Chapter 7

7

Kacey slept and slept, but eventually his own stench woke him up, and he made his way down to the bathroom, intending to take himself a shower. He needed to get the blood off, the sweat and the smell of hospital.

The walk down the hall in the pre-dawn was long, a little unnerving, but he managed it and took a minute to sit on the toilet as he waited to catch his breath before he turned on the lights, figured out where the bath towels were.

Now, the fancy shower.

God, he hoped he didn’t fuck it up. He just wanted to soak.

He got the water running, and it even got warm, but he hadn’t managed to get his shirt off when there was a knock on the door.

“Everything okay?” River’s voice came through the door.

“I’m trying to get clean. I stink like spoiled cabbage.” And he needed to figure out how to manage it.

“Do you need help? Or… maybe you’d rather have a bath? I have a tub in the master bedroom.”

“I don’t know how I’d get out…” But he loved the idea of soaking in hot water.

“I’ll get you out. Shut the water off and grab a towel. I’ve seen plenty of bare asses, yours isn’t going to scare me. I’ll go start the water. You shuffle on over.” It didn’t sound like River was taking no for an answer, and he wasn’t sure he wanted to say no anyway.

“Okay.” He chuckled under his breath. “Maybe my ass is magical. You don’t know.”

There was a long silence on the other side of the door and then River said, “I’m going to start the water.”

Oh. Oops. He hadn’t thought River would actually hear him.

Him and his magical ass.

Lord have mercy.

Kacey turned off the water and found a towel, then headed out, following the way to the lit-up door, still chuckling under his breath.

“How are you feeling today? You’re walking much better.” River was sitting on the edge of a big, deep tub, one hand under the running water and his back to the door.

“I slept hard. I have to tell you, I might live. Maybe.” He wasn’t sure what to do, but he did love the broad line of River’s shoulders. Pretty, pretty.

“Good. I like you alive. And if you can’t sleep here, you’ll never sleep anywhere. Everyone who stays in the guest room tells me it’s amazing.” River got up and moved away from the tub. “You should get in. I’m not sure how deep you like it, but it’s a big tub.”

“It’s cool.” He stepped to the edge and wiggled his sweats off. “Can you help with my T-shirt?”

“Of course.” River took hold of the hem of his shirt and worked it up slowly, slipping it carefully off one arm and then the next. “Jesus, you are one big bruise. You think this tape on your ribs will survive the bath, or should I take it off?”

“Just take it off, I guess. It’s there to help the pain. It’s not doing anything else.” He was used to busted ribs, thank goodness.

“All right. I think I have a first aid kit with those weird scissors.” River reached under the vanity and came up with the kit, found the scissors, and started to cut the tape loose. “I’m sure this hurts. Just breathe.”

“Uh-huh.” River was very into breathing. Maybe it was a yoga thing. Sam did yoga. At least he could stand on his head for a long time.

He hissed when the wrap loosened. Dammit.

“Sorry.” River got it off and dropped it in the trash, then whistled softly. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen bruising like that. Damn. You’re an expert at getting your ass kicked.”

“It’s a skill.” He didn’t wink, because his eyes were pretty damn swollen right now, but he did it mentally.

River snorted. “Sweats off; let’s get your magical ass into the tub.”

“That’s me. Magical Ass Kacey.” He wanted to wiggle his butt, but there was no way. Not right now.

He stripped with River’s help and pretended that wasn’t weird. He pretended it wasn’t weird to get help into the bathtub too, and that was worth it. The water was warm, and the tub was roomy. He could take another nap right here.

“You soak.” River took a few steps back. “I’ll start some coffee. I can help with your hair when you’re ready.”

“Thanks. I ain’t a virgin. I been naked in front of folks before.” Cowboys were good at naked, actually. “I mean, I’m just saying, I’m not wigged.”

Just tired.

River snorted. “Good. I’m not wigged either; I’m rather experienced with naked bodies. I just keep trying to judge how much privacy you need.”

“I just hope I don’t fart and make bubbles in the tub.” That would be embarrassing.

“Ha!” River laughed, this big, happy sound that echoed against the tile in the bathroom. “The broody cowboy makes jokes.”

“Don’t tell no one. You’ll ruin my new, shiny reputation.”

“Okay.” River leaned against the doorframe, crossing his arms over that broad chest. “But is that the reputation you want?”

“Huh?” He’d just been making a joke. He didn’t have any reputation that he wanted to keep.

“I know that was a flippant joke, but I was just curious. You’re starting over. Your brand-new shiny reputation is whatever you want it to be.”

He shook his head. He didn’t have anyone to be. He didn’t know who to be, not now, but he couldn’t admit that to this pretty man.

“Don’t worry, you don’t need to know anything any time soon. It’s just something to think about.”

“Yeah.” God, he needed to… do something. Somehow. But he was so fucking underwater it wasn’t funny.

“You’re going to feel like a new man after your bath. I love that tub. It’s my sanctuary.” River flipped a switch, and he was surrounded by soft lighting.

“Oh…” It was so fine, so much fun. He caught himself with tears in his eyes, and he ducked under the water a bit to hide it.

“Nice, right? It can change colors if you want it to, but I always feel like that’s a bit much. There’s music too if you want it.”

“Wow. I bet you spend hours in here.” He would. He’d just float and read and jack off and sleep.

River chuckled. “Between you and me, it’s more than I probably should. I’m telling you, it’s a spiritual experience, that tub.”

Then River pushed a button and the jets started, and Kacey melted. “Oh, fuck me…”

“If that’s too strong, I can ease up a little.” He felt River’s eyes on him, watching him. “But you look like you’re enjoying it.”

“Uhn.” That was a yes. Hopefully, it was clear.

“Good. I’ll leave you to melt for a bit.” River turned on some music—nineties alternative he thought, but it wasn’t totally clear over the sound of the jets.” I’ll come back before you get pruney.”

“Thanks, man.” This was like heaven. He closed his eyes and let himself float.

God, what was he going to do? He needed to make a plan, but he just wasn’t sure where to go. Cowboy country was out. The rumor was out that he was nasty, that he forced himself on other guys. He didn’t have a lot of skills that weren’t involved in riding a bull. Maybe he could get a job sweeping floors.

Or skydiving.

Possibly he could become an influencer.

He started chuckling and shaking his head. Yeah, that was it—at-loser-cowboy.

He was floating mentally when River came back for him, the jets shutting off waking him slightly. “I’m just going to wash this wild hair, Kacey, okay?”

He didn’t get a chance to say yes or no. River’s fingers dove into his hair, massaging his scalp and the scent of shampoo filled his nostrils.

His lips parted as he tried to remember how to breathe, tried his best not to cry.

“Mm. Good boy. Does that feel good?” River’s voice was everywhere, enhanced by the tub.

He tried to answer, but he couldn’t talk past the lump in his throat, so he just nodded.

Warm water washed over his head as River rinsed the shampoo away. “You’re brand-new now, Kacey. Just starting over. I’m here for you.”

Please don’t be nice to me. Please. Cowboys don’t cry. Please just go away, because I don’t know how to feel this.

But River didn’t stop, and he didn’t go away. He stayed, and strong hands helped Kacey out of the tub and wrapped him in a big, soft towel. “You’re welcome here. This can be your home for as long as you need. As long as you want.”

“Why are you being this way? I ain’t done nothing to deserve it!”

River bent to look him in the eye. “You didn’t do anything to deserve being run out of your home either.”

He hadn’t. He hadn’t done what Mitch had said he’d done. “I didn’t do what they said. I swear to God. I ain’t a saint, but I ain’t mean.”

Kacey swore he was going to shake apart.

River pulled him in close, arms that felt like tree trunks wrapping around him, supporting his weight. “I believe you. You’re a good boy.”

“I wouldn’t never make a man be with me unwilling. I swear, I thought—” He’d thought it was love.

Well, if it was, he didn’t want none of it. It hurt.

“Oh, Kacey. I didn’t know that was—I’m so sorry. Of course you wouldn’t. I know.” River lifted him right off his feet and set him down on a bed—a huge bed. “People here will understand you, boy. I promise. I understand you.”

“I ain’t bad! I swear to you, I—I wouldn’t do it.” Now that the dam was cracking open, he couldn’t seem to stop it, to shut up.

“I know. I believe you, boy.” River popped a T-shirt over his head. The sudden shock of the jolt of pain from moving, the snug hold of the shirt, and the warmth let him stop.

“That’s a good boy. I’m listening if you want to talk. How about I pour some coffee?” River handed him some sweats.

Why do you call me boy?He wanted to ask, but he was afraid to hear any of the words that might fall out of him after.

“I know you’re ready to relax after that bath. Are you hungry?” River fussed over him, made sure he was dressed, and then picked up his laundry.

“Thank you. Yessir, please. I mean, I can buy us a pizza?” That was good, right?

“You want pizza? What’s your favorite? New York pizza is the best anywhere.” River took his hands and looked them over. “The swelling is way down. That’s great.”

“I like pizza.” He just liked all of it — pepperoni, veggie, sausage, cheese, deluxe. “What’s your favorite?”

“Hm. Pepperoni, mushroom, maybe black olives. Sometimes anchovies. Sausage.” River laughed. “I just like pizza too. Come on, let’s order delivery and flop on my comfy couch.”

“Thank you.” He didn’t understand, but he didn’t know what else to do.

“You’re welcome.” River finger-combed his damp hair, then took his hand as they left the bedroom. “And save your pennies; the pizza is on me.”