Chapter 3

CHAPTER 3

Holden

Sniff. Sniff.

How the hell does a sheet still smell like a person when they’ve been gone for four days?

Whatever. I needed to ignore it because I had to get this apartment ready for the Airbnb renter checking in tomorrow. I walked around the bed, yanked the last corner of the fitted sheet off, and bunched it into a ball.

But as I lifted it into my arms, that smell wafted through the air again.

I looked around the empty apartment, as if someone other than me might be inside, and then brought the sheet to my nose.

Deep inhalein. Big exhale out. Damn it. Did she have to smell as good as she looked these days? Lala freaking Ellison.

The woman was making me nuts. She was all I’d been able to think about since that letter from myself arrived, and I hadn’t had a good night’s sleep since the one she’d spent here. As if on cue, I yawned.

I really could use a little nap. I looked at the sheet in my hand. No. Don’t do it.

But why the fuck not?a different part of my conscience asked. It’s just a bed. And this one is so new and comfy—unlike my own, which I’d had to fix twice in the last few months. I just needed to get a few solid hours of decent shut-eye.

Yeah right. Lie to yourself. Go ahead, fuckboy.

But it made sense, didn’t it? I was tired, standing in front of a nice, new bed, and I happened to have had a mostly clean sheet right in my hand. I could just pop it back on. I wouldn’t even need to put on all four corners—two would be enough. Lord knows I’d slept like that before. No one would even know I’d taken a little nap.

Except you, you low-life sheet sniffer.

“Shut the hell up.”

I was now not just thinking to myself, but talking out loud too. Great, just great. I really needed some sleep. So I tamped down my ridiculous thoughts, put the fitted sheet back on, and climbed into bed.

I took a big, deep inhale…

Because that’s what one does when they’re exhausted and trying to fall asleep, and not because it smelled just like Lala freaking Ellison.

For the record, the smile that stayed on my face for my three-and-a-half-hour nap also had nothing to do with Lala freaking Ellison.

***

“What’s up, ladies?” I smiled at the guys as I walked into Owen’s apartment for our monthly card game. They were already seated in their usual spots. I plunked down a twelve-pack of Coors Light and pulled one out for myself.

Owen had the cards in his hands, itching to deal. “You’re freaking late, that’s what’s up.”

“Sorry.” I twisted off the cap and tossed it into the center of the pot as my ante. “I just woke up from a glorious nap. Which means I also didn’t have time to run out and get cash, so I’m going to have to use beer caps for dollars.”

Brayden shook his head. “You got some racket going, dude. You never have any cash on you, and you take afternoon naps.”

I grinned and pointed to my face. “Needed my beauty sleep. Otherwise how am I going to get women to buy me drinks when I don’t have cash?”

Colby chuckled. “Pass me one of those beers, jackass.”

I pulled another bottle out of the case and draped it over one arm like a maître d’ showing a bottle of champagne. “I hope the year is to your liking.”

Owen went around the table, dealing the cards. “You’re in an awfully good mood. I take it you weren’t alone in bed this afternoon?”

I sucked down some of my beer and leaned back with a big ahhh. “All by myself, my friend. I’m just happy to be here with my dearest mates.”

Colby positioned his beer cap between his thumb and middle finger and snapped. It went flying through the air, bounced off my forehead, and landed in the middle of the table.

I grinned. “Guess my ante is two bucks.”

Owen finished dealing out five cards each and set down the deck. “Any of you know how far out we have reservations on the Airbnb unit?”

“I think we have one at the end of the month, but that’s it. We only opened the reservation calendar for six months.”

“Can we cancel that reservation?”

I shrugged. “Person probably won’t be happy about it. But yeah, we have the ability to cancel. Why?”

Owen looked around at all the guys. “Because Lala got the grant she applied for.”

I froze. “How do you know?”

“She called me today. They want her to start Monday. It’s a government grant, so if they don’t begin spending the money by the end of the month, they lose it from their budget next year. She wanted to know if we’d rent the apartment to her. I told her I’d get back to her after I checked whether it was available, but I wanted to see how you guys feel about offering it to her rent free. Her grant lasts for six months, so we’d be forgoing rent for half a year. But we wouldn’t have this building if Ryan hadn’t made us the beneficiaries of his life insurance policy. It seems like the right thing to do.”

The guys all started nodding. “Absolutely,” someone added. But I was still stuck on Owen’s first sentence. “Why did she call you and not me?”

He shrugged. “Probably because I’m nicer and better looking. Oh, and I’m an adult who doesn’t take naps.”

I was offended that Lala had chosen to call Owen, but when Colby’s eyes slanted to mine with a knowing look, I covered up as best as I could. “Yeah, sure. That’s fine.”

“So we’re all good with giving it to her rent free?” Owen asked.

Everyone nodded.

“Alright then,” he said. “I’ll call her back later and let her know she has a place to stay for as long as she needs it.”

***

“Hey, I’m glad you’re home.”

I opened my apartment door to find Owen on the other side. “What’s up?”

“Lala is supposed to be arriving about two today, and I just got a call from a client who wants me to show them an apartment right now because they’re very interested, and I already have an offer coming in on it from another agency. I was supposed to give Lala and Warren a hand moving her stuff in. Any chance you could help them out in my place?”

I felt bad saying no. But Dr. Douchebag should be able to carry the boxes himself. The apartment was fully furnished, so it wasn’t like he had to carry anything big. “Sorry.” I shrugged. “I have plans.”

“Shit. Okay. I’ll try Brayden and Colby.”

“Alright. Good luck today.”

“Thanks, man.”

Owen started to walk away, but turned back. “By the way, I caught Frick and Frack, the teenagers from hell in 410, up on the roof again last night. They had buckets of water and were trying to dump them on unsuspecting pedestrians this time.”

“Seriously? Mrs. Martin from 408 called me to complain two days ago that they’d been blasting music all night. When I went up to tell them to knock it off, they were home alone. I thought I scared them a little. Guess not. Have you seen the mother lately?”

“Nope. And we didn’t get rent this month either.”

I shook my head. “They’re old enough not to need a babysitter, but they’re not old enough to live alone. I’ll see if the mom is around later and have a talk with her if she is.”

“Thanks.”

I shut the door, feeling like a complete piece of shit for saying I couldn’t help Lala. But the last thing I needed was to be around her and her fiancé. Since she was moving right next door, I was bound to hear them when they arrived, and that would make me feel like an even bigger scumbag for hiding out in my apartment. I needed to make myself scarce, so I scrolled through my contacts for someone to make plans with. I didn’t have to scroll very far.

I’d hooked up with Anna a few times, and just last week I’d run into her on the subway. She’d told me to text her. So I did. I asked her to a daytime movie, though I had no interest in seeing one. She texted back quickly, sounding excited about getting together, which made me feel like shit yet again.

I wanted to be gone by the time Lala arrived. So after I took a shower, I figured I’d take a slow walk uptown to the theatre where I’d told Anna I’d meet her in an hour. But when I got outside in front of the building, there was some sort of commotion. A guy was yelling and flailing his arms, standing beside a car pulled halfway into a parking spot, nose first. Meanwhile, another car was backed halfway in. It wasn’t until a woman got out of the other car and slammed the door that I realized it was Lala getting yelled at. Shit. I ran over just as the other driver began walking toward her.

“Hey.” I stepped in front of her and put my hands up. “Slow your roll, buddy. What’s going on here?”

Lala pointed to the guy. “I was trying to back in, and he raced up out of nowhere and is trying to take the spot. He was definitely not behind me when I reversed to parallel park.”

I looked at the guy. He was bald, with a big belly and ruddy face. “Listen, dude, the lady is moving into this building right here today.”

“I don’t give two shits where she’s going,” he spat. “I saw the spot first.”

Lala put her hands on her hips. “You did not!”

“Come on, buddy. Even if you were here first, can’t you just be a gentleman and let her take the spot?” I pointed to the backseat of her car, which was filled with boxes. “She’s got a lot of stuff that needs to get moved.”

He folded his arms across his chest. “Blow me.”

“Very nice.” I shook my head. “You’re a real peach, I can see.”

Lala opened the back door to her car. “Fine. If you’re not going to move, I’m just going to leave my car parked like this and carry my boxes up. I have a lot of them, so if you’re thinking of waiting until I’m done, it’s going to be a while.”

“Uhh, Lala,” I leaned in and whispered. “I’m not sure you should leave your car parked like that.”

She pursed her lips, reached into the car, and grabbed a box anyway. “Oh well.”

I looked at the guy and shrugged. “You heard the lady.” Then I loaded a few boxes into my arms, and Lala and I headed to the front door of the building. The guy screamed something about having her car towed.

Lala stopped at the door and yelled, “Go suck an egg, baldy!”

Inside the elevator, I grinned. “That was pretty badass.”

She set her box down and showed me a shaking hand. “I guess it was the adrenaline pumping because I’m shaking now. I’m a big chicken.”

I chuckled. “Could’ve fooled me.”

The elevator dinged on our floor, and I motioned with my chin for Lala to step off first. Halfway down the hall, the bottom of the three boxes I had stacked in my arms burst open, and everything inside fell to the floor.

“Shit.”

Lala and I put everything down, and I attempted to reseal the box where the tape had come undone. I shook my head. “This isn’t going to hold. I need to put this box in the middle of the other two, so there’s support on the bottom, then we can toss everything back in just to get the stuff into the apartment.”

“Good idea.”

We scooped everything back into the box and stacked the third on top. Lala picked up the box she’d been carrying, and we walked another five or six steps…until the box in her hands gave out, and the contents spilled all over the floor.

“Oh no!” Lala bent down. “Does tape go bad?”

“If it’s old enough. The stickiness dries up. Why? How old was the tape you used to make these boxes?”

She made a face. “I found it in Ryan’s closet. I’m pretty sure it’s from when we packed up some of his clothes for Goodwill a few months after he died.”

Oh shit. “Did you use it for all the boxes?”

She nodded and bit her bottom lip.

I chuckled. “I have packing tape in my apartment. We’ll bring it down with us and reinforce the rest of the boxes before we carry them up.”

Together, we repacked the second broken box and managed to get all of the first batch into the apartment before anything else busted. I went next door to grab fresh tape and came back a minute later. “I thought Warren was coming to help you move in?”

“He’s busy working on a project deadline, and I thought I could handle it myself.”

That’s strike number three against Dr. Douchebag. Two was that pebble of an engagement ring he bought her, and strike one…well, that was because he existed.

I frowned. “We better head back down.”

“Do you mind if I use the bathroom first?”

I gestured toward it. “Help yourself.”

While she took care of her business, I went back next door to my apartment and got us two bottles of water. I offered her one when she came out.

“Oh, thank you. I’m actually really thirsty. I didn’t drink anything before I left because I didn’t want to have to leave all my stuff alone at a rest stop.”

“Good idea.” I twisted the cap and chugged some water. “You ready to do the next trip? Mr. Happy out there is probably stomping his feet by now.”

But when we walked outside, Mr. Happy wasn’t pouting. The fucker was all smiles. His sudden good mood was most likely due to the tow truck lifting the front of Lala’s car into the air. I ran over to the guy running the crank.

“Hey, come on, man. The owner of the car is right here.” I pointed to the guy who’d started this. “This dude tried to steal her spot and picked a fight with her. We were only gone for ten minutes, max. She’s moving into that building right there, and she has all these boxes to carry up. Can you cut her some slack, please? We’ll move the car right after you unhook her, I promise.”

The tow truck driver lifted a foot onto the bumper of his truck and spoke to the other driver. “I don’t know, Officer Agostino, what do you think? Should I give the lady here a break?”

The dickface flashed an evil smile. “Definitely not. Get that piece of shit out of here, Johnny.”

Oh fuck.I hung my head. The asshole is a cop...

I let out a sigh of defeat and spoke to Johnny. “Can we just pay you for the tow, you can unhook it right here, and we’ll move the car? At least save us from having to go down to the impound lot to get it.”

The tow truck driver looked to the cop again. The dickwad shook his head with a smile so big it made me think this was the most fun he’d had in a long-ass time.

The tow truck driver finished cranking up Lala’s car and handed me a card. “I’m probably going to stop for some lunch, so it might be a while.”

“Can we at least take the boxes out before you go? Things are going to rattle around from all the potholes and being towed with the front end in the air.”

“Sorry. No can do.” He walked toward his truck.

I looked at Lala. “Sorry.”

“It’s not your fault.” She pointed to the cop. “It’s his.”

The officer flashed one last smug smile and got into his car. “You two have a great fucking day.”

***

Things didn’t get any better after that. Lala and I took an overpriced Uber to Brooklyn to get her car from the impound lot. But when we arrived, the car wasn’t there yet. The damn tow truck driver moseyed in almost an hour later. Then we went to pay and found out they didn’t take credit cards, and neither one of us had enough cash on us. So we had to walk six blocks to the nearest cash machine. After, when we returned with the three-hundred-and-fifty bucks they had the balls to charge, the clerk at the lot didn’t want to release the car to Lala because she didn’t have the registration on her. Once we finally convinced them Lala wasn’t a car thief trying to steal her eleven-year-old piece-of-crap car from the tow company, her car wouldn’t start.

“They messed up your car. I’m gonna kill that tow truck driver.” I started to get out, but Lala reached for me.

“No. I don’t think they did anything, Holden.” She shook her head. “I had to get my neighbor to come over and give me a jump before I left this morning. He said it was probably the alternator.”

“Oh. Alright.” I looked around, but the impound yard was empty except for cars. “Let me go back to the office and see if the clerk can get someone to give us a jump. I’ll be right back.”

But our string of bad luck didn’t stop there. The car wouldn’t start, even after half an hour of trying to jump it and letting the battery charge.

I finally closed the hood of Lala’s car and wiped my hands on my pants before extending a hand to the woman who’d helped us. “I really appreciate you trying. Is there a mechanic nearby who won’t gouge her for an alternator if we have you guys tow it there?”

She nodded. “Banner Auto Repair is about a mile down on the right. He’s fair.”

“Can you tow it there?”

She looked at the time on her phone. “It’s almost six on a Sunday. He’s closed for the day by now. I can get it towed over first thing in the morning, but I’m going to have to charge you for it.”

I blew out two cheeks of hot air and looked over at Lala.

She shrugged. “What choice do we have? But what about all my boxes? I don’t even have a toothbrush or clothes to wear to work tomorrow without them.”

“I’ll call Dylan, my bass player, and see if he can come get us and the boxes. He lives in Brooklyn and stores the band’s van in his driveway.”

Dylan was able to help, but we didn’t get back to the apartment building and finish unloading everything until almost eight thirty.

Lala looked around the living room, littered with boxes. “Could you please call my cell? I have no idea where I put it down. I really hope I didn’t drop it in the van since Dylan just left.”

I held up my phone. “I would, but mine died hours ago.”

Lala covered her mouth and giggled. “Oh my God, Holden. If I don’t laugh at the day we’ve had, I might have to cry.”

I smiled. “Today was a real shit show, wasn’t it?”

“I told a cop to go suck an egg and called him baldy!”

The two of us cracked up, and I nodded toward the door. “Come on. Let’s go to my place. I’ll grab a charger so we can find your phone, and you’ll grab us some cold beers from the fridge.”

“That sounds heavenly. Thank you.”

But as soon as we stepped out of Lala’s apartment and into the hall, I realized heavenly was still a speedbump away. A woman stood in front of my door—a woman I’d completely forgotten I was supposed to meet at the movies hours ago.

Anna looked at me, then Lala, and her lips twisted.

Crap. This wasn’t going to be pretty.

“You are such an asshole. I can’t believe I came all the way back over here because I was worried something happened to you since you stood me up and haven’t answered your phone all day.” She looked over at Lala. “Enjoy your fun night because that’s all you’re gonna get.” She stormed off.

“Anna, wait! I’m sorry! Something came up and my phone died and then—”

Her response was to flip me the bird over her shoulder and keep walking.

“I’m so sorry,” Lala said. “I didn’t realize you had plans.”

I shook my head. “It’s my fault. I totally forgot I was supposed to meet her at the movies.”

“Well, I think you’re being kind. Will you please let me buy you dinner? It’s the least I can do after the mess I’ve made out of your day and ruining your date.”

“Only if I can supply the beer and wine.”

She smiled. “It’s a deal.”

Lala and I ordered Chinese food, and we ate out of the cartons it came in as she unpacked and I broke down boxes. Despite all the hassle, today had left me feeling close to her the way we’d been years ago.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure. If I get to ask you something.” She held out her container of chicken with broccoli. “Want the rest? I’m full.”

I squinted at her. “Did you spit in it?”

She looked shocked. “What? No!”

I chuckled and swiped the carton from her hand. “I’m kidding.”

Lala rolled her eyes but smiled as she used a box cutter to open the last box. “What did you want to ask me?”

“Why did you call Owen to see if the apartment was available, and not me?”

Lala froze. “Ummm... I’m not sure. I guess he was just first in my contacts.”

That made no sense, since my first and last name both came before Owen’s. But she was suddenly avoiding eye contact, and I didn’t want to make things weird between us again, so I dropped the subject.

“Your turn…” I said.

“Hmmm?” Lala’s nose wrinkled. “My turn for what?”

“You said I could ask you something, if you got to ask me something. Now it’s your turn.”

“Oh.” She took a bunch of towels out of her box and went to the bathroom. “Okay, there is something I’m curious about,” she said when she returned.

“Shoot.” I put a piece of chicken in my mouth.

“How many women do you sleep with in a month? I mean, that’s the second one I’ve seen at your apartment already.”

I started to choke on the chicken.

Lala’s eyes widened. She ran to get my bottle of water and held it up to my face. “Drink. Or do you need me to do the Heimlich maneuver?”

I coughed a few more times but managed to swallow the piece of chicken. My eyes watered. “Wrong pipe,” I said, taking the bottle.

Lala watched me drink. “Thank God! I haven’t done the Heimlich since eighth-grade gym class. I’m not even sure I remember how.”

It took another minute to stop the burn in my throat, but at least I could breathe.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I shouldn’t have asked such a personal question.”

“No, it’s fine. I never want you to feel like you can’t ask me something.” Though I had no idea what the answer to her question was. How many women did I sleep with in a month? It wasn’t like I kept count, but whatever number I gave her was going to make her think I was a manwhore. “I guess the number varies. Sometimes it’s none and sometimes I go out a few times.”

“Do you…bring someone home every time you go out?”

Fuck. I was making this worse. “Not always, no.” Because there was that one time four months ago that I wasn’t feeling so good and left the bar early alone.

She shook her head and held her hands up. “I didn’t mean to intrude or offend you by asking.”

I shrugged. “It’s fine.”

She stared at me for a few seconds. “I bet you’re really good at it then…”

My brows shot up.

Lala covered her mouth. Pink bloomed in her cheeks. “Oh my God. I can’t believe I just said that. It’s just that…you know, practice makes perfect.”

I smiled. “I love that you still turn red when you’re embarrassed, like you did when you were a kid. You didn’t outgrow that.”

“Yeah well, obviously I haven’t outgrown saying embarrassing stuff, either. I’m sorry for being so inappropriate. I’m not sure what came over me.”

“It’s fine.”

Lala finished unpacking the last box, and I broke it down. We were done now, but I wasn’t ready to call it a night. “You up for a glass of wine? I have white and red next door.”

Lala hesitated, but then smiled. “Sure. That would be great.”

“Red or white?”

“White.”

I nodded. “I’m just going to take these boxes down to the dumpster, and then I’ll be back.”

“Okay.”

After I ran downstairs, I went back to my apartment and grabbed a bottle of pinot grigio and two glasses. But rather than go next door, I opened the window in my kitchen and climbed out onto the fire escape.

“Hey, Lala!” I leaned toward her apartment window a few feet away and yelled. When she didn’t come, I cupped my hands around my mouth. “Hey, Ellison! Open the window!”

A few seconds later, she lifted the window in her apartment and stuck her head out. “I couldn’t figure out where you were yelling from.”

I waved to her. “Climb out on your fire escape.”

She looked down. “Is it safe?”

“Safer than sitting on the roof of your parents’ house when everyone else was sleeping like we did when we were kids.”

Lala smiled and climbed out. There was only about a foot between my fire escape and hers. I poured two glasses of wine and slipped her one through the metal balusters.

She took it and looked up at the sky. “God, I used to climb out on that roof all the time to study the stars.”

“I know. I used to join you whenever I slept over and Ryan would fall asleep before me. You always had your astronomy textbook and a bunch of colored pens with you.”

She sipped her wine. “I liked to write down the stars I could identify and color code them based on the constellations they belonged to.”

“Ursa Major, Cassiopeia, Orion, Canis Major, Centaurus Crux, and Carina,” I said. “Your favorite was Carina. At one point, you wanted to change your name to Carina.”

Lala looked over at me. “I can’t believe you still remember that.”

“I remember a lot about those nights we used to talk…” I probably should’ve stopped there, since I’d already taken this conversation further than I should’ve, but I’d always had boundary issues. “You know, you were the first girl I ever felt like I could be myself with when we were out there on the roof. Like, I would tell you dumb shit I dreamed of doing someday, and you never made me feel stupid. You always listened and made me feel like anything was possible.”

Lala nodded. “Do you think Ryan knew we used to sneak out and talk like that?”

“Definitely not,” I said. “He would’ve kicked my ass for it.”

“Why? We were just two friends talking.”

“First of all, I was letting his little sister sit on the roof, when I should’ve dragged your ass back inside the house where it was safe. And second of all, Ryan knew me well. My intentions always started good with a pretty girl, but they didn’t always end so well.”

“You…thought I was pretty?”

“Of course I did. Any guy with one eyeball did.”

Lala looked into her wine glass with a shy smile. “I thought you were kinda hot, too.”

I grinned. “I know.”

Her eyes widened. “What do you mean, you know?”

“I used to notice the way you’d check me out, like when I got out of your pool and stuff. Sometimes you’d do it from your bedroom window when you thought no one could see you.”

Lala covered her face with her hands. “Oh my God.” She laughed. “And here I thought I was so sly.”

I leaned a little closer, against the railing of my fire escape. “I’ll tell you a little secret.”

“What?”

“You know how Ryan and I used to go to the garage and lift your dad’s weights before we went in the pool?”

“Yeah? You went in the pool to cool off after.”

I shook my head slowly. “Wrong. I made Ryan pump iron with me before we went in the pool, so I’d look more jacked when I got undressed, just in case you were watching.”

“Oh wow.” Lala gulped back the rest of her wine. “I definitely didn’t know that.”

I held up the bottle. “You want more?”

Lala bit her lip. It looked like she was considering it—at least until her phone rang. She looked down, and her beautiful face wilted. “Thank you for the offer, but I should take this. It’s Warren, and I have to work early tomorrow morning, anyway.”

My heart sank, but I forced a smile. “Yeah, of course.”

She climbed to her feet, and I followed suit.

“Thank you again for everything you did for me today,” she said. “And for the wine and talk, too.” She extended her empty glass over the railing to me. “Goodnight, Holden.”

“Goodnight, Lala.”

Back inside my apartment, I set the bottle of wine on the kitchen counter and placed my glass in the sink. But when I went to put Lala’s down next to it, I noticed lipstick marks on the rim.

Don’t do it, you dick.

Why not? You already slept in her sheets, bozo.

I clenched my jaw and tried to walk away—really, I did. But I was going to be pissed at myself tomorrow for saying inappropriate shit to Lala anyway. What’s a little more self-loathing? So I picked the bottle of wine back up and filled Lala’s glass, lining my mouth up where hers had been to drink.

By the time I was done, I’d already started berating myself.

What the fuck, Holden? What’s next—stealing her underwear to sniff?