23. Wisteria

Very little work gets done for the next hour after Eli leaves.

The moment Penelope and Delia come back out, the looks on their faces tell me they heard at least some of what happened. Penelope fixes me with a knowing look, and Delia stares at me like she's never seen me before.

"Who was that?" Delia breathes, and Penelope snorts.

"More trouble than I think he's worth. But I suppose Wisteria would be the expert on that." She takes one look at my flushed face, and shakes her head. "I'll order lunch."

Over burrata and proscuitto sandwiches from the Italian deli next door, I tell Penelope and Delia what happened–that Eli asked me on a date, a real date, and that I said yes. We have to stop several times for me to explain the background to Delia–how I met Eli, that we hooked up twice already, that he abruptly ended our already casual relationship on the second night. I refrain from saying why–I barely know Delia, and I already almost died from embarrassment once giving all the intimate details to Penelope. I'm not sure I can survive it twice.

"He's a shifter," Penelope says pointedly, saving me some of the trouble. "A wolf."

Delia's eyes go wide. "And he's willing to go on a date with a witch?" She lets out a soft breath. "That's rare. You really hit the jackpot–"

"He doesn't know." Penelope looks at me sideways. "Unless you've told him since we last talked?"

The reminder of the secret I'm keeping hits me like a fist to the stomach. I bite my lip, realizing all over again that I should have said something. Once again, the time to admit what I've been hiding would have been when Eli asked me to go out tonight, before we start things up between us again. Before I end up in his bed.

But once again, I couldn't bring myself to say it. I didn't even think of it, the instinct to keep it hidden when a man asks me out so deeply ingrained at this point that it didn't even come up. But it should have. And I should have been honest.

He's been honest with me.The guilt flares in my chest, and Penelope's knowing look doesn't help.

"I'm going to take that as a no," she says softly, and I look away.

"It doesn't matter. He's leaving in January. He said as much when he was here. So why does it matter if he knows? He'll leave, no matter what happens between now and then. I might as well enjoy it–"

"What if he finds out?" Delia interjects, and my teeth sink deeper into my lip.

"Then I'll enjoy it until then?" Even as I say it, I know it's not an answer. That Eli's reaction if he finds out from another source will be so much worse than hearing it from me directly. But already, the promise of seeing him again has me making excuses for why I don't need to tell him yet.

Delia and Penelope look at each other, and say nothing.

"I'll see how the date goes and go from there," I murmur defensively, picking at my sandwich. "I–he caught me off guard, okay?"

"We're not telling you what to do." Penelope smiles at me, easing a little of the sting. "We're part of your coven, though, Wisteria. We look out for each other. And this is us looking out for you."

Something softens in my chest at that, a reminder that I have friends now, a coven, when I never did before. "I know."

"Are you going to go?" Delia asks curiously, and when I nod, she laughs. "I don't think I'd be able to tell him no, either. I've always wondered what it would be like–with a shifter."

Her words linger later that evening, as I get ready. The men I've gone on dates with in the past have never been any great prize, never the kind of men that other women would be envious of me for. It's an odd feeling, knowing that Eli is someone that others would look at and wish they were me–wish to be with him instead. I'm not sure how I feel about it, especially considering the fact that we're not really together. There's nothing stopping him from being with anyone else, while he's seeing me.

A small flutter of anxiety goes through me, remembering that we haven't used protection. I still have an implant, and I don't think there's a condom made that would fit him. But if he's sleeping with other women, too–

Not to mention, I don't even want to think what his body count before me might be.

I quickly grab my phone, typing in a quick search for can shifters get STDs? A flurry of results tells me that no, they can't, easing that worry at least. But the thought of him being with someone else still makes me feel ill. As if he really is mine to be jealous over.

It would be easier if he was a novelty. If the fact that he's a wolf was what drove my desire for him. But it's not. I don't care that he's a shifter. It's other things that attract me to him. His easy smile, his charming wit. The slow drawl of his accent and the heat in his eyes when he touches me. The softness that I sense under that rough exterior, the way he tries to be a gentleman with me, even though I can tell it's not his usual way.

Adam's words slip back into my head. Eli has a way with women. Until he's gotten them in bed, and then he doesn't. Just usually, he's out of town before he has a reason to have to face up to it.

Maybe this is him trying to face up to it. To do things differently. But I think it's simpler.

That whatever this is between us, Eli can't resist it any more than I can.

I bite my lip, putting my phone down and reaching for my eyeliner. I don't have much more time before he'll be here, and I don't want to keep him waiting.

He'd said he wanted to take me for a ride on his motorcycle–and I have a feeling that's what we'll be taking to our date–so I opt for a pair of nice dark jeans and my ankle boots. I find a rust-colored silk blouse in my closet with fluttery sleeves and silk-covered buttons down the front, the cleavage dipping a little lower than I usually wear. With my leather jacket, I have a feeling Eli will love the look.

I hear the rumble of his bike's engine outside just as I swipe on a dark nude lip stain, and my stomach clenches with excitement. This is a date. A real date. My emotions don't seem to recognize that it doesn't really matter–he's only here for a short time, so date or not, this has no longevity. My heart is fluttering in my chest, all of my senses on high alert as I step out into the chill of the night air.

I was right about the outfit. Eli takes one look at me and his gaze heats in a way that sends a shiver of anticipation down my spine. He gets off the bike, walking towards me and stopping halfway down the stone path as I meet him.

"You look fuckin' gorgeous." His voice is a low rumble, making my skin prickle with desire. "If I hadn't promised you a night out, I'd be walkin' you right back up this path inside. But I can't have you thinkin' I'm not capable of this date business."

His full mouth turns up in a smirk as he says it, and I feel my knees go weak. He looks stunningly gorgeous, in black jeans and a thick sage-green wool sweater, his leather jacket over top of it and his hair ruffled from the ride over. He has a hint of stubble on his jaw, and heat blooms through my veins at the thought of it rubbing against my skin.

"What if I said I wanted you to?" I whisper, unable to think past the pulse beating in my ears. I feel liquid with desire, longing sweeping through me as I step forward, one hand against his chest as the other wraps around the edge of his jacket, pulling him closer. "We could make dinner–"

He growls, and the sound make my knees buckle. His arm goes around my waist, pulling me against him, and I realize with a dizzy wave of desire that he's hard. How are we supposed to go out in public like this? I think, in the brief moment between him touching me, and his mouth coming down onto mine.

He tastes like citrus. Like lemons and sugar. I lick across his lower lip, my tongue tangling with his, moaning as both of my hands curl into his jacket and I pull him closer. I want to sink into him, breathe him in, and he wants the same. I can feel it as his hand presses against my lower back, as he backs me up towards the porch, his groans a hungry vibration against my mouth as we both stumble towards the steps.

My heel catches the edge of the lowest one, and I stumble backwards. We both go down together, his hand catching us before I can hit my back against the stairs, his face hovering over mine. My legs are parted, his heavy erection pressing against me between them, the heat of his body searing into mine. He has one knee on the steps, the other leg braced, holding me against him as if it's nothing.

And I realize, with a heat that washes over me in a mixture of embarrassment and desire, that I'm an inch from fucking him right here on my front steps.

"It's a good thing you didn't wear a dress," Eli murmurs, his other hand grasping my hip, pulling me tightly against him. "If you had, I'd be inside you right now."

"We'd get arrested," I breathe, swallowing hard. My pulse has taken up residence between my thighs, my desire insistent and demanding, and I can't quite remember why we shouldn't do it anyway.

"Wouldn't be my first time." Eli's hands grip me tighter, something in his face a challenge. Waiting for me to be shocked, to push him away, as he reveals another layer of himself to me. Baring himself further, when I'm still keeping secrets.

But I don't push him away. I'm not even really that shocked. I could have guessed, based on what I know about him so far, that he's been in that much trouble with the law.

I'm more shocked with myself.

I don't recognize this person–this woman who is lying underneath him on the steps, where anyone could walk by and see, one bad decision away from reaching down and undoing the front of his jeans. I swallow hard, looking up at his grey-blue eyes–and feel my breath snatched away.

His eyes are nearly silver. They've turned that gunmetal grey, metallic and gleaming, but I can see the silver shining through. I feel him arch into me, and I know he's on the verge of losing control.

"We should go inside," I whisper.

It's as if that breaks the hold his desire has on him. His eyes shift back to stormy blue, and he shakes his head, a suddenly chagrined expression spreading over his face. "Fuck," he breathes, pulling back and reaching for my hand. He helps me up, smoothing my hair away from my face. "What you do to me–"

My heart trips in my chest, afraid that he's going to pull away from me again. That he'll leave, that he'll run, and I reach up to touch his hand. "Are we going inside?" I breathe. "Or are you taking me on that date?"

That does it. Eli steps back, taking my hand and forcing a tight smile. "I did promise you a night out," he says. "Have you ever been on the back of a motorcycle before?"

I shake my head, and he grins. "Well then. A first for both of us tonight."

He leads me to the gleaming black bike, helping me put on the helmet buckled to the side of the seat. He settles onto the motorcycle first, then, keeping it steady as I swing my leg over and settle in behind him, putting my feet on the pegs the way he instructs. "Wrap your arms around me," he says. "And try to move when I move. We won't be goin' very fast, here in town. If you feel brave enough to go for a ride after, that'll be a different story."

I feel a flash of fear, but not enough for me to say no. That fear is mixed with curiosity, and excitement–emotions that I always seem to feel around Eli. My heart pounds as I wrap my arms around his waist, breathing in the forest scent of him, mingled with leather and the hint of sweat and male desire.

I'll never forget this,I think, my chest faintly aching as he pulls away from the curb. I'll never forget him. No matter how this ends. I'm not sure if it's a good or bad thing, that I feel that with such certainty. It might be a memory that hurts me, in the end.

But even that fear isn't enough to make me not want to experience it now, in the moment.

"Let me know if you want me to slow down or stop," Eli says, and then we're off.

He was right that we don't go that fast. Heading out of the residential area of Bayton and into town, the speed limit keeps the pace slow, and he's careful with it–and, I think, with me. I get a chance to get used to the movement of the bike as he takes turns, leaning slightly with him into and out of each one, and it's not as difficult as I would have thought. Like other things, we seem to move intuitively with one another, and the thought makes my face heat despite the chill.

I'm almost disappointed that we have to stop when Eli pulls up in front of the restaurant–a beachside place called Alley Cat Grille–and a grin splits his face when I tell him as much while I unbuckle my helmet.

"That means you'll be up for a ride after dinner? Here, let me help you with that." He reaches out, helping me undo the buckle, and I shiver when his fingers graze against my chin. His slightest touch makes me feel as if I'm melting with desire, and it's both the best and most disconcerting thing I've ever felt.

"I think I will. I'm still a little nervous," I confess. "But that was fun."

"I'll take care of you." His gaze shutters for just a moment, as if he realizes the intimacy of what he just said, the implications. "On the bike. Make sure you feel safe."

I nod, swallowing hard as we start to walk to the front door of the restaurant. I'm suddenly nervous, wondering if we should be doing this. Being out with him, like this, is a reminder that we're playing at something that we'll never really be.

Playing with fire, when it comes to how I'm going to feel in the end.

We're taken to a table out on the deck overlooking the water–closed in for the season by glass, but still with a beautiful view. There are overhead heaters, so we're not chilled, and I give Eli a smile as we sit down opposite one another at the table.

"For someone who claims not to know how to go on a date, you're doing a remarkably good job."

"I did my research." He chuckles, glancing at the menu. "And by that, I mean I did a Google search for the best date spots in Bayton. Admittedly, it took some narrowing down–every place here is considered a good date spot, apparently."

"I did think this one looked nice, when I first got here." I look down at my menu. "I thought about taking myself out to dinner here, actually. But I went to the Howling Moon instead."

"I'm glad you did." Eli looks up at me. "I'm glad I met you."

"Are you?" I cock my head, genuine curiosity in the question. "This is–well, you made it pretty clear that this–" I gesture at the restaurant around us, "That this isn't you. Not your normal way of doing things. Wouldn't it be better if you hadn't met someone who makes you want to do things like this?"

"Maybe." There's honesty in his voice, and I try not to let him see how the word cuts at me. I'm not the type to play games, but a small part of me had hoped he would negate everything I just said, quickly and definitively. "But that doesn't matter," he continues, softening the blow. "It did happen. You did show up at the bar that night, and I did meet you. And I wouldn't take it back."

I swallow, feeling the tightness in my throat. "Even if it hurts in the end?" I ask softly, and he nods, just as the server approaches our table.

"Even if that," Eli says, quietly enough that I'm not sure if I heard him right.

If he just admitted that he, too, might be hurt by the end of this.

He orders a dark beer and I get a hard apple cider, and the server brings them back to us with waters. We order crab dip and pita chips for an appetizer, and it feels remarkably normal–more so than any date I've ever been on.

"I like it so much better here than the city," I say softly, looking out at the water. "It's so much quieter. So much more peaceful."

"I've never been one for the city, either," Eli agrees. "The more wide open space, the better, so far as I'm concerned. But I think that's pretty normal, for a shifter." He looks at me, and I know, once again, that this is a moment where I could confess. I could tell him why I don't like the city. What brought me here to Bayton.

But I can't make the words leave my mouth.

"You said you've been all over. What do you like better? Mountains, forest, desert–" I trail off, enjoying watching his face as it turns contemplative.

"I'm a wolf," he says finally. "I think the forest always calls to me, regardless of whether I like it or not. But I did enjoy the desert, for all that it's hot and it's harder to hunt when I shift. It's got a strange kind of beauty to it. Not like anythin' I ever saw before I was out there."

"I've never been out of the Pacific Northwest," I admit. "I never thought about traveling."

"Why not?" He looks at me curiously, and I feel a small flare of panic.

Because a witch traveling alone is a bad idea. "I guess I just wasn't brave enough," I say quietly, and it's technically true. But at what point, I wonder, does an omission tip over into a true lie? At what point is it no longer just keeping my personal secrets to myself, and become flat out deceit?

I'm worried that we've already passed that point.

"I think you seem plenty brave." Eli grins, taking a sip of his beer as he reaches for a chip. "You moved here on your own, after all, from the city. That takes some nerve. Just settin' up in a new place. And you have your own shop, now. Runnin' a business is no small thing. Where did you work before?" he asks curiously.

"A bookstore." I narrow my eyes at him as he grins. "What?"

"I dunno." He shrugs. "Just thinkin' of you workin' in some city bookstore, dreamin' about havin' your own, and now you're on your way to that. Pretty impressive. You're really makin' all your own dreams come true."

That brings me up short, the sincerity in his voice surprising me. "You really think it's impressive?"

Eli blinks. "Well–yeah. Most people live their whole fuckin' lives just doin' the same things, regardless of whether it makes them happy or not. Most wouldn't pick up and change, even if the opportunity presented itself. So yeah, I think you doin' that is pretty impressive."

"Is that why you keep going from place to place? Because you don't want to stop, and get complacent?" I bite my lip. "I'm sorry. That was too personal. I'm talking faster than I think again."

He chuckles. "I like when your mouth runs away with you."

A flush spreads up my neck at the hint of heat in his voice, a reminder of what else I've done with my mouth that he liked. "It's embarrassing."

"That's not the word I'd use." He pauses, as if reminding himself of the conversation. "And to answer you–hell, I dunno. I never thought of it like that, to be honest. I haven't thought much about why over the years. If anythin', I try not to. I just keep goin'."

I'm not sure what to say to that, and thankfully, I'm saved by our food arriving–honey-glazed salmon with wild rice for Eli, and clam linguine for me. I nudge the garlic bread to one side, and Eli chuckles.

"Don't not eat that on account of me," he says, his eyes flickering with humor. "I'll kiss you later no matter what you have for dinner."

I blush. "I wasn't thinking–"

"Sure you were. I saw it in your face. As a matter of fact–" He reaches over, tearing the piece of bread in two, and taking a bite of his half of it. "There. Now it won't matter. In fact, you have to eat it, or you won't wanna kiss me."

"I don't think anything could make me not want to kiss you." I swallow hard, my flush deepening. Shit. I hadn't meant to say that aloud, and I glance at Eli, looking for some hint that it was too much, that he's put off by it. But he's still grinning, setting the bread down next to his salmon as he reaches for his fork.

He's too good at this. We're too good at this. It would be bad enough if it were just the soul-melting desire that seems to spring up between us every time we're within seeing distance of one another, but this is so much more than that. The playful banter, the way we seem to so effortlessly be able to have fun with one another–

I swallow past the lump in my throat. Enjoy now. Enjoy the moment. I want to believe that's enough. That I'd rather have now with him, than nothing at all.

"So–a bookstore." Eli takes a bite of his food, chewing thoughtfully. "What's your favorite kind of book? Romance? Or mysteries, science fiction–"

"I'll read almost anything, honestly. But I love fantasy. Dragons, princesses, knights, courtly intrigue–I love all of it."

Eli chuckles. "I'm a long way from a knight in shinin' armor. Dusty leather, more like it–and not much of a knight, at that."

"Well, it's a good thing I can separate real life from fiction, then," I tell him, a little more tartly than I mean to. "I mean–they're just books. It doesn't mean it's what I really want."

Eli takes another bite, quiet for a moment. "Maybe you've been your own knight," he says finally, a curiously serious look in his eyes. "Instead of the princess."

I snort. "That's ridiculous."

"Is it?" Eli frowns. "The whole point of all of that is for the princess to be saved, right? From a dragon, from an evil king, from somethin' that wants to keep her from bein' happy, from fulfillin' her true potential, right? Someone who will sweep her off her feet and carry her away, and live happily ever after with her. But you did that for yourself. You picked up and left, and came here. I'm sure you had moments where you thought you couldn't do it, right? Moments where you felt fear, or worry, or anxiety, or loneliness."

I pause, setting down my fork. "Yeah," I say quietly. "I've definitely felt all those things."

"Well, that's what you're defeatin'. All on your own. You've pulled it off, too, so far. That's what I mean. You're no damsel in distress, Wisteria." Eli chuckles again. "If anythin', you'll be the one who saves someone else."

To my surprise, I feel the sudden burn of heat behind my eyes, a prickling of tears. I blink them back, refusing to ruin the moment by crying. But it feels as if he's uncovered some part of me that even I didn't see, something that I didn't know about myself. As if he's seen me, in a way that no one else ever has.

I should tell him. I should. Maybe he wouldn't care. He'd understand. He'd see me completely, the first person to ever–

My chest tightens with panic, and I'm more sure than ever that I can't. Not only because I don't want this to end now–because I want the rest of tonight, and whatever nights might follow it after–but because if I tell him, and he doesn't run–

If he accepts me exactly the way I am, if he doesn't care, if he wants me regardless for whatever time we're going to have together–I don't think I'll be able to handle the pain when he leaves.

I'd rather be able to tell myself: well, he was always going to leave, eventually. Once he knew. It will be easier, then. If I can believe that there was no way this could ever work in the long-run, for a witch and a shifter.

"Hey, now." Eli reaches over, his rough fingertips brushing over the back of my hand. "You alright? I didn't mean to upset you–"

I nod, swallowing hard. There's no way I'm going to let this night be ruined, not when it's the best one I've ever had, so far. "I'm fine. You just caught me off guard, I guess. So insightful." I make my voice light, teasing, and Eli chuckles, visibly relaxing.

"Well, I can be from time to time, I suppose." He picks up his fork again, motioning to the server when they come back in our direction for another drink for each of us. "We'll get dessert, and I'll be fine to drive the bike again, no problem."

The night is perfect. I can see the crescent of the moon shining over the dark water, feel the slight chill seeping in through the glass, mitigated by the warmth of the heaters overhead. We finish our meal and our drinks, topped off with a chocolate lava cake that we both share, and then Eli reaches for the check before I can even offer to pay, sliding several bills into the leather folio.

"Don't you want to wait for change?" I ask him, eyeing it, but he shakes his head.

"I'd rather overtip a bit and get out on the road. You're still down for that ride, right?"

Something lewd immediately springs into my mind, and I glance at Eli, biting my tongue. His eyes meet mine, and his gaze heats instantly, a dark laugh rumbling up from the depths of his throat.

"I know what you're thinkin'." He reaches for my jacket, plucking it off the back of my chair and handing it to me. "There'll be plenty of time for that, later. But for now, I want to take you up the mountain and show you another of my favorite places."

Excitement and nervousness tingle over my skin, and I shrug into the jacket, following him out to the parking lot. My pulse is beating in my throat, and I glance at Eli, sucking in a lungful of the cold fall air.

"You're sure it's safe?" I ask, a little tremulously, and he looks over at me as he reaches for my helmet.

"Safe as I can make it. I'm a careful rider, despite what you might think. Too many folks not lookin' where they're goin'. Especially if I have someone on the back with me. I won't let anythin' happen to you, Wisteria. Not so far as I can help it."

I nod, breathing in deeply again to steady my nerves. I like that he didn't promise me he'd take care of me no matter what, that he was honest that there's danger. That he just said he'd do his best.

I like him so much. So, so much.I bite my lip, feeling a quiver of emotion as I buckle the helmet on and get onto the bike behind Eli, a little more gracefully this time. When I wrap my arms around him, holding on tight just like he said, I wonder if he can feel the beat of my heart against his back.

I wonder if he knows how much he makes me feel–and how much of it I've never felt with anyone before.

"Just tap my thigh if you start to get too nervous," Eli says, glancing back at me. "If I can pull off and give you a minute, I will. Though I'll warn you, once we get up into the higher mountain roads, it's a little harder to get off to the side."

Another pulse of fear hits me at that, but I nod. I can do this. I want to do this. I want to be brave, and adventurous, to experience new things with this man. I want to be the new version of myself who came to Bayton, the one he sees.

The one who saved herself. The one who can do anything.

Eli revs the engine, putting the bike in gear and pulling out of the parking lot. At first, we're still in town, winding through the streets at a steady speed. I see the lights of the Howling Moon, hear the music spilling out, and I'm glad Eli is with me tonight. That we're sharing a night together.

We leave the town behind, the night closing in around us, the only light the silvery crescent moon overhead and the glittering stars. I feel Eli pick up speed, and my stomach tightens with fear, but there's excitement to it, too. My breath catches in my throat as the wind starts to whip around us, my arms tightening around him, and I tilt my head back a little, looking up at the stars.

I feel as if I'm beginning to understand what he feels, when he rides. Why he goes from place to place, town to town, just him and his bike. The freedom of it. I can feel my heart lifting in my chest, the fear evaporating as I hold on to Eli's solid form, and lose myself in the feeling. In the winding road, the trees passing by, the feeling that it's only the two of us as we start to go up into the more mountainous part of the area surrounding Bayton, out where there's no more traffic. Just him and I, and the chilly night.

I press my cheek against his back, breathing in his scent, leather and the smell of the forest. He slows a little as the roads narrow and get more twisted, and the wind lessens, letting me breathe in the smell of the trees and the damp earth. Above us, the night sky is clear in a way it never was when I lived in Seattle. I can feel the hum of nature around us, the plants and green things, the trees and flowers. I can feel it in my blood, the way I think Eli must feel it in his–different, but similar.

Why do they think witches and shifters are so incompatible? I know the basest form of the answer–that shifters believe that witches, as in tune with nature as we are, will be able to control them in ways they won't be able to resist. That we'll make pets of them, familiars, without their consent and with no way for them to fight it. And maybe that's true, for some. There's evil in plenty of different types of people, and I'm sure witches are no different. But I can't help feeling that there's a kinship that both sides are missing.

That the fact that we're both such a part of nature–some witches more so than others–should make us more compatible, not less. That a witch like myself, or Delia, especially, should be a perfect fit for a shifter.

That maybe it's a part of why Eli and I feel so good together.

You should tell him that,a small part of my mind whispers. You could convince him of it. He might see it like you do, and then what? You wouldn't have to hide any longer.

But after what I thought of at dinner, I know I won't be able to bring myself to do it.

Eli keeps driving, further up into the trees. He stops his bike at the end of a barely paved road that's more like a path, killing the engine. "We'll have to walk a little bit from here," he says. "If that's alright. Nothin' your shoes can't handle," he adds, glancing at my ankle boots.

"They're the only boots I have," I confess. "I didn't have anything more suited to a motorcycle."

His mouth opens, as if he's about to say something, and then he stops himself. He hesitates, just a second, and then seemingly shakes off whatever he was thinking, smiling at me. "They'll do just fine," he reassures me. "Better those than sneakers–those could slip off the pegs. Think of it like ridin' a horse–you need somethin' to catch onto the stirrups."

"I've never done that," I admit. "Have you?"

"Oh, hell no." Eli laughs, pocketing his keys. "A horse would be able to smell the wolf on me a half-mile off. They spook as soon as I get close. Not in the cards for me."

He leads the way, taking me off of the path into the grass, up a hill. We walk for what feels like several minutes, until we reach the crest of the hill, and he stops.

"It's a beautiful view up here," he says softly, and there's a strange longing in his voice for something I'm not sure I understand. "I thought you might like to see it, too."

Beyond us, underneath the night sky and softly lit by the moon, is the forest beyond. It stretches out below, a dark canopy, and I can imagine what it would look like during other times of day–a sunrise, a warm afternoon, a sunset. I turn towards him, an overwhelming feeling washing over me that I'm afraid to examine too closely.

"Eli Evans," I murmur softly, reaching up to touch his chest, "for someone who doesn't know anything about planning a date, you've done an excellent job."

His hand touches my waist, urging me closer. "I was hopin' you'd say that," he murmurs, his voice a low rasp, as if not to disturb the silence of the forest all around us.

"What else were you hoping for?" I whisper, and he reaches up, gently brushing a piece of hair away from my face.

"Well–" His thumb skims over my cheekbone, light as a feather, and my heart starts to race. "I was hopin' I might be able to steal a kiss."

"You don't have to steal anything." I move closer, feeling the heat of his body against mine, enveloping me as I tilt my chin up. "I'm happy to give it."

"Even better, then."

His broad, rough hand cups my face, and he bends down, his lips pressing against mine. It's a slow kiss, unhurried, his lips moving over mine as if he's content just to kiss me like this, without going any further. His tongue slides over my lower lip, and I gasp softly, leaning into him as his other hand presses against my lower back and he groans.

"I'm not very good at bein' romantic," he murmurs, his mouth still close to mine. "And every time I get close to you, I feel like I want you so bad every other thought goes out the window. But I hadn't planned on takin' advantage of you out here."

"What did you plan on, then?" I look up at him, my heart still beating a quick rhythm in my chest, and I can't help but think that I might not mind if he wanted to take things further, out here in the woods. The memory of our picnic by the lake comes back to me, and a shiver of desire runs down my spine.

"I thought we could lay here and look at the stars. I like to do that sometimes, on my own. Thought it might be nice with someone else." His hand wraps around mine, fingers threading together, and he lowers himself to the grass, tugging me down along with him. I go easily, happy to play along.

We both lay back in the slightly damp grass, shrugging our jackets off to make pillows. I don't even care that I can feel the damp seeping through the back of my silk shirt–I'll have it dry-cleaned, or it could be ruined, for all I care. I'd rather have this moment, right now.

"There's a constellation for the wolves, you know," Eli says, his gaze searching the sky above us. "You can only see it in the southern hemisphere, though. I always wanted to go to one of the places where I might be able to catch sight of it."

"Why haven't you?" I ask curiously, and he shrugs.

"Money, partially. It's expensive to get clearance to fly internationally, as a shifter. And anytime you get on a plane, you gotta have proof you'll take a drug that will keep you from shiftin' mid-flight. And I'm not partial to takin' things like that, either. Maybe one day I'll do it, just for the chance. But I haven't yet."

"That's awful." I bite my lip. "I'm sorry things like that are demanded of you."

Eli shrugs. "It is what it is. I can see the reasonin', from a certain point of view. But not somethin' I've been willin' to do, just yet. And anyway, like I said. It's expensive, so I haven't been able to afford it."

"I don't know very many of the constellations," I admit. "Can you point them out for me?"

"I can." He moves a little closer, reaching for my hand. He lifts it along with his, finger overlaying mine, pointing. "There's the head of Canis Major–closest thing to a wolf in the sky, here. And there–Orion's Belt. And the Seven Sisters–"

His voice is low, soothing, the warmth of his hand enveloping mine sinking into my blood. I can feel it spreading through me, and I move closer. I can feel the hard line of his body against my side, solid and comforting, and I close my eyes for just a moment, wanting to soak it all in.

"Hey, there." Eli drops my hand, and I feel him turn onto his side, his fingers skimming along my cheek. It sends a shiver over my skin. "You can't see the stars with your eyes closed."

"I was just enjoying the moment." I turn towards him, reaching up to push his hair out of his face. "This is all very romantic, you know. I don't think you're as much of a bad boy as you like to make yourself out to be."

Eli winces slightly. "Well, there's things you don't know about me, darlin'. Some I think I might like it better if you didn't. But I'm glad you're enjoyin' yourself."

"I am." I move closer, my hand on his side, angling myself closer to him. I lean forward, brushing my mouth over his. More than you know.

He groans, his hand on my hip as he pulls me flush against him. I can feel that he's getting hard, but he doesn't grind against me, or try to push things further. He kisses me slowly, like he did before, his tongue sweeping over my lower lip before he pulls back.

His gaze searches mine for just a moment. And then, with one swift motion, he rolls onto his back and brings me with him, so that I'm straddling him in the grass.

"We haven't done it like this, yet." He looks up at me, something dark gleaming in his blue-grey eyes. "I like the idea of this view. You ridin' me, seein' all of you–and these–" He reaches up, lightly cupping my breasts in his hands through the silk of my shirt. "I'd enjoy watching these, while you ride me."

"Like this?" I roll my hips down onto him, startled at my sudden bravery. But he makes me feel beautiful, confident, like there's no question why a man like him would want someone like me. I don't feel shy and quiet with him, like I need to be careful of everything I say, so I don't get laughed at. If anything, I feel the exact opposite. Like I can say or do anything, and he'd still want me.

Eli groans, and I feel him twitch beneath me through his jeans, solid between my thighs. "Just like that, darlin'." He reaches up, tangling his fingers in my hair. "Come here."

He pulls my mouth down to his, one hand on my denim-clad hip while the other wraps in my hair, his fingers curling around the back of my neck. I moan softly at the feeling of him gripping me like that, holding me in his grasp as I slowly move against him, luxuriating in the pleasure of feeling him underneath me. I press my hands against his hard, solid chest, breathing in the scent of him, and when he tilts his hips upwards beneath me, I moan as the seam of my jeans rubs me in just the right way.

"I think I like this," Eli murmurs, a soft groan against my lips. "Makin' out like teenagers in the woods. Makes me feel a lot younger than I am."

"You're not that old," I tease, nipping softly at his lower lip. His fingers squeeze my hip, and I gasp, rocking against his hard length. The friction feels good, and I move again, wondering if I could come like this.

"That's right, darlin'," he groans, holding me down against him. "Ride me. Use me to get off, if you can."

It's like he read my mind, and a shiver of pleasure runs through me, every sense heightened. A wind blows past us, ruffling my hair around his face, and I feel the flex of Eli's muscles beneath me, hear his groan shift into a growl, as if being surrounded by nature is heightening all of this for him, too.

"Do you want to fuck me like this?" I breathe, letting myself be daring, letting myself ask exactly what I want to know. "Out here in the grass, in the trees–"

Eli's entire body tenses, and a growl rumbles up from his throat. I feel him go very still, his hands hard on my body, and I feel the tiniest flicker of fear. But not much. Not enough to stop,

I know he won't hurt me. Maybe it's a foolish thing, but I trust him.

"God, Wisteria, there's nothin' I want more," he murmurs against my mouth. "You don't know just how good that would feel. But after last time–" He sucks in a breath, hips lifting slightly, as if he can't help but move despite his efforts to do otherwise. "I'm not sure if I could control myself, out here like this."

"What do you mean?" I whisper. And I want to know. I really do.

"It makes me want to chase you." The words come out as a rumble, vibrating across my lips, his mouth still touching mine. I start to rock against him again without thinking, grinding against his cock, feeling the friction of my jeans between my thighs. My panties are soaked through, my clit slick with my arousal, and I moan helplessly against his mouth. "I want to shift, and hunt you. I want to run you down, tumble you into the dirt, and turn back into a man again and fuck you just like that." Eli's hand tightens in my hair, and his tongue slides into my mouth, hot and hungry, his cock throbbing beneath me. "I want to fuckin' knot you. I nearly did it, last time. And you can't take that, darlin'. No human woman can."

The jolt of pain that spreads through my chest at those last words startles me. I knew that, of course. But for some reason it hurts, hearing him say it.

"You could do the rest," I breathe. "Chase me. Hunt me. Fuck me just the way you're imagining–"

Eli's grip tightens, and I feel his lips pull back, hear the growl turn to a snarl. "Is that what you want, darlin'? For me to hunt you like prey? You want me to pin you down–"

He rolls me onto my back suddenly, his hands gripping my wrists, holding them above my head. His hips press down into mine, grinding against me, and it's what I need–it's exactly what I need. I arch underneath him, my back bowing, and I cry out as stars fill my vision and for an instant the entire world turns white around me as my body shudders with a shattering climax.

When I open my eyes, Eli's are silver.

"Wisteria." He's breathing hard, and I swear I feel sharp nails digging into my wrists. "Don't tempt me, sweetheart. I can't lose control. Not with you. I don't want this to end yet–this thing, between us. But if I don't think I can hold back around you–" He bends down, burying his face in my throat, breathing me in. A fresh wave of desire washes over me, feeling him nuzzle my throat, and I whimper, arching against him.

He moans, shuddering. "You make me so fuckin' hard. My knot–" He lets out another keening moan, his body taut above mine. "God, it fuckin' hurts, almost. How turned on you get me. If you felt it right now–"

"Then let me." I shift my weight suddenly, urging him to roll over, onto his back. To my surprise, he does, almost as if I've caught him off guard. "Let me make it better."

Eli looks up at me, those silver eyes glinting in the moonlight. His lips are parted, and I can see that his canines have lengthened, his teeth sharper than before. Another ripple of lust washes over me. Not fear, but desire.

He might be half-monster. But for now, for tonight–he's my monster.

My wolf.

"Wisteria." He's breathing hard as I press my lips to his throat, feeling his pulse leap there. "Maybe we should go back. Let me cool off–"

"You won't hurt me." I let go of his hands, running my fingers through his hair as I look up at him. "I trust you."

Eli's eyes lock with mine, his pupils dark and wide, the silver ring around them brighter than ever. "Maybe you shouldn't."

"But I do." I start to move down his body slowly, gently easing up the edge of his sweater with my hands, until his ridged abs are exposed and I can run my mouth over the taut flesh. I feel him shudder, feel his body flex under me, and his hands curl into the grass, digging up clods of it with his nails as his hips arch upwards. "You're afraid of knotting me like this?"

Eli nods, speechless. I run my tongue down the trail of hair from his navel to his jeans, and he lets out a groan that ends on a whimper. An answering shudder ripples through me, at the knowledge of how completely undone he is. How much he wants me. All of this is for me.

His desire. His need. His fraying self-control. For me.

"You can't hurt me if I use my mouth." I reach down, undoing the button of his jeans. Eli lets out a shuddering laugh.

"Sure I could, if I wasn't careful–"

"Not like this. I'm in control. And you're going to lie there, and let me make you come." I drag his zipper down, slowly, the side of my hand rubbing against the thick ridge of his cock. Eli lets out another whimpering moan. "Don't you want to come?"

His head falls back, neck arching as I curl my fingers into the gap of his jeans. "Yes," he breathes. "Fuck, Wisteria. Yes." A shudder runs through him, and I slip my hand into his boxers, nearly flinching at the heat of his cock as it fills my hand. "God, oh fuck–"

He's slick with pre-cum already, his boxers wet as I slip him free. I wrap my hand around the thick shaft, my fingers not quite touching, and I make myself comfortable between his thighs as I lower my lips to the head of his cock.

"I'll take care of you," I murmur softly, echoing his words from earlier without meaning to. "You're so hard." I let my fingers slide down, brushing against his knot, and Eli gasps. "You need me to make this better, don't you?"

"I–" He sucks in another breath, past the ability to speak. "Wisteria–"

The sound of my name on his lips sends another wave of pleasure through me. I lean down, brushing my lips over the head of his cock, and when I swirl my tongue around it, the sound he makes is one I'm certain I'll never forget.

"I love the way you taste," I breathe, rubbing my tongue just beneath the tip, relishing the way his hips jerk underneath me. "I could do this all night."

"I won't last all night. Fuck–" Eli is breathless, every word choked out. "God, Wisteria, you're gonna make me come too fast–"

"You come as fast as you want to." I trail my tongue downwards, lapping up the pre-cum as I slide my hand down further, wrapping my fingers around his knot. It's so taut that I can't imagine that it's not hurting him. "This is about you. All about you." I look up, briefly, just long enough to lock eyes with him. "You can return the favor later," I whisper teasingly.

And then I press my fingers into his knot, sliding my mouth down around his cock, and I give him everything that I can feel he needs.

The sound Eli lets out is nearly a howl. It's the only way I can think of to describe it, a snarl of pleasure that rises in pitch, a sound so primal that I can feel my own body respond. I take as much of him as I can in my mouth, until he pushes into the back of my throat, rubbing my fingers along his swollen knot in time with the rhythm. And I can feel what it's doing to him. Every shudder, every twitch, as he strains not to fuck my mouth harder than what I can take, his fingers digging deep grooves in the earth. I look up at his face, taut with such pleasure that I can hardly believe it's me doing this to him–and I feel his hand at the back of my hair.

"I'm gonna come, Wisteria," he breathes. "Wanted–to–warn you–this time–oh god–"

He cries out again, that sound that's something like pleasure mingled with pain, and I feel him go stiff in my mouth, throbbing on my tongue. I wrap my hand around his knot, squeezing as I suck, lashing my tongue along his shaft–and I feel the instant he loses control.

Heat spurts across my tongue, thick and salty, and I swallow it down. It's too much, and I feel some of it slipping from the corner of my mouth, until I can't swallow any more and I pull back, still stroking him as he spurts onto the grass.

I've never seen anything like him. His muscles flex, back bowing, cock still jetting cum as he cries out my name again and again, a wild thing in my hands–and in this moment, he's all mine.

Eli slumps back against the grass, panting hard. I can see the cords in his throat standing out, his neck and face flushed, and he doesn't open his eyes for a long moment. I move from between his legs, lying next to him in the grass again, and Eli draws a long, shuddering breath.

"I could watch you come all night," I whisper, and he lets out a shaky laugh.

"I think that could be arranged." He reaches down, tucking himself back in as he zips his jeans, and turns to look at me. His eyes are that stormy blue again, and he smiles, a lazy, sleepy smile that tugs at something in my chest. "Do you wanna go back, now? Want me to take you to bed, and lick that sweet pussy until you come as hard as you just made me. And then–"

His voice is still that low growl, his eyes full of so much promise that it makes my heart race. But I slide closer, my arm over his hard stomach, and rest my head on his shoulder.

"Let's watch the stars a little longer," I say softly. "And then we can go back to my place, and you can do all those things to me. If you still want to."

I wait for him to say we should leave now. That lying here and snuggling in the grass after I gave him a blowjob is too intimate.

But his arm tightens around me, holding me there. I feel his breath ruffle my hair, mingling warmly with the cool breeze still blowing around us. I breathe in the forest scent of him, warm and rich, and close my eyes.

If I'm not careful, I could fall for this man.

Or maybe it's too late, and I've already started to fall.