Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

" I swear, Childers, if you do not remove this heaviness from yourself, then I simply will not attend with you this evening. You can take your own carriage."

James scowled and then picked up his glass of brandy.

"I am quite contented. I do not know what it is that you are speaking of."

"I am sure that you do." Lord Kingshill threw back his brandy and then set the glass down on the table by his side. "Ever since I arrived, you have been in some dark mood and, quite frankly, I have no interest in being in your company if you are going to continue in this way."

Refilling his brandy glass, James lifted it in a half toast.

"I can assure you, my friend, that this brandy will help my mood a great deal."

He took a sip and watched as his friend frowned at him, but much to James' surprise, he found that he did not care. Ever since Lord Kingshill had stepped into the room, James had found his mind filled with a heaviness that he could not explain. It had only worsened as Lord Kingshill had spoken of what he had shared with Lady Prudence, to the point that James now found himself not in the least bit inclined towards his friend's company. Not that he could tell him such a thing, however, for to speak of his present feelings when he was so utterly confused would not be wise.

"So, are you going to tell me of your reasons for your present disinclination or are you going to leave me to guess?"

James rolled his eyes.

"As I have said, I am quite well."

"But you are not acting as though you are," his friend said, a little more quietly. "If something is troubling you, then why do you not speak to me of it? We are friends, are we not?"

Looking sidelong at his friend, James sat down and then shrugged.

"I do not…" Trailing off, he shook his head to himself and then sighed. Was it worth telling Lord Kingshill the truth, albeit without mentioning Lady Prudence's name? Perhaps Lord Kingshill would be able to offer some advice. After all, the only thing James wanted was to remove Lady Prudence from his thoughts. "I will confess that there is a desire growing within my heart for one particular lady. And I do not like it."

Lord Kingshill's eyebrows rose high.

"Goodness."

"It is very strange and a good deal irritating," James continued, his face flushing hot as he tried to find a way to explain himself without giving too much detail away. "This young lady has caught my attention, though there is nothing remarkable about her. I do not want to be thinking about her and I certainly have no intention of pursuing her! That is not the sort of gentleman I am and not the sort of gentleman I want to be either!"

Much to his surprise, Lord Kingshill chuckled, making him scowl all the more.

"Goodness, I did not think that I would ever hear such words from your lips! How can it be that you have an affection for a young lady?! Do you know what it is you are giving up?"

"I am not giving up anything, aside from these feelings!" James exclaimed, anger beginning to burn hot within him. "I have no affection, as you call it. There is nothing within me like that, I can assure you!"

His friend shrugged.

"Whatever you wish to call it, it is clear that you have some feelings for this young lady, whoever she is." He smiled broadly, his eyes twinkling with evident mirth, which only made James' anger bubble with fury. "Might I ask who this lady is?"

James folded his arms over his chest.

"I was looking for your advice as to how I might rid myself of this but instead, all you do is seek to mock me."

"I do not mock you, I assure you!" Lord Kingshill continued to grin, though he settled back in his chair now, rather than showing any eagerness to depart. "You wish for my advice then? You want to know how to rid yourself of such feelings?"

"I do." James let his hands drop back to his lap. "As I have said, I have no desire for these emotions. I told you of them because you are my friend, not because I wish to be teased about them."

"Very well." Lord Kingshill rubbed his hands together, his smile finally beginning to fade. "Might I suggest that you go and garner the attention of someone else entirely?"

James blinked, his eyebrows lifting.

"You mean I should go and spend some time with another young lady this evening?"

His friend shrugged.

"Why not? I am sure that, should you do so, then you will soon begin to forget about all that you feel." He tilted his head and then began to smile. "It may be more that your attention must be focused on more than one young lady, but I am certain that you shall soon find yourself back to as you always have been."

"That is, in fact, a good thought," James admitted, speaking a little more quietly as he considered the upcoming evening. "I think you may be right, Kingshill."

"Good!" Lord Kingshill rose to his feet. "Then are we to attend this soiree?"

"Yes," James stated, firmly. "Let us go. I am sure I will be able to find an interesting young lady to speak to very quickly indeed!"

"A wonderful evening, yes," James murmured, moving a little closer to Lady Juliette as he smiled down into her eyes. "You have been wonderful company, Lady Juliette."

"I am glad to hear it."

Lady Juliette smiled back at him only to then move away a little, putting the correct distance between them.

James' heart began to sink towards the ground, his shoulders dropping just a little. Clearly, Lady Juliette had no intention of letting him get close to her, even though she had done such a thing before. In fact, James had stolen the smallest of kisses from her once, some months ago and now, this evening, had thought he might try to do so again, given Lord Kingshill's advice. Anything to remove the thought of Lady Prudence from his thoughts.

"Should you like to walk with me for a few minutes?" he asked, leaning down towards her, his arm put out towards her. "I should be very glad of your company."

Lady Juliette looked up at him, her eyes gleaming gently.

"You are very generous, Lord Childers. Might I ask if you have any genuine interest in me, however?"

A little confused at the question, James frowned.

"Of course I do."

"But you do not think of courtship or the like?"

Surprised, James hesitated and then shook his head.

"I confess that I do not think of any such thing as that, not yet, at least."

Lady Juliette took another step away from him, her arms folded.

"So you will do all that you can to capture me in your arms but you have no thought of pursuing me in a genuine, proper manner?"

All the more confused, James took a few moments to answer, looking at her and wondering why she was asking him such things when, previously, she had been very willing indeed to let him pull her close to him.

"You are aware that I am looking for a husband, I suppose?" Lady Juliette lifted one eyebrow, her lips pursing as James frowned heavily. "I thought that, in permitting you such liberties, I might find myself favored by you. After all, you are a Marquess, and to have a Marquess as my husband would be rather delightful, I am sure. But you, however, encouraged an intimacy with me and thereafter, I found myself entirely forgotten! I was certain I saw you laughing and teasing the widowed Lady Huntington only the day after our… moment… and now, for whatever reason, you have come back to me, no doubt hoping that I would permit you the same liberties again. Yes?"

Greatly astonished at the young lady's fervor, and her bold manner, James found himself quite at a loss as to what to say. He tried twice to speak, tried twice to offer her an explanation but instead, all that came from him was a gruff exclamation which made very little sense whatsoever.

"I see."

Lady Juliette blinked rapidly, making heat rush into James' face as he realized the significance of what he had done. Lady Juliette had thought more would come from his interest in her, and yet, when it had not and she had found herself rejected, that had injured her severely.

James frowned, looking away from Lady Juliette's white face. He had never cared about such things before. Why should he do so now? It was not as though she was the first young lady he had taken liberties with! No doubt there were more than a few young ladies who had all been expecting a little more from him, but he had never once given their view of him any sort of consideration, and there was certainly no desire nor intention for him to do that now. Steeling himself, James inclined his head just a little.

"My dear Lady Juliette, I did not think that you were seeking anything more than a brief connection," he said, seeing how she kept her gaze turned away from him. "I was certain that you understood–"

"Do not for a moment think that you shall place the blame for this present situation upon my shoulders!" Lady Juliette hissed, stepping closer to him now, her eyes like shards of broken glass. "You did not truly believe that it was I who sought only a brief connection! That was what you wanted and yet your sweet words and kindness to me made me believe that courtship was in your thoughts. It was a deliberate deception, and I am not about to take any sort of responsibility for it. Now, kindly take your leave of me and do not think to come near me again."

Her face white, she held his gaze steadily, anger pouring from her towards him, and James, still somewhat astonished, lifted both his hands in defense.

"I shall never speak a word to you again, Lady Juliette, I swear," he mumbled, suddenly at a bit of a loss as regarded what he ought to do next. Such a thing had never happened to him before! Never once had he had any young lady speaking to him in such a way, never had he felt such anger and vehemence being directed towards him. He was known to be a rogue, known to be a scoundrel of the highest order. What had made Lady Juliette believe that she was going to capture his heart?

With a sigh, James turned around, only to come face to face with Lady Prudence. She, being a wallflower, had been standing at the side of the room and James had not noticed her there when he had suggested to Lady Juliette that they come to stand together in the shadows.

For some reason, a great swell of embarrassment rose up within him, filling his heart and making it squeeze painfully. He did not seem to know where to look and struggled to keep his gaze on her, given the expression which was spreading across her face. It was not as though she despised him, not as if she were berating him, only that she seemed almost sad, perhaps disappointed, to see the sort of gentleman that he was. James tried to brush off that particular feeling, tried to tell himself that he owed her nothing, but all the same, the feeling would not leave him. Swallowing hard, he turned away from her also, and strode across the room, suddenly desperate to leave the soiree – and everyone in it – far behind him.