He’s big and grumpy. A dirty-talking Santa with muscles galore.

And now I’m snowed in with him for Christmas.

I love Christmas, but after my sister stole my dream winter wedding and my ex, it’s proving difficult to be festive this year.

I’m swallowing my pride, along with copious amounts of ‘nog and toddies, playing the part of a good little elf to make sure she gets the wedding of her (my?) dreams.

But there’s only so much faux cheer a girl can muster. And the holly berry on top of it all is the surprise plus-one my family throws at me. Good grief. I love Christmas, but this man loves Christmas.

After he becomes violently ill from his homemade eggnog during our “romantic” one-horse open sleigh ride, Rudolph the geriatric Clydesdale spooks, galloping into the forest with me in tow.

Just when I think it can’t get any worse, it does.

The sled collides with a log, sending me airborne. Rudolph abandons me. And the skies unleash a white Christmas not even Bing Crosby could dream of.

It will be a Christmas miracle if I make it out alive.

Fortunately, I find a cabin before frostbite sets in. But it comes with one big, grumpy, tattooed problem: A mountain man dressed like Saint Nick. And he’s looking at me like he’s picked a spot on the naughty list just for me.

I like it more than I should. I like him more than I should. I never thought I’d say this…

But I want Cole for Christmas.