Chapter Eight

Camdyn pulled back. To continue kissing her would only bring further discomfort. He did have a need for her, but it would not be sated tonight.

As much as Camdyn wanted Sheena, he would wait until they were man and wife, and even then, he would wait until she was ready. There was no pleasure being intimate with a woman who did not want it as much as he. That did not mean that he wouldn't attempt to seduce her as soon as they wed. He may even begin the seduction before they reached the anvil, but if he sensed any reluctance, he would not push her. They had an entire life together.

Wind howled outside and branches scratched at the window while there was crackling in the fireplace, making the room warm and cozy. Cozier with Sheena here.

She rose on her knees and leaned toward him, taking his face between her hands and leaned in to kiss him.

Camdyn groaned, then pulled away. "No more kissing tonight."

Sheena frowned. "I thought that is what you wanted."

"I do, but more kissing will lead to…further intimacy." She was so innocent that Camdyn struggled to find the right words.

"You do not want intimacy?"

"You are not ready. You said so yourself."

"Nay, that is not what I said." She smiled and kissed him again. "I said that so much has happened so quickly that it was confusing. But I am certain that I love you. I am certain that I want to marry you. I am also certain that I desire you." She frowned for a moment. "I am not certain what I desire, I only know that you have made me feel things that I do not understand, but find pleasure in them, and I know that there is more to enjoy, but…"

"What, Sheena? You can tell me anything."

Tears formed again. "I doona want to hesitate. I am afraid."

The last thing he wished to do was frighten her. "Because you do not know what to expect?"

"I doona, but I trust you in that. It is just…I trust you Camdyn, and I love ye…but I did once before."

She did not need to say any more. She had spent a year and a half hating him because she thought he had only been using her for information without knowing the full truth. He would have doubts about their current situation. She'd only arrived on his doorstep yesterday. The truth may be known between them now, but pain and heartache would still linger, and trust cannot be replaced so quickly.

Camdyn caressed her cheek. There was nothing that he wanted more right now than Sheena, but it was too soon for her.

"No more kissing tonight and no more caresses."

She pulled back as if she were struck. "Isna that what you want?"

"Oh, Sheena, more than anything. It is you with the doubts."

She opened her mouth to speak but he placed a finger against her lips. "We have a lifetime. I will be true to my word and carry you off to Gretna Green as soon as it is safe to travel, but I think your hesitation stems from that promise being made once before."

She looked down at her hands and he knew that it was the truth.

"I will earn your trust again. Somehow, I will, and it will start with me not asking for more than I should, not being your husband. But I promise we will wed unless you change your mind."

Sheena glanced up at him. "I willna Camdyn. I willna."

It was that assurance that she needed. Not the promise but the vows, and he could not blame her, especially after all that had happened. Further, a miss had far more to lose in this situation than a man. Once innocence was lost, it could not be reclaimed and the reason he was going to do right by her.

Christmas arrived a day later with neither one of them alone, and Sheena couldn't remember being happier or more content in her life. Camdyn showed her the estate, and his home, and took every opportunity to kiss her beneath mistletoe.

"Excuse me, Miss Sheena," a maid interrupted as they were finishing supper. "I was instructed by your brother to give this to you Christmas night if you and Lord Walsingham had…um…overcome your differences and were getting along."

A blush spread across the poor maid's cheeks. The whole household of servants knew they were getting along quite well and that she now slept in Camdyn's chamber. She knew they assumed that much more was happening besides sleeping, but Camdyn had stayed true to his promise that there would be no intimacy until they wed. All he did was hold her and it was the most wonderful sleep she had ever gotten. Further, she was now quite certain that she'd never be able to sleep again if he wasn't curled about her, keeping her close or her head upon his chest.

She really should be scandalized and embarrassed by what she assumed the servants were thinking, but they also knew that she and Camdyn were to marry as soon as it was safe to travel.

"Thank ye." Sheena took the document and unfolded the parchment.

Sheena,

I know you were angry with me for taking the route that I did, but it was on purpose as was getting the wagon stuck. As you were pulling the horses, I was making certain the wheels dug deeper and deeper into the mud.

Sheena gasped and looked over to Camdyn. "He did this on purpose."

Camdyn rose and came to stand behind her. Sheena knew that he read the correspondence over her shoulder, but she did not care. What Ewan had done to her, he had also done to him.

It was my intention to bring you face to face with Lord Walsingham. I know that he called on Uncle Aiden and I heard his explanation, apologies, how he wanted to court you, and that he loved you.

I also know that you love him but are too stubborn to see through your pain. Nor would you give him a chance to explain unless you were forced to listen.

He is a good man, Sheena. Given him a chance and open your heart again if you have not already.

However, if Lord Walsingham breaks your heart again, I will issue a challenge as I wanted to in London. Uncle Aiden and Alistair were in agreement, but Rose talked us out of it as she did not want further scandal brought to her family nor did she want all of London to know what had happened to you. It was her protection of you why we did not insist that Walsingham meet us on the green the following morning.

Your loving brother, Ewan.

Sheena set the letter aside. "Uncle Aiden is going to kill him."

"I am not so certain." Camdyn chuckled. "But I do believe we should wed soon, love, for I am expecting your uncle to call as soon as he is able."