’m an idiot.

Jack comes trotting over to me, and the entire way, he’s shaking his head. “How could you let her go?” he asks.

“I didn’t let her go,” I say, my voice tight. “I had no choice. She wanted to leave.”

“Bullshit,” he replies, his tone harsh. “You had a choice, and you made the wrong one. You let her go.”

“I didn’t want to hold her back,” I say, trying to defend myself. “She’s young, she has her whole life ahead of her. She doesn’t need to be tied down to an old, broken-down wolf like me.”

He reaches out and gives me a shove, and my hackles rise instantly. “You’re a fucking idiot, you know that? She’s crazy about you, and you’re sitting here, feeling sorry for yourself and letting her get away. You’re a fucking coward.”

Oh, hell, no.

I shove him back, a growl rumbling in my chest. “I’m not a coward. I’m being realistic. She’s better off without me. She deserves someone younger. Someone who can give her the life she wants.”

“You’re a fucking idiot,” he repeats, shoving me again.

My temper is fraying, and I can feel the shift coming on. My claws are itching to come out, and my teeth are aching to bite.

“You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about,” I snarl, my voice rough and gravelly.

“I know you’re throwing away the best thing that’s ever happened to you,” he shoots back, his eyes flashing with anger. “I know you’re making a huge mistake.”

“Fuck you,” I growl, my fist connecting with his jaw.

We tumble to the ground, our bodies entwined as we roll around, trading punches and insults. I’ve never hit my cousin before, but I can’t seem to stop myself. He’s pushing all my buttons, and I’m beyond the point of reason. I don’t know if it’s the hurt, the anger, or the alcohol, but I’m not thinking straight. I’m just reacting.

“Enough!” someone shouts, and suddenly, we’re being pulled apart.

I’m breathing hard, my heart racing, my hands clenched into fists. I want to keep fighting. I want to make him pay for calling me a coward.

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?”

I spin around, fully intent on laying into whoever came between me and my cousin, but the words die in my throat. It’s Gael, of all people. Mr. Bookworm himself is daring to intervene here? I’m too stunned to say a damn thing.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, Reiner?” Gael’s voice is low and dangerous. I can’t remember the last time I heard him sound so pissed off.

“I—”

“Shut the fuck up,” Gael cuts me off.

I close my mouth, my heart pounding.

“I don’t care what the fuck is going on with you and your cousin, but you need to get your shit together. We have bigger issues.” He swivels in place to face Rafe now. “Rogues. Clara just said she saw them when she was coming back into town. One of them matched Lionel’s description. We need to go after them. Now.”

“Fuck,” Rafe hisses, his eyes flashing with fury. “Get in the car. All of you.”

I don’t argue. I don’t even think. I just follow orders.

We pile into the car, and Rafe guns it, speeding down the road. I’m sitting in the back seat, my heart racing, my mind spinning.

“What’s the plan?” I ask, my voice tight.

“We’re going to track them down and take them out,” Rafe says, his voice cold. “No mercy.”

“Do we have any idea where they are?”

“They were spotted near the border,” he replies, his jaw clenched. “We’ll start there and fan out.”

“Roger that,” I say, my voice grim.

I glance at Jack, and he looks just as determined as I feel. We’re going to find these fuckers, and we’re going to make them pay.

It’s time to put an end to this madness once and for all.

When we arrive, we split up and begin searching the area. It’s quiet and eerily calm, but I know the rogues are here somewhere.

I move silently through the woods, my senses on high alert. I can’t hear them or smell them, and part of me wonders if they’ve already left. Jack falls into step beside me, his eyes scanning the trees.

“She came looking for you, you know. Last night. She wanted to talk to you.”

I stiffen, my heart hammering in my chest. “What are you talking about?”

“At the bar. I saw her pull up, and she said she was just getting a drink, but she never went inside. I watched her for a while, and she was just standing there, looking through the window.”

I think back to last night. I was at the bar, but I didn’t see her. Oh, shit. I’m willing to bet money that she was there, and she saw me. She saw me laughing and hamming it up with my friends, and she thought I didn’t care.

“Fuck,” I mutter, running a hand through my hair.

“Yeah,” Jack says, his tone sympathetic. “She was pretty upset. I think she was hoping you’d come outside and talk to her.”

“I didn’t know,” I say, my voice strained. “I didn’t see her. The only reason I was even there was to keep myself busy. I needed a distraction.”

“I know,” he says, putting a hand on my shoulder. “And I’m not saying this to be a dick, I’m saying it because you need to hear it. You were an idiot. You let her get away.”

I sigh, my shoulders sagging. “I know.”

“You guys need to come see this!” Gael’s voice rings out through the forest.

We rush over to where he’s standing near the road, and I can’t believe what I’m seeing. Footprints, dozens of them, all headed in the direction of Stardust Hollow.

“Fuck,” Rafe hisses, his eyes flashing with anger. “They’re going after the other pack.”

“That’s why they posted up between our territories,” I reason. “They knew we were running this exchange program, and they knew they’d be returning home soon. They were waiting for their chance to strike.”

“We have to warn them,” Gael says, his voice tight. “We have to get to them before the rogues do.”

“I’ll call Ram,” Rafe says, pulling out his phone.

He dials the number, and we wait, our hearts pounding, but there’s no answer.

“Fuck,” Rafe hisses, his voice laced with frustration. “Reiner, try calling Jane.”

I pull out my phone and dial her number, but it goes straight to voicemail.

“Shit,” I mutter, clenching my jaw. “What if they’ve already got them?”

“Oh, man,” Jack mumbles. “This is bad. This is really bad.”

“We have to assume the worst,” Gael states. “We have to assume the rogues have attacked the pack, and we have to prepare for the possibility that we’re going to be walking into a bloodbath.”

“Fuck,” Rafe growls. “We need to let Evan know and wait for his orders. We can’t go charging in there without a plan.”

I throw my hands in the air. “There’s no time for that shit! They could be dying, or worse, already dead while we sit here and debate what to do. We need to go now.”

“You know that’s not how we do things.” Rafe walks over to me, placing his hands on my shoulders and squeezing a bit.

Tears prick my eyes, and I have to blink them away. “But what if they have Jane?”