Chapter 4

T ension I hadn't realised I was holding suddenly leaves my body, and the events of the day catch up with me. The fire of the gods restored my strength when it engulfed me this morning in the ceremony, but now my body aches. I still feel strong, which surprises me. I expected to feel tired, and while I feel emotionally exhausted, physically, I'm fine. It's almost like a different part of me has awoken. Perhaps the ceremony triggered my hidden heritage to awaken. Vaeril has suspected for a while that some of my elvish traits, such as speed, have been hidden away, either by magic or of my own doing as a protection mechanism when I was a slave. Occasionally, they will slip out, so we know I possess these abilities, but it's just figuring out how to unlock them permanently.

Frowning in the direction that Eldrin walked off in, I find myself rubbing at my sternum, right over the place in my chest where my bonds lie. Feeling confused and emotionally drained, I turn and make my way back to my friends, following the soft pull of Vaeril's bond. A couple of people call out to me as I walk past, and I nod and raise a hand in greeting, but I don't stop. There's music playing now, and people are dancing, the sounds of laughter and happiness reaching me. The closer I get to Vaeril, the more at ease I feel, and I can appreciate the sights around me. The bonfire with Vaeril and Naril comes into view, and I notice Tor has joined them. As soon as he spots me, he pushes up from the bench and meets me halfway, opening his arms wide for me to step into his embrace.

"There's my tribal mate," Tor greets, his smile wide as he leans down to press a kiss to my lips. My surprise at his public show of affection is quickly wiped away by desire as his hands rub over my back. As he pulls away, I make a needy noise in the back of my throat I would usually be mortified at having made in public, but Tor just chuckles, his hold on me tightening possessively.

A presence arrives at my side, but I know it's Vaeril without even having to look up, my chest doing a little flip the closer he gets to me. With Tor at my front, and my elven mate at my side, I feel something change within, heating me up from the inside. Shifting my weight from foot to foot, I try to relieve some of the feeling that's growing within me.

Placing a hand on my chin, Vaeril gently pulls my face around to look at him, his silver brows set in a delicate frown. "What did Eldrin say? I felt your distress."

I want to reach up and trace his features with my fingertip and memorise each inch, to take away his solemn and serious expression he always seems to be wearing. "He was just being Eldrin," I reply with a shrug, distracted by the fact my body is still pressed against Tor, the clothing between us doing little to stop me from feeling his muscular body. "We worked it out." I'll explain later , I tell him with my eyes, hoping he understands. I know Eldrin wouldn't want me discussing it with Tor around. I don't trust my feelings right now, otherwise I'd push the thought through the bond.

Almost as if on cue, Tor moves his hand slightly on my back, and it's a completely innocent move, yet it sets off a rippling effect in my body. My head rolls, and my back arches as much as it can in Tor's hold, my body shuddering as a gasp of pleasure rolls through me from head to toe. I hear Vaeril groan next to me, his hand tightening on my arm.

When I straighten and raise my head to look at Vaeril, he's smiling wryly at me, his chest heaving as if he's just run a long distance, and I realise he must have felt what I did through the bond. I go to apologise, my cheeks warm, but a shocked, sharp inhale catches my attention. Lifting my gaze to Tor, I can't stop chuckling at his expression. He looks torn between confusion and happiness, the two emotions warring on his face, but eventually he grins, rubbing his hands in slow circles on my back once again. Thankfully, it doesn't have the same effect, but I can feel something building within me, and it wants Tor.

"What just happened?" the tribesman asks, looking between Vaeril and me, taking in my current state and realising he's probably going to get more answers from the elf. He can't seem to take his eyes off me for long though, his gaze constantly being drawn back to me. "Your pupils are huge."

Vaeril hums low in his throat, and I pull my gaze away from Tor long enough to watch him. The elf's hand is still on my arm, his fingers drawing patterns against my skin like he can't bear not to be touching me, and I'd bet he can feel this need that's roused within me. "I think the ceremony has awoken more of her fae side, and the mead has…lowered her inhibitions a little," Vaeril explains, confirming my theory, his eyes roving over my face. Pain flickers across his expression, but it's gone so quickly that I think I must have imagined it. "She's behaving like a female elf about to claim her mate."

Oh. Is that why he was asking all the questions about Eldrin? But he's not my fated mate, I couldn't claim him even if I wanted to. Something twinges within me at that, but I push it away. He's probably upset because he knows you're going to bond with Tor , I tell myself, and I know on some level this is true. Elves are very territorial, so for Vaeril, it's a big issue that I have more than one fated mate. Tor is the last of them to be bonded to me.

"Oh." Tor's voice echoes my sentiment, and as I lift my head to look at him, I see a large grin spreading across his face and pride shining in his eyes. "You're ready to accept me as your mate?"

I want to tell him I've been ready for a long time, that circumstances kept getting in the way, that I was worried about our cultural differences. Since we arrived with the tribes, Tor had taken a step back and not been as intimate with me. Seeing as we have to have sex to seal the bond, I was beginning to wonder when it would happen. There had been plenty of intense, longing looks and lingering touches, but he would always pull away from my kisses and rarely instigated anymore.

"Of course I am," I assure him, gripping the front of his shirt tightly.

His eyes flick over me, but a frown forms on his face, and he looks over at Vaeril. "But if she's drunk, I don't want to take advantage—"

Frustration flares through me, and I shake him gently to bring his attention back to me, baring my teeth in annoyance. "I'm not drunk." His eyebrows shoot up, and I know he's linking my unusual behaviour to the alcohol. It's true there is some alcohol in my system and it's making me more…confident, but I am fully in control of all my actions. My discussion with Eldrin sobered me up pretty quickly, leaving only a slight buzz in my system. The fire left in my veins now is pure lust, and it's making it difficult to focus on anything else, especially having Vaeril so close to me as well. Visions of being pinned between the two of them, naked and panting as they worship my body, flash through my mind, making me grip onto Tor a little harder. My nails must dig into his skin because he grunts, but he does nothing to stop me. In fact, I can feel something hard pressing against my hip, which only sends another flare of desire through me.

Tor pulls his gaze from mine and looks over at Vaeril. "Are you okay with this?" I can tell he doesn't really want to be having this conversation, but I'm grateful he is.

Vaeril seems surprised by the question, and when a feeling of respect reaches me through the bond, I know he appreciates Tor taking the time to ask. Pulling his hand from me, he takes a step back, even though it looks like it physically pains him not to be touching me. "I can't stop it, and the goddess has willed it," he replies in a typical elvish non-answer, not really telling Tor his opinions on the situation. Just as I think that's all the response we're going to get on the topic, Vaeril makes a slight humming noise, and when I look up, I see him wearing a wry smile. "I suppose I know of worse men I would choose to have at my side."

Stunned, I watch as Vaeril nods his head at Tor, his intense gaze flicking once to me before he returns to the fire where Naril waits for him. I can't quite believe what just happened. "Did Vaeril just give us his blessing?" I query, looking up at an equally surprised Tor.

"I think he did." He laughs and tightens his arms around me once again, instantly making me forget my confusion as my desire for him reignites. His smile slowly drops as an intense expression takes over his face, his eyes locked onto mine as he opens his mouth to speak. "Dance with me?"

That is not what I expected him to say. I stare at him in stunned silence as a dozen thoughts go through my mind. He simply looks down at me, waiting for my response. Anger bubbles up inside me.

"No." Releasing his shirt, I take a small step back and cross my arms over my chest. Tor watches me warily, the corner of his mouth twitching up as he tries not to smile, knowing that will only frustrate me more, and he's right. "I am not letting you put this off any longer. Take me into a tent and make me your mate in more ways than just words!" Tor's expression changes as I speak, his smile dropping and a crease appearing between his eyes as he realises what I'm saying. Suddenly, my frustration and desire are replaced by nausea as an abrupt understanding comes to me. "Unless—" Pausing, I take a deep breath, swallowing against my parched throat. "Unless you've been putting it off because this is not what you want?" The words taste like acid, but I can't seem to stop them now that they have entered my mind.

Tor's shaking his head and moving towards me before I've even finished the question, gripping my shoulders. "Clarissa." I can't bear to look at him, the thought that he may not want me after all is so painful, it overrides all logic. His hand shoots up and he grips my chin, gently bringing my face around so I'm looking at him. "Liv. No." His voice is firm, and the mention of that name, ‘Liv,' makes me pay attention. He's called me that before. Before I can ask what he's talking about, his arms come around me and he scoops me up against his chest.

Gasping, I instinctively grip his shoulders as he strides away from the bonfires, ignoring the stares and catcalls of the tribespeople. Looking up, I see Tor's handsome features are set in a stern expression, and I know I'm in trouble. Thankfully, I don't have to wait long before we reach his tent and he storms through the entrance, the fabric flaps falling shut behind us as he puts me down near his bed and starts to pace. Like most of the tents here, it's tall enough so he can stand at his full height, and it's big enough to fit a bed, a small table, and chair, so he is only able to walk about three strides before having to turn the other way. Perching awkwardly on the edge of the bed, I watch him, my gut clenching. "Tor, look, I'm sorry—"

My voice snaps him from his pacing and he immediately walks over, cutting me off as he kneels at my feet. "Clarissa, listen to me. It is I who should be apologising." I stare at him in confusion, his face torn. "If I have in some way given you the idea that I didn't want to be your mate…" He trails off, shaking his head and blowing out a frustrated breath, rubbing a hand through his beard before meeting my eyes. "There is no greater honour than becoming your mate." His words are slow and clear, and I know he's making sure there is no possible way I could misinterpret what he's saying. My stomach flips, and I can't hold back the small, hopeful smile his words create. "In my culture— our culture," he corrects, reaching out and taking my hands in his. "The bond is called ematus ," he begins, and I remember him explaining this to me before. It's a unique blessing that's given to two people from the mountain tribes by their gods and goddesses. "People who have ematus are paired because they are fated to do great things, and they complete each other. Without the other person, they cannot reach their full potential."

He pauses, and I know he doesn't want to say the next part, his finger tracing patterns on my palm as he procrastinates. "Not all bonded complete the bond, they can manage together like we do. But some fall in love and choose to complete the bond. You call it mating. It is irreversible and more sacred than marriage in our culture." There's a pause, and I feel my stomach flip again, his gaze deep, like he's seeing into my soul. "Before I knew who you were, it was different, but as I got to know you, and when we got here, it became clear who you are— what you are to our people, the whole continent. You're the goddess' beloved!" Shaking his head, he looks away as he laughs bitterly at himself. "Maybe I handled it wrong, but there was no way I was going to rush you into accepting a bond with me. Not when you already had two complicated mates who, during the only two times they have met, have tried to kill each other."

Watching him as he speaks, I realise he's right. At least I can understand his viewpoint. The tribes are still quite religious and follow many strict rules, and although Tor is very relaxed about many of these views, I get the feeling the ematus bond is something he feels very strongly about. Now that I am a fully-fledged member of the tribes, we have to abide by their rules, so I have to take that into consideration when I complete my bond with Tor. Except his fated bond with me is no different than the ones I have with Vaeril or Grayson, the tribes just give it a different name. To me, in my soul, they are all permanently bound to me, and that is not something I take lightly.

However, the fact he's given me space to work things out with Grayson and Vaeril before his own desires says a lot about him as a person. He put my happiness first, even though it made things more difficult for him. Squeezing his hands to get his attention, I smile teasingly as he turns to look at me. "For such a tough guy, you can be a big softie."

Laughing, he rolls his eyes, the sound filling me with warmth and happiness, and I can't help but laugh back. "Don't tell anyone." That simmering desire that's been sitting in the background makes itself known once more, and he must sense it as, although his smile stays in place, his expression turns serious. "Clarissa, I love you. I always have."

I want to just fall into his arms and let this force of desire overtake me, but the deliberate way he says the last part makes me pause. ‘I always have.' That was no accidental slip of the tongue. Whatever he means by that, he said it on purpose, I just have to decide if I want to take the bait or not. Of course you have to know , my thoughts nag, and they're right, now that I've noticed, I'm not going to be able to let it go.

"What do you mean you always have?"

Tor nods, like he was expecting me to ask but was also hoping I wouldn't. "I can't say much—"

A sudden moment of clarity hits me, and I don't know why I didn't work it out before. It was so obvious. "You knew me before, didn't you? Before I was taken," I ask, interrupting him, realising he must still be under some magical oath and unable to tell me what I truly want to know. Back in Arhaven when we first met, he once accused me of looking like his dead best friend. He's always called me by a different name. He was always seeking me out. At first, I thought it was because I looked like his friend, then I supposed it was because of the connection I felt between us. I've been trying to get to know him, and all this time he knew me. "Is that why you call me Liv? Was that my real name?" The questions fall from my mouth in a rush.

"Clarissa," Tor murmurs as he pushes to his feet, releasing my hands and reaching out to cup my face, guiding me so I'm looking up at him. My mind is in turmoil. Part of me, the human part, wants to push and ask more questions. Realistically, I know there's nothing new that I'll learn tonight so there's no point in pushing it, but that's not an attribute humans are good at—letting go of something. However, my fae side that seems to have been awoken from the ceremony today is trying to take control and sizzling in my veins, demanding that we take what is ours, starting with Tor.

As Tor's thumb strokes my cheek and he wraps his other arm around me, my thoughts are pulled from my dilemma and fixate on how close we are. "Let's take things one at a time," he suggests, and I nod my head in agreement, distracted by the feel of his hand on my lower back. "We will get your memories back, I promise." My chest is pressed against his, and the low rumble of his voice travels through me, sending a wave of desire straight to my core. He must sense the change in me as he chuckles and a satisfied grin spreads across his face. "For now…I've been holding myself back for weeks. Every time I see you, I'm as hard as a rock. Let me show you how we do it in the mountains."

Without further ado, he crouches, wraps his arms around my buttocks, and lifts me into the air. I automatically wrap my legs around his waist, too far gone in my desire to cry out in surprise, but as I tighten my grip around him, I growl in pleasure when I feel the evidence of his need for me. I grind my hips against him, a feral grin spreading across my face at his hiss of surprise. With me clinging to him, he strides across the tent and throws me onto the bed.

Staring down at me, he slowly reaches up and undoes the clasp on his cloak before placing it on the chair beside him. Next, he starts leisurely unfastening the remaining buttons on his shirt and sluggishly removing it. Each item of clothing he removes has me wanting him more. I need to feel every inch of his tattooed skin under my fingers. His shirt is off, leaving only his leggings, and I can see his erection pressing tightly against them, begging for freedom. A wicked smile spreads across his face as he crosses his arms over his chest.

"You're wearing entirely too much clothing."

A thrill goes through me as I realise he wants to watch me strip from my clothes like he just did, and although I've never done anything like that before, if he finds it half as sexy as I found watching him undress, then it's worth it. Sitting up, I start to undo the clasp of the cloak, but I fumble with it, unused to the fastenings. My cheeks redden, but before I can get embarrassed, Tor kneels at my feet.

"Let me help you." His hands brush over the top of mine, easily removing my new tribal clasp, placing it on the chair, and pushing the cloak off my shoulders. Leaning forward, he brushes his lips against my ear. "Mate," he whispers, his fingers sliding down to my chest, grabbing the fabric of my dress in his hands, and with one almighty pull, he rips down the front of the garment. Gasping, I look at the ruined attire that now sits in a puddle of fabric around me. "Much better."

My eyes flick up to meet his, and the look of pure male pride and lust makes me flush with excitement. The way he's regarding me makes me feel like a goddess, like I deserve the name people whisper as I pass them. Beloved .

Sliding my arms from the now useless sleeves of my dress, I shift onto my knees and push my leggings down, aware of Tor's eyes following my every move. I sit back on the bed, stretching out my legs, and he helps me untie my boots and remove them so I'm completely naked. He kneels on the floor between my legs, leans forward, and roughly claims my lips. He's finished waiting. He's held himself back for so long, and now he's ready to claim me just as much as I'm ready to claim him.

His large hands cup my breasts, kneading them and rolling my nipples between his fingers, eliciting small, needy noises from my throat. My hands roam his body, and I slide them down his chest and push at the waistband of his leggings, but he pushes my hand away, smiling against my mouth as he kisses me. My nipples are now stiff peaks, and every sharp tweak sends a bolt of desire straight to my clit. Chest heaving in breathy pants, I try to reach for his cock again, desperate to get him as worked up as I am, needing to claim him, except he brushes my hand away once more. Breaking the kiss, I narrow my eyes at him, but he just grins, reaching up to pull me back to him, his mouth going to my neck as he kisses and bites the sensitive skin there.

Fine, if he's going to play it that way , I think to myself, sliding my hand down the front of my body, determined to give myself some relief if Tor won't give me any. I reach the apex of my thighs when he starts to tut and shifts away from me, pulling my hands away in the process. "Impatient," he chides, pushing my thighs wider as he settles himself between them once again. He grabs both of my hands and positions them behind my back, where Tor easily pins them in place with his left hand. With his right, he guides my head forward and claims my lips once more.

Frustrated, I bite down on his lower lip almost hard enough to break the surface until he's chuckling into my mouth. He lets go of my wrists, freeing my hands, but my freedom is short-lived as his large hands come up to grip my shoulders, pushing me far enough away so I can see the raised eyebrow that causes a shudder to race through me. That look would be enough to send men running, but the corner of his mouth twitches up as he takes in my expression. "Oh, you're going to regret that, little mate. I am no soft elf."

The idea of the elves being soft makes me want to laugh, but I push that aside. A thrill goes through me, my fae side wanting to fight him, to make him work for it. He must sense that because his smile widens. "I was going to take it easy on you, but now I'm going to take my sweet time. I've waited long enough, I'm going to enjoy tasting you." When he leans forward, I think he's coming in to kiss me, but he actually pushes me down onto the bed, using his weight to press me into the soft furs. He leans back and stares down at my spread thighs resting off the edge of the bed, a wicked gleam entering his eyes. I go to sit up, but he just shakes his head at me, placing one of his large hands on my stomach, effectively pinning me down as he leans in to place a kiss against my clit.

Bucking against his hand at the sudden contact against the sensitive nub, I cry out in surprise. I can't go anywhere, the restraint from his hand making it impossible for me to move other than to writhe against the bed. It's exhilarating. I never thought feeling trapped would be something that would turn me on. In fact, during sparring with Eldrin, something far less than this has caused flashbacks. But here with Tor, I feel completely safe. I know he would never hurt me, and at the first sign that I wasn't comfortable, he would stop.

Blowing a cool breath against my most intimate parts, he draws out a long, ragged groan from me before his fingers finally touch me. "Perfect," he breathes, tracing a finger around my clit and down my slit, dipping inside me briefly. He lifts his hand, his finger glistening with my slick. Ensuring I'm watching, he locks eyes with me as he slides his finger into his mouth, moaning in pleasure as he sucks it clean. It's dirty and makes me flush, but for some reason, I find it arousing, my core clenching, desperate to be filled. Lowering his mouth to me once more, he licks the length of my opening, dipping inside a couple of times. Writhing on the bed, I grip the furs, my knuckles going white with the force as his hand keeps me from moving around. Suddenly, his tongue is replaced by a finger as he eases it inside me, followed by a second. Pumping them into my channel, he goes back to licking, sucking, and kissing my swollen clit. My breath hitches in my throat as I'm overwhelmed by all the sensations, everything heightened since the ceremony earlier.

"Tor," I call out, not quite sure what I'm saying or asking for, but his hand immediately lifts from my chest and his fingers slow their movements inside me, sliding out and resting on my clit instead. Lifting his head so I can see him, he leans over and presses a slow, passionate kiss against my lips. I take a moment to enjoy having him here with me as I clear my head. It's just Tor, my mountain man, and me.

"I'm here, Clarissa," he whispers softly, his fingers rubbing small circles against my sensitive nub, bringing me closer and closer to orgasm. "Do you need me to stop?"

"No," I breathe, running my hands down his back, enjoying his reaction as he shudders under my touch. "Never stop."

Pressing another kiss to my lips, he smiles and nods, his beard tickling my face. "That, I can do." Returning to his position between my legs, he continues his ministrations, his fingers returning to my slit as he eases them in, but I notice he makes sure to stay in my line of sight so I can see him. Hooking his fingers, he hits the sweet spot, his free hand coming up to play with my clit. "Come for me, Clarissa, I want to feel you pulsing around me." His dirty words push me over the edge, and I throw my head back as pleasure rocks my body.

Once the waves of bliss have abated, I open eyes I didn't realise I had closed and find a satisfied looking Tor watching me. My gaze trails over his tattooed chest and down to his still clothed erection. I should be sated after that, especially from the force of that orgasm, but seeing him like this… I want him. I want to claim him, and until he is mine, no amount of orgasms will be good enough. Desire alights within me again, and I crawl to the edge where he's still kneeling.

"Remove these," I order, gripping his leggings, not in the mood for playing any longer. Something flashes in his eyes, and I see his cock bounce through the fabric. He likes me taking charge, I realise with interest, putting that information in the back of my mind for another time. Without another word, Tor stands and pushes his leggings down, kicking the offending fabric away. He's not wearing any underwear. A thrill goes through me, and from the grin on his face, I get the impression this isn't the first time he's gone bare.

Now fully naked, he climbs onto the bed, kneeling in front of me, and like two magnets, we can't stay apart any longer. With our arms wrapped around each other and our chests pressed together, our lips meet. I finally reach down and wrap my fingers around his cock, squeezing the base and enjoying his groan of pleasure. Pumping the hard length, I gasp into his mouth as he reaches between our bodies and sharply tweaks my swollen clit. It should hurt, after all, it's sensitive from my previous orgasm, but thanks to the fae desire roaring through my veins, it only makes me want him more.

"Fuck me," I demand, biting down on his lip again.

"I thought you'd never ask." His voice is deep and rumbles through me as he kisses me fiercely. "I want you to ride me. Do you think you can handle that?" He says it with a smile, but he means it as a genuine question. With me on top, it will be a tighter fit, and Tor's cock, although not the longest of my mates, is wide. My fae side is thrilled by the idea. Being in charge and riding our mate as we claim him—it's perfect.

"Not a problem," I purr, my heart flipping at his expression of joy at my response.

Tor moves up the bed so he's leaning against the headboard, his legs out before him and his cock in his hand, lazily stroking it as he watches me with a smile. He holds his free hand out to me, and I crawl towards him. The way he watches me gives me a sense of confidence I wouldn't have had otherwise. Being naked has always been uncomfortable for me, but right now, he makes me feel beautiful.

I straddle his hips and hover over his cock. Lowering myself so I can feel him pressing against my entrance, I pause as he brushes himself against me, using some of my own slick as lubricant. He clears his throat, and I lift my eyes to meet his, realising I've been transfixed while watching his cock. Smiling, he places his hand on my lower back and gently applies pressure, guiding me down as I impale myself on his cock. We groan in unison as I reach the hilt, feeling that glorious stretch which is almost too intense. Tor leans forward and presses soft, gentle kisses against my lips as I adjust to his size, my pussy clenching around him. Our kisses start to get more heated and our hands roam each other's bodies as I begin to grind against his cock. I rock forward, feeling him harden even more inside me. My instincts take over my body as I bounce up and down on his cock, our hands and mouths everywhere as the pleasure builds. I can feel my second orgasm about to peak, and before I can stop myself, I lean forward and bite down on Tor's neck as pleasure sweeps through my body, hitting him seconds after. The bond snaps into place at that exact moment, heightening our orgasms, sending us into a spiral as I clench tightly around his length, drawing out his pleasure.

I'm not sure how long we stay connected that way, wrapped around each other, our foreheads pressed together, chests heaving as we try to catch our breaths. At some point, I must have let go of his neck, and we fall onto our sides, our bodies still entwined. There is a mess between our thighs, and I've got that slight ache that comes after really great sex, but right now, I'm so focused on this new connection with Tor that I don't care. There is a lot to deal with in the morning—the complication with my other mates, the looming threat of war, and my responsibilities—but all that can wait. Right now, I lie in silence, wrapped up in the arms of my new mate, communicating only by the raw feelings of our newly cemented bond.