Chapter 8

Chapter 8

"Are you coming to dinner, Father?"

Charles barely acknowledged the words as he scribbled down the numbers he had stored in his head. It had taken him three attempts to count up the numbers mentally without writing them down, and he wanted to get them written on paper before he completely forgot them. Unlike his children, numbers were a bit of a struggle for Charles.

Once that was finally done, he put his quill down and sat back with a heavy sigh. Archie chuckled.

"You're still struggling with all of that?"

"You know that it's not as easy for me, Archie. The letters and numbers still look like they're not in the right order even when I write them down."

"I've never met a person who had such beautiful handwriting but with the most atrocious spelling."

Charles glared at his son. The boy knew how sensitive his father was about his handwriting and inability to properly comprehend numbers. He could add them up together, but it was a little slower than everyone else. It took him twice as long, and it gave Charles a headache.

"Why don't you ask Mr. Evans to sort it all out for you, Father?" Archie asked. "He's our estate manager, and it's his job to look after everything, including the accounts."

"Well, he's not here today, and I'm perfectly capable of looking after the accounts myself," Charles said tightly.

"Do you want me or Lara to help you later? We can double-check things for you, if you like?"

Charles wanted to snap and tell him that it wasn't necessary—this was still a sore spot for him—but then he managed to stop himself. It was only his son trying to be kind and helpful, knowing how much his father struggled. Mary had done the same thing; she always looked out for Charles and helped him out with whatever he needed without complaint. Charles had been forever grateful for her help.

But she wasn't here anymore. And she hadn't been here for a long time. Charles had to remember that, and that he couldn't rely on his memories forever. He should also not be embarrassed to ask for help, either, and if Archie was offering…

"All right. Why don't you two do it after dinner? I think it's mostly in order, but if you can check for me…"

"Of course, Father. Whatever you need." Archie nodded. "You can rely on Lara and myself."

Charles knew that. Despite their young years, his children were reliable. To him, at least. They were loyal and stood by him the whole time. It was not something they should do at their young age, but Charles was grateful that the three of them were close and they could look after each other. Archie had been adamant about doing that ever since their mother died, and Lara had followed suit. They would always stand by their father if he needed it.

Charles felt eternally grateful for having such wonderful children.

"I'm coming to dinner." He got to his feet. "We don't need to change or stand on ceremony, do we? It's just the three of us."

"That's what Lara said, but I just wanted to check," Archie grunted. "I don't mind myself, but you never know when Aunt Elizabeth is going to turn up and bother us."

Charles frowned.

"You shouldn't be so harsh about your aunt. She just wants to make sure you two are all right."

Archie scoffed out a laugh.

"Don't play innocent with me, Father. We all know that she's only here for you. We're just an afterthought."

"That's not true."

"We've all seen it. Even Lucy, and she's upset that her mother is paying her uncle more attention than her own father. You know how close she is to Uncle Harvey."

Charles couldn't argue with that, and he knew that Archie was right. Elizabeth was putting too much of her focus on him. She had been like that since they first met years ago when they were young and unmarried. Charles had been aware that Elizabeth expected him to ask her permission to court, but he hadn't seen Elizabeth like that at all.

She wasn't what he was looking for in a future wife. Certainly, she was beautiful, and that had never changed, but there was something about her personality that rubbed him the wrong way.

Then Mary had come along for her first Season a couple of years later, and Charles fell hard. She was stunning, and he couldn't think of anyone else he would rather be with. Elizabeth hadn't been happy that she had been ignored for her younger sister, but she accepted it.

Did she think that there might be a chance between them now that Mary was gone? Charles hoped that she wasn't thinking like that; Elizabeth was still married, and Harvey was not going anywhere. His close friend also adored Elizabeth and would give her anything, so he would be broken-hearted. Charles would never do that to Harvey.

Hopefully, Elizabeth would realize that she was being silly and stop with her interactions. Then again, it had been five years, and it hadn't slowed down yet.

"Well, I'm sure we can entertain ourselves without your aunt here." Charles moved around the desk and joined his son as Archie moved toward the door. "You and Lara are good at making the entertainment when you want to."

"Charming," Archie muttered.

"You know what I mean. Anyway, I think Lara's going to be doing all the talking tonight. I don't think she's stopped all day."

"She has, but she's started up again now while we're waiting for dinner." Archie left the study first, Charles closing the door behind them. "She's still talking about Lady Louise and how nice she is."

Charles smiled.

"Well, I'm not surprised. The woman had an effect on her, that's for certain."

"She's probably just grateful that someone rescued her from those blaggards last night. It will fade eventually."

Charles doubted it. Lara was not that type of person. And, if he was honest with himself, he was hoping that his daughter didn't lose interest in the beautiful young woman who had stood up for her at the ball. That meant Lady Louise would be coming over more often to see Lara.

Which meant that Charles would see her again.

There was no denying to himself that he was attracted to Lady Louise. There was something sweet and gentle about her that reminded him of Mary, but there was a fire in her eyes and a resolute stance that was very different. It kept drawing him to her despite everything, and Charles found himself wanting to be around her.

He shouldn't be thinking about that, nor about spending time with a woman far younger than him. She was not quite young enough to be his daughter, but she was cutting it fine, according to the age Lady Louise told him. That was enough for Charles to know that this wasn't a good idea.

Even so…

He and Archie joined Lara in the dining room, and they sat down to dinner. Lara looked more relaxed and happier than she had been that morning, smiling at her father across the table as she cut into her lamb.

"Do you think we can invite Lady Louise over more often, Father?" she asked.

Charles couldn't help but laugh as he waited for the wine to be poured out.

"Didn't you get an answer from me earlier, Lara? I said that I won't mind if you invite your friends over, especially if they make you feel better."

"Well, I was just checking." Lara cast him a sly smile. "After all, I'm not going to be the only one who would be happy to see her."

"What do you mean by that?"

"I saw how you were around her, Father. You could barely take your eyes off her."

Charles fumbled with his fork, which ended up falling to the floor. The sound of it clattering on the boards echoed around the room. Immediately, one of the footmen was there and picked it up for him.

"Would you like me to get you another fork, my lord?"

"Yes, please."

The footman moved away, returning almost instantly with a clean fork. Charles took it and managed to keep a hold on it as he placed it on the table. Then he looked at his children, who both smirked at him.

"What are you talking about? That wasn't what happened at all."

"No?" Lara giggled. "I know she was here to see me, but I had a feeling that if I left the two of you alone, she wouldn't have minded at all."

"Lara! Don't talk like that!"

"What? I'm merely stating an observation."

"She's right, Father," Archie chimed in, munching around a piece of potato before swallowing. "I could tell that there was something between the two of you."

Charles frowned. What were they…?

"Are you saying that I found Lady Louise attractive? There's fifteen years between us, Archie."

"Since when has that stopped anyone, Father?" Lara pointed out. "And we're not asking you to marry her immediately. We just noticed that you found her attractive."

Charles groaned.

"May I remind the two of you that I'm your father? We shouldn't be talking about things like this."

"We're all grown up, aren't we?" Lara gestured at her brother and then at herself, waving her fork around. "And we both want to see you happy."

"You're deciding that after meeting a woman twice?"

"Well, it's the first time you've found someone interesting since Mother died. Why not explore it a little?" Lara popped another piece of lamb into her mouth, speaking around her mouthful.

"I love you, Father, but you've been so focused on the two of us that you haven't paid attention to yourself. It's only fair that you have something interesting happening in your life rather than ours. And I like Lady Louise. I think she would actually be good for you."

Charles didn't know what to say to that. He hadn't considered marriage for a long time, thinking that Mary would be it for him. Marrying someone else hadn't even crossed his mind. He thought they were fine. But his children were pushing him to be romantic with someone nearer their age?

The thought did make his pulse skip a beat, but he would not entertain it.

Charles looked at Archie, who was spearing some vegetables and potato onto his fork.

"What do you think, Archie?"

Archie shrugged.

"I will admit that I was a bit wary at the start, mostly due to her status compared to ours. She is past the marriageable age, after all…"

"We're not talking about marriage, are we?" Charles reminded him.

"However, I saw how you were around Lady Louise, and I haven't seen you like that in a long time."

"Like how?"

"I don't know. Different. Better, if that makes sense." Archie reached for his glass. "Maybe it's worth finding out more about her. If Lara likes her, and you seem to be interested…"

"I'm not interested," Charles insisted.

But both of his children gave him knowing smiles, and Charles knew that he hadn't sounded convincing.

***

Charles sat on the window seat and looked out across the gardens. Or what he could see, anyway; it was pitch black, and while he could see slight shapes, he couldn't really recall what was out there beyond the ring of candlelight coming from the windows. Even his reflection was getting in the way of looking.

There were days in the past when he could sit by a window with his wife, and they would watch the sunset together. Then, they would go out onto the lawn with the children and watch the stars come out. Charles had enjoyed those. It was worth being really tired the next day.

The stars would certainly be out right now. Maybe he should wander out and have a look at them, recall the old days.

Did Lady Louise do something similar? Did she go outside and just stare up at the night sky?

You shouldn't be thinking about Lady Louise Price like that. She didn't come over to your house to be stared at like a piece of meat.

I didn't stare. Maybe a little.

Charles knew he would be lying to himself if he didn't admit that he had been thinking about Lady Louise for most of the day. When he let his mind wander, she was there, almost waiting for him with that lovely smile.

Charles hadn't expected for anything to happen when he met her, but the fact that he was reacting to her presence—and his children had noticed it—was putting him on edge. That wasn't right. How could he find someone attractive after his wife?

Then again, Mary would tell him to stop being so stupid. She had said before that nobody could stop a gentleman looking at an attractive lady as long as they were loyal to their loved one. Charles had always done that. But he had never looked at another woman as he just wanted to stare at his wife.

What would she be thinking about him now? That he was a fool for ignoring what he was thinking about Lady Louise? He was a widower, and it had been five years since Mary's passing. There was nothing wrong with him finding a woman attractive now.

But it still felt like a guilty thing to do.

Something nudging his leg made Charles look away from the window, and he saw Oscar standing beside him. The big animal sat and rested his head on Charles' thigh. Charles smiled and stroked his pet's head.

"You finally calming down for the night, boy?"

"He'd better," Duffy grunted as he laid out Charles' things for the next day. "He's been running circles around everyone. I think it's the excitement of having someone new in the house."

"But Lady Louise left hours ago."

"It takes him that long to calm down. You know that, my lord."

Charles did know. Oscar was a loyal dog, but he could get a bit manic. Especially around people he didn't recognize. And he was rather intimidating when people hadn't met him before due to his size. Charles scratched Oscar behind the ears.

"At least he mostly behaved himself around Lady Louise and her maid. If you don't count the part where he nearly knocked Lady Louise over. It's a good thing he didn't spoil her dress."

"Oscar's harmless, my lord."

"We know that, but they don't. The poor maid was scared out of her wits."

Duffy rubbed the back of his neck and looked a little sheepish.

"I would have asked her if she was all right, but she looked like she would rather not talk about it. Poor thing looked embarrassed about being scared of a dog."

"It's a normal thing to be scared of an animal, Duffy," Charles pointed out. "We might love animals, but not everyone is the same. Oscar is a big dog, and he's very intimidating when you meet him for the first time. Especially with no warning."

"Well, hopefully, they'll know that Oscar is a softie in no time. Unless they value their gowns," Duffy added with a chuckle.

Charles wasn't going to argue with that. Oscar was slobbering a lot on his breeches. Nudging his dog off him, Charles stood up.

"I'll take him for a quick walk outside before I retire, Duffy. I'll make sure he's worn out properly before he goes to his bed."

"Very good, my lord." Duffy paused. "Forgive me for asking, my lord, but is Lady Louise going to visit again?"

"I assume so. My daughter seems very keen to meet with her again." Charles raised his eyebrows. "Why are you interested, Duffy?"

"I…well…" Duffy cleared his throat. "I was just curious, that's all."

Charles didn't need to guess why his valet was becoming slightly bashful. He had seen the way Duffy had looked at Bethany. It had been fleeting, and the two of them hadn't spoken, but Duffy had been caught staring at her.

Charles could see why—Bethany was a pretty young woman—and it was nice to see Duffy actually paying attention to someone. He was so focused on his job that young ladies giggling over him just seemed to pass him by. Charles wasn't one to get involved in his servants' private lives, but Duffy was like an old friend as much as his valet.

Everyone deserved some happiness.

Why did that bring up another image of Lady Louise into his head?

"My lord?" Duffy was peering at him. "You're…you're looking a little…odd."

"Hmm?"

"I thought you were going to take Oscar for a walk." Duffy gestured at the dog, who was now sitting by the door, his long tongue hanging out. "Are you going, or am I doing it?"

"No, I'm doing it." Charles rubbed a hand over his face. "I'm just…thinking, that's all."

Duffy smiled.

"Thinking about Lady Louise Price?"

"What makes you think that?"

"I saw how you were around her, my lord. It's been a while since I've seen you smile like that. I think everyone in the household noticed."

Charles groaned. Now, it wasn't just his children talking about it. He hadn't realized that it had been noticeable.

"You're not going to start talking to me about how it would be nice to have another countess around here as well, are you?"

"As well?"

"My children didn't quite say that, but it was close enough. I think they would like to see me with someone else."

Duffy spread his hands.

"They're your children. Of course, they want to see you happy."

"But what about them?"

"They're grown up now. You can focus on yourself a bit more. And if you like someone, why not explore it?"

Charles frowned. His children had said the same thing over dinner. Had they been talking to Duffy about it?

"She is a lot younger than me, Duffy. That's not a good idea."

"So what? Since when has age come into it if you like someone. True, it can be a cause for concern, but from what little I've seen of Lady Louise, she seems rather mature. I think things would be fine. You two could be good for each other, but you won't know unless you actually try."

He did have a point, but Charles was still not sure about it. There was going to be a lot between them even if he pursued her. That was what pulled him up short.

"You know that you don't have to ask for approval, my lord," Duffy reminded him. "Not from us, and not from your children. You do what you want for yourself."

"It's been a long time since I've done something for myself. I don't know if I can manage it, if I'm honest."

"Maybe this is a good time to try. You're allowed to be selfish every now and then." Duffy smiled. "If you like Lady Louise's company, and you think there might be something there, you can find out for yourself. Nobody's going to stop you."

"Except Elizabeth," Charles muttered.

Duffy shook his head.

"She's your sister-in-law, not your mother or your wife. She doesn't get a say in what happens with your personal life. You shouldn't have to worry about her, either."

He did have a point, but Charles knew that once Elizabeth found out about it, she was not going to be happy. Fair enough, they were family, but her behavior toward him was a little suffocating. If she found out, she was going to hassle him and Lady Louise and make things difficult. Charles could see it happening.

If only things in his personal life weren't so complicated. But Mary would say that life was never that simple. It had to be hard work, so it kept everyone on their toes. There was no such thing as an easy, simple life.

Why did he have to think about Mary now? Charles winced. Every time he thought about Lady Louise, Mary would pop up as if she was a reminder. But she was dead, and he was now a widower. He shouldn't feel guilty about it.

But he did. Charles felt like he was betraying Mary's memory. Although he had a feeling that Mary would have liked Lady Louise.

Oscar whined and bounced up against the door, scratching at it.

"I'd better take Oscar before he tears the door down." Charles headed to the door. "I'll be back shortly. You can head to bed once you're done here."

"Very good, my lord. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

Charles let the dog out and followed the animal downstairs and into the garden. Oscar took off into the darkness, and Charles didn't follow. He wasn't about to go tripping around in the dark. He stood on the edge of the grass and let the cool breeze wash over him.

He wished that life was simple. Then he wouldn't be so tied up in knots on the inside. Attraction hadn't felt this complicated when he met Mary. But that was in different circumstances. This was…something else.

Hopefully, by the time he woke up, Charles would have an idea of what he was going to do.