30. Sweet but Psycho

THIRTY

SWEET BUT PSYCHO

Sweet but Psycho, Ava Max

Roe

Four times. That’s how many times Saint made me cum in the shower. On his fingers, on his face, and twice before he was the one shattering alongside me. We had the whole protection conversation and he wanted to make sure I was sure we could have sex without condoms. After telling him three times I was sure and I was on the pill, he told me he could get tested next week, even though that was the first time he was intimate with someone without protection. He used the word ‘intimate’ and I almost wanted to fuck him again because why does he have to be the sweetest man in the world? Infuriating, yes, but sweet.

I did tell him that I was his or whatever, but I hope he knows I meant physically. While I’m seeing him, I am physically his, but that’s all I can give him. That’s all I have to give in general. Eventually, he talked me into letting him stay here until we could figure out some options like getting cameras and hopefully catching whoever was pranking me. Believe it or not, I do believe this is a prank. Nobody in their right mind would go out of their way to do the dishes or make my bed.

I took Saint home to get clothes last night. And this morning, I dropped him off at Baker Auto. Now I’m waiting for Jake to show up for his tattoo. I may not have a lot of friends but Jake is one of the few. We met a few years ago when I found myself arguing with the town committee over permits for the bar. They didn’t want to approve it and were making me jump through a million hoops to get my permits—but Jake spoke up on my behalf. And since he’s the town’s golden boy who does no wrong, they approve everything. I told him his first drink at the bar was on me and the rest is history.

He also included me in his group of friends, even added me to the group chat. But I left as quickly as I could because the girls were talking shit about other people and I don’t vibe with that. I may not be everyone’s cup of tea but I’m not talking about someone behind their back, especially if I know they’re supposed to be friends.

Cara’s ex, Cole, is also in that group and I actually hate him. I hate him as much as someone can hate another person. In fact, I wish he was the one pranking me so I would have an excuse to punch him. He strings her along every summer until she goes back to Chicago and then breaks up with her and acts like she never existed. They’re supposed to be high school sweethearts but I think that’s only in Cara’s head, and I don’t know how to help her see it. She deserves so much more than being someone’s afterthought. She deserves the world.

I hear the melody of my wind chimes, signaling that someone’s here.

“Took you long enough,” I say without looking up. But when I do, I see Jake walking in with a beautiful girl. They are both smiling, and if I wasn’t distracted by the fact that Jake is holding someone’s hand, I would say something about the fact that he’s glowing. His eyes are bright as he introduces Allie to me, and it takes everything in me not to tackle her into the ground with a hug and thank you. He deserves to be happy and if this small interaction is any indication, she definitely makes him happy.

“Hi, nice to meet you,” she says, giving me her hand.

“Likewise! You can have a seat over there,” I say, pointing at the couch and the mini fridge next to it. “Feel free to grab drinks and snacks from the fridge. There’s wine too if you want to opt for that, the glasses are right on top.” That area of the shop is one of my favorites. Hanging plants and glasses stored upside down above a wine cooler. There’s a box on top that says coffee and it has different things to make the best coffee you can think of and an espresso machine. It’s right next to the mustard yellow couch that adds a burst of color by the grass wall.

Jake takes a seat on the tattoo chair and offers me his arm. Like I need to look at it again. We’ve been working on this owl tattoo for long enough that it’s embedded in my mind. “You good?” I ask him.

He looks Allie’s way and whispers, “I’m more than good.” He smiles softly, and shit, if that doesn’t make me a tad emotional.

“So, Allie, how do you know this knucklehead?” I ask, while I put my black latex gloves on. I wipe the area clean with an alcohol pad and shave the part of the arm where the tattoo is going. I clean it again with water and green soap, and once the skin is smooth, I inspect the site. I’m adding more details and colors to an outline of an owl tattoo we’ve spent a couple sessions on already. I start pouring the inks into their caps and unwrap the fresh needle I need, getting ready to put it into the gun while Allie talks.

“We went to high school together, kind of,” she replies while sipping on some peach wine. One of the locals owns the winery that makes that one, and although I don’t drink wine, I’m supporting my local people by getting some. It’s always a hit with visitors.

“I went to Baker High my senior year and we knew each other then,” she continues, pausing while she looks at Jake. “I came back for work and, as fate would have it, we met again.”

Jake is also looking at her from the tattoo chair and I can tell by this whole interaction that they are so in love with each other.

“Mmm, so high school sweethearts rekindling their love? How ‘second chance romance’ of you,” I say and we both laugh.

Jake looks confused, casting his eyes between the two of us and sarcastically adding, “You two already have a secret language… great.”

We continue laughing and eventually I add, “It’s a book thing, and judging by her reaction, she reads the same type of books I do. I like this one, keep her.”

Jake replies to that without taking his eyes off Allie, “I’m trying Roe, I’m trying.”

Allie furrows her brows and tilts her head to the side with a smirk, saying, “You know, the guy from earlier, what was his name? Oh yes, Santiago, he said the same thing.”

I almost fall off my chair when she says that but I try to ignore it and see if they will stop talking about it.

Jake turns his head to face me and smirks while adding, “Yeah Roe, Thiago said the same thing. You two must be connected on a deeper level.” Jake is not done with that sentence when my immediate reaction is to smack him on the arm with the disinfecting pad I was using to clean the site. I even forgot everyone else calls him Thiago because I’ve been calling him Saint since I met him.

I’m ready to start the tattoo but I see Allie grabbing her Kindle so I ask, “Do you mind music, Allie?” When she shakes her head, I start my work playlist and Sweet but Psycho by Ava Max begins to play through the speakers. I get to work. The sharp buzzing sound hums under the music and Jake closes his eyes and lays back on the chair. In no time, I’m lost in the art that I love creating, tuning everything else out including the noise about what Saint might mean to me and, even more, what I might mean to him.

About an hour later the owl is done. It looks perfect. The colors carry shade, contrast, and highlights, making it look almost three-dimensional. I love playing around with techniques and strokes. It’s a creative outlet more than it is a job and I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Jake pays for the tattoo and gives me a side hug; he knows I hate them but he still does it every time. I punch him on the not-tattooed arm and ask him if I will see him at the party tonight. He shrugs, walking back to his gorgeous girl. Allie walks toward me to say goodbye and the sudden urge to hug her kicks in, so I do. It catches all of us by surprise, but especially Jake.

“Come by later, first drink is on me,” I say as I wave goodbye.

“See you later, Roe,” he says, draping an arm over Allie’s shoulder and leaving the shop.

The bar is crowded today, like every Saturday. The line dance lessons are going. People are twirling and crashing into each other. The floor is sticky from spilled drinks after bumping into one another while dancing and laughing. This place brings me so much peace, purely because so many people come here to share their happiness. Some find peace in a beer, some on the dance floor, and some by the pool tables. I say peace because I can’t feel joy again and if happiness isn’t in the cards anymore, peace and contentment will do.

Nick’s party is in the VIP lounge and everyone’s there, including Jake and Allie. The animosity that group of girls is showing her definitely makes me feel like there’s something going on there. I wouldn’t be surprised if Allie is his high school ex that he never got over, considering who’s in that group. But I’m so proud of Jake, who pulled her out of that situation and is walking her back my way.

They grab a couple stools, and Allie smiles at me as she waves.

“Long time no see, lovebirds. What can I get you?” I ask.

“The usual for me,” Jake replies.

“Mm, surprise me,” she says and it’s music to my ears. My heart races every time someone lets me pick their drinks, just like when I’m riding. I rub my hands, smile at her and turn around to get her a flight.

Other than people-watching and owning a fun escape for locals and visitors, using my creativity to figure out people’s favorite drinks is one of my favorite things about owning this bar. Saint said that music pops into his head in situations, like a live soundtrack. For me, it’s things that will please people through art. Mixing drinks or matching a certain type of drink to someone’s personality is art.

I can tell she liked that peach moscato today so I’m gonna go with fruity drinks, but I want to see if there’s a wild side in there too. Tequila with lime juice, guava beer, a negroni, Aperol spritz, a martini, and an Angry Orchard are on her flight and I can’t wait to see what she thinks of these.

Her eyes go wide when I hand her the flight. I smile before telling her, “My brain is too chaotic to pick just one drink. I choose drinks from a customer’s vibes and my first timers get a flight so I can get an idea of what they like. After this, I’ll never get your drink wrong.”

“She’s right,” Jake says, sipping on his Old Fashioned.

“You are insane ,” Allie says, rolling her eyes at both of us.

“Maybe, but it works. Go ahead,” I add, propping my elbows on top of the counter and staring at her while she sips on her drinks.

Her face reacts differently to each drink but the ones that are heavier on the sweet side with fruit added are her favorites. I smile before saying, “I knew you were a fruit girly.” I grab the tray from her and return with a full glass of the guava beer she liked. Jake takes a sip too and they have a whole interaction that seems too intimate for me to witness, so I get busy cleaning and getting drinks for other customers. As I’m working, I see Saint sitting on the same stool he sat at the first time I met him and I smile at him. I fucking smile . I guess I tolerate him fine after all.

Shivers by Ed Sheeran starts playing in the background and this is the one song that I always want to dance to. I see Allie walking toward the exit but I feel in my soul that she likes to dance, so I run from behind the bar and pull her with me to the dance floor.

There’s line dancing every Saturday here so we follow the instructor, or at least I do, because Allie is dancing like she made the choreography for this dance herself. I’m not that coordinated so I just stick to the routine that I’ve learned from joining every time they play it. I run into another one of the regulars and we partner up, but at some point, we all stop and we just watch Allie kill it on the dance floor.

The song ends and we all clap for her. I run to her and hug her before saying, “Girl, that was impressive. I didn’t know you could dance like that.”

“I love dancing, Roe. The more we hang out, you’ll see it’s practically second nature to me.” She looks at Jake and smiles at him, and that is my cue to go.

“Well, come back any time and we can dance some more,” I say, giving her another hug before walking toward the bar.

I look for Saint and I find his intense eyes watching me while some girl sits next to him, talking and twirling her hair while she smiles like she wants to eat Saint for dessert. I suddenly want to kill someone because apparently the whole I ’ m his conversation decides to come to mind now.