Chapter 41

T he following morning came too early, as if time itself had blinked forward. The nightmare, still thick in my throat, haunted me with the rising sun. Our oars skimmed through the water in a synchronous rhythm, greeting another day closer to our ultimate fates. My connection to the Spring Queen hadn't felt this strong before. She'd come to me in dreams, but never like this. I'd lived out one of her memories.

Was her time in court merely a scene tangled in my subconscious, or was it the harsh reality of a time long gone?

I sighed, running my hands down my biceps, expecting to feel swollen, purple bruises from the guard's tight grip as he pulled me back into those frigid shadows. I wanted to tell Aryx of my night time travels, but with every fleeting look, his eyes hardened. The love that once burned so brightly there had run out of fuel, leaving a cold vacancy that split my insides into pieces.

"My Queen, there's something on the horizon," the oarsman said, his eyes nervously darting from wave to wave.

I peered over the railing, scanning where water met sky. We weren't close enough to see Elder's Island. There, on the port side of our bow, was a small black blip hiding behind the rise and fall of the distant sea-foam waves. The sun made it next to impossible to distinguish.

"Rah, what is that ahead?" I called.

The falcon, in his heavenly perch on our tallest mast, squawked and took flight. He soared into the sky, feathers rustling as he climbed in altitude until his glorious wings were merely a speck in the great stretch of cerulean. I watched the bird until he disappeared entirely, then my eyes focused back in on the shadow staining the horizon. It was dark, but not black. Judging from the blurs of sea foam crashing around it, it was solid. The hair on my arms pricked. Whatever it was, I seriously doubted it was friendly.

Aryx paced across the aft deck of his ship, watching the blip with arms laced behind his back and a furrowed, sun-soaked brow. Given the embers of determination radiating from his eyes, I knew we would be ready for whatever we were about to face.

I swallowed hard and alerted my sailors of the looming threat. The men jumped into action, moving and working along the deck. The oarsman barked orders forward, a hint of trepidation crackling in his voice.

You will not like my report, Rah whispered through our tether, causing a heavy lump of dread to fall through the pit of my stomach.

"What is it, Rah?" I continued to watch the blip, scanning its motion as it blurred and sharpened with each crashing wave.

It is called Charybdis. Scylla's brother. An ancient, powerful creature. It tracked us using the scent of its sister's death. We need to push on before it catches up. Otherwise…

I swallowed hard. Otherwise we'd be dead.

An obstacle of ancient, primal descent- far older than the elements themselves. We'd barely escaped Scylla's cliffs with a fleet double in size. How could we possibly weather another attack of the same magnitude?

"Oarsman, we need full speed. If that catches us," I pointed out to the horizon, "we're fucked."

The blip was slightly larger now and much clearer. Dark grey clouds, thick and saturated, gathered on the horizon. The sun shrouded itself behind an all-powerful storm, taking refuge from the looming threat. The sky transitioned to a deep periwinkle. Waves gathered force until their crests crashed over our railing, sending misting my cheeks with salt spray. Seasick rowers below deck groaned and retched with each steep roll of our hull.

My Queen, it's too fast. Prepare our fleet for a fight.

Interlacing my fingers around the hilt of my sword, I glanced toward Aryx's ship. He stood with a strong and stoic facade beside the oarsman. The slight bob in his throat and the clenched muscle of his jaw were subtle, but I sensed them. He was afraid.

Hurtling toward our fleet with a speed I'd never witnessed before was a massive tubular eel. Deep green spines, as sharp as an urchin's, protruded from impenetrable skin littered with battle scars. My hands trembled against the railing I now gripped so strongly, I thought my knuckles might break. Our rowers picked up pace, their blades slicing through the water with panicked strength. We weren't fast enough, however. The dreaded anticipation electrified the heavy storm above. All we could do was wait and pray to the gods that we would survive.

Charybdis was closing in on us now. My voice cracked through the air like the shattering sound of thunderheads as I ordered our archers to take aim. As if one entity, they knocked their bows and raised them into the sky. A few more seconds now and the beast would be in range. Waves slammed into our fleet, causing crew and soldiers alike to cling to the railings.

"Fire!"

My command unleashed a wave of arrows into the air. They arched overhead, disappearing briefly behind the misty storm clouds. The front of pointed arrowheads plummeted into the sea, some striking true, some vanishing into the depths.

The archers knocked their bows again, waiting to release the second wave. Before the words could leave my mouth, however, Charybdis reared its forward end into the open air. It had no head, no eyes, just teeth. A large, rounded mouth opened wide. Rows of forked, yellowing daggers pricked from squishy, grey gums. The roar that reverberated from deep within its belly sent a shockwave through the open sea, briefly stilling the storming wavelets, and knocking me to my knees.

Yeah, we were fucked.

A black, wriggling mass of eels poured from its mouth. Plunking into the sea, they raced toward our ships. Sending Arcturas below decks where she'd be safe from the rolling swells, I drew the sword strapped to my back. Watching me, Aryx pulled his gleaming, golden weapon from its sheath.

The world seemed to stop turning, and the air grew stagnant. Time froze. Clouds overhead were so saturated, so heavy, they practically begged for release, pleaded for relief. I swallowed hard and tightened the straps of my leather breastplate.

One moment, everything stopped.

The next, all hell broke loose.

Charybdis flung its massive body across the hull of the closest warship, splintering the wooden chime until the timbers themselves disintegrated into the salty sea. Bodies littered the water, frantically thrashing for help as the army of smaller eels feasted upon their flesh. I could barely watch as my men were eaten alive, screams burrowing through my ears, scarring the inner walls of my mind permanently.

Our arrows penetrated its thick outer skin, but they only angered the creature more. If our ships got too close, the fleet would be swallowed up and doomed to spend eternity trapped in the pit of its voracious stomach.

Crack! Another warship was in pieces, bodies wriggling and writhing beneath the waves, their blood clouding the ocean with a thick maroon haze.

Crack! Another. We'd lost so many already. We couldn't afford much more. I stifled the scream now, plucking my vocal cords like an instrument. The eels continued to shred skin and muscle tissue from my drowning men.

Crack! Another. Everything was moving too fast, too fluid. I couldn't think, couldn't move from where I stood. The oarsman behind me shouted forward, begging me for an order. His voice was a mere muffled string of sounds. All I could hear were the screams of dying men. The tearing of flesh. Charybdis struck again, its teeth now dripping seawater and blood.

Suddenly, there was a firm hand on my shoulder, pulling me to my knees. As my body collapsed against the timbers, a flurry of arrows rushed through the air where I'd just stood.

"Snap out of it!" Aryx cried, rolling our bodies away from a snapping eel now writhing along the deck. I swallowed hard, numb to the death surrounding us.

"Elpis! Let go! It's our only chance of survival. Please!" His voice was hoarse from yelling. My mouth, gaping open, refused to free the words now racing through me. The gold strands of his wind-blown hair and the sharp curve of his clenched jaw faded away. In their place, shredded, bloated bodies. Every muscle, down to my core, convulsed.

"Look at me." Calloused hands wrapped themselves around my cheeks. "Your men need you. They're dying. They need your help. Let go." Strong fingers stroked away the tears now gushing from my eyes. "Elpis. Look at me."

For a brief second, the blood, the bone, the death fell away. For just a moment, those golden, shimmering eyes pulled me out of reality.

"I need you. Let it all go," he whispered, pulling me to him. Flames burned through me when our lips met. The salty taste of the sea trickled down my throat. I breathed him in. His touch was the blood that pumped through my veins, the air that inflated my lungs. He was the past, the present, and the future. He was everything.

Heavy beads of rain erupted from the sky, the sound of arrows zoomed around us, the roars of our enemy sent tidal waves across the furious sea. In this moment, the feel of his lips took hold of me entirely, and nothing could part us.

Familiar tingles rushed from my toes through my chest to the crown of my head. My limbs felt light, as if I weighed less than a feather. Loose locks of matted, salty hair licked across my face. I closed my eyes, unlocking the demon from her cage.

The world turned to night.

My vision came and went in glimpses as I let my monsters consume me. One moment, I was floating above the waves, encapsulated in a bright amethyst glow. The next Charybdis breeched the surface and gnashed its razor-like teeth toward me. Tendrils of power, curling around my fingers, shot at the beast, penetrating its thick skin. With each blow Charybdis roared in fury, obsidian blood oozing from its open wounds.

Flashes of light cracked across the sky like the lighting of a raging storm. With each purple flash, the gaping faces of my soldiers came into view. I continued to unleash the true self I'd fought so hard to suppress. It felt easy. Like eating to remedy hunger or drinking to replenish thirst, letting her consume me was instinctual, and I reveled in it. My body felt stronger. My mind sharper. Every detail of the world scratched against my skin. With heightened sense, I didn't need daylight to see.

Charybdis shrieked again, letting thousands more black eels flood from its mouth. Like a river blockaded by a dam, the power inside me built up more and more until the walls fractured. I took a breath, preparing my mind for the flood as the dam finally crumbled and the shadows poured out.

The world was shrouded in darkness.

Until it wasn't.

Ultraviolet hues of color pulsed through me, blinding the world in my light.

The vicious roar bouncing from wave to wave went silent. The water stilled.

Everything stopped and for a second, I thought maybe I'd obliterated it all, leaving only the borealis behind. When the light faded, however, the world came back into view. Men gawked from the remaining warships, their eyes filled with wonder, and maybe terror. Waves lapped softly against the surface, pushing limp black eels away from our fleet. The giant worm bellied up and rolled away with the currents. Its body wrinkled and stretched as it returned to the sea.

All was quiet as I returned to the deck. Arcturas, who had burst through from below, howled and sprinted to my side. Every fiber of my being was relaxed, at peace. The weight of the world had lifted from my back. The demon returned to her cage, but this time, I didn't lock her shackles. Somehow, this war between us ended. We'd come to an agreement.

Terrified whispers raced through the crew as they distanced themselves from me. All of my soldiers trembled in my presence. All except one. Aryx pushed through the crowd.

"My Queen.," he murmured, kneeling before me. I sucked in a breath. He'd never taken a knee before me. Here and now, this legendary half-god acknowledged my power over his so publicly. So vulnerably.

I curled my fingers around his cheek and pulled him to his feet. All the rage that had once pulsed through me flatlined. We came close to death today, too close. Our lives, maybe fated to intertwine or maybe not, were constantly at risk. We didn't have the privilege of fighting or hating or withholding forgiveness. In this moment, nothing he could say, no matter how cruel, no matter how spiteful, would break the current that linked us together.

Later, when I'd washed the grime of battle from my skin, Aryx and I sat in my quarters, having finished a quiet meal together.

"I thought I'd lost you for a minute there," Aryx said, combing his fingers through my matted hair. Candles scattered around the space emitted a dry, flickering warmth. The steady rise and fall of the ocean above rocked the ship gently, like a mother soothing her infant child.

"This isn't the first time we've said that. Nor will it be the last. I can't help but think about our men. How much more of this can we put them through?"

"Elpis," Aryx stopped, tipping my chin to face him, "They knew what they were risking when they signed on. You can't blame yourself."

I swallowed, lowering my eyes to my hands. "But it is my fault. I made that bargain with Procyon, I brought them to sea, I-."

"Stop," he said, kneeling so our eyes were level. "If you asked any of those men out there," he pointed toward the cabin door, "they'd say it's their honor to fight for you. To fight for us. You saved us against Charybdis. Against Scylla. Gods, we wouldn't have made it out of the fucking harbor without you. Yes, it would be different if you were hiding away in a throne room watching men die, but you're not. You're with us. Fighting alongside us. Risking your life just as much as they are."

His gaze burned so brightly into me, I thought I might combust.

"Look, you're always going to carry the weight of their deaths. But you're not alone. I'm here. Let me take some of it. Let me help you." His voice was a soft caress against my skin.

Closing my eyes, I felt the warmth of his chest against my cheek as he pulled me in. It was safe here, easy. Just as before, fighting beside my demon rather than against her, I felt weightless. I felt free.

Aryx knelt before me, placing his hands on my knees, and stared up at me.

"I know you don't want to hear it…" he said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

"And I know you're not ready to say it back…" His thumb stroked my cheek, my bottom lip, my collarbone.

"Don't," I whispered.

My skin melted under his touch. He was intoxicating. The sound of his voice was the only melody I'd ever need to hear. His heated gaze, the only warmth I'd ever need to feel.

"Elpis." He leaned into me, our mouths only a hair width apart. The anticipation of his lips pressing against mine ignited every inch of my skin, raising the hairs on the nape of my neck. The space between us felt too great, the air felt too thick.

"When I'm around you, the world fades away. When you touch me, something sets fire. For the first time in my life, I feel worthy. I feel deserving," he said, brushing his forehead against mine. Time hung frozen around us.

"Aryx, I-" His lips cut off my words, forcing them back into my mouth. My thoughts vanished nearly instantly as his scent tickled my nose. I craved it, yearned for it to wrap around me. I pressed into him, tangling my fingers through his hair. The weeks of silence, the heartbroken glares, all of it washed away with each kiss. In this moment, we were infinite.

We were gods.

"I love you, Elpis. I will never stop loving you," he whispered through panting breaths. "You have every piece of me. You've stolen every thought. Every dream. Every waking moment." I felt his fingers trace down my thighs and squeeze my skin.

"You are everything. Always."

I couldn't breathe. He'd taken the air away, but I yearned to stay here in this suffocating electricity. The taste of freedom trickled down my throat and suddenly I realized he was my escape. He wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted me from my seat, our lips never leaving one another for long enough to grow cold .