Chapter 14

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

S ophia was staring out the windows in her chamber, completely unaware of how long she had been there. She blinked at the children sword-fighting in the puddles of water and dirt in the courtyard below. The blackbirds with white stripes on their feathers teased her as they flew with the wind, battling every abomination in nature that tried to stifle their flight. She envied the leaves' ability to dance in unison. She wished to be as free as they were.

It had been two days since Kendrick had spoken down to her so harshly. She wondered if there was even the smallest chance she would survive alone in the MacNeil keep. She missed her Mama, her sisters, her Papa. Even Reed, who had been of great company, seemed to have forgotten his way to the keep.

And Kendrick… well, she simply refused to cross paths with him again. If she gave him another chance to behave so badly towards her, she feared she might have to strangle the arrogance out of him.

Lorena was right after all; the Laird really was a cold brute. She groaned as she thought to herself, What kind of a lad does nae even try to see his bride the day before his wedding?

"Mistress," her maidservant called to her. "The ribbons and flowers have arrived. Where should I put them?"

Sophia hissed a sigh and moved away from the window. "Ye may place them on the shelf. I will fix them myself.

"Aye, mistress." The maidservant looked as though she had a word in her throat that she was hesitant to speak.

"Is there anything else?" Sophia asked the obnoxious-looking girl.

"Nae, mistress. I can just imagine it…" She opened her lips to a white pair of teeth, gleaming. "Ye will be really beautiful on yer wedding day."

Sophia was saddened she could not share in the girl's genuine optimism. "I do nae wish to be beautiful. I just want it done with." Then, she noticed the girl's smile sour like milk. "Ach, but I do appreciate yer compliment."

The girl smiled again, this time much wider. She smiled like Emilea did when she was a girl, and it only reminded Sophia how much she missed her many gossips and complaints. She missed Lorena's taunts, her Mama's nagging, and her Papa's many instructions.

Aye, I will surely die of loneliness in this castle.

She reached for the handbasket the maidservant had brought up, folded over it, and began inspecting it. Two handfuls of roses, ribbons for her hair, and a note from her Mama.

She inhaled deeply the smell of the roses and imagined herself wearing a gown that would fit a queen walking down the aisle to Kendrick. She pictured loving smiles on their faces as they exchanged their vows and received the blessings of the priest.

It was fruitless. Perhaps, if Kendrick liked her even the smallest bit, the day would be met with excitement instead of dread. She picked up her Mama's note—a yellow card with a few words scribbled upon it in black ink.

Dear Sophia,

How are you, my love? I hope your wedding preparations are going well.

Your sisters and I miss you very dearly.

I can hardly wait to see you in your wedding dress.

Your mother,

Blair MacNeil

Oh, how she wanted to cry! That was… until she realized the maidservant still hadn't left. She refrained from weeping and swallowed her tears. "Can ye ride a horse?"

"Nae, mistress." The girl averted her gaze to her feet. "I've never ridden one."

Sophia smiled. "Would ye like to go on a ride with me?"

The girl raised her head back up quickly. Sophia surmised the girl must've been filled with joy.

"I must refuse ye, mistress," the girl said to Sophia's disappointment. "I am quite terrified of horses. My brother, older by four seasons, fell off one when he was but a wee lad. He lost use of his legs from then." The maidservant's eyes were beginning to mist over.

Heavens above! Sophia felt as though her own troubles paled in comparison. She came up with a plan to cheer them both up. "Would ye go to the mountains with me instead? We could pick some herbs."

The girl quickly wiped off her tears, "Aye, mistress. I would be delighted to accompany ye."

"Go on, then. Put yer aprons away and meet me down the stairs."

"All right, mistress."

Joyfully, the maidservant skipped out of Sophia's room like a little rabbit. Her olive skin was bright as day and her yellow hair was tied beneath her bonnet. She appeared to be just as small as Sophia, even thinner still. Her skirts freely swept against the ground as she walked.

When Sophia and the maidservant were ready to leave the castle, one of Kendrick's men blocked their path. "Ye must forgive me, mistress. ‘Tis the Laird's order that I dinnae let ye leave the keep alone."

Sophia looked up to the giant-sized warrior. His face appeared to be made of stone. His plaid was so large, she could fashion two gowns out of it. "Where is the Laird?"

"He is in the great hall, mistress," The giant replied. "He is in a meeting."

Sophia experienced a slight sense of joy. Kendrick was concerned about her safety. He would not have asked one of his guards to protect her if he was not, she figured. "Ye may come along then," Sophia told the soldier, and she dragged the maidservant along with her.

When they reached the Highlands, she could see the delight on the girl's face. Sophia herself was not ignorant to the bounties the mountain had to offer.

She took a long, deep breath and inhaled the air's fresh, floral scent. They were encircled by icy, wet rocks. The mountain was adorned with beautiful herbs and blooms of various colors. The wind howled along the hills, rustling the plant leaves and challenging the birds' chirping and humming with its beauty.

"This is home ," Sophia whispered.

"Mistress, what did ye say?"

Sophia smiled; she had not realized she had let it slip out. "This is like a second home to me." They rode further, to the side of the mountains where her sisters had found her, the day they announced the Laird's feast.

"Ye ken," Sophia said, "I've missed this mountain. The day I came to the castle was the last day I ever visited here." There was no response. "Are ye listening?" Sophia turned to find the maidservant had wandered off to observe the mountains from their seat in the valley. She grinned and continued down the path in between the trees.

She began to move forward but halted when she spotted a surprising visitor.

The keep's healer.

"Sir!" she called out to the old man who was obviously very occupied. She started to make her way to him through the bushes that were concealing almost all of him.

"Lass." The old healer noticed her approaching. "What are ye doing here?"

"I should be asking the same, sir," she replied when she reached him.

The man straightened himself up, bending his back from side to side. "As ye can see, I came to fetch some herbs."

"Herbs?" It was pretty clear from the pack filled with different plants in front of her that he was not lying. "I haven't seen ye in these parts before."

"Ye speak as though the mountains belong to ye, lass."

"Nae, sir, but I used to fetch herbs from this mountain all the time." She inspected his sack of plants. "Often, too."

"I see."

"What are these plants that ye have picked?" Sophia plucked free a blossoming purple flower with a stem. It was rather strange looking. "I've seen them very often but never thought them useful."

The man snatched the plant from her hands and placed it back into the pack. "They're devil claws, lass. Very precious herbs."

"What're they used for?"

"They soothe pain. Very quickly too, I must say."

"That is quite interesting." Sophia forced a slow smile. "You must pardon my arrogance—I failed to ask yer name the other evening."

"Lewis Fraser," he answered, then continued with picking his herbs.

Sophia and Lewis spent the rest of the afternoon gathering herbs. She actually spent the majority of her time asking questions about them and the old healer spent most of his time educatingher. Sophia instructed the warrior and maidservant not to follow her and they waited for them quietly under one of the pine trees.

They had finished their herb hunt and were on their way to the castle when Sophia remembered something...

She had not been able to figure out the mystery behind the passing of Lady MacNeil.

"Sir…" She broke the silence as they made their way back to the castle. "That evening in the infirmary, when I met ye for the first time... ye happened to have said something fascinating."

"What was that, lass?"

"About Lady MacNeil and some uncertainty around her death. How did she pass?"

"I told ye, lass. ‘Tis nae my place to tell ye."

"I am to be the new Lady, I must ken what really happened." She held his hand and squeezed onto it. "Please."

Lewis took a hesitant breath. "The woman was murdered. She did nae die in her sleep like it is rumored around the castle."

" Murdered ?" Sophia had not realized she has gasped until the maidservant and guard walking in front turned to her. She wondered if the healer knew the weight of his words. If the Lady MacNeil was murdered, why did the Laird himself conceal it from the clan? She also wondered if the previous laird had been under a threat, and how that affected Kendrick. "By whom? Surely, someone must've seen the killer?"

"I cannae tell ye more, lass," the old man told Sophia. "Ye must never speak about it to anyone."

"The Laird… does he ken? That his mother was—"

"Sophia," a faraway voice called. She focused on the shadowy figure approaching them. She could see that it was Reed as he got closer, and his gaze pierced hers. He seemed restless, having shrugged off his sling, so he moved more freely as he darted towards them.

"Did I frighten ye? I'm sorry." Reed gently touched her arm and greeted Lewis.

"Of course nae, Reed." She batted his good shoulder. "Tis so good to see ye."

"I must apologize for nae visiting. I thought it'd be best if I stayed away for a few days."

"I must say, yer absence did nae go unnoticed," Sophia frowned at him. "It has been quiet in the keep."

"So… ye missed me?"

"A wee bit, nae too much," she teased. "Yer arm, how does it feel?"

Reed swung his arm back and forth. "All better. ‘Tis all thanks to ye."

"That won't do, Reed. I must check it when we reach the keep."

"Dinnae suggest such a thing, Sophia. Yemay tempt me to break my arm again once ‘tis healed so that I can spend more time with ye."

"Cease yer teasing," she said, but a laugh escaped her lips before she could stop it. "I have to check how much it has healed."

"Aye, mistress," he chanted sarcastically.

"I will leave ye from here, lass," Lewis interrupted. "I've to see an old friend further in the valley."

"Do ye need company?" Sophia asked. "I can ask him," she turned to look at the guard and back to the old man, "to accompany ye."

"Tis fine, lass. I can go on my own."

"Stay safe, Lewis. We'll see ye at the castle when ye return."

Sophia was a little disappointed when they arrived at the dimly lit entrance to the keep and realized their walk back had come to an end. She secretly wished it had lasted a little longer, enjoying the fresh air that made her feel alive and distracted her from her problems. The guard and maidservant left, leaving her and Reed alone.

"Reed, ye should go up first," she sighed. "I'll join ye shortly."

"Do ye need my help?"

"Nae, wait in front of my chambers."

Reed nodded and walked away while Sophia departed to inspect her wedding preparations.

Suddenly, she ran into Kendrick as she was making her way back to her room.

"Milaird," she bowed.

Kendrick on the other hand was motionless. Not blinking once as he stared at her. Sophia decided she would hold her composure; she would not run to greet him further; she would not even say another word to him.

So, with a quick bow and without looking back at him a second time, she passed him and proceeded to her chambers, no matter how desperately she desired to look into his eyes.

There is no need drowning him with affection he will never acknowledge. ‘ Tis preferable this way. Only our obligations as Laird and Lady will bind us. Only duties… and nothing else.

Sophia .

Kendrick wanted to call her back and apologize for his harshness. His lips, though, would not part. His tongue wasn't helping either. He was being carried by his remorse like clouds across the sky. He had done irreparable damage to her. Surely , he had.

The very next afternoon, they would say "I do" and bind their souls forever before their clan members and God. They would swear to love each other until their last days. The priest's blessing would be bestowed upon them.

He couldn't let the beginning of their lives together be marred by such bitterness. He needed to make things right. He had to. Since he was already betrothed to her, which was his worst nightmare, he could at least make the best of it. If his legs refused to cooperate, he would crawl to her. If his lips were sealed, he would scream without saying anything.

Aye, I shall ask her to forgive me.

He mustered his strength and followed the path to Sophia's room.

The door to her room was halfway open when he reached it. He was about to enter when he overheard Sophia and Reed speaking. Both of them were laughing.

In her room… alone.

Their smiles suggested they were enjoying each other's company. Even worse, they completely ignored him as he stood at the door. His muscles tightened and he could feel his nostrils flare.

How can they laugh so freely? How can Sophia be enjoying Reed's presence so much?

Kendrick told himself that he should have been the one. It should have been him sitting beside her. It should have been him making her laugh so wildly. He should be the only one with the right to observe her smile. Not Reed.

He was a coward for fleeing his own betrothed like a child. A spineless, little lad. But he decided right then and there that that would be the last night anyone else would take his place. He would be truthful with her, but he would wait to tell her about Catherine until he was certain of her condition.

And he would eventually concede that he loved Sophia.

He loved her, for goodness' sake. But that night, he accepted the emotion for the first time in his life.

"Milaird," Sophia suddenly announced, startling him. He had almost forgotten he was standing in her doorframe.

"Sophia." He had compelled himself to intonate her name. As for Reed, he would disregard his presence. Undoubtedly, no man would share a smile with another man who was blatantly charming with his bride-to-be.

"Are ye alright, milaird?" Sophia's brow furrowed. "Yer face… it's reddening and yer… glaring."

Glaring ?

In Kendrick's opinion, he really did not glare at them. His blood was almost boiling— almost —but he would never glare.

"I have to take my leave, now," Reed rolled off the edge of Sophia's bed where he was seated. His embarrassing grin as he passed Kendrick made it apparent that he agreed with her.

"Are ye coming in, milaird?" Sophia asked him.

"Aye," Kendrick entered the room, enjoying the sweet scent of lavender that filled his nose. "How have ye been?"

"I've been better, I suppose."

"Sophia." He lowered himself into the spot where Reed had sat, noticing her sheets had been changed from the rose embroidery he saw the night he had brought her to the room. It was now the color of a meadow with a blanket of blue linen folded neatly atop it. "There is something I must share with ye."

"I will be sure to listen, milaird."

The redness of her dress complimented her pale skin. The design of wild leaves at the top of her corset highlighted her bosom and it was stirring dangerous feelings inside of him. Sophia's eyes were warmer than they had been earlier in the hallway—as warm as he remembered them to be.

They were sad, nonetheless.