Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

Holden

Thinking about what Lala does with that damn vibrator was the only thing that had been able to get me off lately. Believe me, I wished another woman would capture my attention. This forbidden-fruit fixation on Lala wasn’t healthy, and it was time I moved on from it; I just didn’t know how. The more I tried not to think about her, the more I did.

All this week, I’d once again attempted to put some space between us. But as always, the need to see her eventually wore me down. I’d always convince myself that this time it would be innocent. Such as tonight, when I’d decided to knock on her door to see what she was up to and if maybe she wanted to grab a bite to eat.

To my surprise, when she opened the door, she wasn’t alone. There was a woman there I’d never met before.

Lala’s eyes widened. “Holden.”

“Hey.” I turned to her friend. “Who’s this?”

The dark-haired girl answered before Lala could. “I’m Tia. And Laney clearly has been holding out on me.”

Lala cleared her throat. “Tia is one of my admins from work and a friend.”

“Oh, yeah. Okay.” I nodded. “Nice to meet you.”

Lala turned to her. “Holden is one of my brother’s friends and my next-door neighbor.”

“And sometimes I rescue her from broken-down vehicles and locked doors.” I winked.

“I might have to fake an accident so you can rescue me.” Tia laughed.

Well, alright then.This chick was nothing if not forward. She was practically fucking me with her eyes, too.

Meanwhile Lala’s face was beet red. Of course, I could’ve gone easy on her and left right away. But I was sort of getting off on the fact that my being here made her all flustered.

She finally stepped back, allowing me to enter her apartment, and I made myself comfortable, leaning against the arm of the couch. “What are you guys up to this fine Friday evening?”

“Actually,” Lala answered, “we’re getting ready to go out dancing.”

“Oh, nice.” I nodded. “You deserve to unwind. You haven’t been out with friends—besides me—since you got here, from what I can remember. Right?”

“Well, I don’t have too many girlfriends here.”

Lala looked really cute, dressed once again in a black leather skirt and her off-the-shoulder Debbie Harry shirt. Her hair was off-the-charts wild too—just the way I liked it. Her friend wore a tight green dress with tall leather boots. They were definitely dressed to go clubbing.

“Where are you guys going?” I asked.

Lala looked over at her friend for guidance. She wasn’t the one making the plans.

“Zanzibar,” Tia said. “You know it?”

“Yeah. I pretty much know all of the dance clubs.”

“You’re the drummer, right?” Tia grinned.

“That’s correct.” I nodded.

“I could tell.”

“Because I look homeless or something?”

“No, because you’re super hot. Most drummers I know are.”

Lala looked ready to crawl out of her skin, so I decided to put her out of her misery.

“Anyway, ladies. I should let you get ready. I hope you have a fun night. Just wanted to check in and say hi, Lala, since it’s been a couple of days.”

Lala perked up, seeming relieved that I was halfway out the door. “Okeedokee.”

But then her friend called after me. “Wait! Why don’t you come out with us? The more the merrier!”

I turned. “No, I don’t want to interrupt girls’ night.”

“But it’s not girls’ night.” She turned to Lala. “You invited one of the other guys already, didn’t you?”

I froze. Hold up. Say what? I narrowed my eyes. “Is that right…”

“Uh…” Lala sighed. “Brayden is coming out with us, yeah.”

What the fuck?I took a slow breath in to calm myself. Before I got all pissy, it occurred to me that maybe she was trying to set Brayden up with her friend; that was probably the only excuse that wouldn’t totally offend me. But still, she could’ve asked me to hang out, too. She’d specifically chosen not to.

Tia got a phone call and wandered over to the corner of the apartment to talk in private. I took the opportunity to grill Lala.

“So…” I crossed my arms. “Brayden. Since when do you invite him out with you?”

“Okay…” She sighed. “I know it seems weird, especially since I didn’t tell you. But Tia had asked me to introduce her to one of my single guy friends. And Brayden was the first person who came to mind.”

I decided to mess with her. “That’s interesting. Because I’m single. Why didn’t you want to introduce her to me?” I snapped my finger. “Oh, let me guess. You think I’m too much of a manwhore or something? So you chose Brayden?” My eyes seared into hers. “Or…is it something else, Lala?”

What looked like a faint rash started to form on her neck as she lowered her voice. “I don’t know why I chose Brayden. And I knew she would want you if she saw you. I just—”

Before we could get into it any further, Tia returned from her phone call. Now that I knew fucking Brayden was going out with them, I decided to take Tia up on her offer.

“You know what?” I flashed an evil grin. “I don’t have any plans tonight. If it’s not a girls’ night, I think I will join after all.” I turned to Lala. “If you don’t mind.”

Lala blew out a long breath and shrugged.

A half hour later, it was all aboard the Clusterfuck Express, also known as an Uber SUV Brayden had called to pick us all up. It turned out to be a bigger group than anticipated, since Brayden had also decided to invite Owen, who apparently had a rare night off where he wasn’t buried in work. I had to wonder, though, if Owen wanted to come merely to keep an eye on me when it came to Lala. Pretty sure that was it.

Brayden seemed somewhat interested in Tia, asking her some questions about her job and flashing that flirty smile he was known for. But unfortunately, Tia only seemed to have eyes for…me. Whoops. Not only had she asked Lala if she could switch seats to be next to me, she kept placing her hand on my knee as she talked. I wasn’t one to get uncomfortable from such things, but I felt awkward because I sensed Brayden getting annoyed. He could be competitive sometimes—especially when it came to me stealing his thunder. But you know who was getting even more annoyed? Take one guess. Yeah. Lala sat there looking miffed, and her eyes kept landing on Tia’s hand whenever she touched me.

Owen was being Owen and seemed disinterested in the entire thing after having forced himself to go out. He certainly wasn’t expressing any interest in Tia. He was probably one of the pickiest dudes I knew. He had to be equally as mentally stimulated as he was physically attracted to someone. In the past, I’d been the opposite: it didn’t matter to me if a hot girl had marbles. But lately? I could definitely relate to how Owen felt. Brains and beauty got me off these days. More specifically, scientists with crazy-curly hair who wore hot-ass thongs and carried vibrators in their purses.

Once we got to the club, the dynamic was weird, to say the least. Tia continued to stick by me, even though I tried my best to seem uninterested. My eyes wandered over the club as she talked my ear off, and I was looking anywhere but at her. This girl just did not take a hint. Clearly, she also couldn’t see that she was pissing off her friend. Lala had a permanent look of annoyance on her face.

Tia returned from the bar with a drink—I’d declined her offer to get me one. “Would you want to dance, Holden?”

“No, I’m good,” I told her. “Thanks for asking, though.”

That was finally the beginning of the end. Tia now started to gravitate away from me—thank fuck—spending more time talking to Lala while scoping out the place for fresh meat. Brayden had already started chatting up some girl he’d met, so he’d given up on Tia a while ago.

When Lala and Tia took off to the bathroom, Owen slipped into the spot next to me.

“I assume someone’s getting laid tonight?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “That Tia chick has made no secret of the fact that she wants you.”

I tried not to make a face as I responded. “Yeah, well, I’m not interested.”

He arched a brow. “Oh yeah? Why ever would you not be interested in a hot piece of ass like that?”

“I don’t know. You tell me. Why aren’t you interested in her?”

“Come on, Holden. Cut the shit. You know you don’t typically come out and not flirt with a zillion women. You haven’t so much as looked at anyone because your eyes have been on Lala all night. Once again, you’re setting yourself up for trouble.”

Brayden suddenly appeared next to us, placing his hand on Owen’s shoulder. “Who’s in trouble?”

Owen was about to fill Brayden in when Lala and Tia returned from the bathroom, stopping all further conversation on the matter. I wore a scowl on my face for the next several minutes. Owen had once again managed to piss me off, so I decided to take it out on him by asking Lala to dance. That killed two birds with one stone: piss Owen off and get a few minutes to talk to Lala in private, something I hadn’t been able to do all night.

“Lala, let’s dance.” I pulled her gently by the arm to the dance floor. We could barely move to the music amidst the crowd of sweaty people. “I’m sorry,” I told her.

“Sorry for what?” she shouted through the noise.

“Sorry for ruining your night. I know my coming out made you uncomfortable. It was a dick move. I got pissed that you invited Brayden and not me. But I should’ve trusted your judgment on that. You wanted to set him up with your friend and didn’t need me around messing that up. I should not have acted like a fucking child about it.”

“Pretty sure I’m the one acting like the child, because she wants you, and it’s pissing me off.” She wiped her forehead. “I don’t have a right to gatekeep you, Holden, just because you and I have had some awkwardness lately.”

“For what it’s worth, I wouldn’t be interested in her anyway—even if she weren’t your friend. She’s not my type. And I get why you didn’t try to set her up with me. I sure as fuck wouldn’t have set you up with someone.” I clarified, “You know, if you weren’t already engaged.”

Lala had been carrying her bag with her all night. Right now it acted as a barrier between us as we danced.

I looked down. “Is that a vibrator in your purse, or are you just happy to see me?”

She clutched it tighter. “Very funny.”

“I try.”

“You are funny.” She rolled her eyes, swaying her hips a little. “I wish I didn’t find you so damn amusing.”

I leaned in and spoke into her ear, “I think you find me a little more than amusing.”

She shook her head slowly. “Admitting my attraction to you was a huge mistake, not to mention completely inappropriate.”

“Don’t worry. You’ll go back to Philly—or worse, California—and all this weird tension between us will be a mere memory. Out of sight, out of mind.”

While that was meant to reassure her, the words left a bitter taste in my mouth.

Because they were the truth.

I was just the fuckboy she found tempting, not the guy she’d end up with.

***

By the end of the night, Tia was sloshed. Owen was even more bored and unimpressed. Brayden had exchanged numbers with that girl he’d been talking to. And me? I was painfully sober. Not sure why, but I felt like if I’d gotten drunk tonight, I might’ve said or done something even more dumb than I already had. So, I’d limited myself to one beer. Lala had one vodka cranberry, followed by a Shirley Temple she had no idea was a Shirley Temple.

We dropped Tia off first to make sure she got home safely. Then the four of us headed back to the building.

Once inside, Brayden went on ahead of the pack to his apartment while Owen seemed to be following me back to mine, and he then decided to linger in front of my place. I knew he was doing it because he wanted to make sure I went to my apartment and not to Lala’s, or vice versa. God, he was such a dick sometimes.

But even when Lala had bid us both goodnight and disappeared inside her apartment, Owen still hung around.

“Can I help you?” I asked as he followed me inside my place.

“Just making sure you don’t do anything stupid, my friend.”

“You don’t need to babysit me.”

“Not babysitting you. Just looking out for Ryan’s little sister.”

I opened my fridge to grab a water. “What makes you think I haven’t had multiple opportunities to tempt her that I’ve passed on? You seem to think I can’t be trusted when all I’ve been fucking doing is staying on my best behavior. In fact, being good is nearly killing me.”

“I don’t believe that you’d pass up an opportunity to go in for the kill if she really weakened to your charms.”

He had no freaking clue. I slammed my water bottle on the counter. “Do you have any idea how much restraint I’ve exhibited, Owen? Let me tell you!” I paused, giving myself one last chance to stop before saying fuck it. “I slept in the same goddamn bed as her that night we had to stay in a hotel together. Because she insisted I not sleep on the floor. Then sometime after she fell asleep, she unknowingly pushed her ass right against my dick. You know what I did? I fucking moved. Put some space between us. Hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life aside from burying my best friend. So tell me I don’t have restraint,” I spat. “Tell me!”

I stopped short of telling him about the timed, mutual peep show she and I had done. Details. That I would take to my grave.

Owen kept blinking, as if trying to process. “You slept in the same bed?”

“That’s the part you’re stuck on? Did you not hear everything else I just said?”

“Yeah. I heard you, and I still can’t believe it. Ultimately, it was your decision to get into that bed, even if it was her suggestion.”

“Sue me for wanting to sleep in a warm bed.” With Lala.

He pointed up at the ceiling. “You do realize Ryan can probably see everything you’re doing from wherever he is?”

While that idea made me cringe, I snapped back, “You know what, Owen? If he could really see inside my head, he’d know how damn hard I’ve been trying to do the right thing and control my actions. Feelings? They’re not so easy to control. I made a decision not to cross a certain line with her as long as she’s engaged. Because of my feelings for her, I’ve toed the line—I admit it. But I haven’t crossed it, even though I wanted to a long time ago. You got to give me some credit for that.”

Owen just stood there, shaking his head. Then he rubbed his eyes and muttered, “You know what? It’s late. I’m going to sleep.”

I smirked. “I love shutting you up almost as much as I love proving you wrong. When I get to do both at once? Even better.”

“Don’t get too confident, jackass.” He pointed to his eyes then back at me. “I’m still going to be watching you.”

I gave him the finger. “Here’s an idea. Why don’t you find yourself a woman so you’re not constantly up in my business?”

“Find me someone I’m interested in,” he said as he opened the door to leave.

“I’ll have to go to Mars,” I called after him as he headed down the hall. “Because you’re the pickiest motherfucker on the face of the Earth.”

Feeling restless after he left, I took a shower before going to bed. But I was still wide awake as I sat up against my headboard.

Then Lala sent me a text.

A flash of panic hit as I worried she’d heard our conversation through the wall. But her text was about something else.

Lala: Why do you keep a photo of me, you, and Ryan in your wallet?

Oh.When she’d admitted to going through my wallet, I’d been more concerned with the condoms in there and hadn’t even thought about that photo. I could’ve told her the truth—that I loved her smile in that photo and it made me happy to have two of my favorite people in the same shot. But then I reminded myself of my vow to Owen—that I’d do everything I could not to encourage anything between us while she was engaged. I needed to keep myself in check.

So, I lied.

Holden: I just like the way I look in it, I guess.

The dots moved around as she typed.

Lala: Conceited, aren’t we?

Holden: Yup. Sorry. I am who I am. ;-)

After a minute, another text came through.

Lala: Sorry if I made things weird tonight.

Holden: You’ve always been weird. It’s one of the things I love about you.

“Love” about you? Really, Holden?

Lala: Speaking of weird… Owen was acting weird tonight.

Great.I was hoping she hadn’t picked up on his policing me.

Holden: He’s just trying to make sure I don’t get you into trouble.

Lala: You’ve been a Boy Scout, Holden. I’m the problem.

It sucked that she blamed herself when I’d been flirting with her and egging her on this whole time. It’d been a two-way street—with me directing traffic.

Holden: Don’t beat yourself up for having a little fun in a new city. You’re only young once. And as much as you think you’ve been “bad,” you really haven’t.

I couldn’t help adding one more thing.

Holden: Believe me, if we ever truly crossed the line, you’d know it.