Chapter 5

T wo months. Two bloody months I was gone. After they had dropped that little bombshell, the guys had decided I needed more rest. No one had wanted to leave me alone in case I vanished again, so someone has remained with me constantly since then. The only peace I get is when I go to the bathroom. Overprotective shifters.

That was three days ago, and I'm about to go mad if they don't let me leave this bedroom. At first, I was flattered, but now I'm just grouchy. They left Seb here on babysitting duty today because they know I wouldn't shout at him, which is just unfair.

Deciding enough is enough, I swing my legs out of the bed and stand. This is harder than I would like to admit. My body feels battered and weak, which I guess it is after not being used for two months. The first time I had looked in the mirror, I wanted to cry. I'm not vain, but seeing my withered, pale body had been a shock. Garett had pulled me into his arms and reassured me that he still found me beautiful, which was sweet, but not comforting when I looked more like a seventy-year-old rather than the twenty-four-year-old that I am. It doesn't help that the wound on my arm is throbbing. It doesn't hurt as much as it did, but it's still a continual reminder of my time in the Shadow Realm .

Seb, who's rolling around on the end of the bed like a cat, sits up and frowns at me as I walk over to the wardrobe and start to get dressed. I don't want to admit how much effort it takes for me to put clothes on, and I'm certainly not going to let him know that.

"Where are you going?" he asks, walking over to me and helping untangle me from my jumper that I'm frustratingly caught up in.

"I'm going downstairs to carry on with my life. I'm not going to let any of this stop me. Shadow Pack may have taken away my childhood, but I'm not going to let them, or the Shadow Realm, take away the life I've built for myself here," I insist, tugging on my favourite jeans and rummaging through the drawers to try find a belt since they puddle around my waist. "I need to train, to get stronger, so we can find Tori."

I expect Seb to put up a fight, and for a moment, I think he's about to, until he realises it's futile and shrugs his shoulders.

"Okay." I grin at him and pull him into a hug, grateful that he's going to let me do this. My wolf wakes up with the close proximity to Seb, and a content rumble fills the room. Growing up, I always resented my wolf, and now I find myself lost at the idea of not having her. I'd hoped that once I'd settled, my wolf would wake up more, now that I was back from the Shadow Realm, but that hadn't happened. I've found that she only seems to react around the guys, which is both comforting and worrying. It's comforting since I know she's still there, but worrying as it makes me wonder if I can ever shift again without one of the guys being near. She has certainly made her choice clear though, she's chosen the guys as hers.

Seb stiffens in my arms and pulls back from my hug slightly so he can look me in the eye. I can see his desire, so I don't understand his reluctance to my touch.

"What's wrong?" I demand, fed up of them tiptoeing around me .

"You're so thin, Ari! I'm worried I'm going to hurt you!" he says and tries to untangle himself from my arms.

My wolf doesn't like the implication that she isn't strong. She rushes to the surface, and I now have Seb's full attention as my eyes start to glow, my alpha power rolling off me. I can't control it at this point, but I'm not sure I would want to even if I could.

"I'm not some fragile china doll." My words are quiet and come out as a purr as I push Seb up against the wall next to us. He gasps, and his eyes dilate with arousal. I lean forward, nuzzling my nose against the crook of his neck, inhaling deeply. Seb goes to say something, but I cut him off with a gentle bite on the side of his neck, right over his pulse point. He groans, and I feel his erection pressing against my leg. We both know that right now he could probably physically overpower me, but metaphysically, I'm stronger than him. I've never taken things this far with any of the guys before, aside from Garret, but the dedication they've shown when I was in the Shadow Realm, combined with nearly losing them, has revealed what's really important. Besides, wolf-Ari is running the show right now, and she wants Seb. We don't usually agree on much, and before the attack, I probably would have fought this, but I find that right now, I don't care. I nearly lost them all, and I'm not going to risk that again.

"Yes, Alpha," he groans, his voice breathy as he leans his head to one side to stretch out his neck, giving me greater access. This is a truly subservient move, and if he wasn't holding me up, I know he would be on his knees. I graze his jugular again.

"Don't call me that," I whisper. I'm not alpha here. I don't want to be alpha anywhere. I don't imbed any of my power into the command, but his body jerks like I have and his eyes widen. I can practically feel his desire rolling off him and it makes me feel powerful.

"Yes, Ari," he responds, his eyes dropping to the ground as I pull away to look at him. I snake a hand up his body and grip on to his hair, pulling his head back to raise his gaze .

"Look at me." Again, I don't use any of my power, although I so easily could. His eyes instantly snap to mine, and a heat that threatens to burn me lingers in his gaze.

"Do you want this? I won't force you." I continue to whisper, our eyes locked. I mean what I say, I won't use my power to force anyone. If we're going to do this, it has to be consensual, I need to be sure that Seb wants this as much as I do. A look of shock crosses his face, like he isn't used to being asked.

"Fuck yes. This is all I've wanted for a long time, but we shouldn't." His words are strong and sure, completely in contrast to his actions, and right now, I don't care about shoulds or should nots.

"Then prove it. Kiss me," I challenge, as I nibble along his jaw, letting my teeth scrape across his skin.

A slight growl leaves his throat as he raises a hand to my face, pulling me closer, and presses his lips firmly against my own. The kiss is hot, deep, and full of pent-up passion. I know he's just waiting for me to take the next step. Unlike the others, Seb won't push me. He'll wait until the end of the time for me to give him the word, and I need that. I might've even taken that step if it wasn't for a sound by the door, alerting me that we weren't alone anymore. A soft growl leaves my throat, my lips still pressed against Seb's. I know it's one of the guys, so I don't go on the defensive, but my wolf still isn't happy at the interruption.

"Don't stop on my account." Alex's voice greets me. While some might be sarcastic, I can tell from his tone that he means what he says.

Keeping my body pressed to Seb's and pinning him to the wall, I glance over my shoulder at Alex. He's leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed, a lazy grin, and an intense gaze burn into me. There is no jealousy or judgement in his eyes, just rapt interest and lust. His erection is clear to see by the bulge in his jeans, which he makes no move to hide.

"You like what you see?" I ask with a purr, my wolf fully taking over, making my voice husky and sensual .

This is obviously the response he was waiting for, as he pushes away from the doorframe and stalks over to us. Standing just behind me, to the side so I can barely see him if I crane my head, he brushes against me. Leaning forward, he presses his lips to Seb's throat, his teeth mirroring the movements I'd been doing on the other side of Seb's neck just moments ago. My eyes flick to Seb, who has his eyes closed in a mixture of pleasure and pain, his desire palpable. A little grin crosses my lips before I start to kiss and nip along Seb's neck again. The tension in the room rises, and I have to say, I'm thoroughly enjoying being an Ari sandwich, with domineering Alex at my back and submissive Seb in front.

"Alex, is Ari awake?" Garett's voice floats up the staircase, and Alex lets out a sigh of frustration, dropping his head to my shoulder.

"Just as we get to the good stuff," he mutters under his breath before calling back, "Yeah, we're just coming down!" He pulls away from me and starts to walk towards the door, letting Seb and I untangle ourselves.

We straighten our clothes in silence and try to make ourselves look like we weren't one kiss away from a threesome. You might think the silence would be tense, but it's not, it's heated, and if either of them so much as looks at me, I think I might tear their clothes off. Taking a deep breath, I start to leave the room before Alex's hand lands on my arm. I don't turn to look at him, but I feel him coming closer to me.

"This isn't over." His breath tickles my neck as he whispers before leaving the room.

Something has changed between the three of us, and I'm not sure if it's for the better or if it will consume us all.

I need to clear my head. I've only just made it back and I'm trying to jump everyone's bones. I could blame it on my time in the Shadow Realm, but I don't think that's the case. This attraction has been building for a while. The Shadow Realm may not have changed me, but it's made me realise that life is short. Gloria had encouraged me to explore my relationships with these guys and insisted that I shouldn't be ashamed that I have feelings for more than one of them, even if one was her son.

Gloria. My heart throbs in grief as I remember the woman I was beginning to think of as a mother to me. I glance over my shoulder at Seb, the son she left behind. He hasn't been the same since she was killed, and not just because he was grieving. Seb is changing. As a submissive member of the pack, he was one of the lowest in terms of power. Somehow, Seb's power seems to be changing, growing.

Feeling my heavy gaze, Seb looks over at me with a questioning smile on his face. A tension hangs over him that wasn't there before Gloria's death, like he's carrying the burden of it. Which I guess he is. Now that Gloria is gone, Seb will be the sole provider for Jessica, his young sister. Not that Moon River Pack would ever let her be uncared for. Shifters are very protective of their young and often share the rearing of their children, but I know personally what it's like growing up without a mother.

"Ari?" Seb's voice brings me out of my musing.

"How's Jessica?" The smile drops from his face at my question, and the weight of responsibility settles over him again. I almost regret asking, but I need to know.

"She gets nightmares."

I nod at his words, not needing him to say anything else. It's not a surprise that she's having nightmares. No one should have to witness an attack like the one on Moon River, especially someone as young as Jessica. Guilt runs through me. I need to make sure I go and see her as soon as all this is sorted.

"Let's get this over with," I mutter and start heading downstairs, the guys following me. My legs feel weak, my muscles protesting after not being used for months, and I have to pause at the top of the stairs to catch my breath. I seriously need to get back in shape.

"Ari…" Alex's tone holds a warning, but I shake my head and ig nore it. I can't stay in bed and let the others sort out my problems for me.

The gentle murmur of voices reaches me as I make my way downstairs, and I pause as a wave of alpha power washes over me. There are a lot of strong shifters down there. I walk into the communal room of the medical building where I've been staying, only to find everyone waiting for me. Expressions of disbelief, happiness, and relief greet me, causing me to stagger to a stop in the doorway.

I'd known people were fond of me in the pack, but the number of people stuffed into the room and the goodwill coming from them is overwhelming. Some of the most influential members of the pack are here, but to my surprise, many of the lower-level wolves are also present, many of whom have been my patients. The noise in the room rises as everyone starts speaking at once.

"Ari! You're back!"

"It's so good to see you!"

"What happened? Are you okay?"

Killian comes to the front of the room and stands before me, as if to protect me from everyone. Usually, I would scold him for the overprotective, possessive behaviour, but I'm grateful as I try to get my bearings. I have spent so much time on my own, not being seen, that I'm completely overwhelmed. I close my eyes and lean my forehead against his back, allowing myself this moment of weakness, not wanting to examine why this direct contact with Killian sends a jolt of happiness through me. A little voice inside protests that this isn't weakness, but I push it aside. I'll deal with that later. A cough comes from the corner of the room, and a familiar presence falls over me.

"Alpha Mortlock." Pulling away from Killian, I open my eyes and greet the alpha with a weak smile.

"Ari, it's good to see you with us again. We weren't sure you were going to make it, but your men never gave up hope."

Your men. I ignore the blush the coats my cheeks at his casual mention of my little harem, if that's even what it is. I look around the room, expecting judging stares, but I'm surprised to see several looks of approval.

"Thank you, Alpha," I reply respectfully with a dip of my head before glancing around at the full room again. "There are a lot of people here."

"You are popular within the pack. When they heard the news you were back, they all flooded here to welcome you," he says with a jovial smile. He makes it sound like I've been away on a holiday. His smile drops a fraction as he runs his eyes over me, taking in my thin frame and tired expression. "All right, everyone, let's leave Ari in peace to catch up on what's been going on." Grumbles fill the room, and he rolls his eyes, raising his arms in a ‘hush' motion. "We'll have a pack meet and run tonight, you'll get your chance to see her then!"

Appeased, they begin to file out and several call goodbyes to me as they leave. Wow. How did this happen? Several months ago, I was living a quiet life as a lone wolf with my best friend. I was desperate to live independently from a pack, fiercely fighting for my independence, but now I seem to be at the centre of a pack, surrounded by people who really do care for me. The old Ari would bolt for the hills, and I'm not ashamed to admit that the urge to run fills my body. As if knowing what I'm thinking, Garett pads towards me, and I feel completed as he joins my side. He is my rock, my point of stability. Placing one finger under my chin, he raises it so our eyes meet.

"You okay?" he asks softly. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly, nodding at his question. I'm not sure that I am okay right now, but I will be. I don't say as much, but I know he understands. He brushes his thumb softly across my cheek before planting a gentle kiss to my lips. A small sigh escapes me as he pulls away with a quirk of his brow. His eyes have dilated, and although he tries to hide it, I can see him sniffing the air. He leans into me, sniffing along my neck before grumbling into my ear .

"I can smell your arousal. And theirs." His words are not accusatory or judgemental, only that, and the dilation of his pupils, gives away his own arousal. Okay, that's embarrassing. Does that mean Alpha Mortlock can smell it on me too? Everyone who had just been in here? Oh man. I'm now trapped between an aroused bear and a possessive alpha wolf. My wolf, the hussy, is perfectly happy to stay here, but human-Ari? Nope, not going there right now. I give an awkward laugh and push against Garett's chest. He moves back, but only because he lets me, we both know that if he didn't want to move, my little push wouldn't have done anything.

"Okay, simmer down, Grizzly. Anyone want to fill me in on what's been going on?" I use the same words that Alpha Mortlock had used. Something about them bugged me, like there was something I needed to know.

The two shifters surrounding me step away, and I take a deep breath, having a look around to see who is left in the room. Alpha Mortlock and his mate, Lena, are seated in one of the sofas, her hand in his with a beaming smile on her face. I'm still blown away that someone so nice has managed to stay in a position as high and coveted as the mate of the pack alpha. Although, I'd learned very early on that Moon River Pack was very different than the pack I was raised in. In Shadow Pack, even something as sacred as a true mated pair wouldn't be enough to stop someone from vying for the position.

The pack gamma, Isa, is standing just behind the alpha, her arms crossed as she observes the room for threats. This is the reason she's the gamma. In addition to being strong and earning the position, she is truly passionate about pack safety, even within the relative security of the pack grounds. Although when she sees me, a smile lights her face, transforming her as she walks over to me. If I didn't know better, I would have guessed she was a bear shifter from her stature alone, she rivals Garett in the muscle and bulk department.

"Ari." Her thick German accent makes me smile, I hadn't realised how much I would miss hearing it, especially since we hadn't spent much time together. When had she become someone I cared for? She pats me on the back in a welcoming gesture.

" Oomphf ." I stumble forward from the strength of her greeting before she reaches out to steady me.

"Your body is weak," she states with a frown as she looks me up and down. I'm about to protest when a fond smile crosses her face, and she puts her arm around me in a semi-hug. This is the most affection I've ever seen from the mountain of a woman. "But your mind is strong, this is what counts."

"Thanks, Isa. I missed you too."

I can't stifle my laugh as I see Seb watching the exchange with his jaw hanging open. I guess I'm not the only one surprised by her actions.

"Wait. She hugged…" He grins and steps forward with his arms open wide. "Does that mean I can get a hug too, Isa?"

"No." The word is spoken bluntly, and Isa returns to her position behind the alpha, but not before I spot a small smile on her face. She quickly hides it, and I don't think anyone one else saw it. Perhaps I'm not the only one who's learning to open up.

Alpha Mortlock gestures to a chair, and I take a seat, grateful to be off my feet. I won't admit it out loud, but I'm exhausted. I guess being trapped in a different dimension for two months will do that to you. The alpha clears his throat, and the room goes silent, all eyes falling on him respectfully. Even Garett, who's come to sit on the arm of the chair I'm seated in, falls into attention as his hand drops from my shoulder where he was playing with a piece of my hair. As an outside shifter, he's expected to follow the rules of the pack that invited him here, but the familiar smile between him and Mortlock hints that they have a closer relationship than that. Seb sits at my feet, curling around my legs and pushing his head into my lap where my hands fall to rest on his shoulders. Killian comes to my other side and rests his hand on the arm of the chair, his hand brushing against mine. To anyone watching, it would look like the contact was accidental, but the predatory look in his eyes and the tug in my chest tells me otherwise. Possessive bastard. The guys can't seem to stop touching me, random little unnecessary touches, almost as if they are trying to reassure themselves that I'm really here. Alex takes his position behind the alpha, as expected, but his eyes are trained on me, watching my every move.

"Ari, will you tell us what happened?" the alpha asks, and it's a genuine question. I'm pretty sure that if I said I didn't want to talk about it, he would accept that. Another difference between the packs.

I take a deep breath to gather my thoughts, a lot of what happened in the Shadow Realm is fuzzy, like a dream.

"When they were going to kill Garett, I delved deep into my Shadowborn powers, deeper than I've ever gone before. I knew there would be consequences for using that kind of power, but I didn't care if it meant Garett would live," my voice is strong as I speak, growls filling the air at my admission. "I also knew that by killing the Shadow Pack alpha, everyone else would be safe. They threatened us. I'd revealed my hand by showing that I care for you all. Once they knew that, they were always going to go after you. I brought that upon you, so it was my responsibility to put it to rights."

The words tumble out of me, my emotions a mess. I feel guilt at what I put the guys through, but also because I was the reason they were attacked in the first place. The burden of keeping this responsibility falls heavily upon me. I feel multiple hands being laid on me, in comfort or objecting to what I was saying, but I hadn't finished.

"After that, I felt the pull of the shadows, and I knew it was time to pay for my actions. Both there in that warehouse and from before." I don't need to explain what I mean by that, they've all guessed what manner of deeds I was forced to do when I was part of the Shadow Pack. "And do you know what? As I was taken away, I knew I deserved it." The weight of their stares has me looking into my lap as I talk, not wanting to see any judgement in their eyes.

The loud, unmistakable smack of someone punching a wall fills the room. Instinctively, I flinch from the noise before I hear the sound of footsteps storming out. I don't need to look up to know it was Killian, a slight ache in my chest lets me know of his anger as he strides away from me. Good. I probably deserve that anger, but I'm unused to Killian walking away. Usually, he would shout at me, yell and throw his alpha power around, so this change in character makes me nervous.

"Ari." The word is quiet but firm, and I look up at the person who spoke it. Alpha Mortlock looks as serious as I've ever seen him, and I brace myself for the backlash of my actions. "Let me make this clear once and for all. The attack upon this pack was the action of a sadist. None of this was your fault. If anything, we're in your debt. You've made a difference here, through your nursing and your interactions with the pack. We've thought of you as family for a while now, but let me remind you that there is a permanent place here for you in Moon River Pack," he offers.

My eyes widen as he speaks, and disbelief runs through me. I wait for the feeling of panic and pressure to begin at the thought of being trapped, but find that it doesn't appear.

"There's no need to decide now, and you're still welcome to stay here for as long as you wish if you choose not to join us, you will forever be a friend of the pack. But if you want it, there's a home here for you. You can live here in the medical building, or we will build you your own cabin."

My throat is tight, and I worry that if I speak, I'll start to cry. My eyes burn as I nod at Mortlock's sincere offer. I've never had anything that was truly mine before, so his offer means more to me than he knows. I won't make this decision now, but I have been offered something I never thought I might get—a place to belong. I'm aware of so many eyes on me. Yes, they are people I trust, but I'm unused to showing so much emotion. Sitting up straighter, I smile at Mortlock and push down on the rising emotions.

"Will you tell us what happened in this Shadow Realm?" Lena asks gently, as if worried the question will upset me. I can't help the smile that crosses my lips at this.

I sober as I think over what I'm going to tell them about what happened.

"You might want to take a seat," I say to Isa and the others who are still standing. "This may take a while."

I tell them about the Shadow Realm, about its lack of life and time, how I roamed for days unable to sleep, seemingly going nowhere. I tell them of the forest that exuded malevolence, the eerie pull that drew me into the dark trees, and the beasts that haunted it. I explain the wound on my arm, how, over time, it deteriorated my memory of who I was, how I lost my wolf, and the only thing that kept me going were my trips to see the men who grounded me. At some point during the explanation, Killian came back into the room, cradling his fist before coming to stand beside my chair, his glare was enough to stop anyone from even looking in his direction. I know they want to ask questions, but everyone is silent as I explain. Several growls fill the room when I speak of the stranger made of light and his promise to help me. This is the only time they interrupt me during my story.

"Who was this stranger? How was he in the Shadow Realm with you?" Garett leans forward with a frown. Shrugging my shoulders, I turn my face to see him.

"I don't know, but I felt like I could trust him. He didn't feel dangerous like the shadow beasts did."

"You can't trust him," Killian snarls as he stalks towards me, placing his hands on either side of the chair, bracketing me in. "Besides, it doesn't matter, because you're not going back. Ever." I narrow my eyes at him, my wolf perking up with Killian's proximity to us, but not liking the possessive way he's acting. My own power reacts to his, making the hairs on my arms stand up. I'm about to respond, undoubtedly causing an argument, but Alex clears his throat.

"Killian, now is not the time." His voice is soft, but something about it causes Killian to look over at Alex. They lock eyes for a moment before Killian concedes, shocking me again when he pulls away, stalking away to glare at me from the other side of the room.

I continue my story, and before long, I've finished, the room staying silent for a while as they digest what I've just told them. Looking around, I see concern and frustration on their faces. I clear my throat to gain their attention, a pressing need filling me.

"Will someone tell me what's been going on? Where's Tori?" As soon as I say her name, the alpha's face tightens and a sense of dread fills me. "What's happened?" I demand. I should really watch my tone when speaking to an alpha, but I don't care about the repercussions, I need to know.

Alpha Mortlock sighs and rubs his hand across his weary face.

"A lot has happened since you went away."