CHAPTER 21

"M iss Whitlock, before we begin, I need to see you in my chambers," the judge said after he sat down.

"Your Honor?" she asked, standing back up after only just sitting down.

"Miss Whitlock, my chambers, please," he repeated, stood, and walked out of the courtroom.

Carina had no idea what this was about, but having a meeting with the judge ex parte was strange and could open them up to trouble later if Marin's attorney tried to suggest that something happened during this meeting that negatively impacted Marin's case once it went to trial. She turned to look at Frank Richard, who only stared down at his file folder that he had open on the table, and followed the judge out the back door that the bailiff was still holding open for her.

"Your Honor?" she asked when she walked in, and the door was closed behind her.

"Carina," he said after hanging his robe on the coatrack and turning to face her. "What were you thinking?"

"Judge Martin?"

"Sleeping with the sister of the woman you're prosecuting."

"I'm sorry. What ?" she said in shock.

"I've received a request to have you removed from this case, and an ethics complaint will probably follow." Judge Martin sat down behind his desk. "Sit." He motioned for her to sit down at one of the chairs in front of it.

"You've received… I'm sorry. I don't know what's going on here. I'm not sleeping with anyone."

"I don't care about the personal lives of any lawyer in my court, but this is a big deal, Carina. The complaint I just received said that you and this Kieran Hart, the twin sister of Marin May, who I'm about to have a hearing for, are in a sexual relationship."

"We're not," she replied.

"Are you sure, because I've known you for a long time, and I'm speaking to you now as a professional courtesy, but I can't help you, Carina. If you are, you can recuse yourself, and maybe that will be enough and there won't be an ethics complaint. If you lie in here, though, and it comes back to me, I'll–"

"Judge Martin, I've never had a sexual relationship with anyone who has been part of a case I have tried. I will swear to that in court or before any ethics committee. Kieran and I are friends, yes, but nothing more." She swallowed.

"You're friends with the sister of the woman you're trying for murder?"

"Sort of, yes," she answered honestly. "But, Your Honor, nothing has happened. Kieran's ex-husband represented Marin up until recently, and I've spoken to her several times with that in mind, in part. I've stopped by her apartment, yes. I wanted a statement. She's been to my office. We've run into each other at the jail and a few other places as well. We did have drinks one night, but I drove her home and went home by myself. We–"

"I don't need a play-by-play." He waved his hand at her. "But you seem to be toeing a line, Carina. Did it not occur to you that this might present a conflict of interest that Marin's lawyer could use on appeal should Marin May get convicted? Or even during the trial? Or, hell, right now, for example?"

"Yes, Your Honor," she said, knowing what would happen next. "But nothing in my new friendship with Kieran has interfered with my ability to represent the state in this case."

"Nothing? You're honestly saying that being friends with the woman's twin sister in a difficult cold case hasn't changed your approach?"

"Judge, I'm sitting here because I'm trying to admit evidence into trial that will serve to a pattern of violence from Miss May. If my friendship with Kieran was interfering with how I do my job, I wouldn't be here trying to do that when it's a long shot, to begin with."

Judge Martin leaned back in his chair and said, "Carina, you need to recuse yourself."

"Your Honor!"

"Not because I'm forcing you to; though, I have half a mind to do just that. You need to recuse yourself because you know Jason is going to hear about this, and if an official complaint is filed, you need to be able to show that you acted ethically from the moment you were informed by me that–"

"Your Honor, I have acted ethically every single day of my entire career."

"I'm sure you have, Carina, but this is dangerous, and you know that it could be used against you later." The judge leaned forward again. "I'm not just talking about in this case. If this gets out, it will harm your reputation as an upstanding lawyer and someone who would make a great candidate to replace Jason in the next election."

"I'm not worried about the election right now, Judge."

"Because you're a better lawyer than politician, but you should be. When we go back out there, I need you to recuse yourself. I'll accept the recusal and give the state time to replace you on this case and for this hearing."

Carina sat there without much else to say. She was being pulled off the case. While it was technically a blessing because it cleared the way for her and Kieran to continue their friendship without having to worry about her job, in a very real way, it was also a curse because the judge was right: Carina might have to face the ethics committee. That would go on her record. And if they found against her, she could be suspended, fined, or worse, lose her license. Knowing there was no evidence of anything more than friendship between the two of them helped her believe it would only be a suspension or fine, at most, but that would likely be enough to keep her from running for the vacant DA position when Jason retired.

"Your Honor, I would like to recuse myself from this case and have another ADA assigned," she said when Judge Martin told her she could speak after they returned to the courtroom.

"You would, Miss Whitlock?"

"Yes, Your Honor," she confirmed without offering a reason.

"Mr.Richard, any objection to us delaying this hearing and trial until…" The judge looked at his clerk.

"Hearing next week, and trial date for January fifteenth," the clerk supplied.

"Your Honor, no objection to the hearing," Frank said. "But my client is being held on remand, and the state's need to have a new attorney assigned shouldn't interfere with her right to a speedy trial."

"Don't push it, Mr.Richard," the judge replied, glaring at him. "I'm not granting bail to your client when the crime she's accused of is murder, and she has a history of running and not getting caught for eight years. We'll split the difference. Can the clerk find a trial date for Miss May in September?"

"Yes, Your Honor," the clerk replied, looking like that was impossible.

"Very well. New trial date to be confirmed at the hearing next week. Court is adjourned."

Carina picked her bag up off the table and turned to Frank Richard, understanding now that it was him. It had to be. He'd hoped to use this as a way to get her removed and replaced with an inferior attorney and to get Marin bail.

"Counselor," he said as he walked out before her.

Carina followed and didn't even look at Kieran as she passed her in the gallery.

What she wanted right now was hard liquor, a shot of something to cool her anger, but it was only eleven in the morning, and she still had work to do, so she sat at the bar of the diner across from the courthouse and waited for her coffee to be delivered, wishing it was something stronger instead.

"Carina? What the hell just happened in there?"

Carina turned to see Kieran standing there.

"I might just be facing an ethics inquiry."

"What? Why?"

"Kieran, what did you tell Marin's attorney about us?"

"What? Frank? Nothing. Why?"

"Because he just told the judge that we are sleeping together. And because the judge doesn't want that to harm the proceedings, I was told to recuse myself. Now, there might be a formal complaint against me, and I could lose more than just this case."

"He did what?" Kieran said, sitting down next to her. "He asked about you in the hallway. I just told him that we were kind of friends."

"Kind of friends?" She guffawed. "You didn't happen to mention the part where I told you how I felt, did you?"

"What? No. Carina, I wouldn't do that."

"So, you've told no one about that?"

"I told my friend, Ruthie, who lives over an hour away from here and wouldn't have made a call to some judge to get you removed."

"You told a friend?" Carina softened a bit.

"Yeah, this morning. I… I knew I would be seeing you today, and I didn't know how to act around you, honestly, so I told her and asked for some advice. She's the only one I've told, though. As much as I want my sister to have a shitty prosecutor… For her to get that, you'd have to be removed, and I wouldn't do anything to jeopardize your career for it. I've been trying to talk her into hiring an attorney who could actually match you in court. Though, if Frank pulled this shit, maybe he's better than I thought."

Carina wanted to laugh at that, but she couldn't.

"I'm sorry," Kieran added. "I didn't tell him anything. He said it seemed like we got along well, and I said that we do, but I was careful, Carina. I told him that we get along on everything other than the case, so we never talk about that."

"So, you lied to him?" Carina said, shaking her head.

"I fibbed a bit."

"We talk about the case all the time, Kieran. I've literally advised you and Marin to do things that hurt my case and help hers. Hell, maybe I should have a complaint lodged against me. I deserve it."

"No, you don't. You haven't done anything wrong. In fact, I think the things you've suggested are, at most, things that would save the state later on anyway. If Marin did that interview for Kenna's show, it would get out to the jury pool, right? You said that. If that happens, she might not receive a fair trial either way, and you might have to interview more people who haven't seen it to get your jury or even request a change of location for the trial. It was smart for both sides for Marin to turn Kenna down."

Carina smiled down at the counter and said, "Are you sure you're not an attorney yourself?"

"No, I just like logic. I told you that. And I'll talk to Frank and tell him not to file the complaint."

"And he's just going to listen to you?"

"Maybe not. But I'll figure something out, if I have to. I at least owe you that. I feel responsible, Carina."

Carina looked over and into Kieran's kind, concerned eyes and said, "You're not. I am. I should've stopped this friendship from happening, and I didn't. I definitely shouldn't have gone to your apartment to tell you how I felt. At least, not until this was all over."

"So, in, like, ten years?" Kieran replied, but it wasn't sarcastically, and she appeared genuine about it. "Ten years or something like that without being able to talk to you because there's a case on appeal? I don't want that."

"You don't?"

Kieran shook her head and said, "No."

"My boss is going to find out, but before he does, I need to go to his office and tell him."

"You're going to get in more trouble, aren't you?"

"Well, he's not going to be very happy about me being removed. And I'm the candidate he was going to back in the next election cycle, so that could change. The rest depends on the ethics committee and if there's a formal complaint."

"I'll talk to him," Kieran offered.

"Who?"

"Your boss. The DA. I'll tell him that Frank lied, and there's nothing going on between us."

"But that's not true, Kieran," Carina replied. "There is something going on. It might not be sexual, but you flirted with me earlier."

"So, you did notice?"

"Of course, I noticed. I am keenly aware of you and everything about you these days."

"Keenly aware?"

"I saw you staring at me in the hall, too," Carina said. "I saw that because I was staring at you. You turned away and tried to make it look like you were watching someone else, but you weren't."

"Carina, I–"

"No, I know. And it's a bad idea for us to even be friends right now, so let's just…" She sighed. "Maybe not see each other for a while in any context."

"You don't want to see me?" Kieran checked.

"You know I do," she replied. "Which is the problem."

"So, we're just not going to talk anymore, then?" Kieran asked. "I don't want that, Carina. And you're not on her case anymore. We should be able to talk whenever we want now."

"I need some space on this, Kieran." Carina's coffee arrived, and she gripped the hot mug with both hands, needing something to distract herself with. "This thing with you is new. I like you. You know that. And I wanted to go on an actual date with you, but this is my career. This is decades of work that I could be throwing away because I've been stupid and didn't want to have to give you up to have what I want professionally. Now, things are gray, and lawyers and judges, we don't like gray. We like black and white; guilty and not guilty; evidence proves beyond a reasonable doubt, or it doesn't."

"But reasonable doubt is gray, Carina. Who's to say that your reason and my reason are equal? That one jury convicts on the evidence, but a different jury wouldn't find someone not guilty on the same evidence? That's life. It's gray. It's murky. It's scary, sometimes. I know because it scares me, too. It's real, though, and sometimes, gray is all we have." She looked down at Carina's coffee mug. "You can add the same amount of cream to that coffee that you always do, and it might taste bad because the waitress made the coffee extra strong or extra weak this morning. That's a cup of coffee, and you deal with life and death at work. It's complicated, but what you do is important. You try to keep the bad guys behind bars to protect the good guys you try to keep out, but it doesn't always work out that way."

"I know that," Carina said softly.

"I'm only saying that friendship or more is gray, too, and that whatever two people choose to do or have with each other should be their business. It doesn't belong to Frank Richard, some judge, or an ethics committee. Whatever it is, it belongs to them, and they 've done nothing wrong."

Carina looked at her and said, "Maybe not. But since I don't know how much trouble I'm in, I'm hoping you can give me some space."

Kieran nodded and stood up.

"Okay. I'll go, then."

"You know this isn't what I want, though, right?" Carina asked.

"I know. Can we at least just agree that we're still friends?"

"Of course, we can," Carina replied, smiling at her. "And I just mean a day or two, Kieran. Maybe longer, but I'll let you know. I need to find out how this friendship is going to impact my job."

"Okay," Kieran said. "I'll talk to you then, I guess."