Chapter 21

Chapter 21

Alaric

I’m doing a shit job of comforting Zuri. It’s like following the steps to a dance I’ve never heard of, and I’m fumbling it. I take a deep breath. “Look, I’m not good at this.”

“I never would have guessed.” She arches one of those perfectly shaped brows. “Though you’re going to have to be more specific about what you mean this time.”

That startles a chuckle out of me. “You know, you always surprise me when you slide in the knife like that.”

Zuri blinks those big dark eyes. “I’m sure I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

I almost let it go, but there’s still something brittle in her that I can’t leave alone. “I’ve been on my own since I was a teenager. My mom was…” How to describe Maura Paine. “She’s one of those people that shouldn’t have had kids. She was driven out of Sabine Valley when she chose my father over her family, and then the bastard barely stuck around long enough to knock her up. He left her alone to raise me in a city that wasn’t hers.”

“I’m sorry.”

I wave that away. “I don’t want your pity. I’m just trying to explain. I was on my own a lot growing up, and I learned that the best person to look out for what I wanted was me. I made my way well enough, but when she asked me to do this one thing that might make her happy, that might get her back in with her family…” I shrug. “I did it, even though it was reckless and dangerous. I didn’t look for another way to make that money. I wanted the task complete and her out of my life, so I went the fastest route to the money. And I paid the price.”

She wraps her arms around herself. We’re standing here shivering in the bathroom while the tub fills. This is ridiculous. I hold out a hand. “Come here, Zuri.”

I don’t really expect her to obey. She’s told me she hates me more times in the last two days than I want to count. She won’t forgive me, and I can’t really claim I deserve her forgiveness. Why the hell would she accept this from me?

But Zuri finally slips her hand into mine and lets me tug her close and wrap my arms around her. We’re naked and I can’t quite stifle my physical response, but this isn’t about sex right now. “I’m an asshole, Zuri. I’m never not going to be an asshole. But I regret that you got hurt in the process, and that’s the truth.”

She carefully lays her cheek against my chest. “I’m still angry, but I can’t pretend it’s just because you lied.” She gives a shuddery little sigh that’s too close to a sob for my liking. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.”

I rest my chin on her head. “I don’t think Ursa plans to just kick you to the curb without helping you out a little. Even if she does, I’ll make sure you land on your feet.” It hurts to say the words. It’s only been two days with this woman, but I feel like we’ve shown each other more truths in the last forty-eight hours than we did the entire time we were dancing around that bullshit back in Olympus. Zuri isn’t only a sweet, biddable daughter, wreathed in innocence. She’s strong and a little mean and rolls with the punches better than I could have imagined. I like her.

I like her more than I could have anticipated.

Ursa walks back into the room, her hair hidden beneath a floral head wrap and a silky purple robe tied around her body. She arches an eyebrow at me. “The tub’s half full. Get in, darlings.”

I guide Zuri up the few steps and into the tub. The water is hot enough to make my breath hiss out, but after the first shock of it, it feels amazing. Maybe I should let go of her, but I pull her down into my lap as I settle. I half expect Zuri to tell me where to shove it, but she settles back against me with a little sigh.

Ursa gives us a long look. “You were both very serious when I came back in here.”

Zuri tenses, but I answer first. “I told her that we wouldn’t just kick her to the curb as soon as the seventh day is finished. Even with all that money, she’s in a new city where she doesn’t know anyone. The very least we can do is make sure she gets where she’s going or help her find a place in Carver City if she’s staying here.” I can’t quite stop myself from holding Zuri closer. Fuck, I’m not ready to let her go.

Five days. Really, more than five days because we still have tonight. In the past, a week has been more than enough time for me to get anyone out of my system. Working at the Underworld, having my deal with Hades, it was like heaven the first few years. I loved the work, loved scening and fucking the most powerful and beautiful people in Carver City. It wasn’t until later that the novelty started to wear thin. I have no qualms with playing the delightful toy, but that’s all I was to them. That’s all I’d ever be.

Until Ursa. It started off as simply sex with her, just like with everyone else, but somewhere along the way we both forgot to maintain a careful distance. Somewhere along the way, we fell for each other.

Something strange passes over Ursa’s face, but she finally nods. “Of course we’ll see Zurielle safely to wherever she’s landing. It’s no hardship.”

“Thank you.” I don’t have to see Zuri’s face to know that she’s speaking through her teeth. At a faint nod from Ursa, I move Zuri, shifting her around until she’s straddling me. She allows it, but she’s frowning as she settles back onto my lap. “What are you doing?”

“You’re unhappy.”

“Thank you for telling me how I feel.”

I kind of enjoy the fact that she saves this tartness just for me. Ursa gets the sweet and I get the sour, and I like Zuri’s duality on that note a whole hell of a lot. I lean back a little against the jets and rest my hands on her hips. “Last night, you couldn’t wait for this week to be over and for you to be free of us. Now you tense up every time we bring it up.”

“Stop it, Alaric.”

“I haven’t done anything.”

She presses her hands to my chest but doesn’t put any force behind it. Still, there’s something akin to panic written across her features. “You have my body for the next five and a half days. Be content with that.”

“Zuri—”

“That’s enough, lover.”

Zuri wiggles out of my hold and practically launches herself from the bath. She accepts the towel Ursa wraps around her and then dodges her touch, too. “I’m going to take a shower in the spare room.”

“Wait, I—” I bite back the rest of my words at Ursa’s sharp look. We both watch Zuri stride out of the bathroom in silence. I start to stand, but Ursa motions me back down.

“You need a longer soak or you’re going to be even stiffer later.” She props her hip on the counter and looks down at me. “What was that?”

“What was what?”

“Don’t play coy with me. Last night, you couldn’t get away from her fast enough and now you’re practically begging for this to extend past the week. She didn’t change her feelings on this. You did. I was never going to let the girl drown once we were done with her and you know it.”

Yeah, I did know it. Ursa can be cruel and manipulative and downright vicious when the situation calls for it, but she doesn’t harm innocents for the sake of doing it. What we’ve done to Zuri can be called harm, though, so I don’t know where her line is any more. “I wanted you to say it. I know you’ll keep your word.”

“Do you?” She crosses her arms under her breasts. “I think you’re not being honest with yourself.”

“I’m always honest with myself.” Even to my ears, my protest sounds weak as hell.

“Tell me what you want, Alaric.” She says it quietly, a request more than a command.

Because of that, I’m helpless to resist. “I want you.” I swallow hard. “And I want to keep her.”

Ursa shakes her head, looking tired in a way I’ve never seen before. Tired in a way she’s never let me see. “You’re asking for the moon, lover. She might enjoy what we do, but she’s not for keeping. Not for people like us.”

My heart aches. I hold out my hand. “Join me?”

For a moment, I think she might say no, but she finally shrugs out of the robe and climbs into the bath with me, settling astride my lap. I draw her down for a kiss, and she allows it for a few beats before she leans back, kisses my forehead, and moves to the seat across from me. “Some things you can’t charm your way out of—or into. This situation is one of them.”

I want to fire back an argument, but I make myself slow down enough to consider her words. To consider what she has and hasn’t said. “You want to keep her, too.”

For the first time since I met her, Ursa won’t quite meet my eyes. “I meant what I said. That girl has been protected and cosseted her entire life. Even Triton knew enough to shield her from the darker aspects of what he does. She’d hate it here if we tried to keep her. She’d hate us.”

“You can’t know that.”

“I do know that.” She gives a smile that’s a shadow of her normal one. “There are two kinds of people in this world. Those that flourish in the shadows—and those that suffocate in them. We’re the former. That girl is the latter. Trying to keep her would be cruel and selfish, and I may be ruthless to a fault, but even I have to draw the line somewhere. She’ll walk from this with a good story about her dance on the dark side, and then she’ll return to the light and marry some nice normal person who doesn’t have an earned reputation for drowning her victims.” She looks at me. “And one who doesn’t lie, cheat, and steal in order to further his own goals.”

“Ouch.”

“I don’t say it to hurt you. I say it because it’s truth—for both of us.”

She’s not wrong, but… “That’s not the full story, though.” I lean forward and stroke her knees under the water. “If she were that sunny, she wouldn’t happily step to every line we draw in the sand. She’s fierce, Ursa. Fiercer than I could have imagined.”

She gives me a long look, something vulnerable lingering in her dark eyes. “Are you sure you aren’t saying you want to keep her, rather than we want to?”

I sit back abruptly. In all the time I’ve known Ursa, she’s never once shied away from what she wants, whether it’s people, possessions, or territory. She’s bold and ruthless, and if she dresses it up in a kind exterior, that just makes her better at accomplishing her goals. Why is she balking now? “You want her.” I say it slowly. “I see the way you look at her.”

“We’re not talking about me. You’re the one that follows her around with hearts in your eyes.”

I push down my instinctive urge to defend myself. No matter if I want to admit it or not, my feelings for Zurielle are complicated in the extreme. Realizing that she’s fiercer than I could have dreamed only makes them more complicated. Before, I felt bad for dragging a near-innocent into this mess, daughter of Triton or no. Now? She could be one of us. I know it, and if I know it, then Ursa’s already considered it. I don’t understand her hesitation.

“Surely you can see that she worships the ground you walk on.” I keep pressing, even when the set of Ursa’s shoulders warns me off. We have to talk about this. We have to talk about something beyond fucking.“She wants to stay, Ursa. What’s so wrong with letting this extend past a week?”

“That’s your problem, Alaric.” She stands abruptly, water cascading down her breasts and stomach and hips. She looks like Aphrodite emerging from the sea, and my body responds despite the fact that we’re in the middle of a careful non-argument. Even now, she’s holding me at a distance. The only change is that I am painfully aware of the space remaining between us. Will she ever let me in? I had assumed we’d slip into something resembling a normal relationship once I was free. Now I’m not so sure.

Ursa’s expression is that careful smile that doesn’t reach her eyes. “You let selfish wants motivate you without thinking things through. You want her. You don’t care about her wants or needs in this situation, only yours. That’s always been your problem.”

I flinch. She’s not wrong, but in all my time of knowing her, she’s never cut me down verbally quite so neatly. Again, I can’t help pushing. I am as selfish as she claims, but she’s also dodging her feelings on this whole subject. She’s shutting me out and I hate it. “I never expected you to be a coward.”

Ursa steps out of the tub and dries off with one of her oversized fluffy towels. She doesn’t look at me as she takes her time rubbing lotion into her skin. It’s not until she’s shrugged back into her robe that she gives me her attention, as if she needs that little bit of barrier between us. It doesn’t make a damn bit of sense to me.

I’m right here. “Ursa, talk to me. Let me in.” I don’t really mean to blurt out the words, but I have the sudden fear that if she walks out of this conversation right now, it will harm something fragile in our fledgling relationship. “Please.”

She shakes her head slowly. “That girl isn’t for us.” She turns and walks to the door, pausing to look over her shoulder. I’ve never seen her look so closed down. “But if you want her that badly, you’re more than free to go when she goes.”