Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Louise was feeling a little better when she returned home. She was glad that she had stopped by Clarissa's house before coming back. Her friend was, naturally, worried about the situation—especially with the age gap between Louise and Chesterfield—but she said that it had changed Louise, albeit subtly. If it was good between them, why not explore it? Louise should make the most of it.

Louise agreed with that. It was a little daunting to pursue a gentleman, and that wasn't included with the way her past romantic experiences had gone, but with the way Chesterfield seemed to be around her, Louise had a bit of hope. Maybe this could work.

Hopefully, she wasn't going to make a fool of herself. Louise wouldn't be able to look anyone in the eye if she was rejected and humiliated.

While she didn't think the earl would humiliate her if Lady St. Simon was around when it occurred, Louise knew that the situation would make her feel even worse.

When Louise and Bethany returned home, they could hear voices coming from the drawing room. They exchanged glances, Bethany raising her eyebrows.

"Is that…?" she mouthed.

Louise nodded, her good mood dissipating. It was Mansfield with Aunt Harriet. How long had he been here? Louise understood that he and Aunt Harriet were in the midst of something private, but he was over at the house a lot, and it was unnerving.

She didn't like that her space was being invaded. However, at the same time, this was her aunt's house, and Mansfield was Aunt Harriet's guest. She couldn't argue with that. It was also her aunt's social life, something Louise didn't have a say in.

If it kept her busy and made her happy, Louise was in no place to argue.

"I think I'm going to relax in my room," she whispered to Bethany. "Would you ask the cook if I can have something to eat?"

"Of course, my lady."

They began to tiptoe away, Bethany toward the kitchen and Louise in the direction of the stairs. If she could get upstairs, then she would be able to get away with not being caught by her aunt. Louise had no intention of having Mansfield talk to her, especially not after the way they spoke to her that morning.

That felt like a lifetime ago.

"Louise!"

Louise flinched, stopping at the bottom of the stairs. So much for sneaking away and not being caught. Bracing herself, she turned and faced Aunt Harriet as she left the drawing room and strode over to her, schooling her expression into something she hoped was blank.

"Good afternoon, Aunt Harriet. How's your day been?"

"Where have you been, Louise?"

Louise blinked.

"Did you forget already? I went to meet with Lady Lara Simmons and her family in the park."

"But you were supposed to be back ages ago! You said you would be back!"

"I never said that I would be back at any time. I went to see them, and then I went by Lady Coleton's house."

Aunt Harriet scowled.

"You seriously thought doing that instead of coming back here as soon as you left that lot was a good idea?"

"It's my social life, Aunt Harriet."

"And I'm your guardian!" the older woman snapped. "You're supposed to do what you're told, not go about your own life."

"I'm not a servant," Louise countered. This pointless argument was getting annoying now. "And you may be my guardian, but you can't dictate absolutely everything in my life."

"If you want a proper future, you will do as you're told. I do know what I'm talking about…"

"Do you?"

The words were out before Louise could stop them. Aunt Harriet faltered.

"What was that?"

"Do you really know what you're talking about?" Louise glared at her. "You keep yourself to yourself, and you barely show any interest in anything outside this house. Plus, you're actively stopping me from wanting to have some friends."

"Mansfield can be your friend!" Aunt Harriet protested.

Louise was surprised at how quickly she had gone from a good mood to a bad mood and then to a mood where her temper was close to snapping. She had had such a good day, and now Aunt Harriet was trying to ruin it.

She was not going to let that happen.

"I don't want Lord Mansfield to be my friend!" she cried. "I don't even like him! He makes me quite uncomfortable, especially when you keep forcing him in my direction. Why would I want to be friends with your lover, anyway?"

"But he's not…" Aunt Harriet began, but Louise carried on.

"I am really fed up with it all, Aunt Harriet! You keep telling me that I must find a husband, and that it's imperative that I get married, and yet, in the same breath, you keep talking about how I'm going to be a spinster and how nobody is going to want me around. What is it that you want? Do you want me to get married and leave your house? Or do you want me to be alone and miserable? Because, right now, I have no idea what you actually want from me other than to make me miserable."

Aunt Harriet's expression looked like Louise had reached out and slapped her. She began to splutter.

"That's…that…"

"Don't try and justify yourself!" Louise scoffed. "I've had enough of it! I had chances years ago to get married and leave, just as you've always wanted! But no, that never happened. You hate me so much, and yet you can't decide if you want me to get out of here or to be miserable for something I've supposedly done."

She began waving her arms around, not caring that her voice was getting louder. "You're constantly telling me that you're looking out for my best interests, but your actions show that you don't care at all!"

"That's not…"

"Of course it's true! Why would I believe you after the way you've treated me over the last twenty years! You never showed me any kind of love, not even at Christmas or on my birthday. You left my raising to the servants and ignored me. I was lucky if you remembered how old I was. I was certainly surprised that you knew what my name was after we first lived together for three months. You always called me ‘girl' or ‘brat'. I'm surprised you haven't stuck to that!"

Louise could feel her chest tightening, and she felt like she was going to burst into tears, but she kept going.

"You saw me as an inconvenience. I'm surprised that you didn't give me up to an orphanage. I wish you had, though, because then I might have had a more loving upbringing. Because you've not been a parent, or even a relative, Aunt Harriet! You've been a horrible, cruel lady who would rather see me suffer instead of supporting me. It feels like you wasted my life by ‘raising' me!"

Aunt Harriet's face was white. For a moment, Louise thought she was going to keel over and collapse onto the floor, but she kept herself at a distance. Aunt Harriet was known for lashing out, and she didn't want to get struck. She was too angry for that.

"I'm trying to have a social life again, and I'm not about to have you ruin it for me." Taking a deep breath, Louise turned away. "Just keep out of my way, and I'll keep out of yours. Now leave me alone."

She started to hurry up the stairs, only to hear footsteps following her. Louise swung around, ready to shout at her aunt again, but she stopped when she saw the Earl of Mansfield hurrying up the stairs toward her. How much had he listened to? Louise didn't doubt that he had been eavesdropping.

"Lady Louise, slow down." He reached her, his expression pleading. "Just…let's talk this out, why don't we?"

"Why should I talk anything out with you?" Louise snapped back. "You're not a member of our family, and I have no relationship with you. Why should I talk to you about this?"

"You're overreacting, Louise."

Louise stiffened.

"What did you just say?"

"Harriet has done nothing but provide for you all these years. Sure, it was different, but it was in her own way. She wants the best for you. Can't you realize that?"

Louise barked out a harsh laugh.

"Don't be ridiculous! Aunt Harriet has never loved me! I wouldn't be surprised if she sabotaged me, so I'm alone right now. It's that bad!"

"You can't mean that…"

"You think I'm overreacting about this? I've been living like this for twenty years, Lord Mansfield! This has been a long time coming, in my opinion. It's not for my benefit at all. If it was, she would have been a lot nicer as I grew up. She would have cared about me, no matter what was going on. I've just had a cruel caretaker, and I was so looking forward to getting married and leaving so I had a better future. And what do I get? Nothing!"

Louise pointed at Aunt Harriet, who was still pale. "She thinks she can dictate my life, and she's doing it now. Clearly, whatever she's doing is not working. I'm doing something for myself, and that does not include my aunt's opinions. They didn't work before, so I'm not going to listen now. And you are not anything to me, so I don't want to hear anything from you."

She turned away and hurried up the stairs, aware that Mansfield was shouting after her. She ignored him and ran along the hallway to her room, slamming the door shut and locking it quickly. Then she sagged to the floor as her legs gave out, her heart racing and her head pounding. Her mouth felt dry, and her throat and chest were tight. She hadn't felt like this since she was a little girl, and Aunt Harriet had told her that her parents had died to get away from her in one of her rages.

Louise didn't hold it back, allowing her emotions to spill over and she burst into tears, curling over and sobbing on the floor. So much for having a good day. Aunt Harriet had managed to spoil it, and Louise had snapped.

Why couldn't she have something of her own for once without anyone ruining it?

***

Charles stood on the bank and watched as Archie and Lara shifted around, making the rowboat rock a little too wildly.

"Careful, you two!" he called. "You're going to upend yourselves into the water, and you're too far away for me to rescue you!"

Lara squeaked and gripped onto the sides of the boat.

"Don't say that, Father!" she cried. "I already can't see the bottom of the lake!"

"It's not going to be that deep," Archie assured her. "We're not far enough out for it to be deep. Right, Father?"

Charles sighed.

"I wouldn't be too confident about that, Archie. Just be careful and stay as still as you can. The only things that should be moving are Archie's arms as he rows. Now, get those oars into place. That was something you should have done before you pushed off."

Archie frowned as he concentrated, picking up the oars and moving them awkwardly into place. Lara squealed and ducked as the paddle of the oar almost hit her in the face. Standing beside Charles, Louise watched the scene with a nervous frown.

"Are you sure this was a good idea?" she asked.

"You think this is going to go wrong?"

"Given what's going on right now, I know it is. This looks like a recipe for disaster."

Charles smiled at her.

"You need to have a little faith in my children, Lady Louise."

"I did until I saw the two of them almost upend themselves into the water. Why didn't one of the footmen go out with them and row the boat while they sat on the end?" Louise pointed at the rest of the boats that were floating around the water. "They're not looking like ducks who are trying to swim for the first time."

The comparison was so out of nowhere that Charles burst out laughing.

"I know that Archie and Lara are looking like that, but they are capable once they get ahold of themselves. I was younger than Archie when I learned to row, and it's a good skill to have."

"Looks like Archie missed a few lessons," Louise murmured.

She was really worried about the twins. Charles wanted to assure her that it would be fine and they weren't going to come to any harm, but he decided against it. Part of him was sure that one of the twins would end up in the water. Maybe he should have asked one of the workers looking after the boats to go out with them. Then this wouldn't be happening.

Too late now. Archie would figure it out eventually. Hopefully it would be sooner rather than later.

"It's a good thing we're not in Cambridge," Charles said as his son got the oars in place and curled his hands around the ends, still looking uncertain. "They have people who punt the boats along."

"Punt?" Louise frowned. "Like they do in Venice? I've heard that they do punting there."

"That's it. If you have an idea of what punting is, imagine Archie trying to do that now."

Louise thought for a moment, staring out at Archie as he slowly got the oars to move at the same time. Then she giggled.

"Now, that is a sight I would like to see. Although maybe not the end result where he ends up in the water."

Charles laughed.

"Well, you can laugh all you want. I'm the one who has to take him back dripping wet and smelling like the bottom of a pond."

"I don't envy you there."

Louise's eyes sparkled mischievously as he looked at her, and Charles felt his heart thumping hard in his chest with the smile that came with it. She was really lovely, and with her shyness fading away, Charles was seeing a person that he was sure not many people got to actually look at. Louise was bright, sharp, quick-witted, and had a good sense of humor. Charles could find himself talking to her for ages, and the time would pass by so fast.

It had been like that for the last month. Every couple of days, Lara and Archie wanted to meet up with Louise during the day and do something with her, whether it was visiting the museum, walking along the length of the river, or going into the countryside for a picnic. They had so many social ideas that Charles was surprised that they had time to do anything else.

They did see Louise at social gatherings that other people organized, and Lara pretty much drew Louise into their little group. The four of them did a lot together, and Charles enjoyed it. Being around his children and Louise made him feel a lot younger again. He felt lighter and happier about himself.

He did notice that, on many of their excursions, Lara and Archie would slowly shift away and leave Charles talking to Louise. Almost as if they were trying to matchmake the two of them. Charles hadn't said anything about it, mostly because he was enjoying his time with Louise. They found a lot of things to talk about, and it never seemed to get boring. Louise was fun.

How she was still unmarried, Charles had no idea. If he had been younger and unmarried when Louise was entering Society, he would have made sure nobody else would have gotten a look in.

But that sounded like he was being overboard with his opinion. Also, it made him wince as he remembered Mary. While she was no longer here, it did feel a bit disrespectful toward her. Although, Charles was sure that Mary would have approved of Louise. They would get along really well.

"Shall we walk along the bank?" Charles suggested, holding out his arm toward her. "We can stay on the bank, nice and dry, while my children figure out how to row without bumping into anything."

Louise grinned and slipped her arm through his.

"That sounds a lot more enticing than sitting in a rowing boat."

They walked along the edge of the lake as Archie got the hang of rowing and started to do it with some confidence. It had been a gorgeous day today, and when they had come to the park there were plenty of people already out on the water, renting out the rowboats and having fun.

Archie had been the one to suggest going out on one, but only Lara had agreed to it. Although from the way she was looking right now, clinging onto her seat, she was more than likely regretting it.

"I have a feeling that Archie isn't going to be joining the Navy anytime soon," Louise giggled. "He would probably unravel the actual wood in the ship."

"I wouldn't be surprised if he was capable of doing that." Charles looked at the other rowers on the lake. "I hope that he looks like he knows what he's doing eventually. Even if you can't row, making it appear that you can makes all the difference."

"You won't be saying the same thing if he manages to overturn the rowing boat."

"No, I'll probably be wondering whether I should laugh or cry at what type of son I raised."

Louise's giggle turned into a flow-blown laugh, and Charles took a moment to let the sound sink in. It was not often that a woman would relax enough to laugh like that—they were always so restrained in public—but Louise was not like that. She was happy to show what she was really like with those she was comfortable with. Her words. Charles felt honored to see that side of her. From what he could gather, Louise didn't often show that.

He was about to say something when there was another squeal from Lara. Charles almost didn't look over, but Lara did sound more distressed. Then he saw that Archie was rowing very confidently, and very fast, toward the reeds on the bank.

"Archie! Archie, slow down!"

"Don't panic, Sister," Charles heard Archie shout back. "It's absolutely fine. Don't worry about anything…"

Then, the rowing boat entered the reeds, and they disappeared from sight. Groaning, Charles moved away from Louise.

"God, I can't take my eyes off them for five seconds."

"At least they're not wet," Louise said as she hurried after him.

"Not yet, anyway." Charles reached the reeds and tried to peer through them. How had they gotten so thick? "Lara! Archie! Are you all right?"

"We're fine," Archie called back. "The boat's stuck, though. Can you push us out?"

"No!" Lara cried. "I'm getting out! I'm not going back on the water with a madman in charge!"

"Who are you calling a madman?"

Charles sighed, moving aside the reeds to see his children firmly in the middle of them. From what he could tell, the boat was well and truly stuck.

He shook his head.

"You don't do anything by halves, do you, Archie?"

"Can you help us out, Father?"

"I think you might be able to get out from where you are. Just be careful."

A loud squeal got Charles' attention behind him, and he saw Louise slipping on the bank. She had lost her balance, and now she was sliding forward, her arms trying to regain her balance, but it wasn't happening. On instinct, he grabbed her before she landed on her back and slid into the water.

"Careful!" He righted her, holding onto her as she regained her footing. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." Louise gave him a bashful smile. "Typical, isn't it? I'm not the one in the boat, and yet I'm the one who almost ends up in the water."

"You are not good around water at all." Lara laughed. "Like when you had to grab onto that tree so you didn't fall into the river, and Father had to rescue you?"

Louise groaned.

"Don't remind me of that. That was embarrassing."

"Do you think we can laugh over this later?" Archie asked with a frown. "I would like to get out of here as well before anyone sees us. And do you think you can let Lady Louise go to help me, Father?"

"What? Oh!" Charles released Louise quickly, only to grab her again as she wobbled. "Go back onto higher ground. I think it would be safer."

"I agree with you on that." Louise managed a smile in his direction before looking away, her cheeks flushed. "Thank you."

Charles slowly let her go as she made her way back up the bank. He waited until she was on better footing before looking around and seeing both of his children giving him sly looks.

"What?"

"Oh, nothing." Archie tried to look innocent, but it didn't work. "Now, maybe we can have some help? I know we're your children, but we do take some priority at times."

"Cheeky." Charles gained more stable footing without his feet going into the water and leaned in, holding out a hand. "Grab my hand. We'll go and let the stewards know, and they can see if they can get this boat out."

"You don't trust us?" Lara asked, although she was grinning at her brother.

"Don't make me answer that, Lara. Now, come on before I decide to leave you there, and you'll become part of the scenery."