RISK
27
Shara Glacius glided through the Solstice Sanctum entrance with her usual power and grace, flanked by the two other generals. She held her head high despite her unease about meeting with the Royal Assembly again.
But the Zephyr girl had intrigued her when she'd come to the Fulgara estate. Aria's confidence and preparedness—despite the girl's obvious nerves—was enough to make Shara listen. Because of that, she had agreed to bring the Legion Council to the Sanctum in the hopes of figuring out how to save their continent.
They had arrived later in the day than they'd initially planned, the sun already setting over the horizon by the time she was settled in her room. Every time she came to the Sanctum, she was reminded that it should have been her husband in the meetings instead of her. It should have been him negotiating and strategizing. Him leading the continent toward peace, despite her warnings…
She swallowed hard. It brought back his memory, how much she ached for him. It's not that she didn't like leading, but everyone had loved Molden. He was so inviting, so warm. She was… his opposite. In nearly every way.
It made her question herself often. She wasn't bred by nobility like he was, wasn't born to make these kinds of life-or-death decisions. In fact, the entire flight to the Sanctum she'd been quarreling internally about whether it was actually worth working with the fae, or if they should just risk Mallium's threat on their own.
The minute they'd heard Selene's prophecy, she'd thought of Molden. What would he have done? What would he have wanted in this situation? As much as it killed her inside to sit across from the fae cordially, as if they hadn't slaughtered the man who made her soul sing… She knew Molden's answer.
Peace. Always peace.
He would have done whatever it took to bring the continent together, even if he'd survived the attack at the border. And that surety is what guided her through every decision ahead of the equinox. It wasn't her making these choices, but instead Molden's will acting through her. Because if she had her way, the fae would have answered for their crimes long ago.
The thought sobered her. Shara finished unpacking her bag and headed straight for Acasia's room. Moping certainly wouldn't help her focus on the problems ahead of them. But a distraction might clear her head.
She knocked lightly on Acasia's door, careful not to draw attention, hoping for just that.
***
As Luka rounded the corner on his way to greet his mother, he watched Shara disappear through a door. He'd asked a seer which room was his mother's, and he was sure the one she just went through was not hers .
His brow furrowed. She must have been conversing with one of the other generals about something, but he really wanted to talk to her about what they had learned about the fae possibly being related to shifters. Not that it really mattered at this point, but he figured she might find it amusing, if anything. Maybe he would mention the strange solstice sacrifice occurrence, see if she had any ideas about what might have happened.
He approached the door but stopped himself from knocking when he heard Acasia's voice, low and whispered, from the other side. "This morning wasn't enough for you?"
"As if I could ever get enough of you," Shara replied, a deep chuckle escaping her throat.
Luka's eyes went wide. Oh gods, he cursed . He backed away slowly, not wanting to hear any more than he already had, and walked quickly back down the hall toward his own room. He had only planned to stop by on his way to meet the rest of his squad for dinner, but his appetite dissipated.
Luka sank into his chair in disbelief. Gods above, his mind raced. Were his mother and Acasia actually… involved? Romantically?
He shook the thought from his head. As far as he knew, she had never sought another relationship after his father's death. But… he supposed she deserved to be happy, right? People slept together all the time without any romantic feelings. Maybe that's what this was.
Shara being with anyone other than his father was unimaginable. She had been so destroyed by losing him. If he was being honest, it hurt him to think about her moving on. On the other hand, it had been half a century since his death. It took far less time than that for someone to become lonely.
Wanting to cleanse himself of what he'd just overheard, Luka drew himself a cold bath, cursing the Sanctum's rule against magic. He couldn't stand the thought of having to ask for heated water, nor did he want to take the chance of running into his mother leaving what was, apparently, Acasia's room.
He held his breath as he plunged himself into the brisk water, bumps immediately raising along his skin from the chill. It wasn't pleasant, but he'd been through worse, he reminded himself. And he was definitely not thinking of his mother with another person, nope. Luka came up for air and submerged himself again, wracking his brain for anything else to focus on.
His mind drifted to Aria. Their interaction that morning. And Evelyn. How he wasn't proud of the way he felt about the two of them in each other's company. Evelyn was right about him enjoying a challenge. He had yet to figure out Aria, and her mixed signals grew frustrating.
But the bias he held against Aria and her family battled in his mind with the ways she continued to pleasantly surprise him. She was strong-willed, fearless. Stubborn. But she was also sensitive. Caring. Deeply loyal to her people and yet different from those who came before her. Aria held a lot of conflict within her, and it called to his innate need for fixing problems.
Plus, he could tell she was interested in him but apparently didn't want to give into the attraction for fear of distraction. Luka respected her for that. Admired her, even. Perhaps he should take the hint and follow suit. If they were successful in figuring out the equinox threat, they'd have plenty of time to indulge after the fact.
But gods, he wanted her. And he wanted her now , not in two months. Those bright, emerald eyes. Her freckles. Those pink, pouty lips. The face she'd made when he'd offered to kneel had nearly been enough to send him to his knees on the spot.
By the time he decided he'd had enough of his pity party, the moon was shining through his window. He pulled himself out of the water, unable to stand the cold for a moment longer. Running a towel over his body, the hair on his stomach and chest stood from the chill of the evening air against his damp skin. He wrapped the towel around his waist just as a rap came at his door.
A muffled voice— Aria's voice—came from the other side.
"Luka?"
***
Luka opened the door just a crack to find Aria holding a tray of food. She gave him her best look of innocence. His forehead creased. "What is this?"
His dark hair was brushed back out of his face, the wet waves gathered at the base of his neck. His tan chest and broad shoulders still shone with water, but that was all she could see of him. She was grateful for that, the way her imagination was already betraying her.
"You didn't show up at dinner, so I wanted to check on you. Figured you might be hungry?" She started to push the tray at him.
He opened the door wider to reveal himself. Aria's mouth went embarrassingly slack at the sight of the low-slung towel around his hips. She hadn't noticed before how his swirled tattoos wrapped around his hips and disappeared under the fabric. "Sorry, I didn't mean to—I'll just leave this here."
"No, no, come in," he ushered her in the door, visibly reveling in the way her face blushed, the way her eyes traveled the length of his torso and stopped at the shape of him under his towel. "I was just in the bath."
"I gathered that," she laughed nervously, holding the tray in front of her. "I didn't mean to interrupt, I can just leave this— "
"I'm fine," he cut her off. "Just got tired and needed some alone time. I'm feeling better now, though. Everything okay with you?" He peered around her into the hall. "I'm surprised Evelyn wasn't the one to volunteer."
Aria bit her lip, suddenly having regrets about her guise. "Well, she did, actually. I just had something I wanted to talk to you about and figured I would check on you at the same time."
He raised his eyebrows and gestured for her to sit on the other side of him. But she absolutely did not want to be that close to him in his… current state. Sure, she'd seen him shirtless when they'd sparred together. But she'd hated him then. Well, maybe hated was a strong word. Disliked, at the very least.
And yet, fire ran through her veins the same now as it had then.
As strong as he was, his abs were not defined. He was broad—muscular, yes—but his stomach wasn't the washboard she had expected the first time she saw him that day on the training mat. She liked how his body looked lived-in, like his strength came from physical labor rather than pure training. Not fussed over, like so many of the other guards that ran around the Institute shirtless some days. Despite what her first impression of him had been, she now realized Luka carried himself with confidence, not arrogance.
Aria placed the tray next to him and sat at his desk instead of where he'd gestured on the bed, hoping to distance herself from him as much as possible. She didn't need the distraction while having this conversation. "I can get dressed, if you're uncomfortable," he said with a smirk, watching her glance at him nervously.
"No!" she blurted embarrassingly quickly. "No, no," she recovered, "I'm fine, this shouldn't take long. Actually," she started to stand, "You know what? I'll just come back another time, if you don't want company—"
"Aria," he stopped her, "sit down and talk to me."
She sat as quickly as she'd stood, careful to avoid his eyes. She'd been dreading this since she'd talked to her mother that morning, when she realized this conversation with Luka was inevitable.
He looked at her, his eyes dimmed with concern. "You can tell me, whatever it is."
***
It took Aria a solid half hour to disseminate everything she'd learned to Luka. She told him about what really happened to his father, how her parents had made bad decisions—to put it mildly—and now regretted them but weren't sure how to broach the subject with Shara or the rest of the Council. She didn't hold back, desperate to give him every bit of context available.
And he had listened to her in full, eerily silent, before the questions and objections came, which she volleyed as honestly as she could. To be fair, she hadn't really expected to explain all of this to him while he sat in a wet towel, but he had insisted on her staying, and so she recounted everything while trying her best to keep her focus on his face. The somber subject had made it easy.
"I'm so sorry to spring this on you," she said, wiping away a rogue tear that she'd fought off valiantly until now. "I don't expect your sympathy or even your forgiveness. Neither do my parents. But if these meetings are going to be productive—if we're really going to work together—I want your mother to know the truth. You both deserve that. "
Luka remained quiet, contemplative. "It never sat right with me, you know?" he said as he started walking about the small room, some of that quiet frustration now seeking release. "None of us really knew what happened that day. My father insisted he be the only one from the Council to attend, with just two Legion squads for protection. From what my mother has told me, he wanted to seem as earnest as possible. But because of that, they were unprepared. And the only ones who made it home were the ones who ran," he scoffed, angry tears finally welling in his eyes. "I've always been mad at him for putting too much trust in the fae. But now I don't know what I feel."
His hands were clasped on the back of his head as he faced away from Aria, those gray, whirling tattoos on full display across the taut muscles of his back and shoulders. She wanted so badly to comfort him, but how was she supposed to do that when she was the one who caused these emotions in the first place?
"You don't have to know how to feel right now," she said. "I don't know how I feel either. I'm mad at my parents, mad at the centuries of fae who came before us who had some unearned superiority complex. I'm sad for your family, for all of the shifters," she paused. "I can't pretend to know how you're feeling right now, but I do know what it's like to feel so many different things at once. It fucking sucks."
Luka crossed his arms in front of his chest as he turned and faced Aria, his muscles clenching along his jaw. "Why are you telling me all of this? Why not keep it to yourself when we've already agreed to work with you?"
"Because," she shifted in her seat. "I don't know. Being with you and your squad has opened my eyes to a lot of things, including how wrong people are about shifters. I've come to genuinely care for you all. And I would want the same from you. The truth," she said. "I'm telling you right now because I have no idea how to approach your mother. Figured you might have some advice."
Luka looked away, his mind wandering to places she wished she could see. A moment passed before he spoke. "I'll talk to her," he said matter-of-factly.
Aria shook her head, her brows pinched together. "You shouldn't have to be the one to tell her. We can do that. My mother already agreed. You don't have to bear that burden, Luka. You've dealt with enough already."
"As much as I appreciate that—and I do," he added, "I don't know how she'll react. And I want her to be in a safe space when she hears it, not in front of a group. It could go poorly. For everyone. And I don't want anyone to get hurt if she happens to lash out."
Aria's throat bobbed as she looked at him. "Are you sure?"
He gave her a curt nod. "Positive."
"Gods, wouldn't it be nice if the elders could just talk amongst themselves?" She let out a breath. "I feel like that would solve decades of problems."
Luka snorted a laugh. "That would be nice, for once."
She tracked the rising moonlight across his face. "Why are you taking this so well? I expected more anger, something more reminiscent of your usual attitude," she gave him a pitiful attempt at a teasing grin.
"Because I believe you," he said seriously. "I did my mourning a long time ago. Of course it's devastating to hear that he didn't have to die, but he knew the risks of seeking peace. We all sign up to give our lives when we join the Academy, and he died doing what he loved, trying to protect Denover. And if we do this right, maybe he'll get his wish after all," he finally returned her weak smile. "Just a lot later than he'd hoped. "
"You think we could actually bring our realms together? If we get through this?"
He rubbed his stubbled cheek. "I think we need to figure out what we're facing first. And see how my mother reacts, of course. But… I don't know. Maybe."
The corner of her mouth ticked up. " Maybe is a lot better than no . I'll take that."
Luka studied her closely. "Thank you. For telling me."
"Please don't thank me," she laughed incredulously. "That's the last thing you should be doing right now."
"I'll admit, when I saw it was you at my door, I'd been hoping for something a little more positive," he chuckled, giving her that signature sly grin. "Maybe a little less talking, even."
Ah , there was the Luka she'd come to know so well. She rolled her eyes, hiding the way her heartbeat accelerated. "Wow, that didn't take long."
"I've learned I'm much happier if I don't dwell on things."
"And yet, here you are, dwelling on me."
She'd meant for it to be a joke. But it'd come out more like a challenge. Luka held her eyes with a fiery intensity. "Some things are worth dwelling on."
She blushed and looked down at her hands in her lap. She didn't deserve his advances after unloading all of that on him. After continuing to brush him off time after time. "Sorry for interrupting you. I—I should let you get back to your evening," she stood and turned for the door but was stopped by a firm grip on her wrist.
"Stay." Luka pulled her back toward him and grabbed her waist with his other hand. "Please."
Aria's breath quickened. Her face was inches from his chest now. She was close enough to smell the soap that lingered on him, only faintly covering the smoky petrichor that seeped from his pores. She looked up at him under her lashes and was met with his darkened gaze, those deep brown eyes taking in every part of her.
"Why?" she asked quietly.
"Why not?" His voice was gruff, deep. Wanting.
She shook her head. "I mean why, after all this? All I've told you? Why do you still want to be around me?"
"You are not your parents, Princess." Keeping his hold on her waist, he released her wrist to move his hand to her chin. The same way he had that night in the mountains. He slid his calloused fingers along her jawline until his thumb stopped over the spot on her temple, now faded to a pink line against her sun-kissed skin. His eyes touched every part of her face, like he was committing it to memory. "You have proven yourself to be so much more than whatever they believe you to be. More than I gave you credit for, that's for damn sure. There is so much wrong in this world. There is so much out of our control." Aria watched his lips moving, his words ringing in her ears. "But this? This is something we can control. And doesn't a little control sound nice?" The corners of his lips tilted upward in a devilish grin.
Luka's words settled heavily in her chest, healing a little part of the ache that had lived there the past month. Aria flashed to Taren's words of encouragement. She did deserve to have fun. And gods, she wanted it. Wanted him. Wanted a little control.
At her silence, he said, "Stop fighting it, Aria. Tell me you don't feel the same. That you don't want me. Tell me, and I'll let you go. I'll stop dwelling and give up for good."
The tension between them was tangible, electric. Her body hummed as she closed her eyes. If she stayed, there was no going back. She could feel that truth, deep in her soul.
"Tell me," he said .
"I can't…" she breathed as he leaned into her, touching his nose to hers.
"Can't what?" he whispered.
This was her last chance to back away, to focus on their mission. But their breath mingled dangerously. She could almost feel the flames of his offer dancing along her lips.
She took one last breath. "I can't tell you that."