Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Louise awoke to the sound of someone slowly pulling the curtains open, casting sunlight in her face. Groaning, she covered her face with the sheets.

"My apologies, my lady." Bethany twitched the curtain back while opening the other one, this time a little more briskly. "I didn't want to wake you."

"Well, you did." Louise lowered the sheets, but there were still dots dancing in front of her eyes. Why did she have to sleep on the side of the house where the sun came in first thing in the morning? "You could have a circus come through here, and you would wake me up."

Bethany smiled.

"I'm sure that would be a sight, you getting woken up by an elephant or a tiger standing by the bed."

"God, that would be terrifying." Louise couldn't help but giggle. "Although it would be funny to see how Aunt Harriet would cope with it."

Bethany laughed.

"I'm sure that would be a sight to see. Although I wouldn't want to be the person to clean up the mess afterward. That's far too much for me."

"Same here." Louise rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling. "I suppose I'm going to have to stay in my room today. Otherwise, I'm going to be sneaking around the house trying to avoid Aunt Harriet and Lord Mansfield."

"Are they still trying to have a conversation with you about where you were yesterday?"

"Pretty much."

Louise wished that her aunt would leave her alone. It was clear that the older woman wasn't happy about her spending time with a gentleman who wasn't approved by her. Even though Louise reminded her that she went to see Lara instead, it was like Aunt Harriet wasn't listening.

It was scary that she was so worked up about Lara's father chaperoning his own daughter while Louise was present. She kept saying that it was bad, and that Louise was going to end up with a ruined reputation. Louise had no idea what was going on with that; she had never given anyone cause for concern with her behavior.

But Aunt Harriet seemed adamant that Chesterfield would treat her like she was a harlot who had no morals. And Mansfield wasn't much better; the one time he did try to talk to her, it just started off with talking about how gentlemen liked to take advantage of young, innocent women who didn't know much about the world. Louise had just felt insulted that they saw her with no mind of her own just because she was unmarried at her age.

She had wanted to give Mansfield a tongue-lashing for that, but she had simply walked out, gone to her bedchamber, and locked the door. Her meals had been brought up for her, and Louise wondered how long she could get away with it.

Somehow, the cook had been able to send up some food, which was better than when Louise was a child, and she had been considered naughty. Aunt Harriet thought naughty children shouldn't eat, but she didn't dare do that with Louise now she was grown. Not when Louise was capable of standing up for herself.

She had learned to do pretty good scoldings from her aunt, so Louise could give it back when she wanted to. But that just made things more volatile between them, which wasn't a good idea. Louise just wanted a harmonious household, but that hadn't existed since her parents died. It was like Aunt Harriet didn't know what harmonious was.

"Do you think I could get away with having my breakfast up here?" Louise asked as Bethany moved around the room. "Or has Aunt Harriet told Mrs. Charleston that she isn't to do it anymore?"

"I don't know, but I'm sure Lady Holmes has told Mrs. Charleston not to, so you come downstairs. I haven't been in the kitchen yet."

"Haven't you had your breakfast?"

"I mean not properly. I just grabbed a roll and butter and took it with me." Bethany grinned. "Mrs. Latimer isn't going to be happy with all the crumbs in the laundry room, but it was quicker to eat while doing my chores."

Harriet could see the housekeeper getting annoyed over that. Sighing, she sat up and ran her fingers through her hair, catching on a tangle. She was definitely going to need to brush her hair shortly.

"I suppose I'm going to have to face my aunt after yesterday," she sighed. "This is going to be one of the more awkward mornings."

"And Lord Mansfield arrived about ten minutes ago. He's having breakfast with Lady Holmes right now."

Louise groaned.

"Does he really have to be here? I swear he should just move in at this point. He's constantly around the house."

"I think he's that eager to marry Lady Holmes."

"I don't know why. Aunt Harriet is still attractive, but she's not exactly a delight to be around."

"She is different around people who aren't you, though," Bethany pointed out. "Maybe he sees something you don't."

Louise wondered if that was the case. It was interesting, if she was honest, watching her aunt with this younger man and wondering how long it would be before Aunt Harriet showed her true nature. Mansfield wouldn't be hanging around once he knew how horrible she was.

Then again, she had shown some of that behavior in front of him before whenever Louise was around, so maybe he didn't care. Maybe he had a nasty streak himself, and that's why they got along so well. Louise wouldn't be surprised at this point.

"I suppose I'd better get up and get dressed, then." Louise pulled the sheets aside and got out of bed. "And then I'll come straight back to my room. At least Aunt Harriet never comes in here, although she barges into the rest of the rooms."

"You might have an escape later on today."

"What do you mean by that?"

Bethany reached into the pocket of her apron and brought out a letter, which she held out to her mistress.

"I got this from Fletcher when he collected the post. He wanted you to have it before your aunt got a hold of it."

"I've got a letter?" Louise frowned. "Who's it from?"

"I don't know, I don't recognize the coat of arms on the seal."

Curious, Louise took the letter and turned it over. She didn't recognize the mark on the seal, either. Who could be writing to her?

Maybe it was from the Earl of Chesterfield. Maybe he was inviting her out. But Louise discarded the thought. Of course, he wouldn't be writing to her; that wasn't something that he would do. Sighing, she opened the letter and scanned the contents.

She was nearly right.

"It's from Lara Simmons."

"Oh, really?" Bethany looked interested. "What does she say?"

"She's thanking me for coming over yesterday, and now she's inviting me to tea at the park this afternoon. She's going with her father and brother, and she would like me to come along as well."

For someone who said she was shy and normally unable to talk to people so confidently, Lara had certainly hit the ground running. She was showing no signs of being shy in her letter. Maybe she was trying to be confident for herself, or maybe she was comfortable enough to invite Louise out.

A ripple of something fluttered in her belly, and Louise realized that she was excited. Not for meeting Lara, though, and she did feel a little bad about that.

She was going to see Lord Chesterfield again.

The time she spent with the earl had been very pleasant. Louise had remembered that she was there for Lara, but Chesterfield had also been there and they had talked about their various interests. Much like Lara, he was easy to talk to, and they had a lot of things in common. Louise hadn't expected to have anything in common with someone much older than her, nor had she expected to enjoy her time with him.

He was closer to Aunt Harriet's age, but he was so kind and mild-mannered that Louise wondered if she was dreaming. And when he smiled at her, it made her feel rather flustered, and she kept noticing how her tight corset caused her to struggle to breathe.

And she had a chance to be in his company again? Louise wondered if she was being daft and told herself not to get too excited. She wasn't there for the earl.

And yet…

"My lady?" Bethany peered at her. "Are you all right?"

"Oh!" Louise hadn't realized that she had just been staring at the letter. "I…I'm just glad that I've got something to do this afternoon. I'm not used to having social engagements."

Bethany smiled.

"I'm sure the Earl of Chesterfield will make it an interesting afternoon for you."

"What?" Louise blinked. "What makes you say that?"

"I saw how you two were interacting yesterday. I haven't seen you that animated in a long time. And he seemed equally taken with you." Bethany winked. "I think he likes you."

He liked her? Louise didn't think that was possible. He was a father, closer to Aunt Harriet's age. Why would he like her like that? Louise bit her lip.

"Do you think so?"

"I'm pretty sure."

"You don't think he's going to disappear like everyone else when he doesn't find me interesting anymore? That he's going to stay around once he gets bored of me?"

"I'm surprised that's what you think of rather than the age gap. He's…what, fifteen years older than you?"

Louise was very aware of that, but she was surprised that it didn't bother her at all. It had given her some cause for concern with her initial attraction to him, but the longer she spent in his company, the more she realized that it wasn't a problem.

She was more worried about Chesterfield avoiding her like every other gentleman who had been in her company. Would his children do the same? Lara seemed eager to be around Louise, but Simmons was a little more reserved. What if they turned their backs on her, too?

Louise knew it was a bit too much to worry about, but given her past, she felt like she had a reason to.

"You should make the most of it," Bethany said.

"Make the most of what?"

"Being around the earl. If he likes you and you enjoy being around him, then you should make the most of it. There's nothing wrong with doing something for yourself if it makes you happy."

"I suppose," Louise mused. "Although I'm wondering how I'm going to get around it with Aunt Harriet already opposing it."

"You're at an age where you can have a bit more freedom. Don't be afraid to stand up to her." Bethany went over to the washstand. "I know it will be hard, but you'll be able to do it, my lady."

Louise hoped so, too. She wasn't the type to have a confrontation, but she would do it if she had to. Maybe now was the time to stop walking around wondering if Aunt Harriet was going to ruin things for her.

She did that regardless of the situation. Nothing was going to change, except maybe Louise standing up for herself.

***

Louise felt a little better after she had washed and dressed, brushing her hair and tying it back so they could pin it to the back of her head. Her hair was a little too fluffy this morning, but she and Bethany managed to get it to stay down and make her look more presentable. It felt like Louise was putting on her battle garb to go and face her aunt, which felt odd to think about.

She didn't like that she had to feel this way in the house she had grown up in. But with her aunt behaving as she was and treating Louise like a child who didn't know how people behaved, it felt like a battle every day trying to get something of her own. Normally, Louise would hide away and focus on her books—she had lost her confidence when it came to talking to people, and books couldn't harm her—but this time, she wasn't going to avoid anyone.

She was going to sit around and behave like nothing was wrong. Bide her time until she could leave to go to the park near Lara's house to meet them. Bethany had everything laid out and ready before Louise had left the room so they could get her changed and head out as soon as possible.

Aunt Harriet wasn't going to stop her, no matter what she said. For the first time in ages, Louise felt like someone had lit a fire under her, and she was going to make the most of it. She wasn't going to hide away and let her aunt corner her in one part of the house. She was not a prisoner, despite how it felt like that at times.

Not today.

As she left her bedchamber and headed downstairs, Louise wondered what had happened to her for this to occur. Was it because she was fed up with being treated in this way by Aunt Harriet? Or was it because she felt a spark of hope being around the Earl of Chesterfield? Louise never thought it would happen again, that a gentleman would fire up her blood and make her stand a little taller.

He hadn't even done anything, either. All he had done was simply talk to her and be respectful. There was never anything romantic about their interactions. He just treated her like a welcomed guest.

And yet Louise remembered the way her heart stumbled and missed a few beats to the point she felt lightheaded around him, especially when he smiled. Chesterfield was, without a doubt, a very handsome man, and he didn't seem to be aware of it. The fact that he was much older than her never crossed Louise's mind as a problem, which surprised her. She had never thought that she would be attracted to someone much older than her.

Yet, it seemed to be happening. Louise wasn't about to argue with it. She knew, given her past, that she needed to grasp onto it and keep it going as much as possible. If there was something going on, it should be nurtured. If there wasn't, and it was just her active imagination, then Louise would be a little embarrassed but she could move on.

Hopefully, it wouldn't be ruined like her early days in the ton when eligible gentlemen avoided her like the plague. Louise didn't want to go through that again.

Her stomach growled as she got downstairs and headed into the dining room. She was looking forward to having something to eat. She was always hungry first thing in the morning, but trying to eat as soon as she rolled out of bed was difficult as it didn't taste nice. For some reason, it always tasted like she was eating dust. But now, Louise was ready to eat anything.

She stopped when she saw that Aunt Harriet was already up and eating her breakfast, but she wasn't alone. Lord Mansfield was sitting across from her, buttering a bread roll with sausages and eggs on the plate in front of him. He looked up and saw Louise first, and he immediately stood up and bowed.

"Lady Louise."

Then he realized that he was still holding the roll and knife, and he hurriedly put them down. Louise didn't know why she found that so amusing. Biting her lip to fight back a smile, she gave him a nod and went to her chair. She was about to sit down when Aunt Harriet spoke.

"Why don't you go and sit next to Lord Mansfield, Louise?" she asked. "I think you two have something to talk about."

"What do we have to talk about?" Louise ignored her aunt's suggestion and sat down, keeping her position an equal distance between the other two at the table. "Isn't it a bit early for visitors, Aunt Harriet? You always said we should never have any visitors before ten in the morning."

"Well, this is different. And we didn't get to discuss it yesterday before you stormed off like a child." Aunt Harriet pressed her lips together. "You insulted Lord Mansfield the night of the ball, and I think you need to make amends."

For a moment, Louise wondered what she was talking about. Then she remembered the ball. Somehow, despite it only being a couple of nights ago, she had completely forgotten that she had attended. And that Aunt Harriet had wanted her to be accompanied by Mansfield. She reached for a bread roll on the plate in the middle of the table.

"I did tell you that I had a chaperone, and I didn't need to be hovered over. Things were perfectly fine."

"But you were supposed to be grateful and respectful toward Lord Mansfield!" Aunt Harriet insisted sharply. "Instead you were rude and then ran away from him. That's not how I raised you."

Louise was tempted to point out that her aunt never raised her, but she decided against it. That was probably not a good idea, and Louise didn't want to ruin her day further.

"I wouldn't say that I was rude, Aunt Harriet. Lord Mansfield was a little…forceful in his behavior toward me," she said as she shot a glance at the earl, "and it made me uncomfortable, especially when I expressed my wish that he didn't follow me around and hover over me."

Mansfield frowned.

"I wouldn't have been hovering. We just wanted to make sure that you were safe."

"And I'm not a child, my lord. You didn't need to treat me like one and behave like a parent. I'm perfectly old enough to be at a ball without getting into trouble."

Mansfield's eyes narrowed. He looked annoyed. Aunt Harriet gasped.

"How dare you speak to Lord Mansfield like that, Louise?"

"That's how it came across to me, Aunt. You're constantly treating me like I'm a little girl who doesn't know the world." Louise broke up the roll and started to butter it. "I'm getting closer to thirty with every passing year. I think it's safe to say that I'm perfectly fine when it comes to social gatherings. I'm not a wallflower, as such, and I can hold my own. Having someone hover over me, against my consent, is just going to ruin the evening for me."

"But…"

"I'm sure you want me to find a husband and get out of the house sooner rather than later," Louise shot back. "How am I supposed to do that with your gentleman friend standing at my shoulder?"

That made Mansfield sit up, and Louise saw him and Aunt Harriet exchange glances. What was that about? Then Aunt Harriet cleared her throat and picked up her toast.

"Well, if that's how you feel about it, you can make it up to Lord Mansfield."

"Make it up to him?" Louise frowned. "What are you saying?"

"You can take Lord Mansfield out for tea this afternoon. I know you like going to that tearoom near the park most days." Aunt Harriet shrugged. "Then you can go to the art gallery on The Strand that Lord Mansfield has wanted to visit. There's a viewing at four, so the public can see all the pieces and bid on them. I have things to attend to, so you can go with him as an apology for the way you spoke to him."

Louise couldn't believe what she was hearing. Why was this being decided without her knowledge? It was as if Aunt Harriet expected her to say yes and go along with it without any argument. She caught sight of a slight smile from Mansfield, and that made her more determined that it wasn't going to happen. She didn't want to make friends with her aunt's gentleman friend, not today.

Maybe not ever.

Thankfully, she had a get-out clause, and Louise didn't hesitate in using it.

"I'm afraid that I can't do either of those things, Aunt Harriet. I'm not going to be available."

Aunt Harriet snorted.

"Really? You're going to be unavailable. Don't start playing the card with me, Louise."

"It's true. I'm going to be meeting the Earl of Chesterfield and his family in the park this afternoon. We arranged it yesterday," Louise crossed her fingers under the table at that little lie, "and you know that previous engagements should be kept."

Both Aunt Harriet and Mansfield looked shocked. Mansfield spluttered.

"You…you're going to be around that man?"

"What's wrong with him?"

"He's just taking advantage of you! That's why! You shouldn't be around someone like that!"

Louise almost burst out laughing. It sounded ridiculous.

"Actually, it was his daughter who invited me to walk out with them. I'm her guest, not her father's. He and her brother are merely our chaperones, nothing more."

"Even so…"

"You are not my parent, Lord Mansfield," Louise cut in with a hard glare in his direction. "You do not get to dictate who my friends are. I know you are a parent-figure to me, Aunt Harriet, but you do realize that it would look bad on all of us if I go to another engagement when I already have one set up. I'm making friends, which you should be commending me for, not tearing me down and being unkind about how I'm not going to keep them."

"I wasn't…"Aunt Harriet began, but Louise spoke over her.

"You do this all the time. Every time I mention having new friends, you say that I shouldn't consider them friends as they'll avoid me after a while. You also try to stop me from going out and interacting with people, and yet you clearly don't want me around. We seem to live in the same house, and you keep telling me to keep out of the way. Can't you make up your mind what you want from me?"

Aunt Harriet's face was going bright red. Louise could tell that she was going to lose her temper. Mansfield looked bewildered that Louise was speaking out. Putting the bread roll down, Louise stood up.

"I think I'll take my breakfast in my room, Chalmers," she said to the footman. "Ask the cook if she can prepare something for me."

"She's not having breakfast in her room," Aunt Harriet snapped. "We're going to sit here like a family."

Louise scoffed at that.

"You've never considered me family, so why start now. Lord Mansfield has to know that by now, so you shouldn't be ashamed of how you feel about me. I'm going to have my breakfast, and then I'm going to get things prepared for later."

"But I…"

"I've already agreed to go, and you can't stop me," Louise said quietly. "If you don't like it, you can keep it to yourself. The sooner I leave the house, the better, right?"

She left the room, feeling her whole body shaking. Louise had argued with her aunt before, but this was something else. And she couldn't believe that she had managed to get through that without her resolve breaking.

She needed to get back to her bedchamber before she collapsed. And her composure needed to return. If Louise broke now, Aunt Harriet would pounce on it. She always did.

Louise would not allow that to happen.