Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

I n spite of it all, it felt rather brilliant to be leaving London behind.

It had been home for as long as Samantha could remember, but that was only because it was the only place that she had truly been to other than Diana's household. Not only that, but her place of birth had never truly felt like her home.

Nowhere had.

"So…" she began tentatively, "that was quite something."

"Quite."

That was all that her husband said to her, and he did not even turn to look at her to say it. Instead, he continued to look out of the window as if he wished to be anywhere but there.

"Did you not wish to leave yet?" she asked. "I must admit that I did not see too much of you, and I understand if our leaving interrupted your fun."

"No, I do not miss the wedding."

"Very well, then."

It was strange. For all of his quirks, he had never been distant with her. If anything, he had been all too close to her, and though mildly aloof, it had never been to such an extent that she did not know whether she was liked or loathed by him.

Time seemed to crawl on, and even though she knew the household was not too far away, they would need to stop for the night before their arrival. It was, at least, in the direction of Diana's home. At worst, she would simply have to spend a lot of time there.

"Your Grace, I —"

"Graham," he said bluntly. "We are married now. I do not like my title as it is, and now that we have a good enough excuse, I shall never want to hear any allusion to it again."

"As you wish. In that case… Graham, when will we be stopping?"

"Before nightfall, I believe. It should not be too much further from here."

"That is good because I am quite parched from the vows. They were quite long, were they not?"

She was trying to make him laugh, but he did not. He seemed to not want to speak or to laugh or to be anywhere near her at all. She shifted in her seat, wondering what had happened that day that had made him dislike her all of a sudden. She missed how he treated her when they first met, if anything, because at least then he recognized that she existed.

"Did my father say something to you?" she asked. "Or my brother?"

"Beyond empty congratulations and possible business ventures that I want no part in, no. That is, your brother's congratulations and your father's business plans."

"So, it is my father?"

"It is nothing, Samantha."

She sighed, looking out of the window as the city streets became greener the further from London they were. It was all as empty as she felt.

At last, they reached an inn. It was a welcome break from the silence, and it felt warm even in the cool evening air. There were people, and they were all speaking to one another kindly. There were no harsh words exchanged or tussles as she had pictured when she imagined what her father did on his nights away, but normal people eating and drinking. She longed to be a part of it.

"I shall have someone show you to your room," Graham said briskly as they approached the door.

"No!" She squeaked before clearing her throat. "I mean, if it is all right with you, I would rather speak to some of the locals here. Would that be all right?"

"I… I suppose so. I can stay nearby if you wish."

"You need not trouble yourself, honestly. If all else fails, I can ask to be shown to my room myself."

"Very well. I shall tell them you are here, and I shall be in my own room should you need anything."

But when he left, she felt as though something was missing from her. She shook the thought from her mind. Graham did not wish to speak to her, and he did not seem able to tell her why, and it was her wedding night, and she was determined to enjoy herself.

Fortunately, she was welcomed in immediately.

"I do believe that was the Duke of Gloryfield," one gentleman said, looking directly at Samantha.

"And if he is the duke," the lady beside him nodded slowly, "you must be his duchess?"

"That would be me, indeed, yes," she smiled meekly. "As of today, that is."

"Ah, your honeymoon!" the lady said, narrowing her eyes at her with a grin. "A splendid occasion indeed. Where is he?"

"He is retiring to his bedchambers, I believe."

"And leaving his new duchess to us wolves?"

"I insisted. He is no doubt tired after all of the effort he put into the ceremony, but I wish to meet people."

"You must have been kept in an awful lot by your parents," she noted. "Come, sit with us. I have never been seated beside a duchess!"

"I am hardly a duchess," Samantha laughed as a drink was poured for her. "Such a title was bestowed upon me today, and I am yet to even see my household. It is not exactly as though I am settled into my role yet."

"That counts for nought," the gentleman laughed. "You have the ring thus you have the title thus you are the Duchess of Gloryfield, meaning that my wife is most honored to sit beside you."

"It is an honor to meet all of you, truly," she replied with a smile.

It then dawned on her that she would never see these people again; they were miles from her new home and were unlikely to be titled in any way, but they were nice to her, and that was something she was not yet accustomed to, no matter how kind Lady Penelope had been at the party.

"You are right," she continued. "My parents were certainly not of the ordinary sort. My mother died when I was an infant, and my father… Let us just say that he did as well as any man that did not wish to be a father could do."

This made the men laugh, but the women sighed softly.

"Then let us hope that yourself and the Duke show a little more kindness to your children, yes?" the lady suggested.

"We certainly intend to."

There it was again, the way the lies fell from her so effortlessly. Was it truly so wrong of her to give people false hope that they would have an heir? They likely did not care at all, and yet there was almost a sense of duty within her to make them believe that she would be a good duchess.

She had to be a good duchess.

"If you ask me," another gentleman began, "it will be a nice change of pace to have a Duchess of Gloryfield once more. We all remember what happened after the other one passed away."

"What happened, if you do not mind my asking?" Samantha asked, avoiding the fact that he had spoken of duchesses as if they were commodities.

"Well, the Duke was… You know how the Duke was."

She did, to an extent, but suddenly everyone fell silent, and it seemed as though nobody wished to discuss the matter anymore.

"Would you like to have a talk?" the lady asked. "Just the two of us? I would so love to speak in private with a real duchess."

"You certainly hold dukes and duchesses in high regard," she laughed. "Certainly, I would love to."

The two ladies left the table and went to the dining room. A plate of sandwiches and fruit was brought to them, and the lady pushed the entirety of it towards Samantha.

"I am not at all hungry," she smiled. "This inn is known for bringing more and more food out whether you ask for it or not. You, however, must be starving."

"I am," she sighed. "I did not have any time at all to eat today."

"I remember my wedding; it was the very same," her new friend laughed.

"How long have you been married?"

"Only four years. I thought I would never marry at all; I was too busy with my work as a seamstress, but then I met Harold, and it all made sense."

"Do you no longer work?"

"Of course, I do! We cannot all stop simply because high society thinks we should. In fact, it is my dressmaking that means we can afford to come here every week."

"And what of your children?"

She faltered slightly.

"I do not think that we shall have children," she explained. "Should we be blessed with them, then we shall find a way, but after four years and nothing to show for it in that respect… well, let us simply say that I am glad that my husband and I enjoy each other's company!"

"And you do not feel lesser than as a wife?" she asked. "Pardon my asking! You need not answer if you do not wish, but… it is a concern of mine."

"I know many ladies that have never become mothers. Some have husbands that loathe them for it, and others have husbands that rejoice in the fact that their life need never change."

"My husband does not seem to care at all."

"Then you are fortunate. You can spend your time doing what you truly love, whatever that may be."

"Well, not exactly," Samantha laughed emptily. "It is not as though there are universities desperate to have ladies attend."

"Ah. I see your predicament now. Regardless, your position will help you immensely."

"And if I have children?"

"Then you will find a way, just as myself and my husband would. It is all far easier than you might think, Your Grace. So long as you and your husband love each other, there is nothing that you cannot do."

Samantha wished to embrace the lady, but she knew it was not the proper thing to do. Then she thought about how the only way through would be if she and the Duke loved each other, and she sighed to herself. If that were to be the case, then there may be difficulty after all.

Her dinner, however, was wonderful. She succeeded in sharing parts of it with her new companion, but when she left, Samantha came to a realization.

She was terrified of inns.

Sitting alone in the room, she felt as though she was being watched. She could not see anyone, but she could feel eyes on her. It had been some time since she had attempted to flee to a nunnery, but the memories of the attack on her and Diana had not left her. She had thought about it from time to time, but now that she was in an inn, it all felt as though it had happened a mere week before.

"Excuse me," she said quickly to the innkeeper, "I am the Duchess of Gloryfield. Which room is mine?"

"I shall take you there," he suggested, eyeing her carefully.

"Thank you."

"Is everything all right, Your Grace?"

"Yes, yes of course."

"Are you certain? I can send for your husband if you wish."

"No! No, that will not be necessary."

"Very well. It is this way."

Even with the company of the innkeeper, it felt as though Samantha could not trust anyone that she saw. Someone was out to get her, just as they had been before. Just as someone had been when they blackmailed her into her marriage. Perhaps that was who was watching her?

She regretted retiring to her room. It was lovely, truly fit for a duchess, but it was also dark and silent. She waited for the sound, for something to appear out of nowhere and grab her again, but it was not coming. Was nobody coming?

Somehow, that frightened her even more. They may not arrive, but they would still be there, watching.

The door opened. Samantha screamed.

"What is it?" a startled Graham asked. "Have I done something wrong?"

Samantha watched him, her heart pounding. It was not an intruder or someone that had arrived specifically to cause her harm. It was her new husband, who seemed just as terrified as she was.

"My apologies," she said quickly, ignoring the beating in her chest. "I thought you were… someone else."

"Who else could I have been?"

He looked sharply and steadily at her, and for the first time since they had met, she felt her defenses crumble. The tears fell from her eyes, and she did not stop them. She did not know whether or not she might have been able to if she tried, but she couldn't do so regardless.

"Samantha?" he asked. "What is it?"

"It is nothing," she said breathily as she wept. "It is nothing at all."

"The way you are now would suggest otherwise," he said gently, stroking his fingertips up and down her arms. "Come, sit with me and tell me what is happening to you."

Samantha allowed him to lead her to her bed, and she took a deep breath. It had been a shameful time in her life, and she swore that only she, Diana, and Colin would ever know about it, except now that he was looking at her with those perfect blue eyes, there was nothing she could do but unravel.

"When my sister married," she began, her voice shaking, "I did something shameful. I ran away. I thought that any life without my father would be good, and so I ran. I stole a carriage and headed for a nunnery."

"That is not something to be ashamed of. You clearly turned back."

"Only because my sister followed me! She chased after me, and that night at the inn we stayed in… two men attacked us."

She saw as his hand clenched into a fist.

"Nothing too terrible happened," she promised, "but they did tie us to… to the bed. It was frightening, but we were unharmed by the end of it all. Besides, Colin came to our rescue. I hardly even know why I am so concerned about it all now. It does not make any sense."

"Of course, it does," he said gently. "It was a frightening experience, one I would not want anyone to suffer through. Is this why you asked about the journey? I would have waited until morning to leave had I known."

"I did not think it would be an issue. I did not expect any of this to happen."

"Then next time there is a problem, you must speak to me first so that we can do something about it beforehand."

"I will," she agreed. "I promise."

He was gentle with her once more, as if he had returned to his normal self and that evening had been tiredness and nothing more. She felt safe, just so long as he was there.

"Would you mind staying for a while?" she asked. "I know that nothing will happen, but…"

"You need not explain. Fear not, I shall stay with you until you fall asleep."

That was enough for her, and at last she allowed her exhaustion to take over, and she drifted off to sleep.

What she hadn't expected was for him to still be beside her when she awoke.