Chapter Twenty-One

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

Kieran

I woke up warm. Warm and confused.

It seemed like all unconscious me wanted was to keep Ellie from leaving, ever. My mouth kissed her downy shoulder, my arm wrapped around her soft stomach, my leg went over and under hers. Not to mention her butt was tucked against my… wow. I had joked about not being sixteen, but my body was a teenager when it came to her. The rest of last night replayed in stereo: Ellie sucking kisses into my skin, banding her legs high on my back and moaning as I drove as deep inside her as I could, trailing her fingers through my hair when I stretched out on top of her afterward.

Now she sighed and snuggled deeper into my pillow. Would waking her up for one more round be wrong?

Yeah, it would. She needed to sleep, and I didn't think waking her up because I was feeling needy counted as keeping it light.

Light, shit. That word was the tiniest little cut. Barely a thing 95 percent of the time, but hit it with a grain of salt or a drop of lemon juice, and it stung like a whole nest of yellow jackets.

I untangled myself from her. I needed the bathroom anyway.

My reflection in the mirror looked like I'd walked through a sex hurricane. My hair stood straight up from her hands, and my lips were dark and swollen. One love bite waved hello from the top of my shoulder, another from my pec. I pressed my thumb against where she'd marked me.

Except I wasn't hers.

I shook my head at my dopey eyes, took my meds, and scooped water from the tap into my mouth to wash them down. I wasn't going to get excited. This was just fuckbuddy business as usual.

Except I'd never brought anyone back here or slept overnight with anyone, even though I'd told her that friends with benefits stayed over all the time. But who made the rules, anyway? I could totally let a friend sleep in my bed, wake up desperate to bury myself inside her, then feed her donuts afterward.

Wait.

Donuts.

Crap.

I tiptoed as fast as I could out of the bathroom and into my tiny galley kitchen and tried to keep the plastic bag from rustling as I emptied out what I'd bought at the drugstore last night. At least I'd been smart enough to put the condoms in the bathroom first thing.

The tea lights I could save for a power outage or something. And I'd drink the sparkling cider at some point.

But the little bunch of deep-red rosebuds I shoved in the trash under the sink.

"Kieran?" Ellie murmured from the other side of the kitchen wall.

I casually walked around the corner and there she was, stretching her arms over her head and yawning. She looked like she should be lying around in a meadow in the sunshine, with little fat angels bringing her bunches of wildflowers, not in my dank apartment with its mold problem. At least I'd stopped buying stuff I didn't need so that it wasn't messy, too.

"I slept," she sighed, and her smile was like a magnet, putting me on my knees beside her. "I actually slept."

"I must have worn you out. Even if it took a while." I ran my fingers through her mess of curls. "Nice bedhead."

She grinned. "Speak for yourself, Woody."

"Woody?"

"As in Woodpecker. You've got some excellent faux-hawk action there." The smartass grin softened as she touched my cheek. "Last night really happened?"

I couldn't help myself. I took her hand and kissed her palm. "If that was a dream, I'm about to wake up with the worst morning wood ever. Like, someone could plug me in and use me as a jackhammer."

She giggled, and it was better than any shot of vodka. "Well, we should make sure you're all charged up."

I'd heard enough dumbass jokes about the luck of the Irish during Fire on High, but maybe they were a little bit true. "You're magical, you know that?" I said, my voice going quiet with wonder.

My goddess grinned back at me like she knew that already. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes, yes, yes, come here."

Hungry kisses turned to hungry touches, and after what felt like five seconds, I was raring to go. But I'd been desperate to taste her last night before she'd taken over and made me lose my mind.

Now I started to slide down and kiss a trail across her endless soft skin, but when I got below her belly button I felt a gentle tug on my hair.

"Wait," she whispered.

I looked up. "How do you like it?" I could follow directions. I wanted to.

But she shook her head and urged me up to her, wrapped her legs around my hips. "Just fuck me. Please, Kieran."

"Please" was definitely the magic word, and once I had a condom on and pushed inside her, I couldn't hold back a groan of relief. I craved more of her gasps when I rocked into her, more of her soft little moans, more of the pink blush that spread across her chest and cheeks. More of the feeling of her tightening and tightening around me like she'd never let me go.

"Come on, love. I love it when you come," I moaned. Fuck, that wasn't light.

But if she'd heard what I'd said, she didn't give any sign. She just reached between us, and I shifted to give her room. The only thing that felt better than her squeezing around me was the rush of joy when she closed her eyes and called my name.

"It's so good," she said all dreamy as I fell deeper and deeper into her.

I wanted her words. Long, short, whatever. "Tell me."

She pulled me down, whispered in my ear shy and sweet, told me how amazing I felt inside her, how strong and sexy I was. The dirty words echoed in my brain and went straight south, and when I came, I felt dizzy from the pleasure and her clean scent all tangled up together.

Thump. Thumpthumpthump .

Was my heart trying to beat out of my chest?

No, that was a stick hitting a wooden floor. The one above my ceiling.

I buried my face in her neck. "Oh, yeah. I have neighbors."

"Maybe we were a little loud," she whispered, and I shivered at how her soft lips felt on my ear.

"He isn't used to hearing sex noises," I said without thinking.

She shook her head, confused. "What do you mean?"

Great, now I was sending mixed signals. Get a grip, Kieran . I kissed the tip of her nose and pulled out to deal with the condom. "Never brought anyone back here," I said as lightly as I could.

Would she let my slip go? Of course not, this was sharp-eyed Ellie. "Really? I'm the first?"

"Yes, you're just that special." A joke, even though it made my insides twist with the truth.

But she just chuckled, and I held back a sigh of relief. "Finally, you noticed," she said.

I'd been noticing for months. Noticing, and wanting, and craving, and now I was on a parallel track to where I wanted to be. So close to her, never close enough. At least I could touch and kiss her now.

When we surfaced from making out, I asked, "Do we have to go anywhere? I could stay here and"—not make love—"fuck you for days."

"I appreciate that, but we'd starve eventually. Not to mention we need to work."

The book. It had brought her to me, but now that she was in my bed, all I wanted to test were the different ways I could make her sigh and moan.

"What's for breakfast?" she asked, practical as ever.

I went and got the drugstore bag, and underhand tossed the Hostess package to her. "Powdered sugar donuts."

She caught them with a huge smile. "It's been years since I've had these."

I held back the fist pump of success. "Why?"

"Don't know. I used to buy them when I was waiting for Hank to finish math club. I'd eat half the pack and give him the rest." She twisted the plastic, then said, "Wait, are you OK with me making a mess? I can eat at the table like a civilized person."

I squirmed a little at the thought of licking powdered sugar from her fingers and from other places. "It's all good. I can change the sheets tonight."

If I'd told six-months-ago me that, pretty soon, my happy place would be eating donuts with Ellie Wasserman while we were both naked, I'd have thought I was having a nightmare. But here she was, dusted with powdered sugar, breasts jiggling when she laughed, and all I could do was smile. It was like this mattress was our private island, and the outside world was an ocean away.

Halfway through her second donut, her face changed from blissed-out to sober. "We need to talk about something."

"Then you should put your clothes on," I half-joked.

But she grabbed her bra and wrapped the band around her waist. "We need to be discreet."

I mentally waved a sad goodbye to her breasts. "How discreet?"

She let out a long breath once she had the straps over her shoulders. "We can't tell anyone we're sleeping together."

So much for feeling like I was in paradise. "Wait a second. Not even Jay? You can't honestly tell me you'll keep this from Nicole."

When she emerged from pulling her dress over her head, she said, "That's fair. But it wouldn't be great if Tad found out. Or Tobias. It's not a good look for me."

"Why is it a problem for you?"

She blushed. "Sleeping with you wouldn't be considered professional."

I tensed. "Why wouldn't I get into trouble for sleeping with you? Isn't that sexist?"

"Nope, for once, it's not sexist. If I were the celebrity and you were the ghost, you'd be the worried one. There's no book without you, Kieran. But there could be one without me."

I reached out and hugged her tight. "Don't say that. Your name will be on the cover with mine. This book is ours ."

She was stiff for a second, but then she settled into me. She said, "I know. But other people might disagree."

Suddenly all her talk about lightness made sense. It didn't hurt less, but I could see Ellie's logic. "If we weren't working together," I tried.

"But we are," she interrupted.

"But if we weren't . Would you be cool with people knowing we were doing this?"

She grabbed my chin gently. "I'm not ashamed of you," she said. "I would never, ever be that. But right now we can only be like this when we're alone." She brushed her mouth over mine, then pulled away a little and said firmly, "Let's only do this here."

Seriously? My studio was no one's idea of a love nest. "But your place is so much nicer than mine."

"Let's keep it simple. One place for work, one place for fun."

"I guess you're right." I didn't like it, but it was tidy. Ellie was nothing if she wasn't tidy. I leaned in and tasted her sweet lower lip, and as she went soft again, all my thoughts of wanting and longing blew away like powdered sugar.

Her phone buzzed.

"What's up?" I asked when she pushed it away.

"It's probably Diane. She can wait."

But after another round of buzzing, she pulled away from my mouth, groaning. "I'm sorry, if I don't pick up when she's like this, she'll just keep trying… huh?"

"What's wrong?

She stared at the screen. "Hank never calls me." She picked up. "Hi, Stretch." She froze. "What? You did what ? Is he still in the backyard? No? Fuck ." A silent second. "Yes, I said fuck. I'll be there in thirty minutes. Don't go anywhere." As she hung up, she was already scrambling for her underwear.

"What's wrong?"

"Floyd escaped. And Hank doesn't know where he went."