Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Ursa

Zuri’s been gone longer than she should be. I try to be patient, because as tame as tonight has been compared to some of the things we’ve done, it’s still a significant jump forward in our relationship. I’m feeling a little unsteady, so it stands to reason that she and Alaric are as well. I suspect our progress forward will be all fits and starts, but it will be progress.

Gaeton and Beast finish with Isabelle a short time later, and that’s about as long as I’m willing to wait. I nudge Alaric up. “Let’s go find our little Zuri.”

He frowns. “She couldn’t have gotten lost. It’s a straight shot from here to the bathroom.”

“Maybe she needed some time to collect herself.” We’ve thrown a lot at her in a short time, and Alaric compounded it tonight with his declaration.

He loves me.

I admitted that I love him, too.

And the sky didn’t fall. We’re still standing, still looking at a future that’s hopeful and filled with something just for me. Someone just for me. Two someones.

I find I’m smiling as we make our way to the hall that houses the bathrooms. I give Alaric’s hand a squeeze. “Go get her.”

He returns a few seconds later, a frown pulling his brows together. “The bathroom’s empty.”

Alarm bells peal through my mind. Sometimes it’s easy to forget that we’re rubbing shoulders with enemies in the Underworld because it’s neutral territory, but really it’s only the threat of Hades that stops people from making moves here. If someone took her…

She could be hurt right now. Scared. She could be fucking dead.

I shove the thoughts down. There’s no reason to worry. Maybe those things would be a risk somewhere else, but not here. This is the Underworld. Hades rules here with an iron fist. There is absolutely no chance that she’s come to harm within this building, no matter what my fears are clamoring.

But I still gather up my dress so I can take longer strides as I head back into the public playroom. Zuri couldn’t have come back this way without us seeing her. Even knowing that, I pause and survey the room. It’s crowded enough that it takes a few moments to confirm what I already know. She’s not here.

I glance at Alaric. His worry comes off him in waves, but I can’t reassure him because I don’t know for sure that it’s not warranted. Hades rarely spends time on the floor these days, preferring to let his partners and employees run the night to night operations. “It will be quicker to figure out where she is if we have access to the security cameras.” Something I can’t demand on my own, no matter my status. I have to request it, and nicely, or Hades will deny me out of spite. Though he’s gone a little soft in his honeymoon stage with Hercules. He might simply help. I can’t bargain Zuri’s potential safety on it, though. Better to play this softer.

I lead the way out of the room. Thankfully, Allecto is still on duty. I pause. “Has Zuri come this way?”

Allecto shakes her head. “No. I haven’t seen her.”

I suspected as much—she’d have to have come through the public playroom to get through this door—but it bears asking all the same. I take a deep breath, trying to smother the flutter of panic in my stomach. “I seem to have misplaced my submissive.”

She pushes off the wall, the slouch disappearing from her posture. “Give me two minutes.”

It’s two minutes longer than I’d like, but I nod. This isn’t my territory. I have to take my lead from Hades’s people.

Alaric is practically vibrating at my side as we watch Allecto pull out her phone and type out something. He turns to me. “Something’s wrong.”

Something is definitely wrong, but I can’t help trying to comfort him. To comfort myself. “We don’t know that.”

“Yes, we fucking do.”

Allecto looks up. “Hades will meet you in his office. You know the way.”

“Thank you.” I turn and stride through the lounge, not caring that I am moving too fast, that I’m giving myself away. Alaric’s right. Something is wrong.

I have to stop outside Hades’s office and collect myself. No matter how rattled I am right now, I cannot let my emotions get the better of me. He is another territory leader and appearances are everything. I take a slow breath, all too aware of Alaric’s impatience. “Okay.”

He opens the door and moves aside to let me precede him into the room. Hades leans against his desk instead of occupying his customary position behind it, which might be enough to give me pause if I hadn’t already muscled all my messy feelings down deep. “Where is Zurielle?”

Hades crosses his arms over his chest and waits for Alaric to close the door. “I am formally apologizing.”

Oh no. No, no, no, no. I keep my spine straight through sheer force of will. “You’re going to have to explain what you’re apologizing for first.”

He motions at the chairs in front of him. “Sit.”

“I don’t think I will.”

Hades sighs. “Zurielle is gone.”

For one horrific moment, I think he means she’s dead. “What?” I’ve never seen Hades look so uncomfortable, but I can’t bring myself to enjoy the experience; not when he’s dragging this out. I clench my fists. “Where the hell is she, Hades?”

At last he shakes his head. “Her sisters came for her. I was not informed of this fact, and Hercules took it upon himself to spirit her out of the building before anyone knew it was happening.” He lifts his head and stares me straight in the eyes. “I promise you that punishment will be delivered accordingly, but under no circumstances will I hand him over.”

The words are all in the correct order, but they barely penetrate. “I…” Alaric moves up and takes my hand. He’s still behind me, offering silent support even though I can feel him shaking. I clear my throat. “She still had several days left on her contract.”

“I am aware.” Another sigh. “Of course, all the money will be returned to you.” He flicks a glance at Alaric. “I’m willing to lift the prohibition for a Carver City resident paying the balance of his debt since Zurielle obviously intended for a portion of the money to be paid there.”

“I don’t want it. Pay off Alaric’s debt and ensure she gets the rest.” The words are out before I can think them through, but thinking is something that’s incredibly difficult right now. Zuri left. She wasn’t taken. Hercules might have “spirited her out” but he’s too much a puppy dog to abduct her. No, she chose this.

She chose to leave us.

Every breath feels like knives in my lungs, but my voice is remarkably normal when I find it. “She pleased me well. See that she gets her money.”

Hades lifts his brows, but finally nods. “As for Hercules—”

“I trust you to take care of it.” I have to get out of here. I can feel my composure cracking. I can’t be in the Underworld when I lose control. I manage a smile. “If that’s all?”

He’s watching me so closely, I know I’m not convincing him, but Hades finally nods. “As I said, you have my utmost apologies. This happened under my watch and it shouldn’t have.”

“You’re right. It shouldn’t have. I expect recompense beyond you playing with your boyfriend.” I turn and stalk out the door, every step making the pain in my chest spike higher.

I don’t remember what happens next. I should remember. I am the one in control, the one that my people lean on. I can’t afford to buckle, no matter how much it hurts to know that someone I care about deeply left me.

It seems like one moment we’re in the entranceway to the Underworld and the next we’re back at my apartment. Alaric leads me through the door, keeping a firm hold on my hand. I stare down at our interlaced fingers. “You should go, too.”

He stops short and looks at me. “What?”

I try to stifle the words, try to keep control, but I can’t seem to stop myself. “You love her. She’ll have you without me in the picture. You should go. Be happy. Have babies and the white picket fence you won’t admit you want.”

Alaric takes my shoulder, gripping me nearly hard enough to hurt. “Ursa.”

“What?”

“Shut the fuck up.”

I blink at him. “What did you just say to me?”

“You heard me.” He glares down at me. “You don’t think that I’m hurting because she left? I fucking am. But Zuri made her choice, and I made mine the second I fell in love with you. This is the life I want, and hell yes, I want her in it, but I want you. Full stop. With or without her in it, I want a life with you.”

To my horror, my lower lip quivers. “I wanted her with us.”

His expression softens. “I know. I did, too.” Slowly, as if he’s expecting me to reject him, Alaric pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me. “But we don’t know for sure that she left of her own will. We could—”

“No.” I speak against his chest. I can’t quite bring myself to lift my head. “No. If she was taken, Hades wouldn’t apologize like he did. He would have mobilized his people to get her back in order to preserve his reputation.”

Alaric is so tense, he might as well be made of stone. “You’re right. I fucking hate that you’re right.”

“She left.” It hurts to say the words. I fight to be so hard, so untouchable, and this slip of a girl knocked me astray in the course of a few days. I’ve seen it happen to others, of course, but I never thought I’d be struck down by something as mundane as love. “We will respect her choice.”

“But—”

“No.” I finally lift my head. “No, Alaric. She made her choice, and we will respect it.”

He holds me tighter. “What about your revenge?”

Funny, but I hadn’t even thought about my revenge until now. I wanted to make Triton twist and squirm and feel even a portion of the agony he put me through. It all feels so fucking hollow right now. “I don’t know.” I reach up and cup his face. “I’m sorry. I should be strong for you and—”

“No.” He pulls me closer yet, holding me as if he’s afraid I might shatter into a million pieces if he lets go. I’m not sure he’s wrong. “No,” Alaric repeats. “You’ve been my rock for as long as I’ve known you. You don’t have to be strong right now. I can be strong for both of us.”

I don’t know how to let go, but I don’t seem to have a choice right now. “I just met her. I shouldn’t be this twisted up over a near-stranger.”

“Zuri has a way of getting beneath a person’s skin.” His smile holds no joy. “Let’s go to bed. Maybe things will look different in the morning.”

They won’t, though. When the sun rises, the facts will remain the same. Zuri chose to walk away before the contract was up rather than be with us another minute. I thought she was truly considering a future with us, but obviously something changed. Or perhaps I never had a good read on her to begin with. I don’t know. I won’t find any answers tonight, though.

It feels strange to get ready for bed with Alaric beside me. To brush our teeth and undress. To wrap my hair and climb into bed with another person. I lie there, hurting and raw and unable to vocalize what I need. Somehow, he knows.

Alaric tucks me against his chest and wraps his arms around me. He holds me close, using his body to brace mine. “I have you, Ursa. I love you.”

For the first time in as long as I can remember, my walls crumble away to dust. The first tear catches me by surprise, but more quickly follow. I don’t say a word. I don’t think I can.

Through it all, Alaric holds me and strokes my back with a hand. He seems to know that I can’t take any verbal reassurance right now, that I’m already well past my comfort zone with showing him this breakdown. He just…holds me. Just weathers the storm of my emotions even though he’s in the midst of his own hurt.

He loves her, too.

I give a weak, wet laugh. “I love her.”

“I know,” he murmurs against my temple. “I know.”

We stay like that for a long time, sharing a kind of comfort that has nothing to do with sex. The world still hasn’t steadied when my tears finally dry, a hollow feeling taking up residence in my chest. If the circumstances were any different, I would take my people and go after Zuri and bring her back. I would fight Triton for her. I would fight the entire world for her.

If not for the fact that Zuri made the choice to walk away.

I love her enough to respect that choice, to not chase after her and try to influence it.

But, gods, it hurts so much to stand back and let her flee the life we could have had.