Chapter 22 - Jane

I watch him as he drives, the shadows of the trees lining the road flickering across his face. He’s silent, his gaze focused ahead, his jaw set. I can’t help but wonder what he’s thinking, but I don’t dare ask.

There was some sort of finality in what we just did out there in the forest. It was like a goodbye. Like he knew this was the end.

I glance at him again, and my heart aches. I don’t want it to end, but I can’t force him to feel the same way. When he glances over at me, there’s such a difference in the way he’s looking at me. He’s pulling away, and I don’t know how to stop it.

“Reiner,” I start, but he cuts me off.

“I should probably get you home,” he says, his tone flat.

“You’re not going to stay the night? I thought we could—”

“No,” he says, his voice firm. “I think it’s best if we say our goodbyes now.”

I stare at him, my heart breaking. This is it. This is the end. I can feel it, and I’m powerless to stop it.

“Okay,” I whisper, the word barely audible.

He pulls up to the house and parks. I can see the lights are on, and I know my aunt and uncle are waiting for me. I don’t want to go. I don’t want to leave.

“I guess this is it,” I say, my voice thick with emotion.

“Yeah,” he replies, his eyes fixed on the steering wheel.

It takes me a moment to realize he’s not even going to walk me to the door this time. I swallow the lump in my throat and reach for the door handle.

“Goodbye, Reiner.”

“Bye, Jane.”

I can’t look at him anymore. I can’t stand to see the indifference in his eyes. I shove the car door open and climb out while my heart shatters into a million pieces.

I make it to the front porch before the tears start to fall. I’m not sure why I’m crying. Maybe it’s the loss of a dream, a fantasy. Maybe it’s the realization that it was all a lie. Or maybe it’s the knowledge that I’ll never see him again.

I’m not the type to cry. I’ve always been the strong one, the one who holds it together. But right now, I can’t seem to stop the tears from flowing.

I’m standing there, my shoulders slumped, my head bowed, and I can’t stop crying. It’s like a dam has burst, and the floodgates have opened. I’m sobbing, my chest heaving, my heart aching.

I’m not sure how long I stand there, but eventually, I hear the door open.

“Jane?” Piper’s voice is soft and concerned.

I look up at her, my vision blurred by the tears. She’s standing there, her brow furrowed, her eyes filled with worry.

“What’s wrong?” she asks, her voice gentle.

I shake my head, unable to speak. I can’t form the words, can’t explain the pain I’m feeling.

“Come on,” she says, taking my hand. “Let’s get you inside.”

She leads me into the house, and I follow, numb and silent.

“Sit down,” she orders, and I obey, sinking into a chair at the kitchen table.

Thankfully, Aunt Gwen and Uncle Richard are nowhere to be seen. I’d hate for them to see me like this, a blubbering mess.

Piper bustles around the kitchen, putting on a pot of tea. The familiar scent of chamomile fills the air, and I feel a little better.

“Talk to me,” she says, setting a steaming mug in front of me. “What happened?”

“I don’t know,” I reply, my voice thick with emotion. “I just… I hate leaving him. I hate saying goodbye. I feel like there’s so much left unsaid, and I don’t know how to fix it.”

She draws her brows together as she rubs my arm. “Then why are you leaving? I thought things were going so well with you and Reiner. I was really hoping you’d stay. I was looking forward to having my adopted sister around all the time.”

“What’s the point?” I snap, the words coming out harsher than I intended. “He may be interested in me right now, but we both know that down the road, when some gorgeous, skinny blonde comes along, he’ll drop me like a bad habit. I’m not the type guys choose, and I’m tired of being the one who’s left behind.”

“Jane, what are you talking about? You’re beautiful, and any guy would be lucky to have you. Look at you! You’re smart, funny, and sexy as hell. Any guy would be crazy not to want you.”

“Yeah, right,” I scoff, rolling my eyes. “I’m the funny fat friend, and you know it. No one ever looks twice at me. I’m the one who gets left behind, the one who’s always the bridesmaid, never the bride. I’m the one who’s always on the outside, looking in. Reiner’s no different. He found a girl who would stroke his ego for a minute, and he took advantage of that. And stupid me, I fell for it hook, line, and sinker. I should’ve known better. I should’ve seen the writing on the wall, but I was too blinded by my own feelings to see the truth.”

“That’s not true,” Piper argues. “You’re not seeing clearly right now. You’re upset, and you’re lashing out. But that doesn’t make it true. You’re an amazing woman, and I’ve seen the way Reiner looks at you. He’s crazy about you, and I know he’s going to miss you when you’re gone. He’s just afraid to admit it.”

“Afraid?” I repeat, my voice dripping with sarcasm. “Please. He’s not afraid of anything. He’s a big, tough wolf. He doesn’t care about me. He’s just using me, and I’m a fool for falling for it.”

“No, you’re not,” Piper insists. “You’re not a fool, and he’s not using you. I don’t know what’s going on in his head, but I know you’re not a fool. You’re the most intelligent, kind, and loving person I’ve ever met, and I’m lucky to have you in my life. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want to stay, then stay. Don’t worry about what my parents or anybody else thinks. Stay and fight for what you want. Because if you don’t, you’re going to regret it for the rest of your life.”

I stare at her, my mind reeling. Is she right? Am I making a mistake?

“But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?” I ask, voicing my deepest fear.

“Then he’s an idiot,” she replies, her tone firm. “And you’re better off without him. But I don’t think that’s the case. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is shove your pride to the wayside and go talk to him. Tell him how you feel. Be honest. If he doesn’t feel the same way, you’ll have closure. And if he does, you’ll have the chance to start a real relationship, the kind that’s based on honesty and communication. You owe it to yourself, Jane. Take a risk. You might be surprised by what happens.”

I take a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves. She’s right. I have to try. I have to at least give us a shot.

“Okay,” I say, steeling myself. “But I have no idea where he is.”

“I just got off the phone with Rafe right before you got here. The two of them were headed to the bar. It’s not far from here. I’ll drive you.”

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “I need to do this alone. I can drive myself.”

She gives me a skeptical look but finally nods. “Okay, but call me if you need anything. I’ll be up late.”

“Thanks,” I say, giving her a quick hug. “For everything.”

She squeezes me back, and I can feel her smile. “Go get him, tiger.”

I grin and pull away, feeling a surge of hope and determination. I can do this. I can tell him how I feel. I can fight for what I want.

I head to the door, my heart pounding in my chest. This is it. This is my moment.

As I step outside into the cool night air, a million thoughts are racing through my mind. I’m not sure what I’m going to say, but I know I have to say something. I have to try.

When I reach the car, I pause, taking a deep breath. I can do this. I can be brave.

The drive to the bar is short, and soon I’m pulling into the parking lot. My hands are shaking, and I can feel my palms sweating.

I look at the bar, and I can see the lights and hear the music spilling out onto the street. There are people milling around outside, smoking and laughing. It’s a lively scene, but all I can think about is what I’m about to do.

I take another deep breath, steadying my nerves. I can do this. I can face him. I can tell him how I feel.

I get out of the car and make my way to the entrance. The bouncer barely glances at me before waving me in. Scanning the crowd, I search for Reiner. When I finally spot him, he’s surrounded by his packmates, laughing and joking and having the time of his life.

My stomach twists into a knot. How can he be so carefree when I’m feeling so conflicted? He doesn’t even seem to care that I’m leaving tomorrow. If he’s bothered by my leaving, even a little, he’s hiding it well.

I watch him for a few moments, my heart sinking. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he doesn’t care about me the way I care about him. Maybe I’m the only one who’s going to be hurting when I leave.

I’m not sure how long I stand there watching him, but eventually, I decide that I can’t do this. I can’t confront him, not here, not now. Not when he’s so clearly enjoying himself.

I turn and walk away, my heart breaking with every step.

I’m halfway to the door when I hear someone call my name. I stop, my hand on the door handle. I don’t want to turn around.

Jack’s voice is loud and clear. “Jane, wait!”

I close my eyes, trying to compose myself. I don’t want him to see me like this, but I can’t just ignore him.

“Yeah?” I reply, my voice shaky.

I hear him approach, and I can feel his presence behind me. “What are you doing here?” he asks, his voice gentle.

I’m not about to tell him that I was looking for his cousin to profess my undying love, only to find him living it up, so I lie. “I just wanted to see the town one more time,” I say. “I’m leaving tomorrow.”

“I know,” he says, his voice tinged with sadness. “I’m sorry. I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“It’s okay,” I reply, forcing a smile. “I’m ready to go home.”

And it’s true. I’ve seen all I need to see. I’m ready to leave this town, and Reiner, behind.