Chapter 9

Chapter

Nine

Clint was an absolute wreck by Sunday morning. He’d barely held it together in the cafeteria when he’d first fused his lips with Lily’s before lunch yesterday. Sparks and joy and every good thing had filled his mind, his body, and his heart when they’d kissed. He’d floated up to heaven.

Thankfully, he’d kept one toe on earth and used superhuman strength to break away and face Dr. Hampshire. The wuss had been terrified of him, that was obvious, but who knew what the doc was capable of. It was also obvious he thought he was the king of the hospital and could manipulate everyone for his gain.

Clint would make certain the doctor didn’t hurt Grandma Lillywhite. He’d have his brother Houston recommend a top cardiologist and have the other doctor on video chat during Grandma’s appointment.

When he’d kissed Lily the second time at the door of labor and delivery, he’d been even more blown away. Did Lily feel the same? He’d tried to play it cool and say something about no man daring to flirt with her now, but his heart had been flinging itself against his rib cage like a jack hammer and all he’d wanted to do was carry her out of the hospital, speed back to his house, and kiss her for hours on end.

After work, she’d been quiet. He hoped she was just worn out from a long, busy shift and all the stress of Dr. Hampshire and whoever left that poster. He was ninety percent convinced it wasn’t Hampshire, though it would be easier if it was the doc. Who else was lingering out there, watching Lily, wanting her? Hopefully the fingerprints would give them a lead or the guy would try something else and reveal his hand.

Clint drew her out about her work as they drove home. She lit up as she talked about the miracle of birth and newborn babies. To hear her describe a wrinkled, puckered newborn, he’d think they were the most gorgeous humans on earth. His heart raced as he imagined the two of them having a precious baby of their own.

And that was sprinting to the finish line. He still had to find out if she loved him, and somehow be loyal to his brother and give Walker his chance with Lily like he’d said he would. Why had he agreed to that? His own loyalty to his word and his love for his brother demanded he not go back on what he’d said he’d do. Sheesh, he was in a jam.

When they got home, she excused herself to shower and didn’t come out of her room again. He ate some leftovers for dinner. By himself.

In the morning, he ate breakfast alone, hoping she’d come down and join him. At nine-fifty, he still hadn’t seen her. Now he was dressed for the ten o’clock service in his favorite dark gray suit and pale blue tie and pacing the loft area, waiting for her to appear. He didn’t like being late, especially to church, but for Lily he’d walk in halfway through the service and not mind one bit.

Her door opened. All the oxygen raced from his body. He teetered and felt lightheaded. Spreading his stance helped a bit. She was dressed in a fitted pale blue dress that highlighted her curves. Her golden hair fell in curls down her back. He was no expert on makeup or girlie stuff like that, but her eyelashes looked impossibly long and framed her dark eyes perfectly. Her lips were a soft pink, sparkling and begging him to capture them.

“Lily.” His voice was breathless like a wimpy man in love. He was—a wimp for her and in love. How could he be brave enough to tell her? He couldn’t yet. Maybe never. “You’re a vision.”

“Thank you.” Her gaze traveled over him, and he found his chest poking out. “You look very handsome.”

He was bursting to tell her how he felt, to storm up to her, pin her against the wall, and kiss her until she had no more makeup on and all her curls were mussed.

“We’d better go,” she said. “We’ll be late.”

She slipped by him, trailing that scent of lilies. He took a deep inhale and followed her like a well-trained dog on a leash.

They walked down the stairs, through the house, and out to his truck. He helped her load up, responding to her breathless ‘thanks’ with an even more breathless and husky, ‘my pleasure, sweetheart’. They arrived at church a minute late. He’d had a hard time focusing and had driven ten miles under the speed limit the half mile to the chapel, darting glances at her every twenty seconds or so.

As he rushed around to help Lily out of the car, he realized he hadn’t even put his dress hat on. He should feel naked. He couldn’t think of the last time he’d been outside without a hat, with the exception of trail runs. With the anticipation of Lily walking by his side, he couldn’t care less about a hat.

He swung open her door and reveled in the sweet smile she directed his way. She must’ve been tired last night, and that was why they hadn’t kissed the night away. They had all of Sunday afternoon to kiss and snuggle. Could he tell her how deeply he’d fallen for her? Would she reciprocate? The risk was high, but the reward would be high as well.

Could he push all the worries aside? The fear of pain worse than what he’d experienced losing Sheryl if Lily rejected him pulsed through him. The concern over Walker’s feelings and happiness and Clint’s loyalty to his word and as a brother nagged him incessantly. Was he taking advantage of this protection detail and Lily’s vulnerability in the situation?

Lily placed her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his around her waist. He slowly lowered her to the ground. His gaze dropped to her lush, sparkly lips. He would’ve happily kissed her, not cared who was watching out the church windows, and missed the service.

“We’d better get inside,” she said, pulling her hands away.

Sharp disappointment bit at his insides. What had he done wrong? She was growing more distant, not closer like he wanted. It was wrong of him, but he placed his hand on the small of her back. She glanced sharply up at him but said nothing. He escorted her through the parking lot and up the church walk. The front doors and windows were open, letting in the beautiful late-August morning air to the chapel and sharing the chorus of voices singing ‘How Great Thou Art’ with everyone outside.

He walked through the open double doors with Lily. Maybe it was wrong but he slid his hand from her back to her waist, fastening her to his side. She gazed up at him. Her gaze wasn’t the loving look he needed. It was a question—what were his intentions?

How could he reveal his intentions without making a muddle of everything? Was he ready to give his heart away again? To hurt his brother? He couldn’t break his word. He’d promised to give Walker a chance, but he hadn’t agreed not to tell Lily how he felt about her. He was swimming in murky water.

He escorted her to the nearest open pew, not missing the many curious glances, some people getting bumped by their neighbor and then craning their necks to see. The song finished and hushed whispers filled the air.

Lily scooted in and he sat next to her on the hard bench, naturally sliding his arm around her shoulder and drawing her into his side.

Pastor Heath stood to pray and the whispers settled. As the prayer finished, Clint glanced around the church again. Lily’s family was all there, with some extra people from their ranch as always. Rose gave him a sly wink and Mama Ivy grinned.

A few rows back from the Lillywhites, his mom and Walker sat with their ranch hand Brandon’s young family. His entire family and the ranch hands couldn’t all make it to church. Dad and Easton must’ve felt they couldn’t leave with two protection details at the ranch. Clint would have to check in. He’d been so consumed with Lily he’d missed talking to his family and seeing if they needed anything. They’d call him in an emergency, but he hated to put the burden of the ranch’s most important duties on them.

Lily shifted against him. He glanced down to see her twisting the diamond band on her left finger with her right hand. He loved seeing that ring there. He’d never found out if it fit Sheryl, but it clearly fit Lily perfectly. He prayed she wanted it on her finger and didn’t feel it was tainted since he’d bought it for someone else.

He pivoted toward her, reached across with his left hand, and slid his hand around hers. She blinked up at him, her dark eyes alluring. He lifted her hand, turned it over, and pressed a lingering kiss to her palm. Her pulse was going like mad in her throat and her lips softened. Bringing their joined hands to his chest, he eased toward her.

A low, “Whoa,” came from behind them. He straightened, shocked at his own behavior. He’d almost kissed Lily in church. He lowered their clasped hands to his leg and cuddled her close with his right arm. She sighed and leaned into him.

He tried to focus on the pastor but felt eyes boring into his head. Looking around, his gaze caught on Walker. His brother’s blue eyes were wounded and angry. It was so out of character for Walker that Clint took the look like a punch to the gut.

Swallowing hard, he faced the pastor, released his hold on Lily’s left hand, and sat straighter. His right arm was still around her, but he rested his elbow on the bench behind her and simply wrapped his arm around her right shoulder. She straightened as well, going stiff beside him.

She slid the diamond band off her left hand and onto her right. What was she doing? He gave her a questioning look. She leaned in and whispered, “In Coleville, we’re only dating.”

Oh. He nodded, but he didn’t like it. Man, he was a mess. He tried to focus on the sermon. He needed inspiration right now.

“…esteem every man as himself,” Pastor Heath was saying. “Can we each say that we truly want our brother, sister, or neighbor’s happiness more than our own?”

Clint blinked. Those words were as difficult to take as that look from Walker. He selfishly wanted his own happiness with Lily. Their kisses yesterday had led him to believe that he’d found the love of his life in the woman he’d always yearned for. Was that wrong? Was he putting his needs and happiness before Walker’s? Maybe when Walker took his shot, Lily would kiss his little brother as passionately and beautifully and inspiringly as she’d kissed him. She’d probably kissed Miles like that many times. His neck tightened and got hot just thinking about her in either of his brothers’ arms. He needed a good sparring match.

The service finished. He and Lily stood, and he took her hand again. He could justify that. They were supposed to be engaged, after all.

Everyone and their dog wanted to talk to them. Apparently the rumor mill had been grinding nonstop in Coleville.

His mama finally made her way to them, Lily’s family not far behind. He hugged her. “Ah my handsome boy.” She arched up and said in his ear, “I can’t tell you how I love seeing you and Lily together. Are you being pure staying all alone in that beautiful house of yours?”

“Or course, Mama.” He kissed her cheek and drew back. His mama approved. What about the rest of his family? Walker definitely didn’t. “Where’s Walker?”

His mama’s eyes darkened. “Waiting for me at the truck. He hasn’t said much, but I can tell something’s eating at him.”

Clint looked from his mama to Lily, who was hugging her family. Luckily the crowd had dissipated so nobody was listening in. He and his mama both knew what was eating at Walker.

“I want to do the right thing,” he said for only his mama to hear.

She stared up at him. “Then you’d better pray something fierce, my boy.”

He wanted her to tell him what the right thing was, but that wasn’t her way. He had to turn it to God, pray, and follow the inspiration he felt. He had been praying, but his desire and love for Lily overshadowed any insight from heaven. How could he riddle out if he and Lily were meant to be and he needed to put her first like his parents did with each other, or if he was being selfish and should put his brother’s happiness above his own?

“I need to talk to Walker,” he said.

She nodded and pushed at his arm. “Go.”

“Love you, Mama.” He stepped up to Lily and touched her arm, leaning down to whisper in her ear, “I need to speak with Walker. Can you stay close to your dad and Bennett?”

She only nodded to him.

He straightened and lifted a hand to her family. “I’ll be right back.”

“Take your time,” Rose said. “Lily’s agreed to come over for Sunday dinner. We’ll be able to grill you all afternoon.”

“I’ll look forward to that.” Clint smiled at her teasing, though he wanted Lily all to himself today. He turned and hurried down the aisle and out of the church, squinting at the bright sun. Why anybody would want to be outside without a hat was baffling to him. Families and couples lingered on the lawn, enjoying the beautiful weather and socializing. He greeted people but didn’t slow down to chat.

Reaching the parking lot, he saw Walker a few rows over, leaning against his silver F350. It was a common tease with the brothers which truck was the best. Clint had always been a Chevy man. Easton liked his Ram and Rhett was on Easton’s team. Houston couldn’t afford a truck with all his investment dividends going to medical school.

As he approached, Walker straightened away from the truck. He didn’t glare at him; that wouldn’t be Walker.

“I don’t want this to be between us,” Clint said as he approached.

“You hugging the lady I love? Going back on your word?” Walker shook his head. “How is that not going to come between us?”

Clint’s gut churned. He was glad he hadn’t eaten anything this morning. “I want to do the right thing, but I have no clue what that is. I’ve been half in love with Lily for years and felt guilty about it, so I kept my distance.” He gestured to Walker. “Now I’m feeling even more guilty.”

Walker’s eyes widened in surprise, and he rubbed at the back of his neck. “You’re so closed off; nobody would know that you cared for her.”

“I know, and I gave you my word. Let me … get through this protection detail, figure out who’s harassing her, then I’ll step away and let you have your shot.” It was the hardest thing he’d ever said. He didn’t want any man touching Lily, even his thoughtful and impressive brother, but his word was his word.

Walker studied him and then lifted his hands. “If she’s chosen you, what does it matter?”

Clint’s heart gave a strange leap. Had Lily chosen him, or was it by default?

“I don’t know that she’s chosen me. She named me because I’m the sheriff and known in Kalispell. We’ve gotten close the past few days, but I don’t know that it means anything.” It meant everything to him.

His heart thudded dully in his chest. Was he giving up on Lily? What was the saying about setting someone you loved free? It was a stupid saying.

Walker said nothing for a few beats. “I don’t want to fight with you either. I’d like a chance to date Lily and let her know how I’ve always felt about her, but you know I’m not the guy to push his way in. If she loves you, I’ll deal with it.”

His brother was willing to step down, but it wouldn’t be right of Clint to take advantage of Walker’s kindness. Lily needed to choose for herself, and she couldn’t very well do that living at Clint’s house and with him taking advantage of kissing and touching her every other moment.

“You’re an honorable and great guy, Walker. I’ll step back after we finish this and let you have your chance.”

Walker studied him. Then he shook his head, took his hat off, and ran his fingers through his hair. He jammed his hat back on. “I’ve always looked up to you, Clint. I know you’d do anything for our family.”

Clint nodded. It was true. His family had always come first. Except when he got engaged to Sheryl and ignored their concerns. He wanted to put Lily first now, but that may never happen. Would she fall for Walker if he gave her that slow smile and declared his longtime feelings for her? What woman wouldn’t fall for a thoughtful, kind yet tough and accomplished man like Walker? Women literally threw themselves at Walker’s ‘charming’ twin Easton, but Walker had plenty of women after him as well.

“I know you’ll do the right thing,” Walker said.

Clint studied his brother. If only he knew what the right thing was.