Chapter 21

21

Ash

W e have some drinks and dance, enjoying a…what is this exactly? A boyfriendposal reception?

Fortunately, most of the guys are finished giving us an appropriate amount of hell for the ceremony and are having their own fun, when I lurch at Colin, shamelessly kissing him in front of my fellow frat bros and Brenner and Taylor. I thought it'd be a quick kiss, but the way Colin pulls me in, his tongue sliding between my lips…I can't help myself.

"And now…I'm getting hard," I say between kisses before feeling his crotch. "You too, apparently."

Colin chuckles. "Maybe if you keep touching it like that, it'll go down."

I laugh before releasing him, mainly because as supportive as our friends are, they don't need to see me jerk off my stepbrother.

"And here I thought I was gonna outsmart you," I say, "and pull off this great boyfriendposal."

"Outsmart me? I know you're smart, but that's pushing it."

"At least the guys know me well enough to know this had to end in dancing."

"I figure if they hadn't ended it like this," Colin says, "you'd still be dancing. Have Marty chasing you off the media console."

"Sounds about right."

"Someone say my name?" Marty approaches.

And I love the guy, but I'm gonna be pissed if he so much as makes a snarky comment. I don't want any hell during our special moment.

"Hey…can I talk to you guys for a second?" Marty asks, and the softness in his voice catches me off guard.

"Of course," Colin replies.

Marty moves closer, pressing his lips together. He looks so serious. Although, this is Marty, so no surprise there.

"I just…" He hesitates. "I know I can be a lot sometimes, and I don't always see things the way everyone else does, but I try. When you called me about you and Ash, I thought you were playing a prank, and if you needed me to be there for you and I wasn't, I'm sorry."

That's not what I expected.

"It's okay," Colin says. "Even though Ash and I were really hooking up, we were joking when I called you, so you didn't miss a moment to be there for me."

Marty takes a breath—maybe the first decent one since he approached.

"You're good, bro," Colin confirms.

"Very good," I add.

Marty smirks. "Good. Just wanted to be sure." He starts to head off, but stops, turning back to us. "Also, I think someone needs to clean the litter box. I can smell it."

Well, can't expect him to be a totally different person all of a sudden.

Colin and I sneak a look to each other as he slips away.

We enjoy another song before Troy steps in front of the media console. He lowers the music and raises the wireless karaoke mic. "Thank you, everyone, for making it today, but it's time for our guys to head off now."

"To the honeymoon suite!" Lance calls out.

I turn to Colin. "Oh, God no."

"That's right!" Troy says. "Time to get upstairs to your suite, which is the room without gerbils because they don't need to be traumatized when you consummate your boyfriendship."

The guys make some oohs to really play up the drama. "And by the way, Col," Troy adds, "apparently I still need to return that spare key to you from last semester when I swung by to grab your phone while you were at work."

He winks, and Colin mutters, "Fucker."

Colin glows with a grin as the guys cheer us on. And I guess we just gotta give in.

"Well," I say, "if we're going to the honeymoon suite, then I should probably carry you."

Colin winces. " You carry me ?"

"I'm obviously the one with superior strength, so it makes more sense." I go for it, hooking my arms around him like Colin does whenever he scoops me up. I make what I feel is a decent effort, but then just grab his legs, straining until he goes on his tippy toes. The room erupts with laughter, and when I set Colin down, his face is about as red as mine as he tears up from laughing so hard.

"Act like we meant to do that," I tease, and he rolls his eyes before sweeping me right off my damn feet.

The guys are hollering with excitement again, Lance barking like a dog as Colin and I ascend the steps.

We thank the guys, and when we get to the second floor, I say, "You can put me down now."

"Uh-uh. I gotta take you all the way to our love nest."

"I think we've had enough cringe for the day."

"I feel like we are just one giant cringe at this point."

As Colin approaches his room, I nab his keys from his pocket, and once we manage to coordinate getting the door open, we discover what the guys have done to his room.

There are more decorations—hearts and roses and petals across the bed.

"Frat guys do know how to decorate, that's for sure," Colin says as he carries me into the room, tossing me down on the bed so I bounce. He hops on the edge, and my body bounces again with the mattress before he rolls over, getting on top of me, his lips crushing mine.

I don't know if it's because of how sweet it was that he thought to have a boyfriendposal for me too, or because of how awesome our friends are, or because we're finally away from the guys and I get him all to myself, but I'm frisky as fuck. Nibbling and biting. We roll around, and when I'm on top of him, I pull up his shirt, kissing down his chest.

"As much…as I love…the guys," I say between kisses, "I love this more."

I take his nipple between my teeth, then lick, but then I miss his fucking mouth, so I return for another kiss, when I notice his head angled down as he looks at me, not like he's enjoying messing around, but like something's on his mind.

"What is it?" I press as I crawl over him, gazing down at his pretty mug.

"What is it…" He drags that out, suggesting what's supposed to follow .

"What is it, boyfriend ?"

Colin's smile returns, and he reaches up, resting his hand against my face. Instinctively, I lean into his hold. "Remember when our parents first got together?" he asks, and I nod.

"Mom was still really struggling with the divorce. We both were. Not about Dad and Lauren, or even because Mom was in love with him and wanted to stay married, but that the fantasy we all had about our family would never be real. I remember when Dad started bringing Lauren around, I saw how he would light up again, and I felt this pain. And then I felt guilty for that. I love my dad. I wanted him to be happy."

"Of course you did, Col, but that was a lot. He knew that."

"I know. It's just not how a developing brain processes that shit, right?"

"Too well," I say, reflecting on my parents' split.

"But I decided that I'd make the best of it, and then one day, Lauren brought you over."

"I remember that day," I say, rubbing my face against his palm.

Colin's lip twists up as he runs his hand up my cheek, until his thumb is over my temple. He strokes so gently. "Do you remember you wouldn't even look me in the eyes? And they left us together in the living room for a bit—I'm sure so we got to know each other. And I was trying to make conversation with you, just being friendly, and you had your head in some game on your iPad—"

" Pokémon Gold ," I mutter.

He snickers. "Yeah. And I thought, this is gonna be a nightmare if they stay together and I have to be around this guy all the time. I figured I'd turn on the TV to have something to do, and do you remember what you did?"

"Asked if you liked Pokémon."

Colin's eyes widen ever so slightly, and I notice the way the room light sparkles in his irises.

"You showed me the different ones and which were your favorite," he says. "Even let me play a bit. And then you couldn't stop talking about Pokémon, and you were so excited to talk to someone about it, and just kept on and on, and I remember thinking you were the coolest kid in the world."

I laugh, not because it was particularly funny, but because it reminds me of what was going on in our lives at the time. "It was really hard back then. I don't feel like Mom or Dad were able to really teach me how to interact with people."

"No shit."

"Right? I was awkward. Didn't know how to make friends. And by the time we met, I had guys being mean to me on the bus. At school. There was a guy who wore glasses who called me four-eyes. I just didn't understand. And when Mom and Dad were having more arguments at home, it felt like the kids got even meaner at school, like they could feel I was having a hard time. When we came over that day, I was so annoyed with Mom. I didn't want to meet anyone. I just wanted to stay home and hide. And when you were trying to talk to me, I thought, he's gonna realize who you are and be mean like those others."

Colin must feel how hard it is thinking about those painful times because he rubs my temple again.

"You looked so cool with your backward cap and your Nike sneakers," I say. "I didn't understand why you were trying to talk to me. I don't even know why, but I just looked over and thought, he seems nice. Maybe just try. Worst he can do is be an asshole. And then when we talked, you were actually interested in the things I was saying, and you were listening, and it felt so good. I'd never felt that way before. And I was so pissed when Mom said we had to go because we'd barely covered the second generation."

Colin grins. "Fortunately, you had plenty of time after that to educate me."

"What a relief. You would have been such a loser if it hadn't been for me."

Colin studies my expression, his jaw tensing. "I wish I'd known you were going through all that bullying shit a lot sooner. I would have protected you. "

"I know that now," I assure him.

"Ash, you'll never know how much you helped me back then. Before the divorce, I was easygoing and chill. Laughed and smiled all the time. Didn't really need a reason. Then there was this heaviness to everything. I didn't really start laughing and smiling again until we met. Hanging with you made me feel like at least something good came out of that whole mess."

"I feel the same." I relax my weight against him, hooking my arms under his to pull him closer. "I remember how you and Steve gave these great hugs—and you did it as easily as saying hi, and it felt so good. Mom and Dad didn't do that, but fuck, those hugs made all the shit we were dealing with a little less shitty."

He wraps his arms around me, tugging me close. "I made you a hugger."

"You did." And I'm proud of that. "I can't imagine what my life would have been like if I hadn't met you that day."

"I'm glad we don't have to imagine that."

I lean close to him, taking another kiss, something deeper, more meaningful than the playful ones we shared when we first came into his room.

I couldn't have known that day how much that kid in the backward cap would come to mean to me. Couldn't have known how many years we would laugh and play, oblivious to what was in store for us. Couldn't have known that one day he'd be watching me live stream myself jerking off. Or that we'd be fucking around in a bathhouse together. Or asking to be each other's boyfriends.

Couldn't have known that I wouldn't be able to imagine my life without this amazing guy in it.

Gazing down at him, seeing that intense expression on his face, that familiar look in his blue eyes, I know exactly what I'm looking at right now. This beautiful man who has been here for me during some of the hardest times in my life. Who makes me laugh. This man who makes me feel so safe when he's around.

Who has the biggest heart of anyone I've ever known.

Colin.

My Colin.

"Ash, I—"

"I love you too." I didn't mean to interrupt him, but I couldn't help myself.

His forehead wrinkles. "You have to let me say it to say too ."

I cringe. "Oh fuck. I'm sorry. I fucking made it weird and awkward. And here everything was just right and perfect. Can we have a redo?"

Colin laughs. "You can't redo that."

"But I knew you were about to say that, so you might as well have said it. "

He shakes his head. "That doesn't count. But that actually wasn't what I was gonna say anyway." He says it in this dramatic way that lets me know he's full of it.

"Oh really? What were you about to say, then?"

"I was gonna ask if you wanted to watch a movie tonight."

I glare at him.

"Hey, you're the one who conned me into that date. I can't help that you're so obsessed with me, you have to like, proclaim your love for me."

I burst into a laugh. "Well, admittedly, I am kind of obsessed."

I wait for him to break the act, but he locks gazes with me.

He finally looks away. "I guess I should get some homework done or something." And at my glare, he smiles. "Of course I love you." He offers a gentle kiss. "My little perv."

"I love you too, Big Man," I say, surprisingly proud of myself for getting it right this time.

We seal it with another kiss as I relax against him, enjoying how it feels to be tight against my boyfriend.

Who loves me.

Whom I'm in love with.

My cock stiffens, and I slide my hand down him, cupping his firm ass, enjoying how it feels in my grip.

I don't know what it is about what we just shared, or maybe it's just being on top of him right now, but I find my mind drifting to new places.

"God, you have a real nice ass," I say, giving it a squeeze.

"All those fucking squats and drills." Colin flexes it for me, and my cock pulses. "You like that?" he asks, doing it again before squinting. "Is my little perv thinking about fucking me right now?"

"Bingo."

"Mmm. Suddenly realized you got this tight virgin hole under you."

He's being playful, but now, fuck… I thrust slightly, not really controlling it, just some innate impulse.

He leans close to my face, until his lips are less than an inch from mine, whispering, "Does this mean I get to be cruel tonight?"

His tongue traces my bottom lip, his tease assuring me that this is about to get real fun.