28. Mai

My phone rang. Unknown number. Jem's face had gone hard. He nodded at me. If it was Seth, maybe I could work out where he was or if he knew where I was. I took a deep breath.

"Hello?"

"Mai, girlie!" Wally's voice floated out of the phone.

I watched as Jem smiled at me, then left the room, shutting the door behind him.

"I'm at the bar with Sofia, and we're dying to hear all the gossip about last night! Why don't you make an escape from the tower and come have lunch with us?"

I sighed, thinking. So much had happened since last night; too much to digest right now. I might as well go get something to eat.

"Sure, just let me have a shower first."

I walked into Bottley Bar an hour later. I'd taken time in the shower to think about me and Ryan, and I'd decided I didn't want to think about me and Ryan. I would talk to him, but not anytime soon. Let him stew in his back-stabbing, laptop-hacking office.

Wally and Sofia were sitting in a booth toward the back of the room. It was quiet, only a couple having lunch and a businessman working on his laptop near the window.

"Hey, Mai!" Sofia called, waving at me.

"Well?" Wally demanded as soon as I slid onto the seat next to Sofia. "We want to hear everything. What did you wear, where did you go, what did you eat, what did he say?"

I shrugged, really not keen to talk about last night. "We ate in, actually. Ryan cooked steak at his place."

"You had a date with all the Shaw brothers?" Sofia asked, her eyes bugging out.

"Oo-ee! That would have been one hell of a date!" Wally said, picking up a napkin and fanning himself.

"No! Just Ryan. The others were all out."

"So? How did it go? Did you manage to leave all the history at the door?"

"Mmmm," I muttered. "Maybe too well."

Sofia and Wally stared at me.

"Is she saying what I think she's saying?" Wally asked Sofia. "‘Coz if she is, I'm gonna lose it and start squealing!"

"I've got this," she replied to him, then turned to me. "Mai, look at me."

I raised my eyes to meet hers.

"She's definitely looking tired. Tired and worn out. Hell, Mai, we thought you'd have a nice dinner, not fuck his brains out. You did fuck his brains out, right?"

"It's not what you think." Okay, it was exactly what they thought. "We just got a bit carried away with the whole escape-from-who-we-are thing for the night. Trust me, Ryan brought me crashing back to reality this morning."

"That boy," Wally tutted. "He never did know how to keep a good thing."

"I need advice. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should leave and try to start again someplace new. It all feels too much here."

"You know," Wally replied, a glint in his eyes, "we can only really give advice if we know the whole story. You're gonna have to spill."

I sighed. I knew he was right. "Swear to me on Thomas's doctorate that you'll keep this between us. I don't need the whole Pack knowing about it."

Wally hooked my pinkie with his and made a pinkie swear. Sofia, grinning, did the same.

"Okay, tell us everything!"

So, I did. I filled Sofia in on my life after I left the Pack. I told them about my date with Ryan, the mind-blowing sex, then his demand that I move in with him.

"Wow!" Sofia sat back in her seat. "I knew those Shaw boys had some game, but fuck me!" She had a dreamy look in her eyes.

I clicked my fingers in front of her face. "Hello! Focus! Yes, the sex was awesome, but did you not hear about him hacking into my life?"

Sofia focused her eyes on me. "Sorry, I got a little lost there thinking of the thirty-six orgasms you seemingly had. Okay, so what is it that you're really scared of, Mai? Of being Ryan's mate? I thought that was what you always wanted."

I closed my eyes. "I did. But not like this. I want to be a partner, but he keeps putting me in this bubble-wrapped box that he thinks needs protecting. If I can't show him that I can look after myself, that I won't let Seth hurt me again, how will Ryan ever see me as an equal mate?"

I opened my eyes to see Sofia frowning at me. "You didn't let Seth do this, Mai. It wasn't your fault; you have to know that."

Wally put his arms around me. "Mai, someone you loved betrayed your trust. They hurt you. Repeatedly. You are not at fault here. You opened yourself up to another person, and they took advantage of that. You have no control over their behavior, and what they do is not on you."

For some reason, I couldn't stop tears from welling up. I hadn't thought of it that way before.

Sofia put her arms around me, too. "Besides, Ryan doesn't think you're weak. You remember that time when we were fourteen, and I went on a date with Josh Kellen? It was awful, and afterward, he wouldn't leave me alone. Waiting outside my house, calling me all the time. Then he started getting angry that I wouldn't call him back. You remember he cornered me in the park? He had hold of me and was yelling and saying I was a fucking bitch who didn't know a good thing when it was right in front of her, and then you came out of nowhere. You shoved him back, told him if he ever came near me again, you'd break both his legs. He went for you, and you flipped him onto the ground and twisted his arm up his back. I honestly thought you were going to break it. He'd started crying before you let him up. Josh never came near me again, Mai. Because of you. I don't know if you've forgotten, but Ryan was there, too. He didn't jump in; he trusted you to handle it, you remember?"

The memory of that day came flooding back. Sofia was right; Ryan had been there. He'd been on babysitting duty, and instead of getting a pizza delivered, I'd wanted the fresh air, so I convinced him that we'd go and get it. After I'd made sure Sofia was okay and we'd walked her home, the only thing he'd said was that it was a nice flip.

Wally handed me a tissue from his back pocket. "From Ryan's point of view, he screwed up big time. He thought he'd lost you forever four years ago and has been searching for you ever since. Now you're back, obviously hurt, and you won't let him in. You won't tell him what happened. He doesn't know if one person or a whole Pack is chasing you. Are you in danger? Is our Pack in danger? His wolf is probably going nuts, demanding that he lock you in a cage until this is all over. I know you think it is over the top, but if anything like that happened to Thomas, I'd burn the whole country down to find out who hurt him and stop it from happening again."

I looked at Wally, thinking that he was lucky to have found Thomas. Beside me, Sofia stiffened, and her scent turned wary. I followed her gaze to see Brock Madden waltzing in the door. The same sandy hair that had once been kept in a sloppy buzz cut now fell in a tousled wave over his forehead. His frame had filled out considerably, his once lanky body now a firm mass of muscle, an indication that he'd spent the last four years working hard. Despite these changes, he still had a cocky tilt to his chin, a glint of mischief in his eyes, and an air of superiority in the way he carried himself.

An uneasiness gnawed at my stomach as I watched at him. Maybe it was seeing him so soon after what had happened with Seth, but just looking at him reminded me loud and clear of a time when I felt small and insignificant. I could feel Wally's eyes on me. Sofia was staring daggers at Brock. I straightened my back. I was no longer that girl he used to bully; I was stronger, tougher, and not about to let the ghost of Brock's past actions haunt me.

Brock paused at the bar, then swirled around on his heel to face our table. "Well, well, well," he said, stalking closer. "I thought I smelled you, Mai. I heard you were back, all broken and pitiful. I honestly didn't think you'd be stupid enough to come back here. I guess I gave you too much credit."

I leaned back in my chair, making myself relax. "Really, Brock? That the best you got?"

Brock's eyes narrowed, and he took another step forward. "What's the matter, Mai? Can't handle the truth?"

"Nothing that comes out of your mouth is the truth, Brock," I replied, meeting his stare head-on. "So why don't you fuck off and let the adults talk?"

Brock's expression turned to fury and then, a split second later, went blank. Interesting. He had better control of his anger now. "Happy homecoming, Mai. I hope you find the place as welcoming as it always was for you."

He gave me a mock salute and strolled out the door.