Chapter 26

"I hope you know how fortunate you are to have me as a friend," Samuel said, smirking. "I had to listen to Lord Ardenridge's atrocious poetry while you were away and enjoying a conversation with a beautiful lady. It was a fate worse than death. I hope you are aware of that."

Thomas shook his head. "You are not being a little dramatic, are you?"

"Not in the least," Samuel replied. "If you had been left with Lord Ardenridge while I took a promenade with a lovely lady, I imagine that you would be equally as upset."

"Well," Thomas admitted. "Maybe a little upset. I am certain that the encounter was not nearly as dreadful as you are implying, though."

Samuel rolled his eyes, clearly unconvinced. They had returned to Thomas' townhouse following the picnic and were seated in his study, sharing cognac with one another, as they often did in the evenings.

"Feel free," Thomas added, "to make me return the favour at any time. I am more than happy to distract someone while you wander away with that actress who I know has caught your fancy."

Samuel nearly choked on his drink. "That is hardly the same," he replied. "Lord Ardenridge would never be around the theatre, much less Loralie, so the situation would never arise."

"Well," Thomas replied. "I suppose I cannot be blamed for that. I made the offer, and you have declined. This means that I owe you nothing, my friend."

"You most certainly can be blamed for that," Samuel replied.

"That makes no sense."

"If my senses are addled, it is because my head is so full of the worst material that I have ever heard in my life," Samuel retorted, "and that is your fault. I hope Lady Victoria's company was worth my suffering."

"It was."

"And I do not suppose you will tell me what had you so vexed at the picnic? You were behaving oddly before you met with her," Samuel replied, eyes narrowed. "What was the cause of that?"

Thomas shook his head. "It is nothing that you need to be worried about. I have resolved the matter now."

"I wonder how resolved it can be if you will not tell me about it."

Thomas sipped his drink to avoid responding to that admittedly fair statement. He ought to tell Samuel. They were friends and had been since boyhood, and Thomas had never lied to his friend.

This matter was deeply personal, though, and if Thomas were being honest with himself, he would admit that he was embarrassed—ashamed even—of how he had treated Lady Victoria earlier that evening. Even if he had resolved to speak to her about the rumours to determine the veracity of them, he really felt as though he had …

He had behaved coldly to her before he knew the truth, and resolving to make amends did not precisely mean that his earlier attitude had been acceptable.

"No?" Samuel asked.

Thomas said nothing and shook his head.

"Very well," Samuel said. "Keep your secrets. I shall find some of my own to keep from you."

Thomas only smiled at his friend and took another sip of his drink. He barely heard the comment as a bolt of shame shot through him. It had been cruel of him to treat Lady Victoria like he had and to approach the situation so bluntly. Even if she had been a cold-hearted rake, she was still a young lady, and she deserved to be treated like one.

He knew that he had hurt her, and even though Lady Victoria did not seem as though she would begrudge him for having his doubts, he could not be entirely sure. He remembered the tears flowing from her beautiful eyes and the way that her breath had caught as she looked at him. She had doubts, and he was the cause of them.

He was not uncertain if he could truly make them all right with the proposal, but he wanted her love more than he had ever wanted anything in his entire life.

In his mind's eye, he saw late mornings spent in bed together with their limbs wrapped around one another. He imagined seeing her soft, sleepy smile beside his face in the mornings. They would love one another with more passion than any lovers ever had.

Thomas thought about her soft skin and how she had felt so fragile as he had traced his fingers over those lovely curves. Her body had responded so well to his, blooming before him like a nymph.

He must make an effort to assuage her fears. He thought about Lady Victoria that first night when he had seen her in the theatre and the way that she had seemed so intent and focused on the performance happening before her. He ought to do something special for her.

"I am thinking of proposing," Thomas said.

"Oh?" Samuel asked. "Lady Victoria, I assume."

"Yes," Thomas replied. "It seems as though it is time, and I love Lady Victoria."

"How do you intend to get Lady Norwood"s approval?" Samuel asked. "It is obvious to everyone that she is hoping that Lady Victoria will marry Lord Ardenridge, although God help that woman if she does. He is a nice gentleman, but Lord Ardenridge is so … I hesitate to say that a man is dull."

"But he is," Thomas said.

"Indeed."

"I do not know how I will gain Lady Norwood's approval," Thomas replied. "I am sure there must be some way that I can do that, though. I know you suggested seeing if the law might aid me, but I wonder if I simply propose to Lady Victoria if Lady Norwood would refuse. Surely, it would not look very attractive if she did? What woman of the town would, upon receiving a perfectly respectable proposal from a wealthy gentleman, refuse?"

"One who is very contrary," Samuel replied, sounding tired. "I do support you, McCallister, but I must admit that this relationship between you and Lady Victoria has become far more difficult than I anticipated it to be. I assumed, with there being a contract, that it would be a simple matter. I had never imagined that there might be a wicked stepmother involved."

"Lady Victoria would likely not call her wicked," Thomas replied.

"I would say that is more grace than Lady Norwood deserves."

"As would I. However, I suspect that Lady Victoria is kinder than both of us. She would say that her stepmother is desperate, which I suppose is true enough. Still, I must do something for her."

Thomas longed to tell his friend that he had hurt Lady Victoria. He wanted some comfort, some encouragement, and perhaps just a small bit of sympathy for the difficult situation he had been in. He wanted Samuel to give him that familiar, empathetic smile and say, you did what you had to do.

Samuel was very good at comforting others. Despite the enjoyment he derived from being a lord with minor concerns and many entertainments, he was truly a better friend than Thomas often deserved.

And yet Thomas still felt as though perhaps he deserved to suffer his guilt. He deserved to suffer, just as Lady Victoria had during those moments when he had expressed doubts about her and shared his misgivings in the least respectful way he could have.

Truly, if she were still willing to be involved with him at all, it would be a miracle. It would be a show of grace that he did not deserve after saying such cruel things to her.

"I will think of something," Thomas said.

"Well, you may have the opportunity soon. I do not know if you have been told yet, but there is a festival in London, which Lord Ardenridge intends to invite everyone to join him. I hear that there are to be some performances, so it seems like the sort of occasion that Lady Victoria might enjoy, given her love of the theatre. Perhaps you might approach her there."

Perhaps he might. Thomas finished his drink and resisted the impulse to pour more. He had done something terrible, and even though Lady Victoria had said he was forgiven and that she still loved him, he still felt a burning need to make amends. He would need to figure out how to do that. And how to propose? Somehow, knowing that they were both in love seemed to have only compounded the issues between them. But they would manage to overcome them, just as so many couples had before.

"You know," Samuel continued, taking a conspiratorial tone, "there is something you could try. I am not certain how you would feel about having a proposal in a public place, but if you propose to Lady Victoria before a crowd, that will likely coax Lady Norwood to an agreement."

Thomas arched an eyebrow. "Do you think?"

"Surely, she would have a more difficult time denying you if there were witnesses to the proposal," Samuel replied slyly. "Everyone watching would assume that she had already granted you permission to wed Lady Victoria, and I cannot imagine that even Lady Norwood would want the embarrassment of admitting that was not the case."

"Why not? The embarrassment would not be hers."

Thomas himself was trying to decide if it would be, though.

"It would be yours," Samuel said, "but you also know how the ton adores its gossip. They would likely assume that Lady Norwood revoked her blessing, and she would have to answer too many questions about that. It is true that she has her friends among the ton, but others strongly distrust her. I think, McCallister, you may be able to trap her this way."

"Hm."

Would Lady Victoria like a proposal like that? As much as Thomas desired to marry the young lady, he also did not want her to feel as though the very proposal where he asked to wed her was made more with her stepmother's approval in mind than the lady's own delight at receiving it.

Lady Victoria liked the theatre, though. She would likely want something dramatic from him, something that was different from how other men proposed. Thomas stood and paced the floor beneath Samuel's watchful eyes. "I think you may be right. The more public and dramatic, the better," Thomas replied.

Samuel grinned. "Excellent."

"The festival is a good opportunity to do this. You are right," Thomas replied, "and I have no reason to believe that Lady Victoria will refuse."

Even if he had doubted her, she loved him still. She wanted to be with him, and she would agree to a marriage. Thomas told himself that and tried to bury his doubts deep within himself. He would simply need to show her just how devoted he could be to her and how well he understood her. For all Thomas' flaws, he knew that he understood and appreciated Lady Victoria far more than Lord Ardenridge did or ever could.

"I am not particularly good at this sort of thing," Thomas admitted, glancing at Samuel.

His friend laughed. "I know. That strikes me as strange, given how dramatic you are."

Thomas smiled ruefully. "Perhaps I ought to prepare a monologue of some kind. I think she would like that."

Lady Victoria favoured Marlowe's plays, but Thomas did not recall any of them being especially romantic. There was, perhaps, his Dido, Queen of Carthage. However, a play involving a distraught lover throwing herself on a funeral pyre was likely not the romantic image he wanted to evoke.

"Shakespeare," Thomas said. "No, it must be—A Midsummer Night's Dream. Yes, that is the performance where I first saw her. I must deliver the ring with a speech from that."

Samuel chuckled and turned in his chair, searching the shelves for the volume. "Well, that would not be my approach, but given that I am also trying to charm a woman of the theatre, it might behoove me to reconsider."

"It might."

Samuel retrieved a copy of the play from the shelf, and Thomas, practically bursting with excitement, joined him at the desk. "Shall we memorize some lines?"

Samuel grinned. "After you, McCallister."