Chapter 14

14

Kacey slept like a rock.

Then he woke up, drew, made love with River, ate, and they slept again. Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they explored.

It was like the world’s most amazing vacation, and he had needed it.

He didn’t stare out the window or think or worry.

He ate and drew and rested and made love. That was it.

Now he was soaking in the tub, at River’s request. Floating in the dark with his eyes closed, the whole world just warm and smelling of almond oil. It was weird as hell.

He heard River’s footsteps and the soft sliding sound as River pulled up a little stool to sit beside the tub. “Hello, boy. How are you feeling?” River’s deep, soft voice seemed to be coming from everywhere.

The sound made him shiver, deep in his gut. “Good. A little weird. I haven’t had so many baths since I was a little kid.”

“Baths are underrated. They do so much for me mentally. They help me get my head right. I wanted you relaxed so we could talk a little.”

“You do have the magical tub.” And he was relaxed, even with the bit of worry about what River wanted to talk about.

“I do. I’m going to climb in with you, if you don’t mind.” Not that River gave him an opportunity to say no even if he’d wanted to. River slipped into the tub behind him, long legs framing his, and settled him back against a warm chest.

Oh, now this was… This was like talking in the dark with hot water and floating. It just kept getting better.

“I am taking you to the club tonight, as my sub.” River’s hands slid down his arm and rested on his wrists. “Before I launch into a long explanation, what do you already understand about that?”

He opened his mouth, about to pop off with something glib, but it felt… mean, and River was good to him, heard him, and deserved better, so Kacey took a second to answer. “That you’ll show me what I need to do. All I need to do is listen.” Listen and be willing to chill and breathe.

“Perfect. That’s the hard part.” River’s fingers moved around his wrists, his palms. “The easy part is the formal stuff. First, you need a safeword. I assume you know what that is? If so, pick something.”

“Can I just do red? It’s so easy, you know?” And if he was freaking out, he’d remember that.

He was scared that something would happen, and he’d just wig.

“Of course. Most people use it, it’s easy enough. And we’ll use yellow then for a pause. And the next thing I need to say is that you should use our words when you need them. Always. I want you to use them. You’re not disappointing me or ruining anything—just the opposite. Not using them is like… lying.”

“So… are there rules about it? Using them, I mean.” He wasn’t dumb—he’d researched, but there seemed to be a bunch of different ideas. He wasn’t sure he knew how to be a sub, or that he was suited to it.

He was sure he wanted to be with River, whatever that meant.

“Well, I have rules. Some subs think they’re doing a better job, or being more brave or something by not using them when they should. I’m just telling you to use them whenever you need to. We’re going to take everything slowly, so don’t worry about making mistakes, not understanding things. Just ask questions. But I think it’s time we see if this is… for you—for us—or not.”

He didn’t dare ask what would happen if it wasn’t. “I’ll figure it out. I’m smarter than I look.”

River chuckled. “There’s nothing for you to figure out, Kacey. You just need to breathe and relax. You’re getting good at that.”

“Yeah…” He wasn’t sure about that, but he was trying. “It feels like there’s a lot to figure out, you know?”

River’s arms wrapped around his chest. “I get that. Anything specific confusing you? Or just… a general worry?”

“Have you ever googled? It’s wild.” It was confusing and a little scary.

“Don’t google. Ugh. No more googling. That’s a new rule.” River kissed his head. “None of that is real.”

“No?” He let himself lean back, his eyes staying closed. Was River serious? Surely not. “It’s hard to know what’s truth and what’s fantasy.”

“I’m the truth. I’m all the truth you need.”

Okay, that was intense, and he didn’t know how to sit with it. “Do you like this? Being together like this?”

“Like this… in the tub? Yes.”

“Me too.” In fact, it was the safest place he’d ever been.

“I’m glad. This is my safe space. Everything is real in here.” River kissed the side of his neck. “I’m only going to tell you the truth, Kacey.”

“I don’t know—I don’t know what that means to you but thank you.” That meant so many things—he could agree not to tell a lie, but what about other thoughts? Private ones? Did they belong here? Was that even a thing?

“You’ll understand soon. I promise. You can say anything you want, ask anything you want.” River stroked his chest with one hand. “Like… I’ve never had anyone live here before. Live with me.”

“Are you happy? I mean, I know you didn’t ask for me…” And he wanted River’s peace. It was important.

“That’s a complicated question, isn’t it?” River hugged him closer. “Everything, including you has been so unexpected. It’s hard to explain what I’m feeling. But this has been an amazing week.”

“Yeah. I’m… even if you decide you’re done with me, it’s been amazing to be with you.” When River was finished, he’d still be in a better place than he’d been. At least for a while.

“I’m not done with you, boy. I’m just starting with you. We have a lot to learn about each other still, that’s all. There’s a whole… there’s… more to me, that’s all.”

“Are you a dragon?” Kacey teased. He could almost—almost—see that. It was a silly fantasy, but there was a comfort in River that he loved.

“No, but wouldn’t that be great? A big green one with wings. And I could breathe fire at people that got in our way.”

“Mmm… I love it. You would make an amazing dragon—fierce and protective.” And he needed to shut the fuck up, even if it was true.

River hummed, and the sound vibrated against his back. “I like that. Is that how you see me? Fierce?”

“God yes.” River made him feel like—Kacey didn’t even know how to make it into something he understood. It had been a little over a week. And he was living this fairy-tale life that was going to come to a screeching halt at some point, but somehow, River was… like a touchstone.

“Well, that might work nicely for you this evening—that you should have confidence, knowing I am your fierce protector.” River wasn’t making fun of him. There wasn’t a hint of sarcasm in his tone at all.

“Are folks going to be coming after me?” It wouldn’t be the first time, but he liked to have a shot or two before it happened.

River sighed. “No. I’m sorry. Not at all. I just mean if you were feeling uncomfortable or… something. Bad choice of words, I guess.”

“Oh, yeah. It’s new. It’s weird to me. And I’m new, so I’m weird to them.” It made sense.

“You’re a wise boy.” River smoothed a hand over his abs. “Now, rules. At the club, you have to call me either Sir or Master River, your choice. Never my name alone. And unless a Dom asks, you don’t look them in the eye either. Submissive at all times. Questions?”

“So… wait. What do you mean by ask?” Because “yo, look at me” would put his back up, and he just couldn’t imagine someone going, “please look up”…

That made him think of a horror movie somehow.

“Well, okay. It would probably be more like an order. Like… ‘look at me, boy’ or, ‘let me see your eyes,’ or even, ‘it’s okay to look at me.’ Something like that.”

“I sort of want to just not look at anyone, I think. I’ll fuck up less that way.” And he’d be less likely to have a fight. Snap. Be a bitch.

River chuckled and nuzzled his neck. “Every new sub says that. You’ll be fine. Everyone makes mistakes too, so don’t worry.”

“Do I have to do anything but be quiet?” Submissive meant quiet, so far as he understood. Nice and quiet.

“Only everything I tell you to do. Some of that will be quiet.” River’s fingers slipped between his legs and curled around his cock.

His eyes flew open, and he sucked in a breath. “I-I’m so listening.”

“I bet you are.” River stroked him long and slow. “Good boy.”

He wasn’t sure what he was doing that was good, but he’d take it. He was so willing to be this kind of good.

“Okay.” River kissed his neck and started to slide out of the tub. “Time to get ready then.”

“That was totally mean, you know, getting me all warm and fuzzy.” He stole a kiss to River’s side as he moved.

“Something for you to focus on.” River offered him a hand up. “And a promise of a reward for being a good boy tonight.”

“I’ll try not to fuck up. I swear.” He stood up, mostly unbandaged but for a couple fingers. “I don’t want to embarrass you.”

“You won’t.” River wrapped a towel around his own waist, then toweled him off like he was a little kid, and pulled him into a deep, hard kiss.

That wasn’t helping him not be hard, but it totally made it easier to relax.

He’d take it. He wanted to be okay.