Chapter 10

DONOVAN

The glass-encased boardroom reflected the late afternoon sunlight, casting a warm glow over the sleek, modern furnishings. I sat at the polished table, flipping through a stack of documents with a focused expression.

As I scanned through the financial reports, my gaze occasionally flickered towards Trevor, who was busy arranging the presentation slides on the large screen at the front of the room.

"Trevor, could you check the latest projections for Q3 again?" I broke the silence, my tone professional.

"Of course, Mr. Marshall." He nodded, his fingers flying across the keyboard as he pulled up the requested data. He glanced over at me, our eyes meeting briefly before he turned his attention back to the screen.

Things had been awkward between us all morning, neither of us saying all that much. As we worked side by side, our proximity seemed to amplify the underlying tension between us. My eyes drifted in his direction even more than usual. I couldn't help but admire the way his brow furrowed in concentration, the way his lips pursed slightly as he focused on the task at hand.

"Here are the updated figures." He handed me a printout of the revised projections, our fingers brushing briefly as the papers exchanged hands. A jolt of electricity shot through me at the contact, sending a shiver down my spine.

"Thank you." My voice was barely above a whisper. Our eyes locked, the air thick with words that needed to be spoken. I knew he had to have questions and I had several of my own. In fact, they'd kept me up all night once I'd gone home from the party.

All day yesterday, I'd been consumed with thoughts of him. The vulnerable look on his face as he'd explained his presence at the party and the dejected look when he'd left were seared into my brain. Was he okay? Did he have anyone else he could talk to about his sexuality? I knew his roommate was his best friend, but could he talk to him about this? My thoughts hounded me relentlessly until I'd finally fallen into an exhausted sleep the night before.

Time seemed to stand still as we stared at each other, the world outside the boardroom fading away until there was only the two of us, bound together by an invisible thread.

"We should probably…" Trevor's voice trailed off as he swallowed nervously, his cheeks flushing with a rosy hue.

"Yes, you're right." I cleared my throat, tearing my gaze away from his and forcing myself to focus on the task at hand. "We need to finalize the numbers before the meeting starts."

We busied ourselves with the remaining preparations, but the tension between us continued to simmer just beneath the surface. Eventually, the board members began to file into the room. I could feel Trevor's eyes on me as I stood before them at the head of the table, but I forced myself to focus on the quarterly board meeting.

Two hours later, we found ourselves alone again. "I think the board was impressed with the projections," Trevor said, breaking the silence as he stacked the papers neatly on the table. The meeting had gone splendidly—thanks largely in part to my incredible assistant.

"Thank you. I couldn't have done it without your help," I replied sincerely.

A timid smile spread across his face, like a peace offering of sorts and I felt something in me soften as our eyes met. I could feel my resolve beginning to falter, but somehow, I just didn't have it in me to care.

Finally, I cleared my throat, breaking the silence once more. "Listen, I was thinking…maybe we could…grab dinner tonight? I know you have questions. I can see them in your eyes."

Trevor's eyes widened in surprise, a flicker of hope dancing in their depths. "I do actually. Thank you. Dinner would be nice," he replied, a shy smile playing at the corner of his lips.

"Great! Let's go."

As we gathered our belongings and made our way out of the boardroom, I felt a surge of anticipation—along with a healthy dose of nerves. I'd never spent time with any of my employees outside of work-related events and a part of me still worried that I was about to make some colossal mistake.

But Trevor wasn't like other employees. There was some inexplicable connection between us I'd never experienced before—with anyone and I couldn't wait to spend more time with him and hopefully figure out what it was.

"Holy crap! This is your car?" Trevor sputtered as I led him over to my assigned parking space.

I eyed him curiously as I clicked the key fob, bringing the car to life. "It is. Why?"

His eyes were huge as he walked around it, checking it out from different angles, an appreciative grin on his face. "Dude, this is a Porsche GT3! These things start at around a hundred and fifty grand!"

"Yes, I'm aware," I deadpanned.

Trevor rolled his eyes and laughed, the sound echoing in the nearly empty garage. "Well, yeah, I guess you already know that. But I mean, damn, this is one sexy car." He seemed to catch himself then, straightening as if he'd suddenly remembered I was his boss. "Sorry, Mr. Marshall. I didn't mean?—"

I chuckled. "It's fine. This car is my baby, so I totally get it. I'm a bit obsessed with her myself."

His shoulders relaxed as he arched an eyebrow at me. "Your car is a she?"

I felt my face flame, an uncharacteristic feeling of embarrassment washing over me. "Well, I…"

"It's cool," he said with a grin. "My car was a she too. I named her Trixie, but unfortunately, she's passed on."

"I'm…sorry?" I wasn't sure what the proper etiquette was for someone's car dying.

His deep chuckle sent a wave of warmth through my chest. "It's okay. She had a good, long life. Plus, it happened the same day you hired me, so it was like she waited until she knew I'd be okay, you know?"

I nodded even though I had no idea. Trevor had a way of looking at things that often perplexed me, but for some reason, I found it all very charming. I found him charming. I cleared my throat. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yes!" Trevor nodded his head excitedly. "So, where are we going?" he asked as he buckled his seat belt.

"There's a little Italian place I like, if that sounds all right. The food is all authentic and it's excellent."

"That sounds great." Trevor's voice sounded huskier than usual, and I wondered if he was nervous about being alone with me. For some reason, the thought helped settle my own nerves a bit and by the time we got to the restaurant, I was feeling much more in control of myself.

Trevor didn't say anything when I asked the hostess for a private table, explaining that we didn't want to be disturbed. She led us to a table for two in a small alcove toward the back of the restaurant.

He took his seat, smiling shyly as the hostess handed him a menu. I already knew what I was going to get, so I just pretended to look at mine, while taking the opportunity to stare over the top of it at the beguiling man across from me.

His fingers tapped a nervous beat on top of the linen tablecloth, the soft, flickering flame from the single candle in the center, casting a romantic glow over the tiny space. His blue eyes reflected the light, making them sparkle as they roamed over the menu and his dirty-blond hair flopped over his forehead. Jesus, he's beautiful. His eyes suddenly snapped to mine, and my breath caught in my throat, worried that somehow, he'd heard what I'd been thinking.

I let out a quiet sigh of relief when he simply asked, "What do you like from here?"

I grabbed my glass of water and took a sip to slow my racing heart. "Honestly, it's all good. My favorite is eggplant parmesan, but you can get whatever you want. My treat." I held my hand up when he started to argue. "I insist. This was my idea, after all."

"Um. Thanks. That sounds delicious. I think I'll get that."

The waitress came and took our orders. We each got a glass of wine which she quickly brought to our table before scurrying away. Trevor lifted his and took a large gulp, trying to calm his nerves. His lips were stained red from the wine, and I had trouble pulling my gaze away from them. I wondered if they felt as soft as they looked.

I took a healthy drink of my own wine, hoping to chase away any thoughts of his lips and what they might feel like pressed against my own, his tongue sweeping into my mouth, the faint taste of wine lingering there. I shifted in my seat to relieve the increasing swell inside my pants.

"Why did you ask me to dinner?"

Trevor's question shouldn't have surprised me. After all, I'd been asking myself the same thing. "I know you must have questions after…the other night. And it's not appropriate to talk about private matters at work, so I thought…"

His expression turned disbelieving. "So, you thought that asking me out to dinner to talk about my sexuality would be more appropriate?"

"I…look, maybe this was a mistake."

"No!" Trevor's hand shot out, his fingers wrapping around my wrist as if he thought I was going to simply take off and leave him stranded. A flustered breath whooshed out of him, and he rubbed a hand over his face before looking at me again. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean that the way it sounded. It's just, you're my boss, but you're also the only person who knows how confused I've been and I…I really need someone to talk to."

"You can't talk to your best friend?"

Guilt clouded his gaze. "Doug? Yeah, of course, I could talk to him. He would support me no matter what and besides, he's gay, so there's no way he'd judge me, but…"

"But?"

He swallowed as his eyes met mine. "But I kind of want to figure some of this out on my own before I tell anyone, you know? Just so I can be sure."

"That makes sense."

His face showed his relief. "Thanks. Anyway, I don't really know where to start. How am I supposed to figure out whether I'm gay or bisexual or whatever?"

Our conversation halted as the waitress brought our plates, placing the delicious smelling food in front of each of us. She topped off our wine glasses then left us alone once again.

"There are many ways to figure out what it is you're feeling," I said quietly, taking a sip of wine.

"You mean like watching porn to see what turns me on?"

I slapped my napkin over my mouth as I began to cough around the drink, my eyes watering. It took me a moment to realize Trevor was laughing and I glared at him. "You think that was funny?"

He shrugged, unaffected by my ire. "I just wanted to lighten the mood a little. It was all starting to feel a bit too heavy."

I eyed him warily. "At any rate, no, that wasn't what I was talking about…although, I suppose some might find it a useful tool."

He snickered. "I've watched my fair share. Granted, it was always straight porn since that's what I thought I wanted, but I don't remember ever looking at any of the guys and getting excited. And I've always been able to tell when a guy is attractive, but I don't think I've ever actually been attracted to any of them."

"If you've only ever been attracted to women then what makes you think you might not be straight?" I asked with a frown.

My interest peaked when his face suddenly bloomed a pretty shade of pink. "It was…um…watching you with that other man."

I tilted my head, trying to understand. "You mean seeing it in person rather than on a screen?"

His cheeks deepened to a deep red and he refused to look directly at me. He whispered so quietly, I had to lean in to be sure I heard him correctly. "No. I mean, it was watching you. Specifically."

I let out a sharp gasp before I could stop it, my scalp tingling and my pulse racing with his confession. He peeked at me from under lowered lashes and our gazes held, the moment stretching out between us, neither of us able to turn away.

"I didn't even know it was you at first," he explained. "We left after cleaning up the kitchen but then we realized we'd left our phones with Ms. Rathchild. I went back up to find her and that's when I saw what kind of party it really was."

I listened intently as he went on to describe the things he'd seen, some of which turned him on. "But then I went to the rooftop, and I saw a guy standing there, naked. His partner was still clothed which was hot as hell, and then I heard the voice—your voice—telling him to get on his knees."

"And you liked that." It was a statement more than a question because I could see by the glassy-eyed look on his face and the way he licked his lips that he'd liked it.

"Yes," he whispered hoarsely, his eyes taking on a far-away look as he relived the memory. I remembered it too, but now, with the added component of knowing Trevor had been watching. And damn, if that didn't have my cock leaking inside my underwear.

"I still didn't know it was you because the other man was standing in front of you, but I knew I was more turned on in that moment than I'd ever been in my life. I watched him sink to his knees, saw his head bending down as he took you—your cock—into his mouth."

His words sent a shiver racing down my spine, my skin prickling with awareness. I clenched my jaw, trying to tamp down my arousal, but it was extremely difficult with Trevor talking about some guy taking my cock in his mouth, like he wanted to try it for himself.

We leaned in towards one another as he continued, like two magnets, unable to resist the pull. "Finally, I let my eyes wander up your body. You were mostly dressed still, but from what I could see…I've never thought another man could be desirable. I've always liked women, the softness of their skin, how they smell and feel, but then I was staring at you, and you were all sharp edges and hard muscles, and I?—"

"What? Tell, me," I demanded. He shuddered, the pulse point at the base of his throat thrumming rapidly beneath his tanned skin.

His voice was shaky as he answered. "I wished it was me. I wanted it to be me on my knees, touching you, tasting you, feeling the heat of your skin against my own." He looked at me helplessly, imploring me with his eyes. "And then I looked up at the face of this mysterious man, and I saw who it was. I saw it was you, and…and…"

I slumped back in my seat, running my hands through my hair and blowing out a slow breath as my mind scrambled to come up with something—anything—to say. However, I kept coming up blank, what I wanted to say and what I should say, at odds with each other. Before I could think of anything, he continued.

"I'm sorry. I'm not trying to put you on the spot, and I certainly don't want to make things awkward between us. It's just all really confusing. How could I go my whole life believing something about myself and then in one night, it all changed?"

I gave him a sympathetic look. "I'm not sure I'm the right person to ask. I knew from a pretty early age that I liked boys instead of girls, so I never felt all that confused about my feelings."

"Must be nice," he said with a teasing smirk.

I chuckled then sobered. "It definitely helped. But look, if you want to figure things out, you need to explore a little. Maybe go to a LGBTQ friendly bar, talk to some guys, maybe dance with a few. See how you feel when you're close to them. The important thing is that you're careful. Don't let anyone push you too far, too fast. And if you decide to take things further, make sure it's with someone you trust and who knows what they're doing, otherwise you could get hurt."

He nodded his head solemnly. "Thank you, Mr. Marshall. I appreciate the advice and, you know, that you listened."

"No problem. Oh, and one more piece of advice."

"What's that?"

"Maybe a sex party isn't the best place to learn what it is you want. That's kind of like throwing someone who can't swim into shark infested waters." The candlelight gleamed off his face as he laughed, and I could have sworn, it was the best sound I'd ever heard.