Chapter 28

Her face became as white as death, and her eyes darted to the ground. She looked so utterly stricken that it broke Thomas' heart. He doubted that she could look more hurt if Thomas had simply reached across the space between them and struck her with his hand. And her despair sank into Thomas, seeming to creep down all the way into his bones and fill him with a cold sort of dread. Beside Lady Victoria, Lady Norwood stood, her expression triumphant.

"Now," Lady Norwood said, "you see precisely the sort of person he is. This is exactly why I want you away from him."

"No," Thomas replied. "You did not warn me away from her because of this. You warned her away from me because of your own selfish desires. You did not tell Lady Victoria that if she refuses to wed me, you receive half of the inheritance."

"Obviously, that is with the intent that I will care for Victoria," Lady Norwood said. "We cannot know what man she might love or if she will love any man at all, particularly given your betrayal."

Thomas inwardly winced. He reached out imploringly for Lady Victoria, trying to express all his regret and longing in that single gesture. "Please, listen to me," he said. "I can explain everything. I can make everything right."

Lady Victoria stared at him, her eyes wide. She looked like a rabbit facing a hunter's gun, helpless and startled. Slowly, she backed away from him, shaking her head. "No," she said. "I cannot believe that you have done this. There is nothing you can say or do that will make me believe you again. You have lied to me, and you—you doubted my faithfulness!"

"No," Thomas insisted. "I have not lied to you! Or if I have, it has not been as badly as your stepmother believes that it has been. I do love you, and I have loved you, and yes—I will admit that I was thinking about the money at first!"

A gasp tore from Victoria's lips.

"But listen to me," he insisted, taking another step forward.

Victoria took another step back, and her stepmother curled a protective hand over her stepdaughter's shoulder.

"I think you have done enough," Lady Norwood said.

"No," Thomas replied.

"And this is why I wanted to go somewhere more private," Lady Norwood said, gesturing broadly. "Look at what you have done now, Lord Bedford."

Only then did Thomas notice that he had raised his voice and attracted a small crowd. Most of them were performers and working people, but there were a few of the ton lingering about at the edges of the crowd. There would be vicious gossip to contend with later. Still, he was close to losing Lady Victoria. He could not turn away now.

"Fine. If there is to be an audience to my shame, so be it. Lady Victoria," he said, quietening his voice, trying to will her to understand all the conflicted feelings surging through his heart. "I was upset about the money, but I was only dismayed when I first learned about the will. I felt like I had worked so hard to keep our fathers' business afloat and to make it successful. And I did feel as though my hard work was not being appreciated when I heard that I must relinquish half of the profits if you chose to wed a man who was not me. I will admit that."

Lady Victoria rubbed a hand across her eyes, which were suspiciously bright. Thomas' chest felt as though it were tying itself in knots. This was the second time that he had hurt this young woman in the same week. He had never felt so wretched in his life.

"You wanted to marry me because you wanted the money?"

"No," Thomas insisted. "I was angry at first, but I did not want to marry you because of the money. I wanted to marry you because after I met you, I thought you were so wonderful. That first night in the theatre, I found myself enraptured by the sight of you watching the performance, more so than I had any woman I have ever seen. Then, I did not even know who you were. I only knew that I adored you and wanted to speak to you. I was delighted to discover that you were my intended bride later, and after that, the money became an afterthought. If—if I could marry you now, I would. With or without the money, it does not matter to me."

"But how can I believe that?" Victoria asked. "How can I trust you when you did not explain it to me at the start – when I had to learn of it from my stepmother?"

"I thought it might come between us. I truly did. I thought you might want to marry me because of the money. Do you not see that this was the only way I could be certain that you love me for who I am and not what I can give you?"

She did not seem to listen to him. Instead, she merely shook her head while crystal-like tears rolled down her lovely, distraught face. "Please," Thomas said. "Samuel can confirm my feelings. I've spoken to him at length about you."

"Of course, you have. But what does that prove?" Victoria asked. "He is your friend. He would confirm anything you said, especially if it were something that could benefit you as a marriage to me might. I was so foolish to trust you."

"Na?ve, maybe," Lady Norwood said, her voice softening. That did nothing for her eyes, though, which remained hard and gleaming with victory. "It is all right, my dear Victoria. I know that you meant no harm. All young ladies make their errors, but we are most fortunate that you came to realize yours before you made a terrible mistake."

"I—I should have listened to you, my stepmother," Lady Victoria said.

"You should not have!" Thomas argued. "And you—"

A hand curled over Thomas' shoulder. "I think it is best that we both leave the matter for now," Samuel said, his voice a spot of calm in an uncontrollable storm. "We are, indeed, drawing some attention to ourselves, and this matter is perhaps better resolved later after we have all had time and space to think about this conversation."

Thomas felt the urge to shake away his friend's concerned hand and to keep fighting for Lady Victoria's love. But he recognized the words, even if he wanted to continue arguing. Everything that Thomas said only seemed to upset the young woman further, his words carving deeper cuts into her wounded pride.

Seeming to recognize his hesitation, Lady Norwood gave him a final disapproving look and wrapped her arms around Victoria. "Come along, my dear," the lady murmured.

Lady Victoria did not protest, meekly letting her stepmother escort her away from him. Thomas stared at the young woman who held his heart and her wicked stepmother until their forms were lost behind the crowd of watchers, performers, and patrons. He felt as if he could no longer breathe, and there was not enough air in the world to satisfy him.

Thomas was too aware of the whispering all around him, and he felt the urge to scream at them all for standing there and enjoying—being entertained—as he lost the one lady he had ever truly loved.

"McCallister." Samuel's voice seemed to come from a country away.

Thomas reached into his pocket, and he felt the ring of gold curl around his finger. It felt like a branding – as if the metal itself were judging him for having done so terribly at this. And worse, a dark and insidious thought wormed into his mind. If he had not doubted Lady Victoria's devotion to him, would she have been willing to believe him now? Had his own doubt weakened her just enough that her stepmother had been able to tear their love asunder?

"McAllister," Samuel repeated quietly, gently. "You are a successful businessman. You know that sometimes you need to cut your losses. You know that sometimes you need to negotiate a different agreement for yourself."

But this was not business. This was the love of his life, which he risked losing forever, and he found himself utterly lost at how he might win her again.

"This is not about a business negotiation. This is about the love of my life," Thomas said, the words coming out haltingly and strange. It was as if he were not speaking them, but instead some other person, some other poor, bereft soul who had made a dreadful mistake.

"I know," Samuel said. "I promise that I do, but I think if you give her time and space to think, she may come around. Certainly, that is something that you need to do. Come, and let us go away from here. We can discuss this elsewhere, and we can think about how you might win her back. You have read enough plays to know that love, once lost, is not always lost forever."

Thomas almost laughed. "This is not a play," he said bitterly. "This is the lady who I love with my whole being. I have never loved any woman as passionately as she, and I shall never have any but her."

The murmuring around him grew into a symphony of edged whispers and sharp words, but he did not have the energy to ask any of those people still gawking and watching for entertainment to go away. Samuel scowled and squeezed Thomas' shoulder. "It is a festival," he said, waving a hand at the crowd. "Do you not have something else with which to occupy your time?"

His harsh tone managed to turn a few of them away. Thomas buried his face between his hands and muffled a despairing groan. How could a day that promised to be so lovely have gone so terribly wrong? It seemed as though it must be the cruellest twist of fate imaginable.

"Do not worry," Samuel said. "I promise that we will win her back for you. We will not stop until we have, and you will both be happily wed, just like you ought to be."

Thomas could not find it within himself to force a smile. It was easy for Samuel to say because he had not lost his love. He could abandon Thomas at once and likely be at Loralie's side in an instant. She and the theatre troupe were performing later; it was all that Samuel had talked about throughout the morning. It was much harder for Thomas, who felt as if his heart had just been torn out and he had lost the one thing that really mattered.

"You sound so confident," Thomas said. "But you do not know her like I do. Lady Victoria is strong and independent. She will not be won by anything I do."

"I will not let you accept defeat this easily," Samuel said.

Thomas grimaced. "But perhaps I do not deserve her."

"You do."

Thomas sighed and shook his head. Maybe Lady Victoria was right. Samuel was his friend, and he would only ever tell Thomas what he wanted to hear. Besides, Samuel did not know that he had accused Lady Victoria of being a rakish woman who toyed with men's affections and hurt them. If he had, he would not be nearly so kind.

"Take some time to think," Samuel said slowly. "Do not do anything reckless."

Thomas sighed. He tore away from his friend, leaving him behind. No amount of talking was going to make him feel better about his plight, so why speak at all?