Chapter 27

twenty-seven

Regan – 5:37PM

Beth dropped an entire pot of coffee today. Literally SHATTERED the glass. It's great for me, because she's officially taken over as the most accident-prone person at the shop

I saw that guy on the subway, the one that tried to give me a ferret that one time. No ferrets, anymore, though. Wonder what happened to them all

OH and the biggest update is that I found this vibrator online that we tried out last night and when I tell you that they really mean MUTUAL PLEASURE – I'll send you the link

Sutton, the One and Only – 5:38PM

When I said that I didn't need you to "make it up to me" I meant it. Really, I don't need the update on what time you peed this morning. I promise.

Regan – 5:38PM

Are you sure? Because I am HAPPY to tell you. EVERYTHING

I don't want you to worry that I replaced you with Charlotte this summer

She chuckled, utterly amused with herself for that one. Now that Sutton was in the know about everything since their conversation nearly two weeks ago, Regan had made it a point to text and call Sutton much more regularly. Now that she didn't feel like she had to keep any secrets or had any uncertainty about her relationship with Emma –

Because they were in a relationship! –

It was great! She got to gush about everything to Sutton. To ask her advice. To tell her about how it felt so… perfect, like things just made sense for her, now.

Being able to talk to Sutton and really talk to her, the way she was used to, had soothed over the only remaining stress she'd had weighing on her.

And she got to do that because Emma was her girlfriend, by Emma's own admission!

Sutton, the One and Only – 5:39PM

Believe me, I don't feel replaced

Regan snickered again, thinking about the relieved FINALLY message she'd received from Charlotte the morning after she'd confessed everything to Sutton.

Regan – 5:39PM

I'm not relieving Charlotte of her friend duties, though. I hope she still knows that

Sutton, the One and Only – 5:39PM

You know, I actually think she likes it. Don't tell her I said that

Regan – 5:40PM

Keeping secrets from your girlfriend AND telling me things she wouldn't want to tell me, herself?! Sutton, now that we are both relationship women, I think we both know that's not good…

Sutton, the One and Only – 5:40PM

Oh my god

On that note, I'm going to sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow morning 3

Regan – 5:40PM

I'll tell you what I had for dinner and what time I go to sleep, in the meantime…. :)

Sutton, the One and Only – 5:40PM

I'm blessed, truly. GOODNIGHT

Regan – 5:41PM

Goodnighttttttttt

It was the perfect time for Sutton to bow out and go to sleep, really, because Regan had just turned down her hallway. She'd been at work for a long Saturday shift – she'd had to open this morning – and she was ready to discard her phone and bury herself in Emma for the night.

Emotionally, and – later – literally.

She looked up as she fished out her keys, and then froze in place, mid-step.

Squeezing her eyes closed, she shook her head – was she… hallucinating? She, admittedly, hadn't slept for more than five hours per night for the last week and a half, but she didn't think that was such a small amount that she'd start hallucinating from it.

In her defense, it was very, very difficult to force herself to go to sleep when she had Emma in her bed!

Regan had always loved sex. The closeness and connection, the indulgent pleasure of it. She loved expressing her affection for people with physical touch, loved leaning into people's energies, and sex was the ultimate form of that.

But her past experiences paled in comparison to this.

She had a whole new world to explore with Emma. She had a body that Regan really did feel very strongly could have been the perfect model for a classic sculptor, and Regan hadn't tired in the least in wanting to touch and taste her, everywhere. Sometimes to Emma's chagrin. But, in fairness, Emma seemed to feel the same way for her.

Even when she tried to act like she had more self-control or like she wasn't just as desperate as Regan was for their moments together, Regan could see the flush on her cheeks and the way her eyes lingered.

Pfft. Emma tried to play herself off all gruff and cool sometimes, still, but Regan knew better, now.

And she loved that.

Yes, okay, she was probably hallucinating, because she'd been too caught up in Emma lately – too caught up in the excitement, in something so good – that her mind wanted to remind her that there were some downsides to life, still. Before Regan got so filled with bright, fun times and simply floated away.

Blinking her eyes open, she found that – nope. The sight in front of her remained. Isaac and Dierdre Gallagher remained standing in front of her, their pinched expressions the same as Regan could always conjure up in her head.

"Mom? Dad? What are you doing here?" She asked, confused and a little scared, honestly. "Did someone die?"

Oh, god. Who could have died that was so important her parents needed to come and find her to tell her in person?! Audrey ?

Her mother pursed her lips, shooting a dark look toward Regan's apartment. Following her gaze, she realized that the door was open, and Emma was standing there.

Her arms crossed over her chest, with a stubbornly serious glare that mirrored Regan's parents' expressions. Huh. Wow.

Regan remembered that look! It was crazy, really, to think that she'd so often been on the receiving end of a similar expression, because she hadn't seen that look on Emma's face in months.

"We'd intended to see your home." Her mother sniffed, haughtily, and gestured at Emma. "But when we arrived this woman – your… roommate? – refused to let us in."

"They arrived less than two minutes ago," Emma interjected, her tone exacting and sharp. "It's not like it's been an hour."

Baffled, Regan took a few steps closer. Only to stop as soon as she was within a few feet of her parents, feeling that awful, heavy sensation in her chest – like she was the world's biggest failure and disappointment – that only her parents knew how to bring out in her with just a look.

And, boy oh boy, were they giving her the look. A look she was, also, more than familiar with.

"But what are you doing here?" She repeated, because that comment hadn't really explained anything. "You never come here when you're in the city."

She knew her parents traveled to New York at least once or twice a year, coming to see shows, meet up with friends, have weekend getaways; they'd done it since she was a kid. She imagined they'd likely been in Manhattan a lot more frequently in the last year, too, since helping to plan Audrey's wedding.

But they never came to see her . If anything, they'd extend an invitation to join them and Audrey for dinner, but even that was a rare occurrence. The only time Regan was guaranteed to see her parents in a calendar year was over the holidays. So, this? Unprecedented and disconcerting.

Her father exhaled, impatiently. "We just had an early dinner with your sister. We hadn't even planned on coming into the city this weekend, but she insisted that she had to talk to us in person." He arched her a look. "Do you have anything you want to take accountability for?"

Confusion growing by the second – and that feeling inside of her, like she was the world's worst person, multiplied with it. God, how did they do that so well? – Regan slowly shook her head. "Um… no?"

She hadn't even spoken to Audrey in nearly two weeks, since the wine bar. So why in the world was she on the receiving end of their accusing stares?!

"Typical," her father muttered.

Ugh, Regan's stomach twisted, and she felt her shoulders slump at the tone. Still, she did her best to respond and push past the feeling, as it was the only coping mechanism she'd ever figured out in this kind of situation. Push through as fast as possible, so it could all be over. "I don't know what you're even talking about."

"Audrey told us that she's no longer planning to marry Armando," her mother informed her, in that classic icy tone she had.

Regan's mouth fell open, shock rushing through her. "For real?"

"Yes, for real ," her mom echoed, disdainfully.

"Wow! That's wild." Regan should text her! Damn, she hadn't seen that coming at all.

Before she could go too far down that mental rabbit hole, though, she looked back at her parents, quizzically.

"Um… so, what does this have to do with me?" She slowly asked, pointing at herself. "Shouldn't you be taking this up with, like, Armando?"

After all, he seemed to be the cause of Audrey's unhappiness.

Her father – in his long-sleeved button-up, tie, and well-ironed slacks, despite the fact that it was the end of August, and the humid heat was still among them – pursed his lips. "Audrey – very atypically for her – was unable to give us a succinct explanation as to why she wants to try to call off the wedding. What she did tell us, in a ramble that was much more befitting of you than her, is that you are the only person she's talked to about this, and that you encouraged this behavior."

Regan shook her head quickly. "No! Well. I mean – yeah? But, only because she told me that she was unhappy, so–"

"So, you did tell her to call it off," her mother interrupted, eyes narrowing to a glare. "Why am I not surprised? Despite the fact that all of our friends and associates are invited to the wedding, despite the fact that we've already paid tens of thousands in nonrefundable deposits."

Regan crossed her arms over herself, tightly, as she set her jaw in defense. "Audrey's an adult! She can make her own choices – she should make her own choices, about who to marry."

"Out of all of the things you've done to embarrass this family, you have never tried to drag your sister down to your level." Her father always had this way of speaking – so quietly, but Regan swore she'd be able to hear his voice cut through the loudest crowd – with his tone being so scornful…

Yeah, even now, it made Regan feel about two feet small.

"You can't come here and talk to her like that," Emma cut in, her tone hard as steel.

Regan turned to stare at Emma so quickly, she felt like she had whiplash from the movement. Frankly, in the last five minutes, she'd forgotten that Emma had been standing there.

Her parents – despite all of the work Regan had done around managing her feelings regarding them – still had the ability to make her feel like she was a ten-year-old getting punished. Like her world was just that small.

"This is none of your business," her mother authoritatively stated to Emma. "And it's very rude to interfere in family matters that are none of your concern."

"It's also very rude to show up to your daughter's apartment and treat her like dirt when she hasn't done anything wrong," Emma shot back, staring down at Regan's mom.

Oh. Even when Regan had been on the receiving end of Emma's ire, she'd never been looked at like that. The way Emma stared at Regan's parents was very distinctly the same way she'd stare at a bug she'd just squashed. Absolutely disgusted.

Before either of her parents could say anything, Emma rolled on, "And I don't care if you don't think it's my business; you're saying it right in front of my face. I happen to know that Regan is sweet, and thoughtful, and a hell of a lot kinder than either of you seem to be."

Regan felt her heart skip a beat, and her breath caught in her throat, as she stared at Emma. Did Emma actually have a halo, or was it just the way she seemed to appear to Regan?

Emma turned to look at her, and the stone-cold look in her eyes immediately softened, as she tilted her head. "Come on. You've been at work all day, you should be able to come home and relax."

Even though she didn't look away from Regan as she spoke, she hard edge in her voice was so pointedly directed at Regan's parents.

It was as though that had been precisely what Regan needed. For some reason, she'd needed that to kick her into gear, to make her push forward and brush by her parents so she could enter her apartment.

Emma pushed the door open wider for her but didn't step back herself – much to Regan's delight. She brushed against Emma as she stepped in, hesitating for a moment as she turned to look up at her parents.

"Maybe if you actually listened to Audrey, you'd have heard why she's not getting married to Armando, and the fact that it has nothing to do with me."

She felt like she was finally able to take a deep breath for the first time since this whole… thing… started, especially as she was breathing in Emma .

Gripping the doorknob in her hand, she arched them a look, and she felt so emboldened, so ready to look them in the eye as she said, "Also, Emma isn't just my roommate; she's also my girlfriend."

Immediately, she saw her parents' eyes widen, and that was all she needed.

She shut the door on them, satisfaction slotting through her with a rush, as she stared at the closed door for several seconds. She'd actually just done that!

Even when she'd gone against what her parents wanted and expected from her, she'd always just… ignored them. Waited out their commentary, and rolled through it.

"I can't believe you just did that," she breathed, exhilaration still rushing through her as she turned to look at Emma, her eyes wide.

Emma's jaw was still set, tight and angry, as she looked down at Regan. "I can't believe they have the audacity to show up here, like that!" She gestured to the door, scoffing in obvious disgust. "They came here to seek you out, so they could talk to you like you're a misbehaving child?"

Those electric blue eyes closed, as Emma lightly shook her head and took in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry, if you felt like I overstepped, thou–"

Before Emma could finish that statement, Regan surged up and tossed her arms around Emma. She wrapped her into a hug, slotting her body against Emma's in a way she was so familiar with and still, it gave her a rush. It was like the ultimate comfort, like there was no better feeling. Especially when she felt Emma's arms slide around her waist and hold her right back.

"No one's ever done that for me, before," she whispered, and – huh. Her throat felt thick with emotion as she spoke.

Closing her eyes, she didn't loosen her hold on Emma, not at all. Not giving a single inch, as she leaned her head against Emma's, gripping the shirt Emma wore in tight fists.

The backs of her eyes burned with tears, but they weren't sad, and her heart was pounding in her chest, and she breathed in deeply through her nose, wanting to feel surrounded by Emma.

"Thank you," she murmured, her voice thick. "Thanks for not letting them in. And for saying what you said."

Emma squeezed her waist, as she spoke softly back, "I mean, this is why it is very important to know who is persona non grata to your roommates."

Breathing out a chuckle, Regan nuzzled in closer to Emma, brushing the tip of her nose against the soft skin of her neck. "You're right."

Keeping her eyes closed, she whispered, "I want to tell you something, and I don't want it to freak you out, and I really don't want it to change anything we have going on between us. I really, really mean it – I don't want anything to be different, but I need you to know, okay?"

She loved that Emma hadn't released her, or even attempted to loosen this hold. She loved that Emma seemed just as content in this moment as she was.

She could feel Emma slowly nod. "Okay?"

Regan paused – for this one, heart-pounding moment – as nerves and excitement and comfort tangled together inside of her. Could Emma feel how hard her heart was beating?

"I'm pretty sure I'm in love with you." There. The words were out in the open, rather than just circling around in Regan's mind before she fell asleep with Emma at night, and… it felt right.

In fact, as soon as she said it, everything inside of her settled . Even as she felt Emma's surprised, sharp inhale.

Still, Regan didn't pull back from their embrace and didn't let Emma pull away, either. Even when Emma's arms went slightly slack around her.

"Now, I'm saying pretty sure , because I've never been in love before, so I don't have anything concrete to compare this feeling to," she explained, pausing to press a brief kiss to Emma's shoulder through the fabric of her shirt. "But the way I feel about you is exactly what I'd imagined being in love with someone would be like. Only better."

"Regan…" Emma's murmur of her name was halting, and throaty, and so quiet, Regan was fairly certain she only heard her because Emma's mouth was right next to her ear.

She shook her head, intently. "I know it's a little soon. I mean… kind of. I've known you for years, and we've shared an apartment for months, and I know everything about you, including your obsessive calendaring habits and the way you like to roll the toothpaste from the bottom of the tube–"

"It's the right way," Emma countered, sounding dazed, but – of course – she wasn't going to not make the comment.

And, yeah, Regan loved that. Her lips pulled into a smile, as she smoothed her hands down Emma's back, reveling in the touch.

"Anyway, I know it's technically kind of soon, as in we've only been dating officially for a few weeks. And I know you take more time to process your feelings than I do. So, I don't need you to say it back to me." She narrowed her eyes in thought, and, "Honestly, I'd rather you didn't. Not that I think you would ever say something of this magnitude unless you really felt it, but… that's not why I'm telling you."

"It's not," Emma faintly echoed, her breath warm against Regan's ear.

"No. I'm telling you because I want you to know how I feel. I like to be able to tell you everything." With that, Regan took in another deep breath of Emma's scent, pressed one more kiss to the side of her throat, and pulled back enough to look up at Emma's face.

Which, to her credit, didn't look like Emma was going to run for the hills, so that was great! Regan would take it.

Feeling a wide smile break over her face, Regan rocked up to her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to Emma's lips. Something soft but full. A greeting and gratitude and an I love you! in a brief moment.

She pulled back, gently sliding her hands down Emma's arms. She wondered if Emma knew she was still gripping Regan's waist, or if it was just reflex, as she tried to sort through her thoughts after Regan's confession.

Studying Emma's face, the sharp planes and gentle curves of it – Regan felt an easy calm take a hold of her, reaffirming everything. "Yeah. I love you."

Emma's face flushed as soon as Regan said the words, and she was absolutely delighted by the way Emma seemed shocked and pleased and hesitant and so unsure of how to respond.

That was her Emma.

Regan reached up to stroke her fingertips over Emma's jaw. "Don't freak out, please."

"I'm not," Emma answered immediately, frowning down at Regan. "I'm just – thinking."

"Okay," Regan accepted, tilting her head up at her. "I mean, you had to know this would be how this moment would go."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know." Regan arched an incredulous look up at her. "I kissed you, first. I told you I was attracted to you, first. I told you I had feelings for you, first. I got you to agree to go on a date." She shrugged, easily. "Me telling you that I love you first is the next step."

Emma's eyebrows knit tightly together indignantly and she shook her head. "What about the fact that I initiated us having sex first? Doesn't that count for something?"

Regan found her self-righteousness ridiculously cute.

"Only because I was respecting your boundaries and not initiating sex until you were ready! If you hadn't wanted to take things slower, I would have dragged you into my bed after our first date." Regan dared Emma to disagree; she knew she had the upper hand, here.

Emma's lips pulled into a pouting frown. "You can't prove that."

"The comeback queen," Regan teased.

"I thought you were in love with me," Emma groused. "Doesn't that mean you should be nicer to me?"

"I'm sorry. How about I go down on you until you can't remember that I ever teased you?" She offered, biting her lip as she looked up at Emma through her eyelashes.

And – fuck , she'd been saying it as a tease, but as soon as she voiced it, the very idea of that offer zipped through Regan like a wildfire.

Making Emma come in her mouth had been Regan's favorite discovery and was quickly becoming her favorite pastime. She had a very busy and active mouth, and what better way to put it to use?

It was also the most effective way she believed she would ever have to rendering Emma into a an agreeable puddle, and Regan was absolutely in love with that.

Emma's mouth fell open with a trembling breath, her pupils dilating, and Regan was ready to drop to her knees right here and now. She wanted to, viscerally, especially on the heels of her love confession. On the heels of Emma sticking up to Regan's parents on her behalf.

Yes, after the last twenty minutes, Regan was fairly certain she wasn't going to be sated tonight until she'd rendered Emma a shaking, whimpering mess.

Slowly arching her eyebrow, she started to dip down to her knees…

Only to find herself stopped, as Emma reached out, her hands landing on Regan's shoulders. "Wait. Stop. I…" She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, clearly gathering her wits. "I do think that sounds incredibly appealing."

Her voice was low as she slid one of her hands up and rubbed her thumb over Regan's bottom lip, the touch sending tingles down Regan's spine.

Emma shook her head. " But , today has been – a lot. You worked all day, you accepted an offer to make that cake for Kimberly's neighbor's party, your parents, and then you – um, you telling me…" Emma rolled her lips, cheeks turning an attractive shade of pink. "Let's take a breather. You and me, on the non-defiled couch, and just – let me have a few minutes with you and decompress."

Regan's heart stuttered in her chest, as she nodded up at Emma. "I'd like that."

She reached out, interlacing their fingers together, and feeling the whirlwind of emotions she'd been through in a very short period of time today, calm.

Emma operated at a three, and she operated at a seven, and the two of them together gravitated toward a five, and Regan thought that was good for her.

"To be clear, though, I'm going to get to celebrate my being in love with you by making you come in my mouth later?" She asked, dead seriously, as they walked toward the couch.

"It's literally going to be my pleasure."