Chapter 32

Asher

I'm visiting my mother today.

As I drive, I consider how lucky I am to be given a chance to love the two people who mean the most to me in the world. Those are not opportunities people get in life. But who am I to complain when I get to potentially have the very best happily-ever-after, and one I never, ever considered.

My mother's home is just outside Linksfield. She refuses to leave. She's too old to be moving around, she says every single time I beg her to move closer to town. "At least so you're closer to the hospital if anything happens in the middle of the night," I've said on several occasions.

I pull up to her quaint little house, with the white picket fence and a well-maintained garden in front. The walkway to the front door is covered in cobblestone and as I swing open the small white gate at the beginning of the path, my mother's curtain moves. Her sweet face peeks through the curtain, and I have to laugh at the glee in her face when she spots me.

Her door swings open even before I reach the steps. Her thin frame almost glides down the steps and when she takes me in her arms, you'd never guess she weighs just a little more than a hundred pounds. My mother's hugs are iron and love and an untouchable joy. In the old days, Reece got many more hugs than me. She said he needed them, and she was right, and Reece never declined a single one.

"Ohhhh, I've been waiting all month to see you." She pinches my cheeks, and then kisses the spot that is now likely red from her affection.

I laugh. "Good to see you, Mom."

She takes my hand in hers and leads me up to the house. Inside, she immediately whips up a cup of coffee, a piece of cake, some of her famous homemade pecan pie and a bowl of spaghetti.

I begin to eat slowly, wondering how I'm going to finish everything. My mother is as she has always been. Food is love. So, what can I do but eat?

She joins me at the table with a cup of tea. Setting her elbows on the table, she gives me a big smile. Man, she's gotten old over the last five years, since Dad died. I return her gaze, wondering how I got so lucky. My mother is an amazing woman.

"How is Sawyer?" she asks.

I laugh. "First of all, I'm fine."

She swats my arm. "He's my favorite."

"That's illegal. You're not allowed to have favorites." With a smile playing on my lips, I say, "He's fine."

"Busy at the woodlot?"

"Yeah. He's been working a lot these last few months."

"Tell him to slow down. I worry about my baby."

I give her another scowl. "And this baby?" I point to myself. "You don't worry about him?"

She laughs. "You're my other favorite. And I don't worry about you as much as I used to. My Sawyer is too good to you."

"The pie is great," I say.

She nods and, of course, gets up to get me another piece. "Tell me what's been going on around your parts," she says when she returns.

"If you stayed near us you'd know."

She waves me off. "This is my home. Dad said this is where we'll grow old. So this is where I'm growing old."

My heart thuds a little harder at the thought of telling my mother about Reece. But she loved him like a son, and I know how much it hurt her too when we had to leave. She didn't want to leave him, but in the end she had to choose between my wellbeing and his.

So, I just come out with it. "You remember Reece, right, Mom?"

Her eyes immediately cloud over. "Oh, honey. How could I forget Reece? He was like a son to me."

"He called me a few months ago."

She smiles. "He got brave?"

"I think so."

"How is he, Asher? Really, how is he?"

"He hasn't had a good time these last few years."

"How so?" Her forehead creases with a frown. "What happened to him, honey?"

"Well, he got married about three years ago."

Her face hardens. "To who?"

"Someone named Julie."

My mother scoffs. "Must have been his father's idea. Reece denied everything, but he knew the truth. I don't understand that man, Ash. I was so scared he'd do something to you when that journal came out."

"Yeah. I hate him so much."

"I know. I know, baby. But, at the same time, you've got to let all that rage go at some point, you know? He's a bad man for how he treated his own son, but we can't hold onto the bad feelings forever."

"I don't think I'll ever let it go. Not after what he did to us."

My mother covers my hand with hers.

"It gets worse, Mom."

"Oh, honey. What happened?"

"They had a baby. A little girl. Her name was Abigail—"

"Was?" My mother is shaking her head, her eyes filled with pity.

"Reece said she lived for fifteen minutes."

She shakes her head. "That is a God-awful terrible thing."

"And he got divorced recently."

"Oh, life is so unfair, sometimes, isn't it?"

"Yeah. But—"

My mother gives me a curious look. How do I do this?

"Mom, there's something I want to talk to you about. It's – it's not easy, but I think you'll be able to handle it."

"Oh, God, Asher, what is it? You're scaring me, honey."

I push aside the pecan pie. "When Reece called me back in March, he asked if we could see each other."

My mother raises an eyebrow. "I hope you told Sawyer about it."

"I did. Sawyer said I should meet him. That it would be a way to bring some closure to the past."

"That's my Sawyer," she says fondly.

"There's more, Mom. Much more."

"Go on, sweetie."

"Reece moved to Iowa three months ago."

She gasps and places her hand on her heart. "Why didn't you mention it before?"

"I wasn't sure what was going to come of it. It was supposed to be a short visit. But he's been cut off from his father. He thought he'd like it here in Iowa, so he got himself a job at the woodlot with Sawyer and he lives in town now."

"How—?"

"Something happened, Mom. Sawyer . . . he's developed feelings for Reece."

My mother sets down her cup. "Sawyer would never hurt you," she says, but I can see the beginnings of disappointment in her eyes.

"He hasn't," I say carefully

"Then what, honey?"

"Sawyer and I want to—" I don't know how to carry on. "We've invited Reece into our marriage. It's a mutual decision. We both want it, and Reece wants it too."

Her eyes widen, followed by a deep frown. Shock becomes confusion and then, back to shock. Gradually, she processes everything. "I don't know what to say," she says after a long time.

"It's something we want to explore, and I wanted to tell you first."

She smiles. "You're not asking for my approval or opinion."

"No, ma'am."

"You don't think it's too soon?"

I lift my shoulder in a shrug. "Sometimes, yes. But if we know that we want this, why should we wait?"

Nodding thoughtfully, my mother says, "Yes. And Sawyer is a simple boy. He doesn't complicate things. He doesn't ask for much in life, does he?"

"No, ma'am, he doesn't."

"But when he does ask for something, he's usually very sure, isn't he?"

"He is. I think that's why I trust him with this."

"Well." She takes a deep breath and pats the table. "I raised a damn good man. So, I trust that the decisions that you make with Sawyer are good for you."

Then, with a smile, she adds, "Honey, I don't mean to be a prude about things, but are you really saying it'll be the three of you?"

"Yeah." I utter a short laugh and cover my eyes with the back of my hand. So awkward.

"So, when can I see my other baby, Reece, then?"

I laugh again. "You get on with things quickly."

She joins in. "It's definitely strange, honey. But life is short, and love is wonderful in all its forms."