Chapter 20

" S o... I'm part elf?" I ask again, struggling to comprehend what they're telling me. It explains a lot, but it's difficult to wrap my mind around. The four of them are looking at me, all with varying degrees of expectancy. What are they waiting for?

"Yes," Vaeril replies, watching my face carefully for any sign of my reaction.

Turning my head, I look over at Ardeth. He's wearing a soft, understanding smile. "I assume you will have questions, and I'm happy to answer them to the best of my knowledge."

I frown but nod. I do have questions, so many that I don't know where to begin. Taking a deep breath, I process what this means. If I'm part elf, then I have family here, or at least, had family here.

"My family. Jaonos is dead? What about my…my father?" I question the master, stumbling over the word ‘father.' My whole life, it's been something I've just accepted—I don't have a family. I know I must have one, but I have no memories of them. Shouldn't I have something ? Even just a vague recollection?

"We don't know, but no one has heard anything of him in years," he answers softly, shaking his head sadly. "He was a friend of mine, a great scholar." He averts his gaze, turning to peer down at the book before him, but I don't miss the flash of pain in his eyes. Running his finger down the page, he taps it twice when he reaches a blank spot—like there's a name missing from the list. "I'm afraid I know nothing about your father, not even his name, but the wood elves might have more information," he finishes, looking back up at me now that his emotions are more in control.

"I can take you to meet the wood elves," Vaeril chimes in. He looks worried. Perhaps he was expecting me to react differently, but all I feel is…numb and confused.

"I would like that." My voice is soft, and I feel like all of the fight has been drained out of me.

"If she is part elf, she has a right to be here. The queen can't deny her a home in Galandell," Naril speaks up, taking a step closer to us, as if seeing me like this invokes some sort of protective feeling towards me. I look over at his scarred brother who is glaring at me, his arms crossed as if he's trying to stop himself from doing something he might regret later.

Pulling my gaze away, I stare down at my hands, not having the energy to fight with him anymore. Usually, I would be barking at him, demanding to know what his issue is, instead a single word floats through my mind.

Home . Somewhere to belong.

"Can we prove she's an elf though? Without revealing the bond between the two of them?" Naril muses, and I can feel his gaze land on me again.

"Are you sure you're bonded?" Eldrin snaps, and this time his tone wakes something within me, my anger pushing through the fog as I glare at him, but he just ignores me.

Glancing wearily between me and his friend, Vaeril answers, "It isn't sealed yet. There was never really a good time while we were in captivity or on the run. But yes, I'm sure." His answer only seems to make Eldrin angrier as he starts to pace the study area.

"Sealed?" I echo, looking at the elves. What does he mean by sealed? Is the bond not complete between us?

Naril snorts and holds his hands up. "Well, I'm not telling her what that means."

They all share a look again and Ardeth shakes his head. Sighing, Vaeril nods slowly. "Bonds between elves get stronger as the relationship grows between them, but it's not a full bond, not to start with. It has to be sealed," he explains slowly, while Naril chuckles behind him, enjoying his discomfort.

"Okay…How do you seal a bond?" I'm getting annoyed again as he talks in circles, and I gesture for him to continue.

"When a female elf accepts the bond, it's a great honour."

He's stalling, I realise, and I level him with a glare. He's never been one to mince his words to spare my feelings before, so why is he tiptoeing around this? Glancing at the others for an answer, I see Naril is just smiling while Ardeth suddenly finds his book fascinating and refuses to look at me.

"She will never be accepted by the queen," Eldrin barks, stopping whatever Vaeril was about to say as he storms over.

Vaeril jumps to his feet and turns to face the scarred twin, baring his teeth as he takes a menacing step forward. Instead of backing down, Eldrin seems to take this as a challenge, his chest expanding as he marches towards his friend. Thankfully, Naril realises this is about to turn into a bloodbath and moves between the two of them, placing his hands on his brother's chest, pushing him back a step.

"Brother, take it easy," he snaps. He sounds like he's straining to keep Eldrin where he is, but eventually his brother looks away from Vaeril and steps back. "She's learned a lot today, give her some time," Naril tells him, making sure to stay between his brother and friend.

"He's right, the queen hates me, and this," I say, gesturing between Vaeril and me, "won't change her attitude towards me." As I speak, a sense of acceptance settles over me. I realise I don't want or need her to like me, I just need her to let me stay here.

"So, what do we do?" Eldrin inquires gruffly. I keep shooting looks at him out of the corner of my eye. He's watching us with a frustrated expression, his arms crossed over his chest.

"We find out more. We'll look through the journals, visit the wood elves, and try to learn more about your powers," Vaeril answers, but he focuses on me as he speaks. "For now, we don't tell the queen." The others nod in agreement.

I replay his words, and something connects in my mind. "I'm part wood elf?" I wait for his nod before I ask my next question. "Is that why the imps and the kelpies like me?"

"Wait, kelpies?" Naril exclaims, shock colouring his tone, and even Eldrin seems to be paying attention.

"Yeah, they warned me that the elves were coming. They also got me the nos weed to help Vaeril," I explain simply, not understanding the looks they give each other.

"The kelpies…they helped you?" Ardeth queries slowly. He tries to keep his tone light and questioning, just an academic asking for more information, but I can tell he's just as astounded as the others.

"Yeah, I don't know why you're so surprised." Leaning forward in my chair, I shift my weight, starting to feel the need to move. I'm getting uncomfortable under all their stares. "Sure, they were angry, really angry, but they helped me, and they didn't have to. I think their reputation has been exaggerated." Pushing up from my chair, I start to move around. I never go farther than a couple of steps away, but I just need some space, tired of feeling like a strange new creature that's been discovered. I know, to them, I probably am, but I'm just as shocked by these revelations as they are.

"No, they are cruel creatures. It's you," Naril states, before turning to Ardeth. "Could it be the connection with the wood elves?"

The scholar scratches his beard as he considers the question. "Even the wood elves stay away from the kelpies." Finally, he shakes his head as if he can't come up with an answer. "She's different." They all turn to look at me again.

I feel overwhelmed. The need to run, to hide, fills me with such urgency, my heart speeds up, my body preparing me to escape.

"I need…I need—"

Sensing my panic through the bond, Vaeril addresses the others. "Let's take a break." I don't miss the glare he levels at them before turning to me, and I notice he doesn't move any closer, probably worried he would scare me off. He's right. "Clarissa, would you like to see the gardens?"

"Yes, please," I answer immediately.

"Clarissa, it was a pleasure meeting you. I look forward to seeing you again," Ardeth says, as he stands from his chair, smiling while he nods his head in my direction, picking up on Vaeril's actions.

"Thank you, Ardeth." I'm thanking him for more than just the information he gave me today, and I know he could become a close friend if I stay here. If .

"Let's go." Vaeril gestures for me to walk ahead of him, back the way we came, before throwing a look at the twins over his shoulder. I hear their low voices, but I can't tell what they're saying, too quiet for my human hearing to pick up.

As we exit the library, Vaeril takes up his position at my side, but he doesn't touch me, staying a couple of steps apart from me and giving me the space I need. Glancing over my shoulder, I see the twins are following behind us, but far enough away to give the illusion of privacy. My heart pangs in my chest as we step out of the calming quiet of the library and into the main halls of the palace, sad I didn't have time to explore.

If what Vaeril says is true, then you will have plenty of time to explore, my mind reasons, and I make a mental note to come back and speak with Ardeth.

I don't pay attention to my surroundings as we walk, my thoughts on the revelations of the day. Vaeril and the twins are silent, giving me the chance to think through everything.

We reach the gardens, and they are beautiful, but I just can't muster up the energy to enjoy them, especially not with our silent companions following behind us. I can feel Eldrin's heavy gaze on my back as we stroll. I'm not sure how I know it's him, but it makes it difficult to enjoy the quiet serenity of the gardens. This garden is in a courtyard with each side walled in, so I'm only just able to hear the waves on the other side of the palace.

"Can you take me back to my rooms?" I request eventually, staring off into the distance. Vaeril's eyes scan my face, but I keep looking around the garden, not wanting to see his expression.

"Of course," he responds quietly, gesturing for me to follow him.

In silence, we leave the gardens, and he guides me back to the residential floor, stopping when we reach my door. Leaning against the frame, he glances over my shoulder, frowning slightly.

"We will be okay from here."

At first, I think he's speaking to me, but as I look up from the wooden door, I see he's talking to the twins. Naril nods and turns to start walking away, pausing with a frown when Eldrin stays where he is. He leans against the wall, scowling.

"Is being part elf so bad?" he queries, anger lacing his words.

"Eldrin!" Vaeril barks, looking around the currently empty hall, aware that anyone could be listening.

A laugh bubbles up from my throat, and I turn to stare at Eldrin. "Is that why you think I'm upset? Because I don't want to be part elf?" My voice is reproachful as I narrow my eyes at him. How could he think that of me?

He doesn't know you, what you've been through. He is thinking only with his hurt ego.

"Eldrin," Naril calls with frustration, a note of warning in his tone as he watches the two of us warily.

With a huff, the scarred elf pushes away from the wall and stalks towards me, his eyes flashing dangerously. He's picking a fight, purposely prodding at my exposed wounds. "Why else would you be acting like this? You're like a spoiled child not getting their own way."

"How dare you," I hiss, pushing away from Vaeril and marching up to Eldrin's smug face. He knows he's gotten under my skin, and that just makes me madder. "Because I've just learned that everything I thought I was, was a lie. My whole world has been pulled out from under my feet. I left my friends behind to rescue my enemy, only to find out he's not my enemy!" I'm right in front of him now, but he's so tall I have to crane my neck to glare at him. Many people would be intimidated, and I know that's what he wants, but he doesn't scare me. "I didn't belong with the humans, and now I find out I'm part elf, but I'll never be fully accepted here. You said so yourself," I seethe, and I see something flicker in his eyes, but I'm so worked up I can't tell what emotion it is. "I want a home, Eldrin. I thought coming here would give me answers, instead, I have more questions."

His face cracks when I talk of a home, his arms dropping from where they're crossed over his chest. Taking a step back, I spin to return to Vaeril, only to be stopped by Eldrin's hand on my shoulder.

"Clarissa," he murmurs, but I shake him off, walking back to where my friend waits by my door.

"I'll speak with you later," Vaeril says to the twins, before turning a pointed look at Naril. "Do you think you can keep him under control?"

Sighing, Naril nods and places a hand on his twin's shoulder. "Come, brother."

Without another glance at them, I open the door to my quarters and stalk inside, aware of Vaeril following me as he pulls the door softly closed behind him. Walking straight into the living space, I find a comfortable chair and curl up, staring out the window at the beautiful scenery.

"Clarissa, can we talk?" His voice comes from behind me, but I don't bother to turn, instead sighing and rubbing my hands across my face.

"I think I've heard enough today, Vaeril," I murmur, feeling bone weary. It's funny how I've done nothing physical today, yet I feel more tired than I did after we arrived at the palace.

Vaeril comes into my line of sight as he takes a seat on one of the chairs opposite me, resting his elbows on his knees. "I understand that, but I need to know you're okay."

Pulling my gaze from the window, I look over at him with interest. "Why?"

"What do you mean?" He's confused, searching my face for an explanation.

"Why do you care if I'm okay? Is it because of this bond between us? You hated me when we first met, then tolerated me when I could help you escape. When did that turn to this?" I gesture between us, my voice getting louder and more frustrated as I talk, but I'm not done. This has been bugging me for a while, and now that I've started, I find that I can't stop myself, needing to know the answer. "What I'm trying to ask is, are you only interested in me now because of the bond, is it making you feel this way?"

Understanding enters his eyes, and he leans back in his chair. "I don't know exactly when it happened, it was slow. But the bond doesn't make you feel anything, it just enables you to be closer to your mate," he clarifies. Reaching up, he runs his hand through his long silver hair, suddenly seeming nervous.

Why?

"You can reject the bond if it's not what you want, if you don't want me as a mate. I won't pressure you into this." As soon as he says it, I can tell he wants to take it all back, but he can't, he won't. He's always been honest with me.

Why wouldn't I want him? It should be the other way around. Why would he want to be paired with a hybrid who has nothing, who owns nothing?

"You know I'm part elf now, so you don't have to be so disgusted with my human heritage," I joke, but the words come out flat. I meant it as a slight to myself, but anger flares in his eyes and he jumps to his feet at the accusation.

"I was never disgusted by you!" he insists, but at my look he huffs. "When I first met you, I was disgusted—but not by you, never by you. I was disgusted at what they would do to a poor youngling like you, that they would put you down there with a being that could kill you," he explains, pacing in front of me, his mind lost in his memories. "I am used to humans treating me with disgust, so I expected that from you too." Suddenly, he's in front of me, kneeling at my feet. "When you didn't, I was intrigued, but then I thought it could be a trick to get me to tell you my secrets. Then you showed me your marks and I knew we were more alike than I had realised." Reaching out slowly, his fingers brush my slave marks, and a shiver of arousal snakes through my body, bringing a small gasp from my lips. His eyes jump to mine, his expression knowing. "When you broke the spell on my cuff, that's when I knew you were different. Besides, they would never have put you down there with me if they knew you could free me," he finishes, watching me carefully as his fingers continue to stroke the delicate skin on my wrist, the caress awakening desire within me.

We're quiet for a long time, just basking in each other's company, his fingers moving higher and higher up my arm with each stroke. I want to lose myself in these feelings, just to be close to someone, to feel wanted, but there's something I just can't push away.

"I don't know where I belong. I had hoped to make a home here, but I see that's not an option." My voice is breathy, so it doesn't have the effect I had been going for, but Vaeril stops stroking my arm, a slight frown pulling at his brow.

"You will always have a home with me, whether you accept the bond or not. A home isn't any one physical place, it's somewhere you feel safe. The people around you make a home. I can do that." My chest aches, and I believe him. I know he would care for me, even if I chose not to accept this bond between us. But it's never just been Vaeril.

My heart squeezes painfully in my chest as it's gripped by fear that I'm about to wreck everything. He's just offered me his world, and I'm about to tell him it's not enough. "What about my...friends?"

There's a heavy pause as he mulls over my question, knowing I'm not talking about Aileen and Wilson. "The mage? The man from the mountains?"

Nodding, I bite my lip. Other than a kiss, nothing else has happened with either of them, but I'm pulled to them just as much as I am to Vaeril. I don't mention the bond with them, not yet, not until I figure out more about how it works.

"I can help you forget about them." He rises on his knees, his voice soft as his hands land on my thighs, sliding slowly up as he moves in closer, lighting a fire inside me.

My throat is tight. I know what's about to happen, and I want to give into it, I'm desperate to give into it, but I need him to know how much they mean to me. "I don't know if I can ever forget—"

"Clarissa," he interjects, his face so close to mine now that I can feel his breath against my skin. "I can be everything you need," he promises.

"Vaeril—"

His lips are a hairbreadth away from my own, but he pauses, waiting for me to speak, for me to make the first move. My mind scrambles, so focused on the elf before me and how good it feels to be here with him. In moments like this, I can almost forget everything that's happened, it's just him and me. I know if I pull away, tell him I'm not ready, he will respect that decision, but that's not what I want.

Surging forward, I close the gap between us, a noise of surprise escaping from his throat which quickly disappears when he kisses me back. He moans, wrapping his arms around me and pulling me onto his lap so I'm straddling him. Embracing him, I press myself against his body, feeling the evidence of his desire for me. I've had sex a couple of times in my life, but they were always hurried, desperate needs for release, yet this is different. I feel like he's consuming me, or that my desire is so fierce that it will consume me if I don't state this need within me.

All of a sudden, he pulls away with a pained look on his face. He rests his forehead against mine, and I notice his chest is rising and falling in rapid movements like my own, his breath quick as he tries to clear his head enough to speak.

"Clarissa, wait," he starts, before pausing when my hands slide up under his shirt, my fingers moving over the scars on his back. "The bond, we need to talk about sealing it."

"I don't want to talk about the bond anymore," I whisper against his lips.

With a confidence I didn't know I possessed, I bite his lower lip, and his resulting growl sends a flash of need straight to my core.

"Clarissa—" His hand threads into my hair and twists, gently pulling me back so he can stare at me. "You are perfect." Looking into his eyes, I can see he's fighting a battle, but I've had enough of waiting.

My cheeks flush at his appraisal, which only makes his smile grow. He releases my hair, and our lips crash back together like there's a magnet pulling us towards one another, my hands on his shoulders as I draw him against me.

I'm so consumed by him that it takes a while for the sound to cut through my bliss, and it's only at Vaeril's growl that I pull away and realise someone is pounding on the door.

"Vaeril!" Naril's shout is muffled, but thewarning in his voice is clear. Whatever is going on outside is enough to ruffle the feathers of the warrior brothers, so it must be a threat.

We look at each other before jumping to our feet and rushing towards the door, and even I can hear the arguing and shouting in the corridor as someone makes their way towards us.

Is someone trying to attack us? No, they wouldn't be arguing if we were under attack.

Vaeril takes a step in front of me, his face barely recognisable as he snarls, dropping into a defensive stance. "I will protect you," he tells me, his voice more guttural than I'm used to hearing from him. I'm about to open my mouth, to say, something, anything, but I hear a shout that makes me freeze.

"Clarissa!"

The door suddenly flies open, broken off its hinges. Vaeril is trying to hold me back, but I need to get past him—I have to see the person who called my name. I manage to slip under the elf's arm, only to come to an immediate stop. The tall figure is one I recognise, his body heaving as he raises his axe, resting it on his shoulder. "I found you."

Eldrin and Naril appear behind him with anger and frustration on their faces as they stare at the intruder. "You know him?" Eldrin growls, and I know he would like nothing more than to throw him out of the closest window.

I'm not dreaming, this is really happening. Taking a step forward, I run my eyes over the familiar man in front of me, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.

"Tor?"