Chapter 20

CHAPTER 20

S ebastian and Delacourt had sparred dozens of times over the years. He knew how hard his friend could punch. As he sat on the floor, jaw aching, Sebastian stared up at him.

"That was the best punch you've thrown in years."

"Don't try to joke your way out of this," Delacourt said, his voice deceptively quiet. "Bentley, get out. Say nothing of this, do you understand?" He hadn't even looked over his shoulder, keeping his glare on Sebastian.

Sebastian saw from the corner of his eye that Marianne had begun to lift her dress up over her chemise, cheeks flaming as she refused to look at anyone in the room. But at least she was covered, at least this wasn't as awful as it could have been.

"Yes, my lord," Bentley said, his voice shaking as he exited the room and shut it behind him.

"Finn," Marianne began.

"Don't say a word until you've fully dressed," Delacourt growled at her, then said to Sebastian, "Get up, you foul fuck, and turn your back so my sister may have some privacy."

Sebastian stood as he'd been told and fastened the flap his trousers. He'd so desperately wanted to remove them not a moment before so that he could feel Marianne's legs tangling with his as he drove into her, her body writhing beneath his. But now he was happy it took so little to recover himself to some acceptable level.

He turned his back. Delacourt was standing just in front of him and he did the same. Sebastian's heart sank. His friend's shoulders were rolled forward, trembling with rage. He could feel the heat of that emotion coming off of Delacourt in waves. And there was nothing he could say or do to change it.

"I need help buttoning," Marianne said softly. "Sebastian, will you?"

Delacourt pivoted and launched himself forward. "There is no way in hell that Ramsbury is going to button your dress, Marianne."

Sebastian tensed, waiting for her to burst into tears or bow her head in the face of her brother's anger. But instead she folded her arms, the gap of her dress increasing with the motion. Delacourt pursed his lips and lifted his gaze to the ceiling.

"Then we're at an impasse," Marianne said in a remarkably calm tone considering the circumstances. "You have ordered me to dress. I cannot do it by myself. I doubt you want to go calling for servants to come in and have even more of them see what you've witnessed. And I have no interest in you buttoning my clothing, Phineas. I assume you don't either. It seems a bit too intimate for siblings, does it not?"

Delacourt's expression twisted and he threw up his hands. "Fine, bloody hell, let him button you." He stepped forward. "But I swear on everything that is holy, Ramsbury, if you go too far?—"

"I think we can all agree it's a bit late for that," Sebastian said softly. "And I have no intention of doing anything untoward to Marianne with you glaring daggers into my soul."

He stepped forward to Marianne as Delacourt turned away a second time. Although she was putting on a tough front, as he neared her, he saw the glimmer of tears in her eyes. He wanted so much to take her hand, to comfort her. Instead he cupped her elbows, squeezing gently before he turned her so he could button her dress.

"Do everyone a favor, Delacourt, and light some lamps or set the fire. I doubt you want to have whatever conversation is coming next in the dark."

"No, we only soil things in the dark, don't we?" Delacourt grunted. "You only sneak around in the dark ruining my sister."

"Oh, Finn, light the fire, for heaven's sake," Marianne said, her voice trembling.

Sebastian ignored Delacourt now, focusing only on Marianne as he fastened her dress swiftly. When Delacourt moved away, he allowed himself to swiftly touch the exposed skin just below her neck where her chemise began.

"I'm sorry," he said softly.

"It was both of us," she whispered back. "And I know you have far more to lose."

"Stop whispering, you two," Delacourt said, the wood hitting the grate with a crash that made Marianne jump.

Sebastian buttoned the last button and stepped away. Marianne drew a long breath and he was close enough to hear it shaking, then she returned to the settee where he had made love to her, where he had surrendered himself in ways he didn't think he'd ever done.

She blushed as she took her place there, but there was a regal quality to her expression as she looked at her brother and waited, wordless, for whatever punishment would come. Sebastian straightened his back and decided to do the same. If she could behave with such courage, he had to at least try to be as worthy of her as he could be.

The light in the room lifted as Delacourt finished with the fire and then lit a few lamps. Only then did he truly look at his sister. Sebastian did the same. She was still flushed from some combination of pleasure and humiliation. Her hair was mussed from his fingers, from the way she'd thrown her head back as she rippled around him in pleasure.

She had never been so utterly beautiful. How he wanted to keep her like this forever, mussed by his ardor, locked away where they would never be interrupted.

"I'm doing my best not to shout and draw the attention of over fifty people gathered in our ballroom," Delacourt said through clenched teeth. "So I will ask that you two do not trifle with me, do not lie to me. What the hell is going on that I would find you in such a situation?"

Sebastian glanced at Marianne, but she wouldn't look back at him. She stared at her brother, chin lifted. Her pain was just at the surface, despite her attempts to remain strong. Sebastian wanted so desperately to ease it.

"You know how I am—" he began.

Marianne pushed to her feet. "He didn't know it was me."

"What?" Sebastian and Delacourt said at once, both staring at her.

She smoothed her hands over her skirt and nodded. "It's…it's true. I saw Sebastian come into the room from the terrace and I followed him. He must have been expecting someone else, but it was so dark that when he kissed me, he didn't know it was me. I let him, Finn. I know I'll be a spinster forever and I let him without ever revealing myself. I tricked him into what happened, so you shouldn't blame him."

Sebastian stared at her, mouth dropping open in shock. Marianne would sacrifice herself for him? Try to save a friendship that she knew meant the world to him, and in the process possibly damage her own relationship with Delacourt?

"Marianne," Delacourt whispered, his gaze shifting to Sebastian with confusion now. "Is this true?"

She opened her mouth to say yes, still offering Sebastian that lifeline. But he couldn't allow it. He couldn't dismiss her like this lie would require. He couldn't pretend that this hadn't been something with more meaning than a dark, anonymous passion that horrified him when he saw the truth. He wouldn't pretend that, consequences be damned.

"It's not true," he said softly.

"Sebastian." She stepped toward him, hand outstretched as if she would touch his hand like she had so many times in quiet comfort. "Don't. Don't."

He shook his head. "You are too good, Marianne. Too good for me, certainly. I won't let you do this."

Delacourt stared from her and back to Sebastian. "So she lied."

"To protect me," he said. "Yes. What you walked in on is exactly what you think it was. I engaged in ungentlemanly behavior with your sister. I knew the consequences to our friendship if you were to find out. I did it anyway because my attraction toward her was irresistible."

Marianne's breath caught and she stared at him in surprise. He shifted beneath the powerful emotion that was unguarded on her face in that moment. And he knew Delacourt saw it too. His lips pinched.

"He took advantage," Delacourt said, the anger rolling from him once again.

She shook her head. " Never . Never once. I know it's hard for you to see me as a woman with feelings and needs and a heart," she said. "But I am those things, Finn. I didn't want to live my life like Claudia did, to reflect only on regrets and missed opportunities when I'm at the end and looking back. Sebastian has been my friend for so long. And I've…I've cared for him as more than a friend for nearly as long."

Sebastian tensed. She wouldn't look at him and yet it felt like she was reaching into his heart and squeezing.

She continued without ever knowing her effect on him. "What happened between us was between two adults. It has nothing to do with you, Finn. It has nothing to do with your friendship."

"Bloody hell it doesn't," Delacourt snapped. He shook his head. "God, I don't even know what to do. I never imagined my maiden sister would crawl into the lap of one of the biggest rakes in England."

Marianne drew back, her dark eyes flashing briefly. "Oh, I'm sorry, is it so hard to believe that I might have some daring in my soul? That I might want more than to be some man's consolation prize as a bride? That I might want to feel the things I felt in Sebastian's arms?"

Delacourt flinched and turned his head. He let out his breath shakily. "Go up to your chamber, Marianne," he said softly. "I'll explain to those at the party that you were stricken with a headache. The result of all your hard work to make this ball so successful, no doubt."

"You're banishing me," she said, tears filling her eyes that broke Sebastian's heart because they were his fault.

"No." His tone became gentler, and for that Sebastian was happy. "I'm allowing you a chance not to have spying eyes on you when your hair is half down thanks to him. Not to be forced to pretend that this untenable situation hasn't happened. And giving myself an opportunity to calm down before we speak about this again." He moved forward. "Please, Mari. Just go."

Sebastian turned his head. He'd asked her to do the same not an hour ago. She'd refused. Refused to leave him, refused to pretend like what was happening between them wasn't real and powerful. She was far braver than Sebastian.

However, she listened to her brother this time and only gave Sebastian one more glance before she marched from the room with her head held high. He noticed she left the door open behind herself.

"Still protecting you, it seems." Delacourt rolled his eyes as he went to the door and shut it himself. When he turned back, he leaned against the barrier and shook his head. "You betrayed me. Betrayed my singular request of you."

"I did," Sebastian said, because he could deny none of it.

Delacourt shook his head and his mouth turned farther down. "That's all you have to say?"

"Is there anything I could say?" Sebastian asked.

Now that Marianne was gone and he no longer felt the drive to protect her, the truth of this situation became more and more clear. And increasingly painful. Delacourt could hardly look at him now and when he did it was with an expression heavy with disgust.

"I don't know." Delacourt threw up his hands. "For years and years, I have stood by you. I never judged your worst impulses. Hell, I sometimes indulged in them. I knew who you were, or at least I thought I did. And I asked you this one thing, out of respect for me and our friendship."

"I know," Sebastian said softly.

"So tell me you regret doing this, tell me you're sorry you did something that will change our friendship irrevocably."

Sebastian opened his mouth. He should apologize for those things. He should guard the friendship that had saved his life over the brief affair that had left him open to all this. But he couldn't.

"I'm—I'm not sorry that I touched Marianne," he said. "I am sorry you are betrayed by it."

Delacourt stared at him for what felt like an eternity, his gaze narrow and even. Sebastian braced to be hit again, but instead, Delacourt turned away. "In the morning, you'll leave at dawn. I don't care where you go, but you won't be here. I'll make some excuse about an emergency that called you away."

Sebastian bent his head. "I understand."

"You won't crow about this conquest, do you understand?" Delacourt stepped up to him, and there was no denying the seriousness in his tone or his face. "If you ever make this public, I will rip your heart out."

Sebastian almost laughed. Delacourt had been the only person in the world who ever thought he had a heart to extract. And Marianne. Marianne had always believed it. She'd made him believe it. Now he was losing both of them.

"I'd never hurt your sister in that way."

"Just in every other way that matters," Delacourt muttered, and turned to leave the room.

"Don't be hard on her," Sebastian called out. "She doesn't deserve that."

Delacourt froze at the door and slowly turned back. His nostrils flared slightly and he let out a long, shuddering sigh. "No," he agreed softly. "She doesn't."

Then he left the room and shut the door firmly behind him, leaving Sebastian to bend to get his shirt and put it back on. He did so slowly, his heart aching as what had happened fully sank in. He'd lost his best friend.

And he realized with a start, as he gathered up the rest of his abandoned clothing, that he wasn't thinking entirely about Delacourt. He'd lost Marianne, too, and that was what caused his chest to ache, his eyes to sting and his hands to shake as he slipped from the room to begin the packing that would be required for him to sneak off into the dawn tomorrow like the thief he was.