Trevor

Trevor

It’s officially postseason which means it’s fucking go time. We are the number one seed for the NFC, which is a pretty big fucking deal. I guess the Crusaders haven’t been the number one seed since ’98 and haven’t made it to the Super Bowl in the last five years, so everyone is riding a good buzz. Since we are first in our division, we get a bye for wild card weekend. Only a few more games until the Super Bowl.

Honestly, getting another ring isn’t the end all be all for me. I have enough, and it’s not that I don’t take pride in my work or love to win, because it’s a yes to both, but I think everyone is really pushing for this because it is definitely going to be at least two of our star players’ last season. Declan and Seb deserve to go out with another ring.

Speaking of the devil, we just finished up practice when Sebastian comes off of the practice field and into the locker room. I’ve been waiting for the right time to talk to him, the right place, but I finally figured I need to just sack up and have it out with him, and if he punches me in the face, let’s be real, I probably deserved it.

“Hey,” I say as he goes to his locker. “You got a minute?”

He looks at me for a few seconds, long enough to the point that I think he’s going to blow me off before he turns away from the locker, giving me his full attention as he nods. I let out a long breath as I look up at my former best friend and try to cram a decade’s worth of apologies into a handful of words.

“I’m sorry.”

Nailed it.

Sebastian lifts an unimpressed eyebrow but doesn’t speak, so I continue.

“I’m sorry for a lot, too much. I’m sorry for the shit that happened back in college. I’m sorry for how I reacted when I found out you and Erica were together. I’m sorry I manipulated everyone with the fake amnesia.” I pause for a moment, mustering up the words that are the hardest to say out loud.

“And I’m sorry that I couldn’t stop loving your wife. I felt the way I did, and I couldn’t change it at the time, but I could have restrained it better, distanced myself more. I was selfish and fucking terrible. Honestly, I don’t know why you didn’t beat my ass years ago.”

“Wanted to. Erica told me I couldn’t,” Seb says stoically.

I let out a humorless laugh as I nod. Of course she did, always trying to protect me.

“You should have anyway. You had every right. I know I caused you guys problems through the years. Fights you didn’t need to have, tension that should have never existed, and for that, I can honestly never be sorry enough. If I knew there was a man out there that was desperate for Sage, that would do anything to have her I’d…” I pause, flexing my hands at my sides and shaking my head. Can’t even fucking finish that thought. All I can say is Sebastian is a better man than I.

“You really love her, don’t you?” Seb asks, surprise coloring his words.

“Sage?” I ask.

He nods.

I let out a heavy breath as I put my hands on my hips and shake my head. I can’t help the smile that spreads across my face before nodding.

“A lot, man. More than I’ve ever loved anyone.”

“Anyone?” Seb asks with a dubious look.

Erica was my first great love, we were best friends. Things were perfect. But we were young, life was easy for us back then, and therefore, the relationship was easy. Despite how deep our friendship runs, I don’t think the love for each other ever ran as deep. Not as deep as it runs for her and Seb. Not as deep as I feel it in just a touch from Sage. I loved Erica, but then I think I just loved the idea of her. The idea of a life where my parents were proud of me, we had no responsibilities, and I could just be myself around my best friend.

I was too young to understand that I could still have my best friend. We didn’t need to be in love too. And then I just continued fucking things up from there one mistake at a time.

Things with Sage and I are different. I think because we started off so rocky, literally hating each other, it’s already made us stronger than Erica and I ever were or ever could have been together. When I wasn’t around Erica, I missed her like crazy, wanted to be around her. When I’m not with Sage, I can’t fucking breathe. Can hardly think until she’s in my sights again. I loved Erica selfishly, but I love Sage wholly.

“Anyone,” I confirm with a confident nod that has Seb’s dubious look giving way into what looks like awe.

“Fuck, well alright then.”

I frown.

“Alright then?”

“Yeah.” He shrugs.

“That’s it? You don’t have anything to say?”

He shrugs again. “All I wanted you to do was fuck off my wife. I knew you were sorry, you looked like a kicked puppy dog anytime you even glanced in my direction. But being sorry didn’t make up for the fact that had something bad happened to me or Erica, and I didn’t work out, you would have been there in a heartbeat to take my place.”

“I know. I was a piece of shit.”

“For years,” Seb fills in.

I nod and lower my head because what else can I say at this point?

“But Erica really likes Sage, and so do the girls. I don’t see them letting her go anytime soon so, maybe we should all go do something this weekend. Go over to the coast or something?”

“Really?” I ask, surprise evident in my words.

Sebastian shrugs. “Erica has been wanting to go.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’ll talk to Sage.”

“Cool,” Seb says as he turns around to resume taking off his gear, like nothing even happened.

I’m surprised by the guy’s nonchalant attitude, but honestly, am I? The man is practically a gargoyle. He doesn’t show any emotions unless one of his girls is around, and that’s the way he likes it.

I’m not naïve enough to think we could ever be as close as we were in college. That bridge is probably permanently burned and rightfully so. But if we can get along, have a drink or two without getting ready to come to blows, I’d say that’s progress.