Chapter 22

Louisaended up stalking back to the house with Joan and Halthorr, her hands in fists, her fury and frustration still seething through her chest.

Howdare Killik threaten her like that again. How dare he throw all his mess onto her again. How dare he blame her for his own damned inability to keep his own damned cock in his own damned trousers.

Andworst of all, how dare he hurt Ulfarr like that. How dare he take such a lovely, wonderful day, and stomp all over it, because he'd been jealous. BecauseUlfarr had touched her and kissed her, which was exactly what Killik had wanted him to do.

Butas Louisa stalked along, keeping her eyes straight ahead, there was a new, bitter twinge of something almost like… guilt. Because curse it, maybe she had overstepped the bounds of their agreement. Maybe she had led Ulfarr to believe this was something… more, beyond just the ten nights. Maybe she was setting him up to be more hurt, more wounded than before.

Andcurse it, maybe she could even admit that despite all Killik's rubbish, he'd still made it excessively clear that he wanted to… supervise. He'd wanted to watch, to approve, to control. He'd wanted to be there with Ulfarr, maybe just to guard him, or direct him, but maybe also because he… he cared.

Louisagroaned, shook her head, rubbed at her eyes — and belatedly found Joan watching her as they walked, her eyes uneasy and searching. While on Joan's other side, Halthorr was glancing toward Louisa too, with something not unlike sympathy in his eyes.

"Are you… all right, Lou?" Joan asked, with a wince. "Did something… happen… down there, with those orcs?"

Right. Louisa let out a shaky exhale, sought to dig through her scrambled thoughts for an answer. No matter how she felt about Killik, she still didn't want to create animosity between her staff and the orcs, to create doubts about that beautiful little camp…

"No, I'm fine," she said. "Killik and I just had a… small disagreement."

Buther voice came out flat and bitter, and she was vaguely surprised by Halthorr's brief, cheerful chuckle. "Killik never has small disagreements," he told her. "He shall either be calm and smiling as he mocks you, or else flying at you with his dagger in hand, seeking to slit your throat."

Louisablinked, and that was a hoarse, bitter laugh, barking from her throat. "Yes, I've noticed," she replied flatly. "Many times."

Andwait, she wasn't supposed to be betraying that to Joan, sparking more of that unease in her eyes — but beside Joan, Halthorr looked sympathetic again, giving a wincing little smile. "Ach, well, you ken Killik would not fight you thus, if he did not think you worthy of it," he said. "And he has always been a touch… zealous, when it comes to Wolf."

Wolfagain. Louisa's head tilted, her thoughts hitching backwards, catching on Killik's accusations, his rage. Shall you stand tall with the shamed Wolf of the Skai. Shall you learn of all his grief and his sins. That is a sentence from our kin, to keep him trapped in that curst mountain, where he shall never again find joy…

Butdamn it, Killik had also forbidden Louisa to ask questions, to try to learn of Ulfarr's past — and she didn't still care about Killik's rules, did she? You humans speak too much. Never asking the right questions, or allowing the truth of the answers…

"Why… do you all call UlfarrWolf?" she tentatively asked toward Halthorr, searching his genial eyes. "I know Killik also calls him the Wolf of the Skai?"

Shewas vaguely surprised to see Halthorr's easy nod, his smile that looked almost approving. "Ach, this is a name that has long been borne by Wolf's fathers," he replied. "AndWolf is even there in his own name, for Ulfarr means Wolf-Spear, in our tongue."

Louisaconsidered that for a moment, frowning at Halthorr's face. "And what… what does it mean?" she asked, her voice careful. "What does a Wolf actually… do?"

ButHalthorr's smile was again warm and genial, his shoulder shrugging. "In days past, the Skai oft ran in packs," he said. "Each pack would hunt and travel together, and fight together in battle, and offer care and safety to its warriors' kin. Wolf's fathers before him all led packs, oft the strongest packs amongst us — and his fathers oft also served as our clan's Enforcers, a role of great power amidst our kin."

Louisakept studying Halthorr, following that, searching carefully for the next question. "And did Ulfarr ever have a… pack? Or serve as this Enforcer?"

Halthorr'seyes flicked away, and his smile had gone rather fixed. "No, Wolf was never Enforcer," he replied, "But he did have a pack, for many, many summers. I was part of this, and Killik, and Elgr and Igull, and Ragni and Kori and Fasti, also. Mayhap a dozen of us."

Really? Louisa blinked at Halthorr, as her thoughts flicked back to the orcs at the camp, to how Ulfarr had seemed in charge of them all, somehow. ButHalthorr had been speaking about what had been, in days past… right? AndLouisa wasn't supposed to ask — was she? — but perhaps Halthorr had followed the next question anyway, his breath exhaling in a heavy sigh.

"But when our brother Simon became Enforcer, after Wolf's father," he added, a little stilted now, "he disbanded all the packs. SoI ken Wolf is now only a name, ach?"

Wait. Simon. Simon had taken Ulfarr's father's title, and disbanded Ulfarr's pack? Simon had been the orc Louisa had met in the library that time, right? The huge, hulking orc who'd shaken her hand, and smiled at her?

"And this change had to be permanent?" she cautiously asked. "It wouldn't be possible for Ulfarr to… rebuild his pack, somehow? To be… the Wolf again, beyond just the name?"

Therewas an instant's silence, and then a curt laugh from Halthorr. "Ach, no," he said, short. "It would not."

Well. That wasn't helpful, and if anything it only raised even more damned questions. HadSimon's decision to disband the packs been targeted toward Ulfarr? Had it been some kind of punishment for Ulfarr's sins?

Andgods, what hadUlfarr done? And if his actions had been that serious, why did he still have the support — and obviously the respect — of orcs like Halthorr, like Killik? Even if — Louisa winced — Killik still clearly kept that distance, too?

ButHalthorr wasn't talking, now, still staring straight ahead, toward where Louisa's grounds were now visible through the trees. And as she blinked at the overgrown lawn, the shabby outbuildings, the big square house with its peeling paint, her thoughts hitched, stuttered, with sudden, too-sharp visions of that camp. The cozy little shelters, the cover of leaves and branches, even that firelit underground room, dark and snug and safe…

"I shall leave you here, then, sisters," Halthorr said, with a flourishing bow toward them, though his eyes lingered on Joan's face. "It was a true joy to spend this day with you."

Joanlooked surprisingly flustered, suddenly, but she jerked a nod, and mumbled something under her breath. And as she and Louisa watched Halthorr walk away, Joan looked just as unsettled as Louisa felt, and finally she veered off toward the stable without a single word of farewell.

Louisa'sown mood only darkened as she strode into the house, first facing Gladys and Elise's waiting litany of questions, and then all the looming chores she'd put off by going to the camp. But even as she plodded through the day, doggedly working through into the evening, the misery kept catching, circling, seething with guilt, and with something like grief.

Gods, she shouldn't have let Ulfarr kiss her like that. She shouldn't have gone off alone with him like that. And she certainly should have been honest with him about her own boundaries around his other bedpartners, and his fidelity toward her during their ten nights. She shouldn't have left it to Killik to communicate — or not communicate — those boundaries to Ulfarr. BecauseKillik couldn't be trusted, she knew that, and how did she keep forgetting that? Why did she keep trusting him, giving him more chances, after all his rages? His threats?

Andeven as Louisa finally stalked into her dark bedroom, and slammed the door shut behind her, why did she keep looking over her shoulder for him? Why did she keep jumping at the faintest sounds, the slightest prickle on her back? She didn't want Killik to come back, did she?

Until you sort out your mess, she'd snarled at him, and your ghastly temper, I'm staying the hell out of this. I'm staying the hell away from you.

Andshe'd meant that. She had. Even if it meant the end of their ten nights, she could try to find another way. She could try to get over this. She could. Right?

Sherepeated that thought to herself again and again as she hurled off her clothes, and threw her naked body into bed. Lying there stiff and furious, glaring up into the darkness, and blinking back the cursed prickling behind her eyes. But not sleeping, not even close, because it was almost like she was still waiting, listening, as if… as if…

"Will you just talk to me," she snapped into the darkness, her voice cracking. "Please."

Andwhat was she saying, what was she doing, and…

Asigh. Slow, heavy, resigned, trailing up her spine like a hot, shivery touch.

"Ach, then," Killik said, his voice hoarse in the darkness. "I wish you to come back."