Prologue

"Why must we have a bluestocking for a daughter?"

Sarah blinked rapidly, doing her best to push her tears back. She had been sitting in her favorite place in the house – in the library – engrossed in a book on the latest discoveries of certain birds on the continent only for her mother and father to come into the room. No doubt they had been looking for her but, given that she was seated in the window seat with the curtain drawn so as to hide her away all the more, they did not know her to be present.

"She is very plain, my dear." Lady Harcastle replied, making Sarah's eyes squeeze shut such was the pain now rifling through her. "And she is the youngest of our five, so there has been some neglect there on my part."

Lord Harcastle sighed so heavily, it seemed to fill the room. "All the same, my dear, there must be something we can do. I cannot accept – I will not accept – that one of my children remains unwed."

"I do not want a spinster for a daughter as much as you," came the reply, "but we have permitted her to read as freely as she wishes for a very long time. I confess that I did not ever think her to be a bluestocking, presuming only that she read either foolish novels or of matters pertaining to a lady's etiquette, but now I learn that she is well versed in all manner of things! Last evening's dinner was a complete embarrassment for us all."

Sarah closed her eyes tightly, putting one hand to her mouth. Last evening, her father had brought a gentleman by the name of Lord Johnston to their estate for dinner. He had apparently become acquainted with the fellow some months ago on a business matter and Sarah had thought nothing of it, until she saw her mother's sharp glances towards her, the nods of the head in the direction of the gentleman and the occasional widening of the eyes when Sarah had said something that was, by her mother's standards, entirely unnecessary. Slowly, she had come to understand that her parents had hoped for a match to be made between them, that there would be an interest in her on the part of the gentleman but, evidently, her conversation had put an end to those hopes. Sarah had not thought there was anything wrong in what she had spoken of, sharing her thoughts on various matters of present considerations within society and out of it, speaking of her interest in all matters as regarded animals and the newly discovered species abroad… but evidently, this had turned Lord Johnston away from her.

"Will you take her to London this Season, as you had thought?" Lord Harcastle's voice was low, filled with concern. "My dear, she could bring all the more embarrassment to us if she speaks as she did last evening. Perhaps it would be better if I made an arrangement, found someone who would be willing to marry her despite her bluestocking tendencies."

No, please! Sarah's heart began to pound, waiting for judgement to fall. Her mother would either agree to do as he had suggested or would agree to take Sarah to London for the Season – her second Season – as had been previously stated. The silence was overpowering her, bringing great fear to her heart as she waited, her body beginning to tremble. As the youngest of four daughters and one son, Sarah had been waiting for her time to make her presence known amongst society and was yet to be given that moment. Yes, she had made her debut last Season but her elder sister, Martha, had been also seeking a match and her engagement to Lord Thurstwick had overshadowed Sarah's Season. She had spent more time reading and being in her own company than she had been in society, having been somewhat neglected by her mother who had done all she could to make sure that Martha's match had been made certain. Sarah had told herself repeatedly that she did not mind such a thing, that it was important for Martha to have a secure future and that her time would come… though now, it seemed, it might still be snatched from her.

"I will speak with her." Lady Harcastle sounded almost sorrowful, as though Sarah's interest in expanding her mind was a great source of pain. "I will make it clear that this reading, this constant thought of pursuing yet more knowledge must come to an end. If she agrees, then I will take her to London and the Season will commence. If she does not, then we will simply find her a match."

"A wise consideration, my dear." Lord Harcastle cleared his throat gently. "I am aware that Lord Whitefield is looking for a bride."

Shock ricocheted around Sarah's heart, making her gasp for air. Lord Whitefield was a gentleman close to her father in age, known for his dark moods, ill temper and general unkind disposition. Surely they would not do such a thing as marry her to that fellow! Sarah well understood that her parents wished for all of their children to marry but they would not really marry her to a gentleman such as Lord Whitefield merely to make certain what they intended came to pass, would they?

"That could be a potential match, yes."

Sarah shuddered. Yes, they would.

"I will speak to her first before any decision is made, however," her mother continued, as Lord Harcastle harrumphed, clearly relieved that some sort of decision had been made. "Though we must find her first!"

They soon quit the room to go in search of her and, the moment the door closed behind them, Sarah let out a sob that she had been fighting to hold back. The door to her emotions was loosened and she broke down completely, burying her face in her hands as she cried.

How injurious her parents had been to her! To believe that her desire to read more, to learn all she could was something to be ashamed about, to call it a mortification made Sarah's heart cry out with sorrow. And this was to be taken away from her if she was to go back to society? If she was to have her Season, then she would have to give up that thing that she loved the most – her books. Could she do it? Could she promise she would not read any longer? Pretend that she was not as learned as she truly was simply so that a gentleman's ego would not be damaged in any way? Sarah wiped her eyes, feeling herself more sorrowful.

What else is there to induce a gentleman's interest? she asked herself, her heart tearing. I am a bluestocking, it seems, and have not even beautiful features to attract anyone to me. Yes, she knew that she was not the most beautiful of the sisters but to have been called plain made her feel as though she was not even worth looking at.

But if I refuse to give up my reading, then I will be forced to marry Lord Whitefield.

The thought of such a thing made her shudder violently as she put her head back and rested it against the wall behind her. Tears still came to her eyes but they were not as fervent as before. Swallowing hard, she took in a deep breath.

I will not give up my books, she told herself, firmly. But mayhap I will not have to. I have overheard my parents speaking, I know what it is that they are going to demand from me and I can agree to it while refusing to do what it is that they ask. She took in another breath, feeling herself a little more at ease. I will pretend to give it all up while keeping all that I love close to my heart, she told herself, firmly. Somehow, I will find a way. I must.