Chapter 39

Sawyer

Asher's text says that Reece and his mom are bonding. At least something is working out. I had no doubt that Mrs. Cameron would accept our decision. She has never cared for anything other than our happiness and wellbeing. Reece is lucky to have her. We all are.

But my family is another story altogether. Pippin, to be precise.

The General Store is busy and the line to the checkout is long. Thankfully, Deliah is not the one working the line I'm standing in.

I check the time on my phone. Eleven o'clock. Ezra missed breakfast. Pippin wasn't clear in her text when she sent it fifteen minutes ago.

I could have given her a piece of my mind over text or a phone call, but that wouldn't have helped. She would've just agreed with everything I said and when I got there it would be like nothing happened. No. I'm going to give my little sister a piece of my mind when she's standing in front of me.

The line moves at a snail's pace, and I get jittery. Ordering food and sending it up there in the meantime wasn't even an option. No one makes deliveries that far out.

I send Pippin a text while I wait.

Me: I'll be there in a few minutes. Don't you ever do this shit again.

Of course, she doesn't respond. She won't because she's delusional about life. Walking around with rose tinted glasses like her life didn't turn out exactly like our mother's.

I finally get to the check-out and start unloading the groceries. Two packs of diapers. Four tubs of yogurt. Milk. Eggs, Cheese. And probably the entire bakery and butcher.

When I arrive at Pippin's place, she's standing outside with the baby, waiting for me.

I grab the pasta I got from Al's Diner after I left the store from the front seat and rush up the steps.

I take Ezra from her and hand her the food. "Eat," I tell her. She's been crying. Over a fucking loser who won't even stay with her when things get tough.

"I'm sorry," she says as she shoves food into her mouth.

My blood boils but I don't scold her while she's eating. It's not polite. But she's not getting away with it altogether. "For what? For starving yourself and Ezra before you call me?" Settling Ezra on my lap, I feed him some yogurt.

"I know it's not easy for everyone, Sawyer. I didn't want to burden you again."

"You said Carlson was working and you're okay. Was that a lie too?"

She sniffs while she eats. Chewing quickly through her tears. She's hungry. My heart cracks. I can't stand this. This is how we were as kids. Eating too quickly. Eating too much because we didn't know when we'll eat again. "Don't you ever let yourself or this baby starve ever again. Do you hear me? I don't care if that cunt dies of starvation but if you ever call me after two fucking days of not eating, I'm going to kill Carlson and then I'm going to drag you out of here and you'll live with me and Ash."

She nods. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to be a bother. I know things get hard with you guys too."

"It's never so hard that you have to fucking starve, Pippin."

Ezra fusses but at least he's eaten his food. I get up to soothe him, rubbing his back and rocking him in my arms. "Shh. Shhh."

Pippin holds out her pasta. "Have some."

"No. Eat. And make sure you finish it."

While Pippin finishes her food outside, I go inside the cottage. Everything is clean and neat. Even as a young child, Pippin cleaned everything. She was the type who couldn't sit down to eat unless the place was spotless.

I check the fridge and find only a bottle of water. The cupboards are bare, except for a small throw-away tub of salt and chili spice.

I rock Ezra as I inspect the place. They don't have a TV or Wi-Fi. Carlson sold the last two TVs we bought for Pippin and the Wi-Fi signal up here is sketchy.

I flip the light switch. Nothing.

Pippin comes up behind me. Her food is finished. I watch her wash the empty container, dry it with her t-shirt and place it in the empty cupboard.

"And the electricity? I asked last month. You said Carlson will pay for it."

She sniffs. "That's what he told me."

"Where the fuck is he, Pippin?"

She lifts her shoulder, trying not to let the tears fall.

"That's it. You're leaving this dump." Ezra wriggles in my arms, and I bring his face close to mine, murmuring in his ear.

"I can't live with you, Sawyer," she rushes in. "It's not right."

"Do you know what Ash is going to say when I tell him about this?"

"Don't tell him."

"The last time Carlson ended up in the fucking hospital and Ash almost ended up in jail."

"Which is why I don't want him to know. I hate how bad things always happen because of me."

"Oh, I'm going to tell him. And if you're not going to listen to me then fucking at least listen to him," I plead. "You can't go on like this. You have a baby to think of now."

"Children need their fathers, Sawyer," she whispers.

"Children need love and care and fucking food security," I yell. Ezra fusses, so I lower my voice, holding him close to me until he settles again. "I'm sorry, darling. Shhh."

"I don't want him to grow up the way we did, without parents."

"But that's exactly what's happening here. Where is Carlson now? He's not here."

"He said he'll go to rehab. He'll change. He'll stop the drugs and he'll get a job. A proper job, and things will get better."

Fuck. I want to whip my sister's ass for the shit pouring out of her mouth.

"How much is due on the light bill?" I ask.

"Fifty," she says sniffing quietly. "I'm sorry, Sawyer. I didn't know how to tell you."

Ezra is sleeping. I take him to Pippin. "Put him down. I'll get the groceries."

I unload the truck, setting the bags on the floor and some on the table. Pippin comes into the kitchen and starts to unpack them, and I step back outside to text Asher: Can I call?

He doesn't respond. Instead, my phone lights up with a call. "Everything okay, sweetheart?" Ash says.

"Uh, yeah. Babe, I'm so sorry to do this, but the electricity is out over here at Pip's."

"Carlson didn't pay it like he said he would?" His voice is tight. Carlson better hope Ash doesn't find him. There's nothing on this earth that Asher hates more than Carlson. Carlson and Buddy Carter.

"Yeah. He didn't pay for it. I have enough in my account to cover half. Could you—"

"Yeah, of course. Send me the details. I'll make the payment."

"I'll send you what I have."

"No, baby. I got it. Keep yours."

"Okay. Thanks, Ash. Sorry about this."

"Yeah. I'm gonna kill Carlson one of these days and drag Pippin out of there and chain her up in the guest room."

"Yeah. Basically what I told her."

"Send me the details. And tell Pippin I'm coming out there the first chance I get."

Inside, Pippin is unpacking the groceries. "Ash is going to pay the light bill."

"Thank you. I'm sorry. I'll text him just now to say thank you."

"You need to leave this asshole."

She says nothing.

"Ash said he's coming up here one of these days."

She looks up at me quickly. "I don't want him to get into trouble again."

"He cares about you, Pip. He hates how much you let yourself suffer like this."

"I know. And I'm grateful. But Ezra needs a father, Sawyer."

Again with this bullshit. I text Ash the amount owing to the electric company. And then I help her unpack the groceries. Hopefully the meat and milk will keep until they switch the power back on.